


Long Shadows Before Dawn

by Rochelle_Templer



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Post-Game Events, lots of friendship moments, mostly offscreen or brief mentions of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-01 04:15:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 111,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11478411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rochelle_Templer/pseuds/Rochelle_Templer
Summary: "Let's talk when it's all done...."Six months after that conversation, Laguna Loire is no closer to reconciling with his son, Squall Leonheart. However, whispers of a new enemy and a plot to assassinate the president of Esthar, will mean a new mission for SeeD and another chance for Laguna and Squall to overcome the shadows of their pasts.





	1. Chapter 1

Sitting behind his massive, illuminated desk in his private office within the Presidential Palace of Esthar, Laguna Loire tapped his fingertips against its cold, smooth surface.

It had been six months since the threat of Ultimecia had loomed over the entire world which had led to Sorceress Adel being freed from her outer-space prison and Esthar being overrun with monsters from the latest Lunar Cry that accompanied her release. Fortunately, despite all of these dire events, things had worked out very well. The SeeDs had been able to put a stop to Ultimecia’s plot, and people from Dollet, Balamb, Timber, and even Fisherman’s Horizon had worked together to contain the monster invasion that had swept through Esthar and the world beyond.

Restless, Laguna jumped up from his chair and paced around behind his desk. Clearing the monsters out of Esthar had not been an easy task. Isolated and purposely secluded from the world after the last Sorceress War with Adel, Esthar soldiers were trained, but not battle-hardened and ready to deal with such an onslaught. SeeDs from Balamb and ones who could be spared from Trabia Garden had helped as much as they could, but even they faced difficulties in dealing with so many monsters.

 Eventually, Laguna realized that he simply could not stay in his office and direct things from afar. Despite numerous loud protests from Kiros and Ward, mostly from Kiros with Ward offering stern expressions as a means of support, Laguna suited himself up and pulled out his old machine guns to join in the fighting.

_“Come on, Kiros, Ward, I can’t just sit here,”_ he had told them. _“The best offense is not waiting around for the enemy to test your defense.”_

Kiros and Ward had rolled their eyes in response to that and prepared themselves for battle. After years of serving with Laguna in the Galbadian army, they knew that when Laguna started to mangle tired sayings like that to fit his perverse sense of logic, there was little chance of talking him out of whatever he had made up his mind to do.

Fortunately, Laguna’s presence within the ranks of the Esthar soldiers had managed to significantly boost morale and give them extra courage and an incentive to fight with everything they had which helped to turn the tide in Esthar’s favor. In the end, the three of them had made it through mostly unscathed, with only Laguna suffering a minor wound to his shoulder, which he made sure to whine about as loudly as possible. While he had managed to get rid of a fair number of monsters, the greater impact of Laguna’s actions was a strong resurgence in his popularity with the people of Esthar.

Once the monsters were cleared out of Esthar and their population had been spread and thinned out enough for everyone to handle, there came the work of helping Esthar recover from the ordeal. There hadn’t been too much in the way of damage to the city itself, other than the citywide lift system, so recovery mainly focused on the people themselves and getting the atmosphere of the capital city back to a sense of calm and normalcy.

Laguna sighed and paused to study the consoles near his desk. At first, he thought about trying to make sure that Esthar faded into the background again so as to lower the chances for new hostilities with their neighbors and to prevent research, like the things Odine continued to dabble with, from becoming too big of a threat to the world. After some additional thought, however, Laguna decided that it was time to make some changes that were perhaps a bit long overdue.

 He proposed a series of reforms including an exchange program where various specialists and scientists within Esthar traveled to other countries and cities to learn from their scholars and to experience a different way of life from what they had grown accustomed to. At the same time, he provided an opportunity for small, select groups of students and scientists to visit Esthar for a couple of months at a time to help them learn more about the technological advances that had been quietly developed over the last seventeen years. While he still harbored some fears of other countries becoming too eager to advance their technology above any other cost, he hoped that exposure to these other people would give the people of Esthar a new perspective, one that could be shared with the rest of the world as well.

Laguna’s ideas were met with plenty of resistance along with cautious support. Many of the most vocal critics became strong supporters, however, after seeing the effects a few months after implementation. The exchange program had given the people of Esthar a chance to get their minds off their own problems and to gain much needed support from people from other countries. Soon, Esthar was swiftly moving back toward normal and was making progress toward becoming a more active, productive member of the global community.

At this moment, however, all of these developments were actually a distant echo in the mind of the president of Esthar. Instead of contemplating his future endeavors to help his country prosper, he was preoccupied with something that had been at the forefront of his mind ever since he had discovered it about six months ago.

Laguna’s mind kept going back over one day in particular: the day when he found out that he was a father.

* * *

 

_He had been up in space at the Lunar Observatory when he had found out. Ellone had been found just before she could be captured by Galbadian soldiers and she had been sent up into space meet him. He was preparing to go out to check on the seal holding Adel when he finally got to see Ellone again after years of wondering about her. For a second, he marveled at how much she had grown up, but those thoughts soon faded when he watched her give him a radiant smile._

_“Uncle Laguna!” she had beamed. “I’ve missed you so much.”_

_Laguna was almost certain that he had missed her even more, but hadn’t been able to find the words to tell her as she ran over to embrace him. The two of them started to talk after that, both of them full of stories to share about what each of them had been doing over these long years. By the end of it, Laguna was smiling and wondering if he would be able to stop smiling any time soon._

_His grin did fade a little, however, when he realized how Ellone was looking down in her lap, clearly hesitant to speak about something that was weighing on her mind._

_“Hey Elle, what is it?” he asked her. “If it’s about Adel, don’t worry. We’ve got her locked up tight here. Oh and don’t worry about Odine either. With me being the president and all, I can make sure that he doesn’t get any chance to force you into a bunch of experiments. And as for Galbadia….”_

_“No…no, it’s not any of that,” Ellone cut in._

_“Then what?” he asked. “Come on, you know you can tell me.”_

_Ellone looked back down into her lap for a couple more moments before taking a deep breath and looking up at him._

_“You remember why Adel and now all those Galbadian soldiers kept looking for me, right?” she said. “Because of my special powers?”_

_“Of course I remember,” he said, nodding his head vigorously. “It’s why I swore to Raine to always keep you safe.”_

_The passing reference to his late wife was enough to make Laguna pause while he quieted the sudden ache in his heart. Even after all these years, he still could not fully deal with her loss and would almost always lapse into melancholy whenever he thought about her too much. When he did take the time to let himself analyze his feelings though he realized that what he felt was not just sadness over the fact that he would never see her again, but also guilt and regret that he had not gone back to Winhill with Ellone so he could see her one last time._

_Ellone had watched him for a few seconds with a somber expression on her face before continuing._

_“Anyway, I kept thinking recently, what if I could actually get some good out of this ability for a change,” she added. “Maybe I could do something to make our lives better…maybe I could change the past so that things could turn out differently. For both of us.”_

_Laguna raised his eyebrow, puzzled, which prompted Ellone to explain._

_“I used my powers to send some people I know into the past,” she said. “Your past. Yours and Kiros’ and Ward’s.”_

_Laguna blinked several times in surprise. Elle had sent people into his past? But why?_

_“Who were these people?” he asked. Ellone shifted slightly in her seat before answering._

_“Some people I knew as a child,” she said. “When I was in that orphanage that Cid and Edea ran. They’re all grown up now, and they’re SeeDs with Balamb Garden.”_

_“SeeDs, huh?” Laguna nodded. “I suppose that makes sense.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“Well, before, Ward, Kiros and I, we just thought that those were some faeries who were watching over us,” Laguna replied. “Faeries who gave us power whenever we needed to do battle. But now that you mention that you sent SeeDs back into our past, it makes sense because they’re elite mercenary soldiers. It was probably their fighting spirits that were giving us this great boost to our strength. I mean, really, that is so cool that we had their support all those times.”_

_Laguna stood up, energized, and was about to say more when he noticed how Ellone had bowed her head again. He then knelt in front of her, much like how he had many times when she was still a small child._

_“Elle, these people, these SeeDs,” he said. “They were special to you, weren’t they? They were friends?”_

_“Yes, yes they were,” she said. “I’d like to think that they still are. Uncle Laguna, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to….I just wanted to make things better. I wanted to make it so that you didn’t have to make that huge journey to Esthar just to save me. I wanted us to have a chance to live peacefully in Winhill this time. Us, Kiros and Ward…and Raine. I wanted us to be happy.”_

_Laguna put his hand on the back of his head and made sure to smile. All of this was still somewhat of a shock to him, but he was also certain that it wasn’t worth letting Elle suffer._

_“Don’t worry about it, Elle,” he told her. “I’m not mad or anything. I think I get what you were trying to do, so it’s ok. I mean, there’s no harm done, right? And hey, you know, if these people really are friends of yours, I’d like to meet them some time. I’m sure Ward and Kiros would feel the same way.” Laguna stood back up and put his hands on his hips._

_“Hey, maybe when this whole sorceress thing is over, we could get together,” he said. “I could send some kind of message to get them to come here.”_

_“I’m pretty sure you’re going to meet them very soon, Uncle Laguna,” Ellone said as she smoothed out her shawl. “They’re leading the fight against the sorceress, and I am sure that they will be coming here to find me so I can help them.”_

_“Well, if that’s what you want, I’ll make sure to offer them any support that I can,” Laguna replied. “But if the energy I felt from them while fighting is any indication, I’m sure they will do just fine without much help from me.”_

_Ellone nodded again and settled her shawl back onto her arms. She twirled some of the fringe in her fingers, and Laguna was about to excuse himself so he could get ready to go check Adel when something inside him told him that there was something Elle wasn’t telling him._

_“Elle….?”_

_“Uncle Laguna, there is one more thing,” she mumbled, as if she had read his mind. “It’s about one SeeD, the one I sent back into your past. I…he’s….Uncle Laguna, how much did they tell you at Winhill? About what happened to me and Raine?”_

_Laguna gulped and felt a twinge in his leg. He didn’t really want to discuss Raine right now while they were in the middle of all this trouble, but a part of him sensed that this was vitally important to Elle, so he forced himself to move past his discomfort._

_“Not much,” he rasped. “They, uh, they said that she had gotten sick and she…and afterwards they sent you to that orphanage so that you’d be taken care of. They…they said that they were really nice people there.”_

_“They were, Cid and Edea, they were really nice,” Ellone responded. “And those other kids I knew there, the ones who are SeeDs now, they were great too. But um, didn’t they tell you anything else? About Raine?”_

_“Elle, you know that I wasn’t all that welcome there in Winhill,” Laguna said with a forced laugh. “I was lucky to get that much out of them. I think if that old lady who ran the flower shop had her way, I wouldn’t have even gotten that.”_

_“So you don’t know?” Ellone asked._

_“Know what? Elle, I….”_

_“About Raine, about why she....” Ellone paused and took one more deep breath so she could gather her courage. “You don’t know about her son. Your son.”_

_Laguna’s eyes bulged and his mouth fell open. He wanted to say something in response to this sudden revelation, but then he felt the biggest leg cramp he had ever had overtake him._

_“Arrrrggh!” he cried out as he hunched downward and grabbed at his leg._

_“Uncle Laguna! Are you all right?” Ellone gasped. “What’s wrong?”_

_“Not—thing’s wrong,” he stuttered. “Just…just help me to that chair, please.”_

_Ellone got up and let Laguna lean on her while she guided him to a nearby chair. Once he sat down, she pulled up another one to sit beside him while holding his hand._

_“Sorry,” he mumbled once he was able to catch his breath. “That was just an old….Elle, what were you saying about Raine…is that….?”_

_“I am so sorry, Uncle Laguna,” she said. “I can’t believe that they didn’t tell you. And I guess I thought that Raine might have said something before you left to find me. You see, not long after I got back to Winhill, Raine had your son. Unfortunately, it was a difficult birth for her and she passed away not long after that. I remember how she kept wishing that you could see your son.”_

_Laguna looked down at the floor as he tried to digest what she was telling him. He remembered now how Raine had said something about a “big surprise” that would be waiting for him once he came back with Ellone, but he had no idea what she was talking about and hadn’t thought much about it after he found out about her death._

_“Anyway, the both of us were sent to the orphanage,” she continued. “Soon, Cid and Edea realized the truth about my abilities, and Edea decided that it would be better if I were to leave and hide away with some people on this boat that she had had made just for me.  I left as soon as it was ready. That’s why you weren’t able to find me.”_

_Ellone sighed and let go of Laguna’s hand. Laguna clasped both of them together as he tried to regain some shred of his composure. A son? He had had no idea that Raine was pregnant when he left to find Elle. They had talked at one point about children and both of them had smiled at the thought of a potential sibling for Ellone, but after hearing about Raine’s death, Laguna had tried to think as little as possible about those memories. They were just another set of lost dreams that were part of a vast collection, and in some ways, they were among the most painful of all to consider._

_But now, Elle was telling him that it wasn’t merely a poignant wish after all. That he and Raine had actually had a child. That somewhere he had a family._

_“Unfortunately, Squall ended up staying at the orphanage,” Ellone said. “And later, I heard that he was taken into Balamb Garden, so I wasn’t able to see him again until just recently.”_

_“Squall,” Laguna whispered his head still down. “Is that his name?”_

_“Yes,” she replied. “Squall Leonhart. He recently became a SeeD, and is already one of the top people at Balamb Garden. Uncle Laguna, he is the one who I kept sending into your past. The others…sometimes I would send different people into Kiros’ or Ward’s past, but I only sent Squall into yours.”_

_“Wait…you sent my…my….you sent Squall into my past?” Laguna said, dazed._

_“I did,” Ellone said. “I figured that if anyone could help change things, he could. But it didn’t work. I know now that you can’t change the past. I’m sorry.”_

_Laguna waved at hand at her in an attempt to reassure her that he wasn’t angry with her, but his lips could not form any words to match what he felt inside. His mind was instantly filled with a thousand questions: what was his son like? Did he know his mother? His father? Would his son be excited to meet him? Or… would he be angry that he had been left on his own for all those years?_

_“I think he is coming here to meet me,” she added. “So you can see him soon. But would you like to see what he looks like now?”_

_Laguna lifted his head, his mouth hanging open again while Ellone smiled and reached into her pocket._

_“Remember these?” she said. Laguna saw the deck of Triple Triad cards in her hand and laughed._

_“How could I forget?” he said, happy for the light distraction. “I’m the one who taught you and Raine how to play, and in no time at all, you both were kicking my butt every time. Kiros was always laughing at me over that.”_

_“Well, I had a friend on the SeeD boat who knew someone in Dollet who sometimes makes rare cards,” she continued. “I told him about you and showed him one of your old articles for Timber Maniacs, and he sent it to his friend in Dollet. He got this made and gave it to me.”_

_Ellone pulled out a card and Laguna put his hand to his head and laughed again when he saw that a card had been made with his picture on it. He could tell that an older picture of him had been used when making it, but Laguna had to admit that it was a very good likeness and a part of him was thrilled that he was now a part of his favorite game._

_“I asked him if he would have his friend make one more for me,” Ellone said. “And I showed him a picture of Squall from an article that was written about Balamb Garden. He said he still owed me a favor so he managed to get it to his friend and he gave me this recently. I…I want you to have it. You still play, right?”_

_“Oh, of course,” Laguna said, hurriedly. “I’m still getting back at Kiros for all those snide remarks he made about my Triple Triad strategy and….”_

_The words stopped when Ellone placed the card from her deck into his palm._

_‘He looks just like Raine,’ was the first thought that came into his mind. He clutched at the card and stared at it for several moments in silence. Seeing this card, seeing his son’s face, made what he had just learned real to him. Against his will, Laguna felt his eyes mist over with tears, and he had to work hard to smile and keep them from falling._

_“Thank you, Elle,” he said, his voice rougher than he would have liked. “Hey…maybe some time we could play another game together with these cards. You know, just like old times.”_

_“Sure, Uncle Laguna,” Ellone laughed. “Let’s do that soon. But you should know now, that no matter how many times you lose, I wouldn’t dream of taking that card away from you.”_

_“Elle, I….”_

_“Sir.”_

_Both Ellone and Laguna swiveled around to see one of the scientists stationed at the observatory standing in the doorway behind them. Laguna ran a hand over his face and stood up to meet him._

_“What is it?”_

_“Sir, we are ready to do the latest inspection of Adel’s seal,” the man replied._

_“All right, I will join you in a few moments,” Laguna nodded._

_“Sir? You don’t have to….”_

_“Ah, you guys should know me by now,” Laguna said. “I’ve got to check on it too for my own peace of mind and all. Besides, it’s always good to have another set of eyes so that too many cooks won’t spill the soup, right?”_

_“I suppose so,” the man replied. Having been stationed up in the observatory many times before, he was familiar with the president’s ‘quant expressions’._

_“We will be waiting for you in the airlock, Mr. President,” he said as he backed out of the room._

_“I’ll be there in a couple minutes,” Laguna said. The man nodded and walked off down the hallway. Laguna then stuffed the card into his pocket and turned to Ellone while putting his hand back onto the back of his head._

_“Well I’ve got things to do here, Elle so I need to get going for now,” he said. “But we will talk more later. I promise. And I…I want you to know that I’m not upset about what you did and that…well….I’m really happy to see you again.”Ellone smiled and embraced him again._

_“I’m very happy to see you again too,” she murmured._

_Laguna let her go and waved at her before shuffling out of the room and leaning against a wall in a nearby corridor. His hand fell back onto his pocket, and he thought again about the child that he had just learned about. His heart was swelling with an equal amount of joy and fear at the possibilities that lie ahead for the both of them. He then decided that it would be better for now to put all of this aside and concentrate on taking care of the sorceress and on making sure that Adel did not get the chance to cause even more havoc._

_But before he started off for the airlock, Laguna Loire made a promise that he would do everything that he could to make up for the mistakes he had made with his son._

* * *

 

Back in the present, Laguna shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest. Three weeks after Ultimecia had been defeated and as soon he had been able to spare some time, he had invited Squall to the palace for that talk that he had alluded to right before Squall and his friends went to defeat Adel and Ultimecia. The conversation had been even more strained and awkward than Laguna had expected it would be and now it had been months since he had heard from his son. Despite the fact that he had guessed that Squall might not take what he told him very well and his assurances upfront that he would understand if Squall was angry or didn’t want to listen, Laguna found himself unable to stop himself from continuing to send messages to Balamb Garden in the hope that Squall would give him another chance to work things out between them. So far all attempts to contact him have been met with either silence or curtly worded responses about how busy SeeDs usually were.

Laguna frowned and shook his head. It wasn’t until he had had a chance to spend some time alone with Squall and to talk to him that he realized that he just could not let his son go without trying everything he could to fix things. He was determined to not give up, but he was running out of ideas to encourage Squall to listen to him and the thought that he might lose in his struggle to be a part of his son’s life continued to gnaw at him every day.

“Laguna?” Kiros suddenly said. “Laguna, have you been listening to anything we’ve been telling you?” Laguna whirled around and looked over at Kiros and Ward, who were standing at the other side of the room.

“Huh? Oh…oh yeah, I have,” Laguna said.

“Really?” Kiros replied, shaking his head. “And just what have we been talking about then?”

For a second, Laguna panicked. Truthfully, thoughts about his son had overtaken his mind and he had lost track of what his friends were trying to discuss with him. He happened to look over at the papers on his desk, however, and seeing the heading of _Galbadia Conference_ was just the cue he needed to shift his mind back to the subject at hand.

“Oh right, we were talking about the conference,” Laguna said. “The one coming up with Galbadia and a bunch of other countries including Esthar. I’m going to be attending that.”

“Yes,” Kiros said. “And?”

“And?” Laguna echoed, confused.

“And we were also talking about the recent assassination attempts against high ranking members of our government,” Kiros continued with an exasperated sigh. “Including you.”

“Ha ha, well I guess I’m just not too worried about that,” Laguna grinned. “After all, they haven’t even come close to getting me so far. And besides, we’re not entirely sure that these ‘attempts’ aren’t just accidents.”

“Doesn’t it seem like a little too much of a coincidence that two chief secretaries and three council representatives have all suffered from these so-called ‘accidents’ in the last month?” Kiros said.

“I suppose you could have something there,” Laguna said, putting his hand to his chin. Kiros glanced over at Ward before speaking again.

“And Ward says that the only reason why you’re still uninjured is dumb luck,” he said.

“Dumb luck? Wow, Ward, that’s not cool,” Laguna said. “Why couldn’t you say that I’m still a highly skilled warrior in his prime who can’t be taken down by a few childish pranks?”

“I wouldn’t call almost plummeting several hundred feet to your death due to a lift malfunction a ‘childish prank’,” Kiros said. “If it hadn’t been for that other lift passing by at the same time, you would be a pancake.”

“I guess,” Laguna smiled sheepishly. “I’m just glad I didn’t hurt that other guy too much when I landed on his leg.”

“So yeah, I am going to concur with Ward that it’s your dumb luck that’s kept you intact so far,” Kiros smiled back. “But we can’t afford to have an incident like that at this conference. If anything were to happen to you, there are people within our government who would use the public fervor for justice as an excuse to retaliate against Galbadia. You know that there are still a lot of grudges against them for siding with the sorceress.”

“Yeah I know,” Laguna sighed. “But I guess you can’t really blame them for that, even if it’s a little hypocritical for Esthar to take that kind of stance. Still, it’s not like I can back out of this conference. We have to start somewhere if we are going to settle our differences. And if I don’t show up, chances are, a lot of other people who need to be there won’t show up either.”

“Sadly, you are not wrong about that,” Kiros frowned.

“So it’s settled,” Laguna said, putting his hands on his hips. “I’m still going.”

“Laguna, I said that you weren’t wrong about what you said before,” Kiros said. “That doesn’t mean I agree with your plan of action. We need to take some additional precautions if you are going on this trip.”  

“Oh sure,” Laguna said. “That’s why you guys are coming along, right?”

“Yes, we are still coming,” Kiros replied. “But Ward and I have discussed this, and we agreed that we need to ramp up the security around you.”

Laguna’s shoulders slumped down and he groaned as he contemplated what Kiros’ plan could mean. He was all too familiar with how formal and serious Esthar’s soldiers tended to be while guarding him, and he was pretty sure that, not only would he have no fun at all at this conference, those soldiers would give off the wrong vibe for what was supposed to be a friendly gathering of representatives from various governments. He moved to sit down behind the desk and prepared to mount another argument against beefing up the number of soldiers accompanying them when a thought suddenly occurred to him.

‘ _Hey…SeeDs are a mercenary group. They work in small numbers. They’re supposed to be as inconspicuous as possible. And this wouldn’t be the first time that they’ve acted as bodyguards….’_

_‘Of course….’_

“Perfect,” Laguna said aloud as his grin returned to his features. “This is just the opportunity we need.”

Kiros looked over at Ward, and the both of them shook their heads. They pondered how it was just like Laguna to find something positive in the midst of attempts on his life and potential global chaos.

“Guys,” Laguna said, standing back up and walking toward them. “I have just come up with a solution to our problems. Just leave it to me.”

“Leave it to you?” Kiros said, raising an eyebrow. “Why do I suddenly feel like we’re going to end up in even more trouble now?”

“Oh come on, have some faith in me for a change,” Laguna grumbled. “Trust me, I’ve got a great idea, and it’s all going to work out. You’ll see.”

Kiros and Ward looked at each other again and shrugged their shoulders while they waited for Laguna to tell them his idea. In that moment though, Laguna was mostly focused on how pleased he was to have come up with a way to work on his relationship with his son.

‘ _Raine, I won’t give up,’_ he said to himself. ‘ _I’m going to find a way to fix things. No matter how long it takes or hard it will be.’_

_‘I promise.’_


	2. Chapter 2

Squall Leonhart stared at the message on the screen in front of him for several minutes, the scowl on his face growing deeper with every passing second.

Six months after the battle with Ultimecia, Squall was still in charge of many of Balamb Garden’s operations, with Cid and Edea mainly acting in advisory and administrative roles to help him manage things, despite their acknowledged authority over the direction of the Garden’s activities. After helping Esthar take care of its monster problem, he began to attend to numerous requests for SeeD assistance in a variety of matters from local monster problems to threats of terrorism from some of the smaller towns and cities that were still threatened by the current global instability. The result had been that everyone at Garden had been busy for the last few months, which was fine by Squall because it gave him a chance to avoid dealing with certain events in his life that he would rather not think about.

Three weeks after Ultimecia’s defeat, he had received an official message from Esthar asking for his presence at the Presidential Palace. Even though the request had been official, Squall was certain that it was actually a personal request from Laguna. He had remembered that Laguna had said something about wanting to talk after everything was over, and Squall figured that Laguna had decided that the time for that had come.

Squall leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest as he recalled that meeting.

* * *

 

_Squall walked into the room and found Laguna by himself, facing the wall behind his desk. He didn’t see Kiros or Ward around which supported his suspicions that this was not about government or SeeD business. When Laguna did not turn around for almost a full minute after he had arrived, Squall thought about saying something to indicate that he was here. The moment he opened his mouth to speak, however, Laguna suddenly whirled around and greeted him with a warm, but tentative smile._

_“Oh hey, hi,” Laguna said as he loped toward him. “I hope the trip here was ok. Do you need anything? Some refreshment or….?”_

_“I’m fine,” Squall interrupted. “Please state your business.” Laguna put his hand to the back of his head, the smile on his face waning slightly._

_“Ah I suppose I should have expected that,” he replied. “The usual no-nonsense SeeD attitude and all. It’s a lot like what I remember from when I was in the Galbadian army. You know, there was this one commander I had. Wow, he was strict. I remember telling Kiros one time that….”_

_Squall crossed his arms over his chest and turned his head to the side while looking down at the floor. Thanks to Ellone and her ability to send his consciousness into the past, Squall was aware of Laguna’s habit of rambling on and on whenever he became flustered. Squall was certain that he would be at this for a long time and was surprised when Laguna abruptly stopped talking._

_“Sorry about that,” Laguna said with a short laugh. “I kind of let myself get carried away there.”_

_“Was there something you needed to discuss?” Squall asked impatiently. Laguna reached down and rubbed his leg briefly before beginning to pace around the office._

_“Yes, of course,” Laguna replied. “There is something I need to discuss with you. Something really important.”_

_Laguna sat down and motioned at a chair for Squall, but just as Squall started to move toward the chair, Laguna jumped back up and paced about the room. Squall let out a sigh and waited for Laguna to say more._

_“Um ok,” Laguna finally said. “So I know that Elle told you about sending you back into my past and all. And you got to see a lot of stuff that happened in my life. Like when I was in the Galbadian army and the last mission I did before I left and…and Winhill, and….Raine….”_

_Squall remained outwardly impassive as Laguna’s pacing slowed and he kept reaching down to rub his leg. He didn’t really want to listen to some long, pointless spiel that told him nothing new, but he couldn’t think of any even remotely polite way to cut it short._

_“Um, Raine and I…well I know you know something about that,” Laguna continued. “She and I…after Kiros showed back up and we started to take care of some of the monsters there, I got to thinking. About my life and about the life I had there in Winhill. And uh, I decided that it was time for a change.”_

_“You married her?” Squall asked, hoping to speed things along. Laguna started a little and looked down at the ring on his finger._

_“Yeah, I did,” he said quietly. “I know all her friends were against it, but I don’t regret it. And I…I don’t think she did either. I’m pretty sure she didn’t anyway. But after that, well, life went on and unfortunately Esthar soldiers came looking for Elle, just like Raine and I thought they would. I tried. I tried everything I could to stop them from taking her, but I just couldn’t.”_

_Laguna paused and resumed his pacing, and Squall noted that his demeanor became less animated as he continued his story._

_“I knew that I had to go get Elle,” he said. “There was no way I could let her spend her life being studied and experimented on. Raine supported my decision, even though I know she really did not want me to go. And to be honest, I really did not want to leave her for even one second. But before I left, she told me that she had a surprise that would be waiting for me when I got back. A surprise that would change everything for her, me, Elle…for all of us.”_

_Laguna stopped pacing and talking for a couple minutes and Squall was about to ask him if he was done when Laguna suddenly turned to face him._

_“I didn’t know,” he said. “I didn’t know what the surprise was. All I could think about was saving Elle and getting back to Winhill and to Raine as fast as I could. Eventually, I stopped wondering what this surprise was and focused everything on those two goals. And afterward, after sending Elle back and then having to go look for her again, I still didn’t know what Raine was waiting to tell me. I went back to Winhill, but most of the people there wouldn’t even talk to me.”_

_Laguna made a sound that was almost like a soft hiccup and swallowed several times before going on._

_“It…it wasn’t until I found… until I found Raine’s grave that I was able to get anyone to tell me anything about what had happened,” he murmured. “And then, the only substantial thing I was able to get out of them was that Elle had been sent to some orphanage. No one would tell me anything about Raine other than that she had fallen ill and died. For years, that was all I knew. I guess I figured that the only way I could keep going after that was to find things to fill my time. So I worked on finding Elle, on getting Esthar back together after the whole thing with Adel, and on trying to be a leader to all those people. And I suppose it worked. Life went on, and I kept busy.”_

_Laguna waved a hand near his face, as if he was awakening from a trance, and he slowly walked about in a semicircle in front of Squall._

_“When I finally got to see Elle again here recently, she told me some stuff,” he said. “Some things I didn’t know about Raine and about that time before she….before Elle ended up at that orphanage and before she was taken in by those SeeDs. And um, I think it’s important that you know about what she told me.”_

_Squall crossed his arms and went back to looking at the floor. He had figured out a while ago where this was going. After everything that had happened recently, it hadn’t taken that much time or reflection for him to figure out the truth: that Laguna Loire was his father. Everything from the way the Moombas had confused him for Laguna after licking his blood, to the cryptic comments Ward and Kiros had made to him about how much he looked like his mother and not so much like his father, to what he had been able to piece together from all those glimpses into Laguna’s past had given him plenty of clues to solve this mystery._

_Squall frowned and tightened his grip on his upper arms. He supposed that he could have just told Laguna that he already knew and thus put an end to Laguna’s awkward progression toward the truth, but some dark corner of Squall’s heart wanted this to be as difficult as possible for Laguna. He knew that it was selfish and maybe even a little cruel, but that deep seated hurt over being alone and abandoned for so many years demanded its revenge._

_“She told me that Raine hadn’t just died from some random illness,” Laguna continued. “And that she hadn’t died alone either. And I don’t mean that she was with Elle, because she was, but it wasn’t just the two of them. She told me that Raine given birth to a child, our child. And that child, well…that child was…you.”_

_Squall glanced up to see Laguna staring right at him, his eyes searching. Squall didn’t know what Laguna was looking for, but he was certain that whatever it was, he wasn’t going to find it._

_“So, is that it then?” Squall said his tone cold and brittle. “Is that what you needed to tell me?” Laguna blinked hard, the slight smile on his lips starting to fade._

_“I don’t understand what….” Squall let his arms drop to his sides and took a couple steps back._

_“Raine was my mother,” Squall replied. “She died because she gave birth to me. And that makes you my father. Is that what you wanted to say to me?”_

_“Well…yes. But there’s more that I….”_

_“That what? That you need to explain?” Squall interrupted. “What else is there to say? You left Raine to find Ellone, and you chose to stay in Esthar rather than go back to Winhill. She died and Ellone and I ended up living in orphanages for most of our lives. You left us behind and went on with your life. And we moved on too.”_

_“That wasn’t what I wanted to do at all,” Laguna insisted._

_“But that’s what you did,” Squall retorted, his voice low and tightly controlled. “You made your decision. That’s fine. I get why you did it. You had a duty to these people in Esthar. They needed someone to help them fix things after Adel, and you stepped into that role. Ellone and I just had to make it on our own without you.”_

_“Squall, please believe me, if I had known….”_

_“What difference does that make?” Squall said. “Maybe you think that things could have been different, but it doesn’t matter. You can’t change the past. Ellone was able to figure that out. Can you?”_

_“No, you’re right, I can’t change the past,” Laguna responded. “I know that I made a bunch of mistakes, and I know that I can’t change any of that. But I guess I was hoping that…that maybe I could start trying to make up for those mistakes.”_

_“How? By telling me all this?” Squall asked him. “Did you think that telling me that you’re my father would somehow make everything better? Did you think that it would make up for all those years that you went on with your life as if I didn’t even exist?”_

_Squall turned away and walked toward the door. He could hear Laguna following him, but he made sure not to look back at him._

_“Squall….”_

_“Laguna, I don’t know what you were thinking when you asked for this conversation and I don’t really want to know,” Squall growled at him. “I spent way more time than I could possibly want inside your head, and I’ve had enough. So unless you’ve got some official business with Garden, I’m leaving.”_

_“No,” Laguna mumbled. “Nothing official. Not with Garden or SeeD.”_

_“Then there’s no reason for me to be here,” Squall said. He walked out the door, and as he did, he could hear a groan from Laguna, but he refused to look back, suspecting that it was just another one of those ‘convenient’ leg cramps that Laguna got whenever he wasn’t ready to handle stressful situations in his life._

* * *

 

As he came out of his reverie, Squall’s frowned softened, but did not go away. He ended up letting Rinoa, Quistis, Zell, Selphie, and Irvine know about what had happened at that meeting with the explicit demand that they keep this a secret from everyone, including Cid and Edea, as a way to prevent any possible political complications from arising due to his connection to the president of Esthar given his position within Garden. For weeks after that meeting, Squall did his best to bury himself with work and avoided thinking about it. Old anger and memories of loneliness had strengthened his belief that it was better to push the past and Laguna out of his life and to not encourage any further contact between them. Convinced that he was completely justified in his actions, Squall concentrated on getting his life back to a more comfortable existence.

Weeks turned into months, and eventually Squall’s emotions faded from a violent rupture of pain and vague feelings of betrayal into a dull ache. This reduction in intensity helped him find the clarity he needed to reconsider what he had done and said and to attempt to think about Laguna’s perspective.

_“Squall, please believe me, if I had known….”_

Squall let out a long sigh as he remembered those words yet again. It was clear that Laguna was trying to tell him that _if_ he had known that he had a son, things would have been different. _If_ he had learned the truth back then, he would have done more than just quietly search for Ellone while tending to Esthar. Everything seemed to hinge on that single _if_. The fact was Laguna had not been given the opportunity to choose between his obligation to Esthar and his responsibility as a parent. Squall pondered how, much like how he had had little choice in what happened to him back then, Laguna had had the truth about his family stolen from him, making it unlikely that he could have made any other decision than the one he ultimately chose.

Still, resentments built over an entire childhood continued to have a hold on him, and Squall found it impossible completely separate his legitimate sorrow and pain over how he had had to grow up from the pettier, vindictive sides to those feelings. Ruminations over the conversation he had had with Laguna gradually added one more emotion to this potent mix: regret. Regret that he had been so harsh with Laguna and regret over the wall that he had put up between himself and his father.

It was this regret, along with an oppressive uncertainty over what he could do differently if they were to see each other again, which had compelled him to avoid answering Laguna’s continued requests for another meeting. Even though he soon wished that one of them could find a way to break this stalemate of doubts and hurt feelings between them, Squall couldn’t stop himself from being a little afraid of the day when that breakthrough came.

Squall stretched his limbs and sat up in his chair. This latest message from Esthar on his computer screen had actually come from Kiros Seagill and was a formal request for SeeDs to guard the president of Esthar while he attended an upcoming conference in Deling City. But Squall was certain that Laguna was behind this, and as a result, he was wary of responding to it.

His confused feelings over the matter led to him forgetting about how official SeeD requests were automatically transmitted to the computers of all top ranking members of Garden, a fact that he was promptly reminded of when Cid and Edea appeared in his office.

“Ah Squall, good, I see that you are reading Esthar’s request for our services,” Cid said as he approached him. “That takes care of any need for a mission briefing.”

“Sir, I take it we are accepting Esthar’s request?” Squall said.

“Of course,” Cid replied. “This is exactly the kind of thing SeeD needs to be doing now that the immediate problem of the sorceress has been taken care of. The conference in Galbadia might not be an official conference between governments, but it’s important all the same.”

“I understand,” Squall nodded. “I will make sure to assign an excellent detail to the Esthar delegation.”

“Actually Squall, Edea and I have already decided that this job should be handled by the best that Balamb Garden has to offer,” Cid said. “And that means you and your team.”

“Me?” Squall said. “Sir, I have too many duties here. Shouldn’t we….?”

“Squall, listen to me, please,” Edea said, stepping forward past her husband. “You have to understand how important all of this is. Galbadia is still disliked by many throughout the world, not without reason, mind you, and Esthar is just now starting to build relations with other countries after years of antagonism and then isolation. To many, President Loire represents a more benevolent and cooperative Esthar, far different than how it has been perceived in the past.  These people trust President Loire and are counting on him to encourage other countries to work together to formulate treaties and settle long-standing differences.”

“Quite right,” Cid added as he darted about Squall while nodding his head. “An incident in Galbadia involving Esthar’s president would be disastrous. There are people who would take it as a sign that Galbadia is unwilling to live peacefully with its neighbors, and the people I have talked to recently from Esthar have convinced me that Esthar would not react well at all to an attack on one of their most beloved citizens. It is imperative that this conference goes as smoothly as possible and that President Loire has absolutely nothing untoward happen to him. That is why we need you and your team, a team that has already been proven to be the best that Balamb Garden can offer.”

Squall crossed his arms over his chest and looked down and to the side. It was clear that Cid and Edea were completely set on the idea of him being a part of Laguna’s security detail, and even though they gave him plenty of freedom in how he handled SeeD business, Squall knew that they were still ready to assert their authority if they felt they needed to.

“I understand,” he mumbled. “I will get my people together and brief them on this mission as soon as possible.”

“Great, wonderful,” Cid smiled. “I am sure now that there will be no problems. Not with the six of you there to take care of things.”

* * *

 

A couple hours later, Squall was standing on one of the balconies on the edges of Balamb Garden, watching the scenery drift by him. Even though the immediate threat of Galbadia and the sorceress was no longer a concern, many within Garden had seen an advantage to continuing to remain mobile and only settling in any one spot for short periods of time. Right now, they were slowly moving toward Deling City so they could stop for a while in an area a few miles south of the city.

The moon had begun to rise and its reflection on the ocean wavered and shimmered as Garden sailed along, the water rippling around it. Squall had lifted his head toward the sky when the sound of footsteps interrupted his train of thought.

“Hey, I heard that we have another mission,” Rinoa said as she walked over to stand beside him, a smile on her face. “Where are we going to this time?” Squall made sure to give her a smile of his own and put his arm around her waist.

“Esthar, to join a security detail,” he answered. “And then we will be going to a conference in Deling City.”

“Oh Esthar,” Rinoa said, clapping her hands together. “I can’t wait to see that incredible city again.”

Squall’s smile widened a little. He hadn’t been able to forget how people from Esthar had been willing and anxious to seal Rinoa away just because she had inherited Edea’s sorceress abilities, and he continued to be amazed at how generous Rinoa could be when it came to forgiving others for their actions.

“Hey wait… Esthar,” Rinoa mused. “Does this mean that we’ll be seeing Laguna and his friends again?” Squall turned to look back at the night sky, his face falling.

“Yes,” he said. “Kiros wants to hire SeeD to protect Laguna while he attends this ‘cultural exchange’ conference. I guess everyone is worried about some kind of international incident if anything happens to him while he’s there.” Rinoa looked over at him and placed a hand on his arm, causing him to look back at her.

“Squall, are you sure about this?” she asked. “This assignment, I mean. I know that you and your….that you and Laguna haven’t exactly been on good terms ever since you guys had that talk.” Squall frowned, but did not loosen his hold on her.

“I don’t exactly have a choice,” he said. “Cid and Edea made it clear that they want me to handle this, and with Laguna being the president…it’s not as if Garden can afford to ignore a request like this. I’m sure he was counting on that.”

“What, you mean you think Laguna made sure that you’d be the one assigned to him?” Rinoa responded.

“He probably did not do it overtly, but I am pretty sure that he did what he could to ensure that it would work out this way,” Squall said. “I suppose I’m going to have to stop underestimating him.”

“Don’t worry,” Rinoa laughed. “I think Laguna has been letting people underestimate him for a long time. He strikes me as someone who is always a little more aware of things than he’d like to admit to the world, not unlike a certain SeeD I know.”

“Please,” Squall said, with a trace of irritation. “Don’t start comparing me to him. That guy is clumsy, disorganized and has no idea how to be serious for even one moment when faced with a pressure situation.”

“Oh I’m sure you’re right about all that,” Rinoa said with a sly smile. “But still, I think I can see a little bit of him in you, perhaps even something more than a little bit.” Squall scowled again, and Rinoa laughed a little before wrapping her arms around him and moving even closer to him.

“Squall, maybe this assignment is just what you need,” she continued. “Spending this time with Laguna, it could give you a chance to mend things with him. I know that you two have a lot between you, but…he is still your father.”

“Mend things with him?” Squall echoed. “This coming from someone who hasn’t talked civilly to her father in years?”   Rinoa lowered her head, resting it against Squall’s arm.

“That’s not fair,” she said. “The situation between me and my father is totally different than the one between you and Laguna.”

“Maybe the circumstances are different,” Squall said. “But the results are pretty much the same, aren’t they? So you tell me, why exactly should I put myself through something you’d never do?”

Rinoa looked up at him with a wounded look in her eyes, and Squall immediately regretted his words. ‘ _Seems like I can’t say the right thing to anyone anymore,’_ he thought to himself. He was about to apologize when Rinoa’s expression suddenly changed from hurt to calm resignation.

“I guess you have a point,” she said. “You’re right. It doesn’t matter how it started, the result is the same as the situation between you and Laguna.”

“Rinoa….”

“But that doesn’t mean that that’s the end of it,” she continued. “You said that we’ll be going to Deling City for this conference, right? Well maybe this is an opportunity for both of us.”

Rinoa pulled away and clasped her hands behind her back while tracing a circle with her foot. A few seconds later, she looked into his eyes again.

“Let’s make a promise,” she said. “I promise to go talk to my father if you promise to give Laguna another chance.”

“Rinoa, I….”

“Come on, Squall,” she said, leaning toward him. “Don’t you see? We need to do this.  After all that stuff with Ultimecia, I don’t want to think about having a bunch of things left undone and unsaid. I want to live my life without all those regrets. And I want you to have that too. Please?”

Squall let out a sigh as he dropped his face against his palm. He couldn’t see any flaws in her argument and instinctively knew that he was going to let her talk him into this. He then wondered for the umpteenth time in these last few months how exactly she managed to have this kind of effect on him.

“All right,” he said as he raised his head. “If you’re willing to meet with your father, I’ll try to get along with Laguna for this mission. But I can’t promise anything.”

“That’s all right,” she beamed at him. “I have no idea how well this is going to go with my father either, so it wouldn’t be fair for me to insist that things turn out perfectly for you.” She then leapt toward Squall and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Squall stumbled back, surprised, but managed to stay upright and put his arms back onto her waist.

  “Don’t worry so much, Squall,” she said as she squeezed him tight. “I just know that things are going to work out between you and Laguna. You’ll see. You won’t regret doing this. I’m sure of it.”

Squall sighed and let himself smile again as he held her close to him. He could not muster up the same level of confidence that Rinoa seemed to have about this, but he couldn’t deny that her belief in him and in a positive outcome for him made him feel warm inside. He closed his eyes and started to stroke her hair.

“Please,” she whispered. “Don’t let me go. Not tonight.” Squall bowed his head down so that his lips brushed her ear.

“I won’t let you go,” he murmured. “I promise.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Balamb Garden settled on a plain near Deling City where a transport to Esthar was waiting for them. Squall, Rinoa, Zell, Quistis, Selphie, and Irvine met with Esthar soldiers who then invited them onboard before embarking on a return trip to the Presidential Palace. Having gone over the basics of the mission the evening before, the conversation inside their cabin drifted toward small talk.

“It’s so cool that we get to help guard Sir Laguna,” Selphie grinned. “I wonder what he’ll be doing at this conference.”

“Probably dealing with some long-winded delegates,” Irvine sighed. “Trust me, I had to attend a couple of those things while I was still at Galbadia Garden. They are almost always mind-numbingly dull. The only thing that kept me awake during the last one was the waitresses and their cute little….”

“Cute little what?” Selphie said with threatening eyes. Her look did not escape Irvine’s notice and he swallowed loudly.

“Cute little drink concoctions,” he said. “After three of those ‘Chocobo Blaster’ drinks, I didn’t feel human for hours. That’s the last time I try to keep up with a Galbadian politician.”

“Are you sure it was the trays of glasses that you were thinking of?” Quistis said with a smirk forming on her lips.

“Quistis, how can you ask me a question like that?” Irvine said with a dramatic wave of his hand.

“Forget it, Quistis,” Selphie said, turning away from Irvine. “Irvine is welcome to all the cocktail drinks he wants while I make sure to get Sir Laguna to dance with me.”

“Uh, I don’t know if Laguna really strikes me as the dancing type,” Zell said, scratching his head.

“That’s ok,” Selphie said with a toss of her head. “I’m sure he’ll be a quick learner.” Zell thought about saying something else in response to that, but a look from Quistis let him know that it probably wouldn’t be a good idea.

“So…are we going to have to work with a bunch of Esthar guys then?” Zell asked Squall instead, eager to move the conversation to safer ground.

“From my understanding, only peripherally,” Squall replied. “Kiros mentioned in his request that part of the reason SeeD is being hired is so that the security can maintain a low profile. Esthar soldiers will be stationed near the hotel and outside the main conference hall, but they won’t be accompanying us into any of the events or meetings or staying in the hotel itself. It will be up to us to keep the president and his staff safe in their rooms and as they travel throughout the city.”

“It’s just going to be Laguna, Kiros and Ward, right?” Zell said. “That shouldn’t be too hard.”

“I don’t know,” Irvine said, leaning back in his seat and stretching his legs in front of him. “Deling is a huge city. There’s lot of places where an assassin or a team of assassins could make their base. Lots of great vantage points for snipers and for other kinds of sneak attacks.”

“You talk as if you’re some kind of expert,” Zell huffed, turning his head slightly. Irvine chuckled and folded his arms behind his head.

“I kind of am,” he said. “That mission where we met up again to take out Matron, that wasn’t exactly my first sniping job, you know. I have done others.”

“That’s why you’re here,” Squall said. “We will need you to analyze all routes and destinations while we are there to find potential weak points so we can prepare for them.”

“Will do,” Irvine said with a yawn and flick at the brim of his hat.

“Squall, one of us will probably have to stay close to the president at all times,” Quistis said. “Kiros is probably right in thinking that he will be the most likely target of the three of them, and there will be a lot of opportunities for someone to go after him given how he is scheduled to be a prominent guest at just about all of these events.” Squall let out a long sigh and brushed a hand over his face.

“I’ll do it,” he said. “As the mission commander, ultimately, I’m the one responsible for keeping the president safe at all costs. I’ll have an easier time ensuring his safety and directing this operation if I stay alongside him.”

“Remember Squall, we’re here to support you,” Quistis responded. “So don’t feel as if you have to take all of this onto your shoulders.”

“Yeah, you can count on us,” Selphie chimed in. “So stop trying to take away all our fun and let us help you protect Sir Laguna.”

“Fun?” Squall said, looking over at her with a perplexed expression.

“Why not?” Selphie grinned at him. “We’re SeeDs. Marching into battle, protecting our comrades, fighting against evil…this is what we do. It’s our lives. Why shouldn’t we have fun while we’re doing what we live to do?”

“Yeah, she’s right,” Zell smiled, pumping his fists into the air. “Besides, Laguna, is like one of us, in a way.” He glanced over at Squall and noted his inscrutable expression.

“I’m not saying that because he’s your dad,” Zell said with a nervous cough. “Not that that’s not important too. It’s important. It is. But what I really mean is…I mean because of how we got to see his life, and Ward’s and Kiros’ when we went back to their pasts. It’s like, during those times, we weren’t just seeing them. We actually _were_ them. I know I’ll never forget it, and because of that, it makes a lot of sense to me that we should fight to protect them for the same reason we fight for each other….Does that make any sense?”

A faint tint of red came to Zell’s cheeks, and Quistis smiled and muffled a short laugh by putting her hand over her mouth.

“I don’t know if I would have put it that way, but I think can safely say that Zell speaks for all of us, Squall,” she said as soon as she was able to regain her composure. “So please, don’t feel awkward about asking for our help in this because all of us want to help. For you and for Laguna.”

Irvine, Zell and Selphie all nodded in agreement, and Squall looked at them with a trace of a smile.

“Thank you,” he muttered as he settled back in his seat. The four of them went back to conversing with each other, and Squall closed his eyes for a moment before feeling Rinoa’s hand on his forearm, her fingers stroking his wrist. He opened his eyes to see her staring at him.

“Don’t forget, I’m here to help too,” she said. “I know I’m not officially a SeeD, but I….”

“I know,” he said. “But remember, out in the field, you need to follow orders. That means you can’t just do whatever you feel moved to do in the moment.”

“I understand,” she said, her tone serious. “You’re in charge here. I get that. Just make sure that you don’t forget that I’m here for you too….and that I’m also ready to fight.”

“I won’t,” he said, putting his other hand over hers. Rinoa smiled and leaned against him while Squall went back to studying the landscape flying by them.

After the final battle with Ultimecia, Squall quickly discerned that her death did not mean that Rinoa was safe. There were still plenty of people who feared anyone who could potentially use a sorceress’ powers to launch a rampage against the world. It was immediately clear to him that Rinoa would have to be careful about how she lived her life from this point on. After talking it over with his friends and with Cid and Edea, it was decided that the best thing to do for now was to have Rinoa remain with Balamb Garden where she could be monitored and protected. Cid and Edea managed to concoct a cover story of her joining the Garden staff as a “contractor” and with Laguna’s help; they had managed to keep Rinoa’s connection with the battle with Ultimecia hidden from most of the world excepting a very select few whose loyalty to either Garden or Laguna could guarantee their silence.

Squall turned his gaze from the window toward Rinoa, who was watching everyone else talk with a contented smile on her face. Most of the time, she stayed at Garden while each of them went on missions as a way to keep her from attracting too much attention. Still, Squall and the others decided that she would be safer if she had the means to better defend herself, and all of them had taken the time to help train her in the techniques they had learned as SeeDs.

Squall curled his fingers around hers and tried to relax. Despite Cid and Edea’s suggestion to include Rinoa in this mission, Squall had some doubts about taking her along. Eventually, however, it occurred to him that a mission like this, one where she would not be in the front lines for a large portion of it, would be a good chance for her to apply and refine what she had learned from their training. Besides, as much as he hated to admit it, he was grateful that he could also rely on her moral support while he tried to cope with his convoluted feelings about Laguna while simultaneously having to spend so much time around his father.

“Look, we’re here,” Selphie squealed as she bounced in her seat and pointed at the windows. “Esthar’s reappearing.” Everyone turned to look outside, Squall shifting around in his seat to join them.

They watched as a liquid shimmer of light flowed down toward the ground, and massive buildings appeared in its wake. Even though Esthar was making progress toward friendlier relations with its neighbors, Laguna continued to keep the city hidden from view most of the time, partially due to old habits and partially due to his desire to keep the transition from secretive isolation to robust presence a gradual one. As a result, they were treated to an astonishing sight as they watched the immense and almost other worldly metropolis materialize as they approached it.

Once they arrived, the soldiers escorted them to the entrance of the Presidential Palace and stationed themselves outside of it. The team walked over to the nearest lifts and sat down so they could be lifted up into the air and to the floor where Laguna’s office was located. After they met up in the hallways above, they walked together past more aides and soldiers before going into the office and finding Kiros and Ward standing in front of Laguna, who was slumped down in his chair, his feet on his desk, reading a magazine. Seconds after they had walked into the room, Laguna looked up and tossed the magazine aside as he stood.

“Hey guys, great to see all of you again,” he said with a congenial grin. “How have you been?”

“We have been well, thank you,” Quistis nodded. “And it is good to see you again too, Mr. President.” Laguna put his hand to the back of his head and ran his fingers through his dark hair, which had a few tiny flecks of silver and was mostly tied back into a ponytail.

“Ah, after all the stuff we went through together, there’s no point in all this formality,” he said. “So let’s forget about the whole ‘Mr. President’ thing. Just ‘Laguna’ is fine.”

 “Ok,” Zell shrugged before holding out his hand. “And yeah, it’s cool to see you again too.” Laguna’s grin grew as he turned toward him and shook his hand.

“Thanks…Zell, right?” Zell nodded and Laguna started to pace in front of them. “And you’re Quistis…Irvine…and, Selphie?”

“Yep,” Selphie smiled as she took a step toward him. “Sir Laguna, did you get the message I sent you a couple months back? The one about your old Timber Maniacs articles? You know I get messages from people all the time wondering when I’m going to get a chance to update my website about you.”

“Erm, yeah I got your note,” Laguna stammered. “But I haven’t been able to find any more of my old articles yet. Sorry. I’ll keep looking, ok?”

“Awesome, thanks,” Selphie said, clasping her hands together. Laguna made sure to smile again as he nodded at her, and at that moment, Squall wasn’t sure if the shade of scarlet coloring his father’s face was from Selphie’s usual extreme enthusiasm or the fact that she continued to call him ‘Sir Laguna’.

“Do you remember me too?” Rinoa said as she moved to stand beside Laguna. Laguna’s smile relaxed as he turned to face her.

“Of course, Rinoa, Rinoa Heartilly,” he said. “How could I forget you? You look just like your mother, Julia.”

“How did you…?” Rinoa started before catching herself. “Oh that’s right. Squall said that you knew my mother back before she married my father.” She smiled and offered her hand for him to shake which he took.

“Laguna, I was wondering,” she said, still holding his hand. “I wasn’t very old when my mother passed away. So I was wondering, if at some point, we could talk about her. About what you remember. I’ll understand if you don’t want to or if it’s too….”

“No no, don’t worry about that,” Laguna replied, shaking his head vigorously. “I would be glad to. Really. Just let me know when you’d like to do it.”

“Thank you,” Rinoa said, squeezing his hand one last time before letting it go. Laguna nodded and slowly made his way over to Squall. Squall watched as Laguna opened his mouth as if to speak and then close it. He did this a couple times, and Squall’s eyebrows scrunched close together as he studied him.

‘ _How long is he going to do that?’_ he asked himself. ‘ _Is he going to be like this for the entire mission?’_ Squall started to wonder if maybe he should find some way to break the silence, but Laguna finally took a deep breath and found his voice.

“Hi Squall,” he said. “It’s really great to see you again. I hope um, that the trip was ok.”

“It was fine, thank you,” Squall said. “Let’s go over our itinerary in Deling.”

“Oh, oh yeah, sure, of course,” Laguna nodded. “Well there’s not really much to talk about there. Most of this conference is going to be at this fancy pavilion they just finished building. It’s either that or the hotel for most of this.”

“That’s mostly accurate actually,” Kiros said with a nod before stepping forward. “There aren’t any events that are scheduled outside of the pavilion and it’s not too far from the hotel, so there is not much ground to cover in Deling.” He stepped over to a console at the side of the room and bunch a few buttons which brought up a three dimensional projection of the city.

“From what I can tell, the biggest concern is the route to and from the hotel,” Kiros continued. “That and the pavilion itself due to its sheer size and intricacy. The hotel, however, should be easy enough to secure.”

“I agree,” Irvine said, scanning the layout. “Still, I see a couple of problematic points. I better check them out when we get there.”

“You’re still firm on that whole ‘can’t go for a night on the town’ thing, aren’t you?” Laguna said. Kiros sighed and shook his head.

“You know I am,” he said. “The fewer places we add to our schedule, the better.”

“He’s right,” Squall said. “It’ll best if you stick with the hotel and conference events.”

“Fine,” Laguna said, gloomily. “Kiros, you really are no fun at all. You and Ward. Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for an excuse to visit some of our old haunts in Deling?” Squall frowned and turned his head.

‘ _What is with this guy?’_ he wondered. ‘ _Doesn’t he realize that we’re trying to prevent an assassination? It’s like he thinks this is some kind of field trip or something.’_

“Kiros, you mentioned in your request something about recent threats,” Quistis said as she folded her arms onto her chest. “What can you tell us about those?”

“It started out with just letters and anonymous postings on government sponsored message boards,” Kiros said as he typed away at the console. “We didn’t pay much attention at first because it’s the sort of thing we’ve grown accustomed to around here. But recently we’ve had some ‘accidents’ befall more than one prominent member of our council. Fortunately, none of them have been fatal, but the latest one was an attempt on Laguna and it did almost succeed.” The rest of them turned to look at Laguna, who was shuffling in place from one foot to the other.

“Kiros always worries too much,” he said. “It wasn’t anything major. Just a bruise to my ego is all.”

“Still, a direct attempt,” Zell said. “These guys must be serious.”

“That’s why we are taking these precautions,” Kiros said as he turned the monitor off. “Keeping Laguna safe is not too hard while he is here in Esthar. But those security resources will vanish as soon as he leaves the city so we will need your assistance at that point.”

“You can count on us,” Zell said, pumping a fist out in front of him. Quistis, Selphie, Rinoa, and Irvine nodded in agreement while Squall looked on. He then glanced over to see Laguna staring expectantly at him.

“Squall?” he said. “That includes you too, right?” Squall frowned again and went back to looking at the floor.

‘ _What does he want from me?’_ Squall asked himself. ‘ _We’re SeeDs. Once we accept a contract, we honor it to the bitter end. The fact that we’re here says all that needs to be said about that.’_

“We should get going,” Squall said as he looked up to face everyone. “Getting there before the conference actually starts will give us needed time to organize.”

“Of course,” Kiros said. “But do not worry about time. We will be using the Ragnarok for our transportation so we should be able to get there well ahead of schedule.”

“Woo-hoo,” Selphie cheered as she bounced in place. “We get to fly again. Hey, is it just going to be us?”

“Yeah,” Laguna smiled at her. “The soldiers will be going on a different transport. So if you want to pilot again….”

“You bet,” Selphie said, raising a hand into the air. “Let’s go!”

Kiros and Ward laughed a little at her excitement and followed her, Quistis, Irvine, Rinoa and Zell out of the office. Squall started to head for the exit as well when he noticed Laguna hesitating in the middle of the room.

“Laguna?” he said. “Are you ready to leave?” Laguna scratched his head and finally started to stroll toward the door.

“Sorry about that,” he said. “I was just thinking…no, it’s nothing. Let’s get going.”

Squall watched him dash out of the room, and he put his hand to his face.

‘ _Why did Cid and Edea insist on this? It would have been so much better if they had let someone else handle it. And what was Rinoa thinking with that promise anyway?’_

_‘And for that matter, what was I thinking when I agreed to all of this?’_

_‘Better not to think too much about it. Just keep my head down and do my job.’_

Squall lifted his head and as he walked out of Laguna’s office, he thought about how doubtful he was that things were going to be that easy.

* * *

 

Once they were on the Ragnarok, Laguna walked around and tried to clear his mind without much success.

The moment he saw Squall walk into his office, Laguna felt his leg flare up and he had had to put an enormous amount of effort into ignoring the pain. Even though this wasn’t the first time they had met, Laguna could not help put be stunned every single time he saw him over how much Squall reminded him of Raine. The light chestnut hair, the ice-blue eyes that missed nothing, and even the practical, tough demeanor which surrounded him when he walked into a room were all almost identical to Raine, and Laguna felt a pang of loss in his heart whenever Squall came to see him.

This time, however, there was the added tension of the memories of their last meeting, and Laguna wondered if Squall still felt the same way he did the last time they met.

‘ _He’s so quiet,’_ Laguna mused. ‘ _But that’s normal, right? Elle and his friends said something about how he isn’t really conversational a lot of the time. But what if that’s not it this time. Is it because of me? Am I making him nervous? Should I give him his space and wait for something to happen or should I try to break the ice first?’_

Laguna sighed and shook his head. There were so many things he wanted to ask Squall and so much he wanted to tell him that Laguna didn’t know where he could possibly begin. The somewhat rational part of his brain kept asking why he felt so nervous and anxious over this and wondered how he could feel so attached to Squall when he barely knew him. But then Laguna simply had to glance over at him and his heart would remind him that this was his son, and any question as to why he felt so strongly seemed silly and meaningless.

That thought finally moved him to action, and Laguna drew himself up and started to walk over to where Squall was sitting.

‘ _I need to do this,’_ he told himself. ‘ _I’m the parent here, so it’s my responsibility to make the first move.’_

As he got closer to his destination, however, Laguna didn’t feel like a responsible, authoritative parent, and he was disappointed in himself when he gulped when Squall looked up at him with a stern, impassive expression.

“What is it?” Squall asked him. Laguna put a smile on his face and brushed a stray lock of his hair behind his ear.

“Mind if I sit with you?” he said, pointing to the empty chair beside him. Squall shook his head and waved his hand at the seat, and Laguna scooted over and plopped down beside him. He then tapped his fingers against one of the armrests for a moment before clearing his throat.

“So…have you been to Deling City before?” Laguna asked. “It’s a pretty cool place, even with all the soldiers wandering around all the time.”

“Weren’t you one of those soldiers at one point?” Squall asked, still facing the front windows.

“Yeah, I guess I was,” Laguna said. “But things are different now. At least that’s what I’ve heard. It’s been a while since I’ve actually been there. But apparently the city itself isn’t all that different from when I grew up there and lived there. I could show you some great spots, spots that they won’t tell you about in the tour guides.”

“We’re not going to have time for that,” Squall replied. “And besides, I have been there before, so I don’t need a tour.”

“Oh you have?” Laguna said. “Right, right, that makes sense with you being SeeD and all the traveling you guys probably do. Well…well how about a drink at some point? I know for a fact that the hotel has a great pub. We could go and um, have a drink… and talk and…..”

Laguna stopped talking as the words dried up in his throat. He couldn’t believe how difficult this was, and Squall’s silence made him certain that his suggestion was about to be rejected. He started to try to think of some other topic to steer the conversation toward when a sigh from Squall caught his attention.

“All right,” Squall said.

“All right?”

“We will need to get settled into the hotel first. Then there is debriefing the rest of the security detail, checking out the conference hall, and planning for contingencies” Squall responded. “But at some point…a drink would be fine, I guess.”

“Cool, great,” Laguna said with a grin.

“I need to go over the security measures in place at Deling,” Squall said, picking up a stack of files and placing it in his lap.

“Oh hey, no problem,” Laguna said, leaning back in his seat. “Work comes first. I understand. I’ll just read a magazine or something.”

Squall nodded, opened the file at the top of the stack and began to read. Laguna thought about asking Ward for his latest battle series magazine, but then decided to watch the clouds zip by his window.

‘ _Well, at least he’s talking to me. That’s a start, right? I just need to play it cool and let Squall set the pace. We’ve got so many years to catch up on; it’s not going to happen overnight.’_

Laguna sank down into his seat and finally started to relax. He contemplated how the blue of the sky reminded him of Raine’s eyes and he let himself get lost in memories for the rest of the trip.

* * *

 

Andreian Sloclum stared up at the man reporting to him, a glaze of boredom apparent in his grey eyes.

The man, one of his duller, but obedient subordinates, told Andreian about the people who had arrived in Esthar earlier that day and who left with the president and his two closest advisors. The man made sure to be thorough in his report, but because was unable or unwilling due to fear of his superior to distinguish between relevant details and useless trivia, the report rambled on for far longer than Andreian would have liked.

Eventually he finished talking, and Andreian stood up from his chair.

“Escorts to the conference,” he said. “Sounds like the situation has become a little more challenging.”

“We don’t know who they are yet,” the man added hurriedly. “But we’ll find out soon enough.” Andreian waved a hand and chuckled.

“Don’t bother,” he said. “It’s pretty obvious who they are, given your report. It looks like Loire has decided to hire some SeeDs to accompany him.”

“SeeDs?” the man replied. “Sir, that does present a problem. Maybe we should wait until….”

“Until what?” Andreian snapped at him. “Until Loire gets back to Esthar and is safely sequestered at his palace? A palace with far more security measures than he’ll have in Deling? Maybe you’ve succeeded at incapacitating those other council members, but your one good plan to take out Loire failed miserably. So what makes you think that you can take him out after he returns and the SeeDs go back to their Garden? ”

“But sir, SeeDs. They’re the best you can get for bodyguards.”

“Perhaps,” Andreian said. “But this group…they’re still kids. And there are plenty of ways to outwit and outmaneuver kids. It’s just a matter of having the right people and the right kind of mind to see through the moves of the opponents, in this case a ragtag group of child mercenaries.”

Andreian walked over to a console at the end of his desk and pushed one of the buttons.

“Get me Danior,” he said over the intercom. “Tell him I have another job for him and his people to do. And tell him that, this time, I’m going with him. The destination will be Deling City.”   

Andreian listened for an affirmation that his orders were understood and then sat back down in his chair, swiveling it toward the window behind him.

“Leave,” he ordered the man standing in front of his desk. The man bowed slightly and rushed out of the office, making sure to close the door behind him. Andreian looked outside at the lights of the city, his reflection faint and transparent in the glass.

‘ _So, Loire, you’ve decided to get serious after all. But it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter at all. In fact, it’s better that it worked out this way. Soon you will die for your interference in the past. But I can guarantee now that it won’t be quick. Oh no, I promise you that it won’t. You made me suffer for years and so I need to make you suffer before I give you the release of death.’_

_‘Then nothing and no one will be able to stop me from realizing my plan.’_

 

  


	4. Chapter 4

After arriving in Deling and docking the ship just outside the city, Squall, Irvine, and Quistis met up with the Esthar soldiers who showed up a short time later while Rinoa, Selphie and Zell joining Laguna, Kiros and Ward checked into the Galbadia hotel. Eventually, everyone met back up to assign rooms and then they rented a car that would transport all of them to the pavilion where opening ceremonies were due to start.

“Laguna, didn’t you listen when I told you to change?” Kiros said as he glared at Laguna’s current attire of blue jeans, black sneakers and a dark green tee shirt which matched the color of his eyes.

“No way,” Laguna said, shaking his head petulantly. “I’m going to be stuffed into a suit far too many times before this is over, so there is absolutely no way I’m going to put it on now when I don’t have to. This whole ‘opening ceremony’ thing is nothing formal and you know it. It’s just a chance for a bunch of us to stand around and eat lots of appetizers while trying to find something interesting to talk about.”

“….”

“No, I’m not going back to the hotel, so forget it, Ward,” Laguna grumbled. “You two can just go ahead and stand out in your Esthar attire.”

Both Kiros and Ward shook their heads and fell silent, knowing that it was useless to argue. Soon, they arrived at the conference hall, and as they got out they gazed at the large group of people wandering toward the building.

“Sooo many people,” Selphie whined. “How are we supposed to keep watch over all of that?”

“Carefully,” Squall replied, frowning as he surveyed the crowd. “We stay close together and remained focused. Make sure to mingle a little bit though. Remember, we don’t want to be too conspicuous.”

They all nodded and were about to walk inside when Irvine stepped off to the side.

“This crowd isn’t for me,” he said. “I think I’ll go take a walk around. See what I can find.”

“Go ahead,” Squall said. “We’ll meet up later at the hotel.” Irvine grinned tipped the brim of his hat at him before turning and disappearing in the crowd.

“What’s with him?” Zell asked, indignant. “Squall, are you going to let him go like that?”

“It’s fine,” Squall said. “For this mission, I think we’ll be better off letting Irvine do his own thing.”

“Hmph, he probably is just going off to flirt with the first girl who catches his eye,” Selphie said. “You shouldn’t have let run off.”

“Hey, speaking of running off,” Zell said, looking around him. “Where’s Laguna?”

Squall blinked hard and immediately scanned the area around him for Laguna. He glanced over at Kiros and Ward and noted that they also seemed at a loss which created a surge of apprehension within him.

‘ _How was he able to disappear so quickly? And why didn’t we notice it? Did he just wander off or….or have the people who have been making those threats just make their first move?’_

Squall let his hand drop down to rest on the hilt of his gunblade. He was certain that making a scene in the midst of this crowd of people would not be a good idea, so he took a breath so he could let his mind fall back on his training.

“Zell, you and Quistis stay out here to look for him,” he said. “Rinoa, Selphie and I will go in with Kiros and Ward to see if we can find him in there. And if you see Irvine, let him know what’s going on too.”

“Right,” Quistis nodded before she and Zell split up into the crowd. Squall pushed his way through the crowd, pausing only to show the attendants at the door his access pass before entering the building. Once inside, Squall paused and stood in place as he turned around in a circle, searching the crowd for any sign of Laguna. A few seconds later, Kiros and Ward came up behind him.

“Do you see him?” Kiros asked.

“Not so far,” Squall said.

“….”

“I agree,” Kiros nodded. “Ward said that Laguna would have put up a huge fuss if he was forced away from the building.” Squall nodded and crossed his arms over his chest.

‘ _Yeah, if he was even able to put up any resistance at all,’_ he thought. ‘ _It only takes a few seconds to make a person completely cooperative…even against his will.’_

Squall ground his jaw and was about to plan a more comprehensive search when a soft, yet high-pitched set of cries caught his attention.

“Laguna!”

“Laguna!”

“Laguna!”

Squall sighed and put his hand to his face. ‘ _I’ve heard that sound before.’_

He motioned to Kiros and Ward, and they followed Squall as he weaved his way through the crowd toward the source of the cries. After only a minute of walking, they found a group of Moombas gathered around in a circle in a corner of the room, and in the center of the circle, Laguna was smiling and rubbing the back of his head.

“Hey, it’s great to see all of you again too, really,” he said with a laugh. “And you, you’re the one I met in Esthar, right? Right before took out Sorceress Adel? I was hoping that you made it out ok.”

One of the Moombas nodded its head and let out a series of growls to communicate his gratitude. Kiros and Ward looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders. At that moment, Laguna looked up and waved at them.

“Oh hey, hi guys, sorry to leave you guys so sudden,” he said. “I was heading for the door when I sort of ran into these guys and well, I kind of got swept away in a sea of Moombas.”

Squall continued to scowl even as Selphie and Rinoa walked up beside him, both of them sighing in relief.

“There you are, Sir Laguna,” Selphie said. “We’ve been looking all over for you.”

“Selphie, let the others know that we’ve found him,” Squall said.

“Gotcha,” she said before dashing off toward the exit. Rinoa started to laugh which only made Squall frown even more.

“Sorry, sorry,” Rinoa said after seeing Squall’s expression. “But you have to admit, it’s kind of cute seeing him surrounded like that.”

“Laguna, you know, you could have said something instead of just sneaking away and making us search for you,” Kiros said as he made his way through the group of Moombas.

“Kiros, what part of ‘sea of Moombas’ aren’t you getting?” Laguna replied. “I barely had time to show the door attendants my official pass card and credentials before they shoved me in here.”

“….”

“Oh, I suppose you have a point there,” Laguna said, nodding at Ward. “Hey, Squall, Rinoa, I’m sorry if I made you guys worry. In the future, I’ll try to make sure one of you guys knows where I’m going. I promise.”

“Good,” Squall said. “Please make sure to try to remember that promise for the rest of this mission, Mr. President.”

Laguna flinched at Squall’s harsh tone and looked like he was about to say something else when a voice from behind them caught their attention.

“Master Laguna, Elder is pleased to see you again.”

Everyone turned to see an Elder of the Shumi tribe walk up to them, a pair of Shumi on either side of him. The Moombas parted so Laguna could move his way toward him.

“Elder, I am glad to see you too,” he said. “And you, Attendant. Oh and how is Artisan? Is he still in the village or has he finally gone off to Fisherman’s Horizon?”

“Artisan left as soon as he finished his work on your statue,” Elder replied. “Artisan has communicated that he is quite happy with his work at Fisherman’s Horizon.”

“Wait, statue?” Laguna said. “What are you talking about?”

“Attendant would have liked to bring it here to show you as part of our exhibit at this conference,” Attendant said. “But Elder felt that it should stay in the village where it belongs.”

“You guys built a statue of me?” Laguna asked, stunned. “Why?”

“Ask these ones here,” Elder said, motioning toward Rinoa and Squall slightly with his hand. “They helped Sculptor with an important part of the project.” Laguna turned toward them, and Squall crossed his arms and looked down at the floor.

“You seriously helped them build a statue of me?” Laguna asked.

“It’s a long story,” Squall sighed.

“Not truly that long,” Elder replied. “Why not share it with Master Laguna now?”

“Yes, I would love to hear this,” Kiros smiled. “And I’m sure Ward would too.”

 Laguna grinned and looked like he was about to chime in, but after glancing over at Squall’s face; he cleared his throat and tried to look serious.

“Ah, we don’t have time for that right now,” he said. “We can talk about it later.”

“And it appears as if Elder has some people he needs to converse with,” Elder said. “Elder will take his leave now, but Elder hopes that Master Laguna will talk to him again before the conference is over.”

“I’ll be sure to do that,” Laguna said with nod for emphasis. “The same for you Attendant.”

The Shumi shuffled off with many of the Moombas following them. Soon afterwards, more people came up to Laguna, and Laguna greeted them just as warmly.

Squall and Rinoa stayed nearby, and Squall watched as numerous people made their way over to meet the president of Esthar. As the procession continued, Squall noted how at ease Laguna seemed to be with everyone he met, how quickly he was able to engage them, and how eager they seemed to be to spend time with him. Seeing the Shumi a short while ago reminded Squall of something the Elder had said when he had visited their village for the first time.

“ _We believe that Master Laguna has a special something. That something is the power to attract people.”_

Watching Laguna interact with the various people who met with him, Squall felt as if he could finally understand what Elder was talking about.

‘ _The ability to attract people, to make them feel important…is this why those people in Esthar made him the president? Maybe they were grateful that he helped them get rid of Adel, but that can’t be why he stayed the president for so long, can it? Maybe…maybe this is the reason why.’_

Squall took a drink from a tray that was offered to him and continued to observe the crowd while also making sure to keep an eye on Laguna. It may have seemed like an easy or natural skill to others, but Squall wished he understood how Laguna always seemed at ease around people and how he seemed to know what to say to people to lift their spirits or to inspire them. As the commander of Balamb Garden, Squall frequently struggled with how to lead the students and SeeDs effectively and to keep up their motivation and morale. He felt as if he was starting to get better at it, but it was a continuous struggle. Laguna, however, seemed to have no problems motivating others, and Squall began to think that perhaps it wasn’t just sheer luck and circumstance that made Laguna the leader of one of the most powerful countries of the world.

A hand touched his arm, and Squall looked to see Rinoa standing next to him with a pensive look on her face.

“I think I see some of my father’s assistants,” she said. “I bet he’s here somewhere.”

“Makes sense,” Squall replied. “From what I understand, General Caraway is still one of the most powerful leaders in the Galbadian military, even with all the recent government upheaval.”

“Yeah, that’s just like him to find a way to turn a situation to his advantage,” Rinoa huffed. “Anyway, I’m going to go see if I can track him down and ask if he wants to have dinner or something tonight. I’ll meet up with you later.”

“All right,” Squall nodded as she walked away. Squall then went back to watching Laguna and sipping at his drink. Kiros and Ward were nearby, occasionally talking to people on their own, but mostly standing silently near Laguna while he conversed with various delegates, high ranking members of society and military representatives.

“I’m getting hungry,” Laguna said after the latest batch of people bade him farewell. “How about we see if there’s a buffet table or something? Squall, you want to come with us?”

“Sure,” Squall shrugged as he fell in step with Laguna with Kiros and Ward following close behind. At one point, Laguna stopped and put his hand near the top of his forehead, craning his neck to peer across the room. Soon, he grinned and motioned toward an area toward the center of the room. They weaved their way through the crowd, and soon a large table laden with numerous trays of food was in sight.

Just as they were about to reach it, however, their path was blocked by a group of men marching toward them. The short man in the front looked to be about fifty years old with dull brown eyes and similarly colored hair that had many streaks of grey. He wore a dark purple suit and was surround by others who had on formal military uniforms. As Squall studied them, he realized that General Caraway was in the group, and he blinked in surprise. Caraway seemed to notice him at about the same time, and while a flicker of recognition briefly showed up in his eyes, he said nothing.

“President Loire, I assume,” the man in front said as he eyed Laguna, clearly appraising his appearance and finding it less than impressive.

 “I am,” Laguna replied, his voice pleasant, but neutral. “And these are my advisors, Kiros Seagill and Ward Zabac along with Squall Leonhart, commander of Balamb Garden.”

“Ah Leonhart, I have heard much about you,” the man replied. “You have gained quite the reputation as a SeeD in recent months. An impressive one, I can assure you.”

“Thank you,” Squall muttered, feeling less flattered than indulged.

“And I take it that you’re Minister Desmonta?” Laguna said.

“That’s correct,” the man in front of him said.

“But that’ll be changing soon,” one of the uniformed men added. “And then you will be addressing him as President Desmonta.” Desmonta smiled and acknowledged the comment with a wave of his hand in a feeble attempt at modesty.

“Of course, nothing is definitive yet,” Desmonta said. “But hopefully, if circumstances remain favorable. I see that Esthar continues to show a certain amount of…endearing eccentricity in their choice of elected officials. I wonder though if such eccentricity has a place in the current world climate.”

Squall could not pinpoint the exact reason for his agitation, but something in Desmonta’s tone compelled him to move a little closer to Laguna, his posture subtly shifting to a defensive one. Squall swiftly realized that both Kiros and Ward had also moved into a protective stance on either side directly behind Laguna.

“Well, you know what they say,” Laguna said. “It takes all kinds to rule the world. But hey, best of luck to you anyway though.”

“Thank you,” Desmonta said disdain coloring his voice. “But you shall soon discover that I don’t believe in luck. It didn’t play any role in getting me to where I am today, and I doubt that it will mean anything to me in the future. Unlike other people in positions of importance who coast by on little more than luck.”

Squall tensed up even more, and even though their faces were locked in carefully constructed expressions of indifference, he could tell that Kiros and Ward were infuriated at the thinly veiled insults Desmonta directed at Laguna.

“I don’t know,” Laguna said, crossing his arms over his chest. “Sometimes I think it’s really hard to know the difference between luck and skill. It’s easy to confuse them, isn’t it? Let’s take you for example. If a person didn’t take the time to learn about the skills that you possess which made it possible for you to get to your current position, he might think that you were just lucky that the previous president of Galbadia got ensnared by Ultimecia’s trap. And in that case, that person would say that you are calling both the pot and the kettle black. ”

 Squall felt the corners of his mouth twitch toward a smirk, but managed to suppress it. Desmonta glared at him with a mixture of bewilderment and anger for only a moment before placing another plastic smile onto his face.

“I suppose you have a point there, President Loire,” he said. “Now, if you will excuse us, we have some people we must attend to. But I hope the both of us can look forward to some more productive conversations in the future.”

“Sure, looking forward to it,” Laguna said congenially. “Catch you later.”

Desmonta gave him a curt nod and marched off with most of the others with only Caraway staying behind. Laguna, Kiros and Ward moved over to the check out the spread on the table while the general moved to stand in front of Squall.

“Did my daughter accompany you, by any chance?” Caraway asked him.

“She did,” Squall answered. “She’s looking for you right now, actually.”

“That is a change,” Caraway said. “Usually I’m the one who has to look for her. If you happen to see her before I do, tell her that I will be waiting near the concourse area if she wants to meet with me.”

“I will,” Squall said. Caraway nodded and plucked another drink off a tray passing by him before walking away. Squall moved over to where Laguna and the others were selecting various appetizers to eat.

“Boy you said it, Ward,” Laguna said after gulping down his latest bite. “I feel like I need to take a very long, hot shower after talking to that guy.”

“I really hope that they’re wrong about him taking over as the president of Galbadia,” Kiros sighed. “The last thing the world needs right now is another Vinzer Deling.”

“No kidding,” Laguna said. “Besides, can you imagine what negation meetings would be like with him? Ick, no thank you.”

“Still, it is a possibility we may have to consider,” Kiros mused.

“Yeah, I suppose it is,” Laguna said. “It’s stuff like that that makes me hate this job sometimes.”

‘ _Then why do you stick with it?’_ Squall thought as he helped himself to some appetizers. ‘ _You’re nothing like the kinds of people who tend to be involved in this kind of work anyway.’_

As he ate, he continued to ponder how different Laguna was from someone like Desmonta and he realized that that was probably not such a bad thing after all. He had met too many people like Desmonta, people who saw power as something they were entitled to and who thought nothing of using it however it suited them for ends with questionable benefits for the people they presided over. During most of his dealings with these ‘career politicians’, Squall was disgusted by their blatantly patronizing demeanor, by their lack of consideration for the long term consequences of their actions, and by their obviously false charm and solicitude. While it was true that Laguna seemed to lack the commanding presence these other politicians possessed, he was also free from any aura of guile and exuded warmth and genuineness that was impossible to miss.

‘ _Maybe more people in power should try to be more like him,’_ Squall mused. He then thought about how he had just told himself that there should be more Laguna-type people in the world, and he shuddered a bit before smirking to himself.

“Hey mister, how’d you get in here? I thought only big shots were allowed here.”

Squall looked over and saw a group of children gathered in front of Laguna, who was about to take a large bite when one of them spoke to him. Laguna shoved the appetizer in his mouth and swallowed it with a flourish before putting his hands on his hips and puffing out his chest.

“I’ll have you know that I’m the president of Esthar,” he said.

“President? No way,” one of the boys scoffed. “You can’t be.”

“Why not?” Laguna asked with a huff.

“Because you don’t look like one for starters,” the boy continued. “Presidents are supposed to be old, boring men in suits. You look like some renegade street artist or something.”

Both Kiros and Ward snickered, but Laguna seemed unperturbed by their laughter.

“Renegade street artist, huh?” he said, grinning. “That sounds pretty cool. So tell me…um….”

“ I’m Brencis,” the boy replied. “And this here is Kerril, Nevin, Royd, and Parlan.”

“Well Brencis, what are you guys doing here then?” Laguna asked.

“We’re going to be playing at the ball tonight,” Brencis said. “We won the music competition at our academy and we will be performing the opening waltz.”

“Pretty impressive,” Laguna said, putting a hand to his chin. “I’ll be sure to be there to see it.”

“Hey, are you really the president of Esthar?” Kerril asked. Laguna grinned even more and put one hand in his pocket.

“Not only am I the president,” he said. “I am also the King of Triple Triad.” He then pulled out a deck of cards out and held them in front of him triumphantly.

“So, who here is brave enough to challenge the king?” Laguna asked. “Step right up and name your rules.”

“Ha, I’ll take you on,” Nevin said, stepping forward. “Winner takes all for trading. And as for playing rules, we’ll go with Open, Plus and Same.”

“Fine by me,” Laguna said as he guided the boys to an empty table. “But just don’t come crying to me when you lose all your cards.”

Laguna sat down in a chair across from Nevin, and the rest of the boys huddled around to watch them play. Soon both he and Nevin became quite animated as the game went on, and Squall shook his head in amazement.

‘ _He’s supposed to be meeting with important people from the world’s governments. And here he is, playing a card game with a bunch of children. What is he thinking?’_

“Hey, no fair, you didn’t say that you were that good.”

“Hey, I didn’t get the title of King of Cards for nothing, you know. Want to try your luck to get them back?”

Squall continued to watch and did not turn his head when he heard Kiros and Ward walk up behind him.

“….”

“You’re right,” Kiros said. “That’s completely it.” Squall shifted to face them.

“What is it?” he asked. Kiros and Ward smiled and nodded toward Laguna and the group of boys.

“Ward was saying that the reason Laguna is so good with kids is because he operates at their level,” Kiros said with a chuckle. “He’s always been like that. At least, ever since we’ve known him.” Squall glanced over at Laguna, who was laughing boisterously over another victorious game.

“He should learn to grow up,” Squall muttered. Kiros laughed again and Ward shook his head.

“Yeah, but don’t count on him doing that any time soon,” he said. “I think a part of him will always be this big kid, no matter what. But that’s Laguna Loire for you. Come on Ward, I think I see one of the ministers of Dollet heading our way. We better be available to greet him seeing as how the president is busy at the moment.”  

The two of them walked away, and Squall caught a glimpse of Quistis and Selphie in the crowd following them so they could continue to observe them. Squall then went back to keeping watch over Laguna, who was still grinning during his latest game. Squall also noted, however, that all of the boys, even the ones who were losing their cards, were laughing and smiling too.

“No way, you shouldn’t be able to win a game like this with four Buel cards.”

“That just shows you how skilled I am. After all, the people of Esthar didn’t make me the president for nothing. Now, who’s next?”

Squall continued to watch the scene in front of him, and he noted that Laguna seemed to be genuinely happy to spend time being silly and playing games with these children. At that moment, Kiros’ words echoed in his head.

“ _…the reason Laguna is so good with kids is because he operates at their level….”_

‘ _Ellone mentioned something about that too. About how kind Laguna was to her as a child and how he was always playful with her,’_ Squall thought. ‘ _Like a big kid, but also sort of like a parent. I suppose that is why Sis still loves him so much.’_

_‘Did…did Raine like that about him too? Did she think he’d be a good father? Is that why she married him?’_

_‘Would he have been that way with me?’_

Squall snatched a glass from a nearby tray, but was too lost in thought to actually drink its contents. He remembered how, even as a child, he was always quiet and reserved. When they were together at the orphanage, Ellone would giggle and call him a “little old man” because he was often so serious and thoughtful. After she left, those traits became even more pronounced and evolved into a cold sullenness that was shaded with impassiveness.

Squall felt something inside of him twist slightly as he took a sip of his drink. He was certain that he would have never been as carefree and outgoing as the kids gathered around Laguna appeared to be, even if he hadn’t had the lonely, difficult childhood that he did. He then wondered if someone like Laguna, someone who was always looking to have fun, who seemed to have boundless energy, and who made an adventure out of life would have been happy with a child who was not much like that at all. A child who lived so much of his life within his own mind and who would have never been referred to as normal, cheerful, or gregarious.

   _‘Laguna…he doesn’t know me. He doesn’t know me at all. He keeps making this big deal out of the fact that he is my father, acting nervous and trying to find the right things to say, as if some magic combination of words would make everything better. But why? Why is he going to all this trouble when he doesn’t even know me? Just because I happen to be related to him? Doesn’t he ever think that maybe it won’t work out between us no matter what he does?’_

_‘Doesn’t he ever worry that he’ll be disappointed? With this whole fatherhood thing? With us?’_

_‘With me?’_

Squall closed his fingers tighter around his drink, a hairline crack appearing in the delicate crystal. He had always hated the side of him that was so concerned about what others thought of him, and he hated the idea that he was worried about what Laguna thought of him even more.   

‘ _This is stupid,’_ he told himself. ‘ _The past is the past. Why should I worry about how Laguna might have acted if he had raised me back then? It doesn’t change anything. And why should I care how he reacts now? If things don’t work out with him….well that doesn’t change anything either. I grew up without any parents and did just fine. My life will go on and so will his. It doesn’t matter either way.’_

“Aw man, we give, there’s no way we can beat you,” Brencis said, standing up after his failed match. Laguna stood up and placed his hands on his hips again.

“Well guys, it’s been fun and you all put forth a valiant effort,” he grinned. “So the King has decided to show amnesty. Here’s everyone’s cards back. Aaaaand just because I know you guys are going to put on a great show tonight, I added a little something extra to each of your sets of cards.”

“Wow, Ultima Weapon,” Nevin said. “This is a level seven card.”

“Hey, I got one too,” Brencis said. “I got a Red Giant…Hey, thanks mister.”

“No problem,” Laguna said with a wave of his hand. “I’ll see you guys later tonight at the ball.” The boys all waved at him and ran off while Squall finished his drink and took a deep breath.

‘ _I need to stop thinking about stuff like this,’_ he told himself. ‘ _I’m here to fulfill a SeeD contract, not have some kind of family reunion. I have enough to deal with making sure that Laguna actually pays attention so I can keep him from getting killed.’_

Laguna looked over at him, a smile still lighting up his face. He walked over and held up his deck of cards.

“What do you say, Squall?” he asked. “Would you like a game? I mean, ah, do you play too?”

“This isn’t really the time for that right now,” Squall sighed. “Besides, I thought you wanted to go out for a drink later.” A touch of the cheer in Laguna’s eyes dimmed as he shrugged and shoved the deck back in his pocket.

“I suppose I did, didn’t I?” he said. “But hey, maybe when we get back to the hotel, we could do both. It’s not like we’ll have much else to do, right? Please? Ward doesn’t really like the game, and I’m getting tired of always having to challenge Kiros.”

“Maybe, if there’s time,” Squall relented with a sigh. Laguna beamed at him again and looked like he was about to say something else when he looked at a point behind Squall, his eyes lighting up with recognition.

“Elle! What are you doing here?” he said. Squall whirled around to see Ellone standing behind him.

“Hello Uncle Laguna, Squall,” she said with a smile. “I’m so glad you’re both here.”

‘ _Sis….’_

 


	5. Chapter 5

Ellone smiled and held out her arms as Laguna rushed over to embrace her.

After Ultimecia’s defeat, Ellone told Laguna that she wanted some time alone to travel. At first, he was reluctant to let her go out on her own, but after reassurances that she would be discreet and keep her identity a secret, Laguna gave her his blessing and the financial means to discover the world for herself, without having to worry about sorceresses or anyone else wanting to take advantage of her abilities. She ended up traveling for months, and the only contacts she made were biweekly messages to Laguna to let him know how she was doing and quick notes to Balamb Garden so that Squall and his friends would know that she was safe.

Despite all of these messages, however, Ellone never told anyone where she was at the time or where she was going next, preferring to keep her destinations a secret. As a result, Laguna had not known where she was for a while and was shocked to see her here.

“Elle, how are you?” Laguna asked as he let her go. “You look great.”

“I’m good, thanks Uncle Laguna,” she laughed. “And I see you haven’t changed: attending a function like this in that outfit.” Laguna grinned and put a hand to the back of his head.

“Yeah well, I just can’t get into wearing suits all the time,” he said. “And honestly, Kiros and Ward can pull off those Esthar robes, but I can’t. I look like a float in a fantasy parade. But Elle, what made you come here?”

“I’m here to bring flowers from Winhill,” Ellone said. “I’ve spend the last couple of months helping the florists there with their flower displays, and they liked my work so much, they asked me to come here with a selection of them to this cultural conference to display them.” Laguna’s smile grew wistful, and he stroked the top of her head.

“It figures that you’re so good with flowers,” he said. “Raine was always telling me that you liked to watch her work, and that you would try to help her as much as you could.”

“I remember,” Ellone said. “I also remember you trying to pitch in one time and breaking a whole stack of flower pots when you tried to show off.”

“Yeah, she didn’t let me forget that one for a while,” Laguna said. “I had to make my world-famous Galbadian Griddle Cakes in order to get her to let it go.”

“Let me tell you a little secret,” Ellone said. “Raine was often looking for a reason to get you to make those cakes. She loved them so much. But even more than that, she loved to watch you make them.”

“Watch me make them?” Laguna repeated. “But why? It’s not like I stood on my head or something while I cooked them.”

 “Yes, I know,” Ellone replied. “But Raine…she said that she just loved the look in your eyes while you made them. She said that when you did stuff like that, you had this sparkle in your eyes, warm and gentle. It was as if doing little things like that for her made you glow inside. And she loved that, she loved how you made her feel cherished.”

Laguna smiled, but did not say anything. Ellone’s words brought back a series of memories that were sweet and sad in equal measure, and he was afraid that his emotions would overwhelm him if he tried to speak. A poignant look passed over Ellone’s features for a brief moment before her smile returned and she reached for his hand.

“But just as important as that was the fact that they were really good,” she added. “Raine and I both agreed that it was one of the few edible meals you knew how to make.” Laguna managed to laugh at that and took a deep breath before squeezing her hand.

“Elle, that’s harsh,” he said. “Now you’re starting to sound like Kiros and Ward, and that’s the last thing you need. So, how about you tell me more about what you have been doing these last couple of months and leave the lame jokes to them.”

Ellone smiled and laughed a little as Laguna walked with her toward the buffet table.

* * *

 

Meanwhile, Squall remained a short distance away, watching Ellone and Laguna catch up with each other while also keeping watch over the crowd.

While he was happy to see Ellone again and had many things he wanted to talk to her about, Squall couldn’t help but think about one thing that had been on his mind for months now: the fact that she knew that Laguna Loire was his father and chose not to tell him.

 He had tried to reason that perhaps her motive for not saying anything was similar to what Irvine had expressed when he confessed to remembering all of them from the moment they met: that she didn’t know what to make of the fact that he didn’t seem to remember her at all. But that explanation never satisfied Squall and he had quickly brushed it aside. He then considered the idea that Ellone was so focused on trying to change the past and prevent Edea, Adel or any other sorceress from using her powers for their destructive ends that she simply did not think to tell him the truth. That idea was a little less disquieting, but it still did not quell the feelings he had over her decision to conceal the truth.

Squall leaned against a pillar a couple feet away from Ellone and Laguna. He didn’t want to be angry at Ellone, his Sis, his only family growing up, but his heart kept demanding answers.

‘ _Why? Why do these people who claim to care about me, who say that they are my family and my friends keep hiding things from me? What gives them the right to decide what I should and shouldn’t know? Don’t I have any say in how my own life plays out?’_

Squall looked up when he heard Laguna and Ellone laugh together. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but it was obvious that they were thrilled to see each other. He recalled how he had accused Laguna of abandoning Ellone, and he mulled over that idea as he watched them interact.

‘ _I guess Sis doesn’t think Laguna forgot about her. That or she’s forgiven him.’_

‘ _Will I ever be able to do that_?’

Suddenly, he saw Ellone pat Laguna’s arm a couple times and wave goodbye before walking over to him.

“Squall…I need to talk to you,” she said.

“I’d like to, but I can’t right now,” Squall said turning his face away. “I’m working.”

“I know,” Ellone said. “Uncle Laguna told me that you were hired to protect him. But Squall I…”

“Yo, Squall,” a voice from behind them called out. Squall and Ellone turned to see Zell walking toward them with a plate stacked high with appetizers.

“I just checked in with the guards outside and everything seems ok,” he said. “Oh and Rinoa wanted me to tell you that she caught up with her father and that she plans on spending the night at his place after the ball tonight.”

“All right,” Squall nodded. Zell grinned and was about to pop another morsel of food into his mouth when he finally noticed Ellone standing nearby.

“Hey Ellone,” he said. “What’s up? When did you get here? Uh, I mean it’s great to see you.”

“It’s great to see you again too, Zell,” Ellone laughed. “Say, could you do me a huge favor? I need to discuss something with Squall in private, but he says he’s watching Uncle Laguna right now.”

“I get it,” Zell said with a dramatic wink. “Squall, I can take over guarding Laguna for a while so you can talk to Ellone. No problem.”

Squall sighed and put a hand to his face. He wanted to say no, but he also knew that there was no good reason to do so.

“Whatever. Fine,” he said. “I’ll meet you back here in a few minutes. Just make sure that Laguna doesn’t wander off by himself again.”

“Will do,” Zell replied with a flourish of his hand. Squall then started to walk off with Ellone and as he did, he heard Laguna meet up with Zell.

“Hey, Zell, do you play Triple Triad?”

“Um, yeah, a little.”

“Good, how about a game?”

“Sure, why not? There’s nothing else going on anyway.”

Squall couldn’t stop from smirking as he left the main hall. He had played cards with Zell a couple times, and he was certain that Laguna was going to crush him even more than he had those boys from earlier.

‘ _Hope you didn’t bring any cards you were wanting to keep, Zell,’_ Squall told him silently.

* * *

 

Ellone and Squall ended up walking for several minutes while they searched for a quiet area where they could talk. Along the way, Ellone told him about some of the places she had visited while Squall mainly listened. Eventually, they found a lounge area that was empty, and they sat down on a pair of couches opposite to each other.

“Uncle Laguna told me that he told you the truth,” she said.

“You mean about how he’s my father?” Squall replied. “Yeah, he told me. But what I want to know is….”

“Why I didn’t tell you?” Ellone finished for him. Squall nodded and crossed his arms over his chest. Ellone sighed and shook her head.

“I know this might not seem like much of an answer,” she said. “But I had suspected for a long time that no one had told Uncle Laguna that he had a son. When I was finally able to confirm my suspicions and I found out that he really had spent all those years not knowing, I honestly did not think it was my place to decide whether or not to tell you.”

“But you told him,” Squall said, with more vehemence in his voice than he had wanted. “Why did he deserve to know before me? Why couldn’t I have been the one to make this decision? What if he had decided to never say anything? Would you have gone along with that?”

“Squall, I am sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just…I knew that things would get complicated once you knew the truth, and I truly believed that it wasn’t up to me to bring that kind of complication into your life. I thought it should be a family decision.”

“Family?” Squall spluttered out. “I thought that was what we were.”

“Squall….”

“All that time,” he interrupted. “All that time we were together at the orphanage…you knew that I thought that my parents were dead and that I had no other relations. All I had was you. And yet, you didn’t tell me back then that my father was alive.”

“I won’t try to excuse what I did as a child,” Ellone said. “All I can say is that I wasn’t sure of much of anything at that point. Raine was gone and Uncle Laguna never showed up like he promised to after he got things settled in Esthar. I really did not know if he was all right or if maybe Adel had done something to him. It wasn’t until years later that I found out that he was alive and had become the president of Esthar. And by then I was on the ship and there was no way to reach him or you.”

Ellone reached over and placed a hand on Squall’s arm.

“Squall, I never wanted to leave you,” she said gently. “Please believe that. You were like a little brother to me, and I didn’t want to lose all the family I thought I had left in the world. But…I understand why Cid and Edea did what they did.”

Squall let out a huge gust of air and hung his head. Truthfully, he understood why Cid and Edea had acted the way that they did too. He agreed that it would have been dangerous for Ellone to remain at the orphanage and that it was better that no one knew where she was so as to make sure that no one could use her abilities for destructive ends.

“Sis,” he mumbled. “I’m sorry that I didn’t remember you before. I really did miss you.”

“I know,” Ellone said. “But don’t punish yourself for that Squall. Whether it’s side effects from the GF or just a need to put that experience behind you in order to stay sane, I understand why you had forgotten.”

Squall nodded and put his hand over hers and she responded by gripping his fingers tightly. It reminded him of when they were at the orphanage together and of lonely nights when they had clung to each other, both of them finding some comfort in the contact.

“Squall, there is something else I need to tell you,” she said. “About why I sent you into Laguna’s past.” Squall looked up at her, his expression quizzical.

“You said that you were trying to change the past,” he said.

“I was,” she said. “But there was more to it than that. It wasn’t until I realized that I couldn’t change the past that it occurred to me that I was also trying to change the present. Your present.”

“My present?” Squall echoed as he let go of her hand. Ellone nodded and wrapped her shawl around her shoulders before continuing.

“Squall, when I met you again…I could see that you had changed,” she said. “You were still the quiet, reserved boy I remember growing up with, but I could also see that you were distant, closed off from the world. You weren’t letting anyone in, and I could see in your eyes how terribly lonely you had become.”

Ellone took a deep breath and let her shawl drop down into her lap while brushing a strand of hair out of her face.

“I kept asking myself what I could do, and then I thought about my plan to change the past and about Uncle Laguna,” she said. “I remembered how much he loved and cared for me as a child and I was confident that he would be even more loving and caring with you, his son, if he had had the opportunity. I thought that he could help you and that he could make it so that you wouldn’t need to put up this wall that you had built around yourself.”

She paused, and Squall tried to think of something to say until she started speaking again.

  “You asked me once why I chose you, why I kept sending you into the past,” she added. “Part of the reason why I did was because I wanted you to have a chance to get to know him, to find out what kind of a person he was, that he still is. Even as I started to realize that I couldn’t change the past, I thought that if you could see things through his eyes, you would understand him better and that that would make it easier when you finally did get to know him as your father. That is why I made sure to keep sending you and only you into Uncle Laguna’s past.”

Squall looked down at the carpet. He was beginning to understand why Ellone had made the decisions that she did but one last thought continued to bother him.

“Sis,” he said his head still down. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Do what?”

“This whole thing with Laguna, I…” Squall swallowed hard, his throat dry and tight. “He might be my father by blood, but that’s all he is to me. He hasn’t been a part of my world for seventeen years, and yet both of you expect me to accept him as my father and act like those seventeen years don’t matter. Even if I could put all of that aside, I can’t relate to him, Sis. Can’t you see that? He doesn’t take anything seriously and it’s as if he totally oblivious to the world around him. It’s like he wants to be a kid forever and he refuses to learn to take responsibility. How am I supposed to get along with someone like that, let alone consider him a parent?” 

Squall stood up and turned to gaze at a window so he could watch the sun sink into the horizon.

“I know that you were trying to help,” he said. “But I don’t think this is going to work.” Ellone got up from her seat and walked over to stand behind him.

“Squall, please don’t say that,” she pleaded. “I know that Uncle Laguna isn’t perfect, but he is a very good man. And I am sure that he already loves you and would do anything for you.”

 _‘Loves me? He didn’t even know that I am his son until a few months ago and he’s only met me a couple times in his whole life,’_ Squall thought to himself. ‘ _How could he possibly feel that way?’_

“I know that it’s all too easy to see how different you two are and to let those differences keep you from connecting,” Ellone continued. “But I think if you were to spend more time with him and really try to get to know him, you’d realize that you aren’t so different after all and that there’s no reason for you to feel so far apart from him.”

‘ _Now she sounds like Rinoa,’_ he mused. ‘ _What is it that everyone keeps seeing that makes them think that Laguna and I are even remotely similar?’_ Squall ran a hand over his face before turning to face her again.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “I already promised someone else that I would give this a shot, and I intend to keep that promise.” Ellone beamed and put a hand on his forearm.

“Thank you, Squall,” she said. “For understanding.” Squall gave her a slight smile and reached over to pat her hand.

“Thank you, Sis,” he said. “For trying.”

* * *

 

On a balcony at the top floor a few miles away from the pavilion, Andreian watched the sun dip out of view and the sky dim.

He arrived a short while ago; unhappy that he wasn’t able to make it to Deling around the same time as Laguna and his party, but satisfied that he had managed to enter the city without anyone noticing him. He knew that Danior had made it here ahead of him and he eagerly awaited word on his progress on infiltrating the security at the conference.

‘ _I should have called him in from the start,’_ Andreian thought. ‘ _Instead of relying on those bumbling idiots working for me in Esthar. Well, at least they did their job with those other council members. With them out of the way for now, the government of Esthar is far less stable than it normally is. Loire leaving for this conference only enhances this volatility.’_

_‘All that’s needed is just the right spark to push them over the edge and into chaos.’_

A faint click resonated in the background, and Andreian smiled. He knew that Danior had arrived and thus wasn’t shocked when a tall, wiry man with dirty blond hair emerged from the shadows near the edge of the room behind him.

“I take it you’ve had no problems here in Deling?” Andreian asked. Danior strode out to stand beside him.

“None so far,” he said. “Esthar soldiers…All those years training in isolation, believing so much in their technological superiority…Many of them have become overconfident and soft. It was easy to dispose of two of them and replace them with my own men. And I have already placed listening devices into a select number of areas within the hotel.”

“Excellent,” Andreian said, smiling. “And the SeeDs?”

“I won’t lie,” Danior said. “They are bothersome, but we can handle them. Tell me, did your sources happen to mention a SeeD with a black hat and long auburn hair tied into a ponytail?”

“I believe they did,” Andreian replied. “Why?”

“Irvine Kinneas,” Danior said. “I thought as much.”

 “Does he mean something to you?” Andreian said.

“Let’s just say I’ve dealt with him before,” Danior said. “Thanks to him, I lost one of my best men during what should have been an easy job. I owe him one.”

“I’m sure I don’t need to remind you that our primary objective is eliminating Loire,” Andreian said with a grimace. Danior shook his head and grinned.

“Of course not,” he said. “You know perfectly well that I always put work before any personal matters. But now it looks like this job just got even more interesting.”

Danior walked away and headed for the door. He placed his hand on the doorknob, but stopped to look back at Andreian.

“I will give you a report by the end of the night,” he said. “And if all goes well, there is a chance we can take care of President Loire tomorrow afternoon.”

“Wonderful,” Andreian responded. “I look forward to your report.” Danior nodded and slipped out almost as quietly as he had entered. Once he was gone, Andreian went back to studying the sky.

‘ _All those neon lights are dimming the stars that are starting to come out. It’s almost like the night sky in Esthar._

Esthar. It had been years since Andreian had walked freely in the capital city where he had grown up. Back then, he and his father would visit the great blue lake nearby and talk about the future that was coming for both Esthar and the world.

“ _Just you wait, Andreian,”_ his father would tell him. _“We are entering a new era. An era where magic and technology will coincide and wipe away all the filth polluting this planet. An era where projects like Odine’s research and my inventions will help shape the future. And people like us will be knights in the sorceress’ court.”_

Andreian knew he would never forget the spark of hope and determination in his father’s eyes while he told him all of this. But much like how that beautiful lake was erased from existence, that spark in his father’s eyes evaporated away. Not much longer after that, his father was forced to forfeit his life, which took away all hope of it ever returning.

Andreian felt bile seep into his mouth as bitterness invaded his insides. Every time he started to remember his past, he was certain that he had moved past his rage, but every single time he was proven wrong when he felt that old anger stir in him once again. This time though, the anger quickly melted away as a sense of impending satisfaction calmed him.

Soon, he would have his revenge. All he needed to do now was wait.


	6. Chapter 6

While the sun set and a crisp twilight began to settle in, Squall paced around the pavilion. Mindful of his mission, he made sure to stay focused enough to be aware of his surroundings, to look for anything suspicious, and to be able to pose meaningful questions to the security guards posted around the place. He had spoken to the captain of the Esthar security force, and other than a brief lapse in their established patrolling routines, there had not been much to report. Despite these assurances, Squall decided to spend some time checking out the area himself, figuring that it was better to be sure than reassured.

It also gave him time to continue to mull over his conversation with Ellone.

Before she had left him to tend to the Winhill flower displays, she had clasped his hands and he promised her that he would talk to Laguna at some point this evening. But that promise seemed more and more problematic once Squall had had more time to think about it.

‘ _What am I supposed to talk to him about? I’m pretty sure that we have next to nothing in common for interests or work-related things. So what does that leave?’_

Squall scowled and stopped to lean against a wall. He had thought about asking Laguna about Raine, but he remembered how reluctant Laguna was to talk about her the first time he had asked and then how difficult it seemed for him to even mention her when Laguna revealed that he was his father. Even though he was genuinely curious to learn more about his mother, Squall wondered if Laguna would be willing to open up that part of his life again.

‘ _This is precisely why I avoid these kinds of things,’_ he said, putting a hand to his face. ‘ _Laguna is probably going to ask all kinds of questions about me that I won’t want to answer, and then he’ll make sure to dodge any questions I have about him, his background and about Raine.’_

_‘Why did I make that promise to Sis?’_

Squall took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes before resuming his pacing. He knew that he would have to go in eventually not only because it was his job to stay close to Laguna, but also because Rinoa was expecting at least one dance with him before the ball ended and she took off to spend some time at her father’s mansion.

‘ _I’ll do one last quick check of the perimeter and then I’ll head back to the hotel to change. Even with all that, I shouldn’t be more than a minute or two late.’_

“Shouldn’t you be at the party with your dad?”

Squall grimaced, but did not turn toward the direction of the voice.

“Don’t call him that,” he snapped. “And you should know that Selphie was looking for you earlier. I don’t think she was in a particularly good mood either because she asked me to inform you that she will be junctioning with Cactaur for the rest of the mission.” 

There was a long whistle, and Squall turned to see Irvine shaking his head and playing with the brim of his hat.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to touch a nerve,” Irvine said.  “I guess I kind of figured that part of this whole mission was about you and Laguna working things out.” Squall crossed his arms over his chest and looked downward.

“That’s his idea, not mine,” he said. “As far as I’m concerned this is just another SeeD contract. So let’s focus on our mission.”

“Hey, no problem,” Irvine shrugged. “I’ve been poking around the less-than-respectable areas of Deling and have heard some interesting things.”

“Like what?”

“When Quistis went over the files Kiros had about those other attempts, did she happen to find any reference to Danior?” Irvine asked him.

“Not that I am aware of,” Squall said. “Why? Who or what is Danior?”

“An assassin,” Irvine answered. “He’s known for taking on jobs that involve high-profile people. And despite the fact that his fees are exorbitant, there are a lot of people clamoring for his services because of his stellar success rate, the fact that he doesn’t ask questions and his willingness to work for anyone who will pay his fees.”

“Do you think that this Danior is the one responsible for these other incidents?” Squall asked.

“Nope,” Irvine said, tilting his hat forward on his head. “Trust me, if Danior was the one doing all that stuff in Esthar, those people would be dead, including, unfortunately, Laguna.”

“Then why bring him up?”

“Just a hunch,” Irvine said. “Local gossip says that Danior has been seen in Deling. Given how he tends to avoid more populated areas, I figured that there was a strong possibility that someone has paid for his services.”

“Someone who wanted to avoid the mistakes that others made in Esthar,” Squall nodded.

“Exactly,” Irvine said. “Squall, listen, Danior loves to be paid, but he also loves a challenge. There are few things a man like him would find more rewarding than being able to say that he was the one who took out the president of Esthar.”

“You seem to know a lot about him,” Squall said. Irvine frowned and bowed his head.

“Before I met you guys again, one of my early jobs involved keeping an eye on one of Vinzer Deling’s top advisors, who had received a few strongly worded threats,” he said. “We were traveling to Dollet when I happened to run into Danior, or more accurately, I ran into one of Danior’s men. It was close, but I managed to take care of him before anything could happen. We returned to Deling immediately after that, so Danior wasn’t able to get his chance.”

“You stopped him?” Squall said.

“No, I just stopped one of his men from getting him,” Irvine said. “I’m pretty sure that that train accident that killed that advisor about three months later was no accident at all. Danior caught up with him eventually. And I don’t think that he hasn’t forgotten about what I did in Dollet. Granted, I can’t say any of this for sure, and it could be simple paranoia on my part, but….”

  “No, let’s not take any chances,” Squall interrupted. “Tell me what you’ll need from us.”

“For now, let’s just stick to the plan, and I’ll continue working on things from my end,” Irvine said as he straightened his posture. “If it is Danior, it’d be better if he didn’t know that we are on to him.”

“Makes sense,” Squall said. “Be sure to keep me updated and to let me know immediately if the situation changes.”

“Will do,” Irvine said with another flick to the brim of his hat. “Hey, um, Squall.”

“What?”

“What you said earlier, about Selphie….do you think she was serious?” Irvine said. Squall smirked and turned away.

“You know Selphie better than the rest of us,” he said. “What do you think?”

“I think I better get back to work,” Irvine mumbled before ducking into a side alley. Squall smirked even more and started to head toward the rental car when he spotted Kiros and Ward standing near the garden area next to the pavilion. Curious, Squall walked over to them and as he did they turned to greet him.

“I figured that you two would be inside with Laguna,” he said.

“Laguna is in the middle of an impromptu conference with one of the ministers of Balamb,” Kiros said. “He won’t be joining the party for a few more minutes, so Ward and I decided to get some air before going to the ballroom with him.”

“Why aren’t you two with him for this meeting?” Squall asked. “Aren’t you his top advisors?”

“….”

“It’s like Ward just said,” Kiros replied. “Our official jobs are presidential advisors, but truthfully, that’s not exactly what we do. Oh sure, we do play a role in the day-to-day operations, but our main role is taking care of Laguna.”

“Taking care of him?” Squall responded. “He’s a grown man. In fact, he used to be a Galbadian soldier. Can’t he take care of himself?”

“….”

“Well yes, that goes without saying,” Kiros laughed as he glanced at Ward. “But I can see Squall’s point.” Kiros then cleared his throat, his expression becoming more serious.

“You have to understand the position Laguna is in,” he said. “Before he came along, there hadn’t been a truly unifying, stabilizing force within the Estharian government for years, unless you want to count Adel, and I don’t think any of us would.  After Adel was removed, a lot of people were scared that Esthar would fall into chaos due to endless rounds of political gaming to decide on a new president. I know that there were some doubts. I’ll admit, even Ward and I were a little skeptical. But as it turns out, Laguna was just what Esthar needed in that moment. They needed someone who the people could stand behind, and more importantly, they needed someone who was everything that Adel wasn’t: fair, honest, and compassionate.”

Kiros paused and crossed his arms while Ward nodded silently.

“It took a lot of work, but Laguna…he rose to the occasion,” he continued. “I know that’s a side to him that isn’t all that apparent most of the time, but Ward and I have been aware of it for many years. To be honest though, there was a time when we weren’t sure if Laguna would have the strength to continue on in his duties as president.” Squall was about to ask what he meant by that when a thought suddenly occurred to him.

“You mean because of Raine,” he said quietly. “Because of Raine and what happened to her.”

“Correct,” Kiros said, startled, but still composed. “It was during that time that Ward and I decided that Laguna needed to have people close to him who he could rely on and not just in a political sense either. Plus, we did consider the possibility that there might be people who were hoping to get Laguna’s job after Adel had been taken care of and who might see him as an obstacle.  So, we talked it over with Laguna, and he ended up appointing us as presidential advisors, when in reality, we’re bodyguards, assistants….”

“Babysitters,” Squall snorted.

“Lame, but not inaccurate,” Kiros smirked back.

“And Laguna actually agreed to this?” Squall asked.

“Not initially,” Kiros said. “He fought with us over this for quite a while. It wasn’t until we pointed out what might happen if the stability and unity he brought to Esthar were suddenly ripped away that he finally consented to our plan. But Ward and I aren’t foolish enough to believe that he is even remotely comfortable with this arrangement. We know that he doesn’t like the idea of us acting as a shield for him, even to this day. The fact remains, however, that Esthar still needs him to guide them into this next era of peace and cooperation with neighboring countries. That, along with plenty of other reasons, is why Ward and I have made sure to do whatever we could to protect and support Laguna.”

“I think I understand,” Squall said. “But why hire us?”

“Because not only are the stakes higher now, they come with a lot more complications,” Kiros answered. “Ward and I were able to take care of things while we were isolated in Esthar, but now with Laguna traveling, becoming an even more prominent public figure and starting to make certain unscrupulous types nervous…We were soldiers, but we did not get the kind of training you guys get as SeeDs. We needed people with the skills to keep Laguna safe in a situation like this.”

“That’s the reason you hired us in particular?” Squall said, narrowing his eyes.

“….”

“Ward said that we shouldn’t insult your intelligence and I agree,” Kiros added. “Hiring you was mostly Laguna’s idea, and I’m sure you can guess why he did it.”

“It wasn’t hard to figure out,” Squall said with a frown. Kiros nodded and became silent for several moments while sharing a few meaningful glances with Ward. Eventually, he took a deep breath and shook his head.

“Ward and I are aware that it’s not really our place to say anything in regards to the whole ‘family’ situation you have with Laguna,” he said.

‘ _But that isn’t going to stop you,’_ Squall thought to himself.

“I do think, however, that you need to know Laguna’s perspective on this,” Kiros said. “Please understand, Squall, that his asking you to take on this mission was not an attempt to manipulate you in some way. He simply wants to have a chance to get to know you. I remember the day Laguna told us that he had found out that he has a son, the look in his eyes…Ward and I recognized it, but it was something that had been missing ever since he had lost Raine. As nervous as he was and still is about the whole thing, I can honestly say that it had been a long time since I had seen so much excitement and joy in his eyes.”

Kiros took a step toward Squall and crossed his arms over his chest.

“I understand that you’re having to move past years of believing yourself to be an orphan,” he added. “But consider this: Laguna spent those same seventeen years believing that the woman he loved with his whole heart had died alone and that he had lost any chance he would ever have at having a family, something he had wanted more than anything.”

“Are you saying that I should forgive him just because he went through all that?” Squall retorted.

“I’m saying that you weren’t the only one who suffered and who thought that he was alone in the world,” Kiros said.

Squall looked away, unable to think of a response. A few seconds later, he heard Ward start to walk toward the building.

“….”

“You’re right,” Kiros nodded. “Laguna should be done by now, so we should get back inside. Squall, I hope that you will give what we told you some thought.”

Kiros and Ward then walked away, leaving Squall alone. Once they were gone, he clenched both of his hands into fists and kicked at the ground.

‘ _Seems like most everyone around here is concerned that I won’t give Laguna a chance or won’t think about how he feels.’_

_‘But no one seems concerned about what I think or feel. Doesn’t that matter too?’_

_‘When is someone going to have that kind of concern for me?’_

Squall frowned and started to pace around the grounds again. He didn’t like the idea of wanting others to worry about him or take care of him. Ever since he was a child, he had reminded himself over and over again how important it was to only worry about himself and to let others carry their own burdens.

But ever since he became a SeeD, reunited with his childhood friends, and met Rinoa, all of those imperatives that he had made sure to reinforce in his mind and heart had been challenged and he was forced to question what he had spent most of his life believing. It continued to be a major adjustment as Squall learned to open his heart to others, but Rinoa and his friends had given him the courage to continue to try.

He then thought about how even Laguna had challenged these long-held tenets with his speech about love and friendship right before Squall and his teammates went to fight Adel and Ultimecia, and Squall found himself confused again.

‘ _How can Laguna believe in that stuff anyway? Especially after everything Kiros says that he’s gone through. I’d think that he would know better than most people would about how dangerous it is to start believing in things like love, friendship, and to start relying on others.’_

_‘So why? Why does he do it? Why does he let himself believe in things that have brought him nothing but pain and misery and loneliness?’_

_‘Why is he so eager to risk going through all that again?’_

Squall shook his head in an attempt to clear his mind. He figured that there was no use in trying to understand the thought processes of Laguna Loire and decided that it would be better to focus on what he had just learned from Irvine.

‘ _If someone like that is after Laguna, then he is probably having us watched so he can adjust his strategy to take advantage of any weak points we might have in our security measures. I’m sure that we haven’t left a lot open, but it’s never good to get too overconfident. I should check around here again to see if we’ve missed something.’_

As he walked around the building, he glanced up at the sky and saw the stars beginning to shine. Squall thought again about Rinoa and how she was probably waiting for him right now, and he shook his head.

‘ _Sorry Rinoa. But in the field, the mission always comes first.’_

Squall let out a sigh. He was certain that she was going to be disappointed at how late he was going to be, but somehow he could sense that this time, she would understand.

* * *

 

Rinoa paced about the edge of the ballroom before stopping to stand near the stage where the band was setting up. She had changed from her usual attire into the soft, white dress she had worn the night she had met Squall, knowing that it was his favorite, and had hoped that they could spend some time together before she went to her father’s mansion.

Unfortunately, she was also aware of how busy Squall could get, and thus, she wasn’t completely surprised when he didn’t show up as people filed into the room.

‘ _He’s probably patrolling the grounds, looking for all the stuff others might have missed,’_ she told himself. ‘ _He might be starting to learn to rely on others, but that doesn’t mean he will blindly trust them to be as conscientious as him.’_

Rinoa let out a huff and shook her head. It wasn’t always easy to deal with Squall’s position and responsibilities as the SeeD commander of Balamb Garden or with his reticence, which she suspected would never go away completely, but she knew that he was continuing to try to change, and that meant a lot to her.

‘ _Besides, it’s different this time. This mission is not just another random SeeD contract. It’s his father who’s in danger. And even though he’ll deny it every step of the way, this has far more meaning for him than any other assignment possibly could.’_

Rinoa saw a group of boys walk onto the stage and check their instruments as they prepared to play the first waltz of the evening. Disappointment over being able to share a few dances with Squall morphed into regret that she might not be able talk to him and see how he was dealing with both the mission and with his own tangled thoughts and feelings. After an awkward and miraculously civil meeting with her own father earlier, she realized just how much she had asked of Squall to confront the situation with Laguna.

‘ _I know Squall will try. I know it because he promised me,’_ she thought. ‘ _But I hope it goes well. He missed out on so much, growing up without parents. And Laguna seems like a really great guy. Please let this all work out.’_

Numerous people suddenly stopped conversing and turned their attention to the entrance, and Rinoa craned her neck to see what they were looking at.

“Ladies and gentlemen, President Laguna Loire of Esthar.”

Applause broke out, and Rinoa watched as Laguna walked into the room, scratching at his head while trying to wave. He was clearly uncomfortable with the attention, and Rinoa covered her mouth to stifle her laughter.

‘ _I’m sure he gets this all the time, and yet he still gets embarrassed like that. It’s cute.’_

Laguna continued to smile and wave slightly as he ducked toward the side of the room. He was followed closely behind by Kiros and Ward, who were dressed in their formal Esthar attire, with Quistis and Zell trailing along the sides. Soon the arrival of another dignitary diverted the crowd’s attention, and Laguna was able to relax against one of the pillars while Kiros and Ward stood next to him and conversed. Quistis and Zell nodded at Rinoa before drifting into the crowd, and Rinoa smiled back before strolling straight over to Laguna.

“Hi,” she said, beaming at him. “You look great tonight.”

“Ah thanks,” Laguna said, tugging at the sleeves of his jacket. “I keep a few of these around for stuff like this. I don’t really know why they make me wear them.”

“Maybe so you’ll actually look the part of the president of Esthar once in a while,” Kiros smirked at him.

“Yeah, at least I don’t look like something out of a child’s fairy tale most of the time,” Laguna grumbled.     

Rinoa had to admit that it was a change from how she normally thought of Laguna. His hair was still pulled back in his usual ponytail with a few strands loose near his face, but his casual attire was replaced with a jet black suit with black shirt underneath. The stark color made his green eyes even more vivid and accentuated the youthful spark that continued to flicker in them.

“Oh and, um, you look really lovely too,” Laguna said to her. “But where’s Squall? I thought he would be your date tonight.”

“Looks like I got stood up,” Rinoa said. “SeeD business and all.”

“Oh,” Laguna replied, his smile fading. Rinoa could tell that Laguna was figuring that it was actually his fault that Squall couldn’t be there right now, and it saddened her to see the regret shadowing his eyes.

“Hey mister…I…I can’t believe you were for real.”

Laguna and Rinoa turned around to see Brencis and Parlan standing in front of them. Laguna grinned and put his hands on his hips.

“I told you,” he said triumphantly. “I really am the president. Guess that will teach you to doubt the King of Triple Triad.”

“Idiot,” Parlan said as he hit Brencis’ arm. “You can’t talk to a president that way. What if we get in trouble?” Laguna smiled again and waved his hand.

“Ah, don’t worry about it,” he said. “I’m just here to see you guys play tonight. That’s still on, isn’t it?”

“You bet,” Brencis said as he and Parlan grinned back at him.

“Good,” Laguna replied. “Then you should probably go get ready with the others. You’ll need to play your best tonight, but don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll be awesome.”

“We’ll do our best,” Brencis said. “Thanks. See ya.”

Brencis and Parlan ran off, and Rinoa giggled again.

“You know, you’re great at encouraging people,” she said. “You fired them up, just like you did us when we were getting ready to battle Ultimecia.”

“Thanks,” Laguna said sheepishly. “But I just try to speak from my heart. It’s nothing really.”

“I don’t think it’s nothing,” Rinoa insisted. “I think it’s very important. You know, that’s just like Squall. He doesn’t think he’s any good at talking to people as a leader, and the only thing he can think of to do is to try to find the words for what’s in his heart. It takes a lot of courage for him to do it, but when he does, people are inspired by him.”

Laguna smiled at her, and Rinoa sensed that he was touched by what she said.  Suddenly, the room became quiet and most of the people in the room joined hands with a partner to begin dancing. The first notes of a waltz filled the air, and Laguna looked toward the stage.

“They are good,” he said.

Rinoa nodded in agreement, and then a mischievous smile appeared on her face.

“Mr. President,” she said with a laugh. “Would you do the honor of dancing with the daughter of the head of the Galbadian Army?” Laguna immediately swiveled his head to stare at her.

“Huh?” Rinoa laughed again and grabbed his arm.

“Come on, let’s dance,” she said, dragging him toward the center of the ballroom.

“Um, ah, Rinoa,” Laguna stuttered. “I, uh, I can’t dance.”

“Oh, you’ll be fine,” she said. “Trust me.”

Rinoa marched over to a less populated area of the dance floor with Laguna stumbling close behind her. She turned him to face her, and he carefully placed a hand on her waist while locking his fingers with hers.

The two of them then began to dance. Or more accurately, Rinoa began to dance while Laguna desperately tried to follow along without stepping on her feet. A couple of failed attempts at this, along with more than one stumble later, the waltz mercifully ended, and Rinoa guided Laguna off to the side of the dance floor.

“Sorry about that,” Laguna said. “I hope that wasn’t too painful for you.”

“It’s ok, I’m sort of used to it,” she laughed. “And I guess I’ve discovered something else Squall inherited from you.”

“You mean, Squall is as bad as me?”

“Sometimes, he’s even worse.”

“That poor kid.”

There was another round of applause as Brencis and his friends bowed before leaving the stage. Soon, another group of musicians took the stage, and the lights in the ballroom dimmed slightly. Laguna looked like he was about to say something, but he stopped as soon as the first few notes were played in the next song, and Rinoa swiftly realized that the band was playing her mother’s song, _Eyes on Me_.

Rinoa looked over at Laguna and saw his eyes fill with an emotion somewhere between nostalgia and melancholy. She touched his shoulder, and he looked back at her, his lips parting slightly in surprise.

“Laguna?” Laguna stared at her for a few more seconds before closing his eyes and bowing his head.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “It’s just…For a moment there…It was like I was back with Julia. You remind me so much of her.”

Rinoa smiled and reached down to take one of his hands into both of hers.

“Thank you,” she said. “My mother…You really liked her, didn’t you?”

Laguna smiled, and Rinoa was dismayed to see how much sadness was behind that smile.

“I’m sorry,” he said again. Rinoa tilted her head, confused and was about to ask why he was apologizing when he suddenly bent down and gripped his leg.

“Arrgh!”

“Laguna, are you all right?”

“It’s ok. I’ll, I’ll just….Can we sit down or something?”

Rinoa slipped one of his arms over her shoulders and helped him over to a couch in a corner of the room. Laguna plopped down and rubbed his leg while Rinoa perched beside him. She remembered what Squall had told her about Laguna’s leg cramps and she hid another smile behind her palm.

“Feeling better now?” she asked him.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Laguna said. He massaged his calf for a few more seconds before stopping and taking a deep breath.

“Rinoa…What I felt about Julia…She was….I mean….”

Laguna gulped and looked down at the floor, his fingers clasped together.

“Squall probably told you about how I used to go see her play all the time, right here in Deling,” he continued. “Julia…she was so beautiful, and when she played, it was like you could actually hear what she was feeling in her music. Sometimes I would sit there and just let myself feel along with her. I kept wishing that I could tell her how I felt, seeing her and listening to her play, but I couldn’t.”

“But then, she came to you,” Rinoa said.

“Yeah, I guess Squall told you about that too,” Laguna said as he ran a hand through his hair. “We talked. Well I rambled on and she listened for the most part. But it felt so amazing. We really shared something, and I thought that maybe it could turn into something more.”

Laguna stopped and took a couple of shaky breaths, but Rinoa put her hand back on his shoulder, encouraging him to continue.

“I’ll never forget that night,” he said. “Or any of the things she said to me. But it wasn’t until that whole thing with me, Kiros and Ward stumbling into Lunatic Pandora, and me ending up injured and taken care of in Winhill that I realized what I had been missing in my life. I realized that I had just been drifting along looking for the next big adventure and hadn’t noticed the forest in the trees. Maybe I could have had something more with Julia, but…I don’t know if it would have been the right kind of thing. I don’t think I was ready for it. Does that make any sense?”

“I think so,” Rinoa said. “You were still trying to figure out where you belonged.”

“Yeah, that’s it,” he said. “Rinoa, I, I don’t want you to think that I didn’t care about Julia. I did. I swear I did.” Rinoa squeezed his shoulder and smiled at him.

“But it was Raine who helped you find where you belong,” she said. “It’s all right, Laguna. I understand. Ellone didn’t send me into your past like she did Squall, but based on what he told me, I can tell that you really loved Raine. And that you still do.”

Laguna nodded and looked away. Rinoa sensed that she had prodded a little too close to his heart and tried to think of something to say to change the mood. A few seconds later, inspiration struck her.

“Oh and hey, don’t feel like you have to apologize to me,” she said. “Everything turned out ok in the end, right? I mean think about it: Squall and I wouldn’t be here today if things hadn’t gone the way they did.”

“I suppose not,” Laguna said with a weak laugh as he turned his gaze back toward her. Rinoa nodded and patted his shoulder.

“Laguna, thank you,” she said. “For what you said and for sharing all of this with me. And now, let me tell you something. I know that it hasn’t been easy between you and Squall, but you should know that he is taking this mission very seriously.”

“I’m sure he takes every mission seriously,” Laguna chuckled.

“Well yeah, you aren’t wrong about that,” Rinoa laughed back.

“Rinoa, I appreciate what you’re trying to do,” Laguna said. “But I…I don’t think Squall likes me very much.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Rinoa assured him. “Honestly, I don’t think he liked me very much either when we first met. Or at the very least, he didn’t know how to feel about me. I’m sure that’s how it is for you too. He just needs some time. You have to understand that it’s hard for him to open his heart to let people in because he’s so afraid of losing them and of being alone. But I’m positive that, once he gets to know you and has a chance to sort out how he feels, things will be different. You’ll see.”

“Thank you,” he said. “I….”

“There you are, Sir Laguna.”

 Both Rinoa and Laguna looked up to see Selphie standing in front of them. She had on a long, sleeveless, canary-yellow dress with a slit along one leg, and her arms were crossed over her chest in a gesture of frustration despite the smile on her face.

“Selphie, you look lovely,” Laguna spluttered out. Selphie grinned even more and opened up her arms.

“You like it?” she said as she swayed back and forth with her arms held outward. “A friend of mine from Trabia Garden told me about her cousin in Balamb who is a dressmaker. She actually made this just for me.”

“It does look great on you, Selphie,” Rinoa said.

“Thanks,” Selphie said. “Say, Sir Laguna, would you dance with me? Please? I was supposed to have a dance partner tonight, but the big jerk didn’t show up. Please, just one dance?”

“Ah, I’d love to,” Laguna said, a bead of sweat appearing on his brow. “But I’m afraid that I’m not….”

“No problem,” Selphie interrupted as she grabbed Laguna by the arm and pulled him to his feet. “I can teach you. Just follow me.”

Rinoa wrapped an arm around her stomach and laughed as she watched Selphie yank Laguna toward the dance floor. Her laughter continued as Selphie proceeded with her lesson.

“Whoa, careful. You almost knocked that woman over.”

“Selphie, maybe this isn’t such a….”

“Don’t be silly. This is a great idea. By the end of the night, you’ll be the best dancer here.”

Rinoa laughed for a moment more before finally getting a hold of herself. She stood up from the couch and started to look for something to drink when she felt a familiar presence behind her, causing her to smile.

“You’re late,” she chided. Warm hands cupped her shoulders, and Rinoa turned around to see Squall standing behind her in his SeeD dress uniform.

“Sorry, had to do some additional checking in with the Esthar guards,” he said. “How are things in here?”

“See for yourself,” Rinoa said, nodding toward the dance floor. Squall looked over her shoulder and blinked hard.

“Sir Laguna? Are you all right? I’m sorry, I thought you were ready for dips.”

“It’s ok. I…I think my foot must have slipped. I’m fine.”

“Does Selphie actually think that she’s going to be able to teach Laguna to dance?” Squall asked.

“I don’t know about that,” Rinoa answered. “But I am pretty sure that she’s going to give it her best shot.”

“Sad,” Squall muttered. Rinoa laughed again and put her arm around his waist. Squall responded by putting an arm around her and pulling her close. She was pretty sure that he wouldn’t ask her to dance, but at this moment, she found that she couldn’t care less.


	7. Chapter 7

Irvine slouched down against a corner of the roof he was standing on, confident that he had finally lost the person trailing him.

Minutes after he had finished talking to Squall, he sensed that there was someone following him. It wasn’t a sure thing, but Irvine knew better than to dismiss his gut feeling. He had tried ducking into various bars and clubs and mingling with the women there, but he couldn’t shake the anonymous shadow that never seemed too far away. Eventually, he decided that it was time to stop being subtle and started going to greater lengths to get away from his pursuer.

‘ _Must not be one of their best guys,’_ Irvine thought to himself with a smirk. ‘ _Not if I can get away from him that easily.’_

Instead of going back out into the city streets, Irvine decided to pause and take in this view of the city. In his current location, he could see the pavilion where the conference was being held and most of the grounds surrounding it. From what he could tell, the building was completely secure, but a part of him was convinced that that wasn’t what he should focus on.

‘ _It’s easy to look to the outside. But Danior doesn’t always go for the easy way.’_

Irvine frowned and pulled out his rifle. He tried aiming it at various points and was soon convinced that the area in front of the pavilion actually did not offer many opportunities for a sniper.

‘ _No, he’s probably going to be thinking about the inside. And if he’s going in, he’ll need help. We better keep an eye on the staff and delivery people from now on.’_

“So _there_ you are.”

Irvine gulped and swore under his breath. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts, he hadn’t noticed anyone sneaking up behind him. He tried to console himself with the fact that the person behind him was a highly trained SeeD, but the prospect of ten thousand needles of pain made it difficult to find any comfort in that.

“Selphie,” he said with a smile as he shoved his rifle away and turned toward her. “What a nice surprise. Is everything going ok with the mission?”

“Of course,” Selphie said, smiling a little too sweetly. “I had a great time at the ball. I got to wear my new dress and tons of guys asked to dance with me, including Sir Laguna.”

“Ah that’s great,” Irvine said, fiddling with his hat. “You wore that yellow dress? That’s too bad. I was hoping to see you in it first.”

“Maybe you would have had the opportunity if you had actually showed up,” Selphie said, her smile disappearing. “I hope Squall gave you my message.”

Irvine swallowed hard. This conversation was going downhill fast, and he frantically searched his mind for a way to salvage things.

 “So, how many clubs did you stop in tonight?” she asked him, taking a step forward.

“Only as many as I needed to get rid of my tail.”

“Huh?”

Irvine sighed and held out his hands toward her.

“I don’t know if Squall has had a chance to tell you yet, but we could be dealing with someone really dangerous,” he said. “He’s a big-time assassin who loves going after important targets. He’s going to be hard to beat.”

“And you know this because?” Selphie said, tapping her foot.

“Because I’ve dealt with him before,” Irvine said. “And I’m almost sure that he remembers me too.”

Irvine let his hands drop and he leaned back against the ledge. He watched Selphie’s expression change from angry and annoyed to thoughtful and concerned as realization sank in. She let her arms fall to her sides and walked over to him.

“How serious is this?” she asked. Irvine blinked in surprise at her tone. He suspected that she was not just talking about the threat to Laguna’s life.

“Pretty serious,” he said. “That’s why I can’t hang around you guys, and especially not Laguna, too much. I don’t want Danior thinking that he can take care of two birds with one stone.”

“Danior? Is that his name?” she said, her eyes lighting up with renewed bloodlust. “Well, if you know all this, what are we waiting for? Let’s go blow him up.”

“Hold on,” Irvine said, holding up his hands. “I haven’t actually seen Danior yet. Just a couple of his lackeys.”

“Then let’s grab one of them and make him talk,” Selphie replied. “And if he doesn’t, we’ll blow him up.”

“Wait, Selphie,” he said. “I’ve talked it over with Squall, and we decided that the best thing to do for now is to wait and let him make the first move.”

“Wait? Are you serious?” Selphie said, waving her hands about. “His first move could be a bullet aimed at Sir Laguna or at….Why in the world would you want to wait?”

“Because it’s the only way to ensure that we’ll get the chance to stop him,” Irvine said. “Look, I’m the one who came up with this idea, and even I don’t particularly like it. But going after him now without knowing for sure what his plan is will only delay his inevitable attempt on Laguna’s life and the most we’ll get out of it is a little more time for Laguna, and if we’re lucky, a shot at taking out a few of his subordinates. Trust me, this is our best option.”

“I guess so,” Selphie pouted. “But if he tries anything, I’m going to use a rocket launcher on him, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.” Irvine chose to laugh at that, even as it occurred to him that she probably wasn’t joking.

“Irvine.”

Irvine stopped chuckling, startled at Selphie’s quiet tone and at the way she slumped down and stared at the ground.

“Maybe we should ask Squall to have you do something else,” she said.

“Something else?” Irvine said. “Like what?”

“I don’t know,” Selphie said, shaking her head. “Maybe you could go back to Garden and run some stuff through the computers.”

“Quistis is doing that.”

“Or maybe you could go with Rinoa and make sure she’s ok at Caraway’s Mansion.”

“Rinoa will be fine. Danior’s not after her, and she told me that she’s working things out with her father.”

“Or I don’t know, maybe you could just stay in the kitchen and make sure that there aren’t any suspicious pastry deliveries,” she snapped at him.

“Selphie….” Irvine reached for her, but Selphie abruptly spun on her heel and walked a couple steps away from him.

“I get it,” she said. “You think I’m used to it by now. After what happened to Trabia Garden and all the people who didn’t….You think I’m used to losing people I care about and saying goodbye to them. That’s what we’re supposed to be able to do, right? Because we’re SeeDs and there’s always the chance that….”

Selphie took a breath as if she was going to say more, but instead she ended up quietly bowing her head. Irvine walked over and placed his hands onto her upper arms before slowly moving them toward her waist. At first, Selphie squirmed to escape his grasp, but by the time he laced his fingers over her stomach, she relaxed and leaned against him.

“Selphie,” he murmured in her ear. “We may be SeeDs, but that doesn’t mean that goodbyes should become any easier. Besides, there’s no need to dwell on that right now because I don’t plan on going anywhere…but I can’t walk away from this job either.”

“Why?” she whispered. Irvine let his head droop so his cheek could brush against her hair.

“Because this is about Laguna…and about Squall,” he said. “Selphie, listen, when I first met you guys again, I thought that maybe we couldn’t be friends like before. You guys didn’t remember me, and I had kind of gotten used to the way I had been living my life. And I know I gave Squall a lot of trouble, but…he tried. He tried to understand me. Maybe it’s because I had been a loner too after I left the orphanage and he could relate. I don’t know. But I do know that it made a huge difference to me, and I still feel like I owe him.”

Irvine squeezed Selphie against him, and at first she tensed up, but then her head fell back against his shoulder.

“And as far as Laguna goes, some of it is like Zell said about how we sort of fought with him, but there’s something more there for me too,” he continued. “I grew up with the Kinneas, but I was mostly raised by my dad because my mom died only a couple years after they adopted me. I know he missed his wife, but my dad, he was a great guy. He did his best and I grew up knowing that he would always be there for me. My dad…he passed away only a month after my sixteenth birthday, and I don’t think there’s been a single day since then when I haven’t thought of him.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Selphie said. “All those times I kept asking you when we were going to meet your parents….”

“I know, I should have told you,” he said with a sigh. “But I guess it’s just too hard for me to admit that he’s gone most of the time. It’s like I became an orphan all over again….And I just don’t want to see that happen again to a friend of mine. Maybe Squall can’t appreciate how lucky he is yet or maybe he’s not ready to have Laguna be a part of his life, but I do know how much it hurts to have the only family you have taken away from you. I don’t want Squall to learn about that again too, not like that. That’s why I need to do this. I can’t walk away knowing that I could have done something to save Laguna’s life and to give Squall a second chance at something so important.”

Irvine could feel Selphie’s breath start to hitch, and he frowned. Despite the seriousness and sincerity behind his words, he didn’t want any more of this somber mood.

“And besides, you should know about my professional pride by now,” he added with a chuckle. “I never walk away from a mission. And this guy, I’m sure he already thinks that he’s beaten me, and I can’t let him think that.”

“There you go again,” Selphie huffed. “Making this all about you. And by the way, I heard you use that ‘professional pride’ routine on that new library assistant just this last week.”

“What? How did you hear that? I thought you were still busy talking to Zell and his girl about….”

“I’ve got a bunch of skills that you’ll never know about,” she replied. “Don’t underestimate me, Irvine Kinneas.” Irvine laughed and playfully embraced her from behind again, causing Selphie to giggle with him.

“Underestimate you, Selphie Tilmitt?” Irvine said. “Never.”

* * *

 

Rinoa stared at her lap, wondering if there was any way she could sink into the carpet and disappear.

After spending one last short hour with Squall watching over Laguna at the ball, Rinoa went back to the hotel to change and headed off to Caraway’s mansion. The maid answered the door and had explained that her father had been delayed by “very important business” at the pavilion.

‘ _Of course he’s delayed,’_ she had thought to herself. ‘ _If he wasn’t, he couldn’t make me sit around and wait, and we can’t have that, now can we?’_

Rinoa had spent some time in her room and then had browsed through the library until Caraway showed up and apologized for his tardiness. The two of them shared a light supper and then went into the study to visit.

At first, there was mostly silence and then Caraway tried to fill in the empty space by telling her about the recent political maneuvers in the aftermath of Vinzer Deling’s death and Ultimecia’s brief control of Galbadia.

“…And, of course, there is Minister Desmonta, who looks like a very viable possibility for our new president,” he said. “Granted, he is not always as detail-oriented as he should be, but still, with the right advisors, he could….”

“Oh sure, sure, he could be a great leader,” Rinoa said with a yawn and wave of her hand. “And let me guess, you’d be one of those ideal advisors, right?”

“It’s important for any world leader to have a comprehensive perspective on his country’s state of affairs,” Caraway replied. “I happen to have something to offer in that area as the leader of Galbadia’s armed forces.”

“Uh-huh, and when are you going to ‘advise’ our next president to give Timber its independence back?” she asked him. “Or is that not in the best interests of Galbadia?”

“The Timber situation is being looked at,” Caraway said. “Given the current political climate, however, it’s unlikely that any action can be taken at this time.”

“How convenient,” Rinoa said, rolling her eyes. “Now, Galbadia can use ‘political instability’ as an excuse to keep Timber under its thumb.”

“No one is implying that there are not changes that need to occur,” Caraway said. “But the fact remains that Galbadia is going through a difficult transition right now, and it would be better to keep things as they are until we have the leadership needed to promote reform.”

“Just like how Galbadia ‘needed’ to absorb Timber to build up a force against Esthar, huh?” Rinoa said. “The excuse may be different these days, but the ultimate reason is still the same: Galbadia doesn’t want to give up one iota of its power, even if it means subjugating others like what they did to Timber.”

“Rinoa, there is no point in arguing over this with you,” Caraway said. “You have made your position quite clear.”

“And what about you?” Rinoa shot back. “You just keep repeating all the stuff the military feeds the public, but you never say what you actually think.”

“There is no place for my personal feelings in this matter.”

“Stop it. This isn’t about placating the public or staying in line with people like Vinzer Deling or whoever is running things now. This is about you and me. Just for once, tell me what you really think about all this.” Caraway stood up from the chair he was sitting in and leaned against his desk.

“My thoughts on this?” he said. “My thoughts are that it’s not sustainable for us to try to hold onto Timber. Esthar is no longer a threat with President Loire running things, and we would be better served concentrating our energy on building ourselves up from within, much like Esthar has done for these past seventeen years.”

“You mean…you actually agree with me?” Rinoa said. “With me and the Timber Owls and all the other resistance factions?”

“Does this surprise you so much?” Caraway replied. “Just because I am loyal to my duties to Galbadia does not mean that I agree with every decision our government makes.”

“Then why did you just go along with it?” Rinoa said. “Why didn’t you break away and help the resistance?”

“To what end?” Caraway frowned. “Do you honestly believe that if I had simply left that it would have made much of a difference to Galbadia or to Timber?” The general stood back up and walked over to stand in front of her.

“Rinoa, I know that you might not understand this, but sometimes a person has to work within the system in order to keep things from becoming even worse than they currently are,” he said. “I was fully aware that Vinzer Deling was a fool and a tyrant, but I was also aware of what could happen if Deling had no one around who could check his ill-conceived decisions. I could have walked away, like you suggested, but then Deling probably would have appointed a far more pliable and less principled man in my place, and the Galbadian military would have become his instrument to carry out every petty grudge that crossed his mind. But as long as I was in charge of our military, I could keep things from spiraling out of control. Granted, that did mean that I had to be a part of many personally distasteful campaigns, but I was also able to stop some even worse atrocities from happening, things that you and your resistance group could not have even dreamed of.”

Caraway stared at Rinoa for a moment more before turning away and walking over to the window.

“Feel free to hate me and the things I have done,” he said. “I know that makes it easier for you and for your comrades. But my loyalty remains with Galbadia and I still stand by my decisions.”

Rinoa stared at his back, stunned. Her father had never said so much to her in relation to his work, and she was confused about what she should think or feel in light of what he told her.

“Rinoa, I do ask that you answer one question for me,” he said. “Why are you here in Deling City right now?”

“Laguna…President Loire hired Garden to escort him to this conference,” she said. “Commander Leonhart was assigned to this mission and I am accompanying him.”

“You know how I feel about you staying with those SeeDs,” Caraway said. “You would be safer here with me.”

“Safer? How can you say that?” Rinoa scoffed. “You’re the head of the military and one of the most public figures in Galbadia. How long do you think it will take before someone figures out that I’m a sorceress?”

“We still don’t know for sure that there’s no way that we can….”

“No, stop it,” Rinoa interrupted. “I’m a sorceress now, so stop trying to deny it. And you know that if the military found out that they would either want me destroyed or would try to use my power for their own ends. Whereas in Balamb Garden, I can stay mostly anonymous and I’m constantly surrounded by elite mercenary soldiers. Face it, I’m much safer with my friends and with Squall.”

“I have no doubt that that young man is serious about protecting you,” Caraway said, glancing back at her. “I just hope you know what you are doing by choosing to stay with him.”

“I’ve never been surer of anything in my life,” Rinoa said, defiant. Caraway nodded went back to looking out the window.

“By the way, I did not know that you were so familiar with the president of Esthar,” he said. “Tell me, do you think that there is an ulterior reason for his friendliness with you?” Rinoa curled up her fingers tightly in frustration.

“Laguna Loire is a good man,” she retorted. Caraway shook his head and let out a short laugh.

“Forgive me, old habits and all,” he said. “Interestingly enough, your mother said the exact same thing.”

“Mother….? I….”

“Yes,” he continued. “I know about President Loire and his...association with Julia before I met her. I was married to her for several years, after all. There were few secrets between us.”

Rinoa put a hand over her mouth in an attempt to hide her shock. As this revelation sank in, however, she grew increasingly worried about how her father might feel about Laguna or how it might influence his actions from within his position in the Galbadian government.

“Don’t worry,” Caraway said, still facing the window. “Julia explained everything to me, and it did not diminish our happiness together in the least. And besides, I know now that there was never anything for me to fear. That wedding band on President Loire’s finger did not escape my notice.”

Rinoa lowered her eyes. Despite all the animosity she had held for her father for so long, a part of her was slightly ashamed that she had thought that he would lash out against Laguna over something like that.

Suddenly, she heard a sound from the window and looked over to see that her father had turned toward her.

“There is something that I think you and your friends need to know,” he said. “There has been a rumor circulating recently. Only a select few have heard it, and most do not believe it, but there have been whispers that President Loire is not a widower without a family after all. There has been talk of a long-lost son.  No one has discovered a name just yet, but some have speculated that the boy became a SeeD.”

Rinoa turned away, and Caraway moved closer to her.

“So…it’s true,” he said. “I thought so. I had suspected that there was more to Commander Leonhart from the moment I met him. Seeing him alongside President Loire earlier today confirmed my suspicions. I am surprised that no one else has made the connection.”

“Please,” Rinoa whispered hugging her arms close to her chest. “Please don’t tell anyone. There’s so much you don’t know. If you say anything now…you’ll only be hurting them. So please…for Mother…for me….” Caraway moved closer and Rinoa was startled when he placed a hand on her shoulder.

“It means that much to you?” he asked, his voice softer than she had heard from him in years. Rinoa turned toward him, tears brimming in her eyes, and nodded her head. Caraway reached up and touched her face, the fabric of his white gloves surprisingly warm.

“In that case, their secret is safe with me,” he said. “But they and you should know that, even if I remain silent, the truth is sure to come out at some point. It will only be a matter of time. And once that happens all of you will need to deal with any possible repercussions.”

“I understand,” Rinoa said, her voice watery. “It’s just…All I can tell you is that they both have suffered so much and they are just now getting a chance to be a family. I’m asking you…I’m begging you to let them have this chance.”

“Rinoa,” Caraway said, frowning as he moved his hand away. “I made sure that Julia never had to beg for anything, and you should know that the same applies to you. If this is what you want, know that I will do what I can to keep this quiet for as long as it is feasible.”

“Thank you,” she sniffed. She brushed her hand over her face while Caraway nodded and headed for the door.

“It’s late,” he said. “You should get some rest. It will be a busy day at the conference tomorrow.”

Caraway put his hand on the doorknob and started to walk out of the room when Rinoa cleared her throat.

“Father,” she said. Caraway paused in the doorway, but did not turn around.

“Maybe…maybe we could have breakfast tomorrow,” Rinoa said, clasping her hands behind her and making small circles with her foot. “Out in that patio area near the garden?”

“Of course,” Caraway said. “Julia always did love to eat there. I will instruct my staff to take care of it in the morning. Good night, Rinoa.”

Caraway walked out of the room, and Rinoa sank down onto the carpet. This had been the longest conversation she had had with her father in years and for a moment she thought that she was too drained to do anything other than curl up in her bed and sleep.

Thus, she was as surprised as anyone else would have been when she ended up crying for over an hour before going to her room.

* * *

 

Back at the hotel, Laguna drummed his fingers against the table in front of him.

After the ball, he tried to track down Squall to see if they had time for that drink once they got back to the hotel, but Squall had managed to disappear right before Quistis and Selphie escorted him, Ward, and Kiros back to the hotel. Laguna thought about going for a drink by himself, but the way that a few of the patrons milling around in the hotel lobby were looking at him told him that he probably wouldn’t be left alone for long.

Instead, he followed Quistis’ instructions to go to his room and quickly changed out of his suit into a grey tee shirt and some dark blue sleep pants. As an added security measure, Squall was sharing this room with him and would be sleeping in the bed closer to the window. Laguna figured that, eventually, Squall would show up to get some rest at the very least, and so it was just a matter of waiting.

Unfortunately, one thing that Laguna Loire had never been any good at was waiting. After changing his attire, he paced around the room, and when he grew bored of that, he tried reading one of the magazines he had had Zell buy him at the local newsstand. That managed to entertain him for less than an hour, however, and he soon resumed his pacing again.

‘ _Geez, I hate this. Deling is such an awesome city at night. There’s a ton of stuff I could be doing if I wasn’t stuck in this room.’_

Laguna sighed and sat down in a chair facing one of the windows. His mind drifted back to the ball, and he managed to smile. His ‘dancing lesson’ with Selphie had been more than a little embarrassing, but her patience and enthusiasm had made it fun. Plus, there was the talk he had had with Rinoa….

‘ _She’s so much like Julia, it’s unbelievable. I’m so glad that Squall has someone like her in his life.’_

_“…it’s hard for him to open his heart to let people in because he’s so afraid of losing them and of being alone….”_

Laguna thought again about what she had said about Squall and his stomach felt like it was twisting into knots.

‘ _Is that how Squall grew up? Always scared of losing the people he cared about and always alone? Didn’t he have anyone he could rely on when he was a kid?’_

_‘No…of course not. He grew up in an orphanage and then he spent the rest of his childhood at Garden. He never had a home to go to on holiday breaks or a family to spend time with in between his studies.’_

Laguna fidgeted in his chair, his hands beginning to shake. The more he thought about it, the closer he came to the awful truth he had been trying to avoid: that he was ultimately responsible for the childhood Squall had had and had played a major role in creating those layers of loneliness and isolation that plagued his son to this day.

‘ _How can I even begin to make up for something like that?’_ he asked himself. ‘ _What could I possibly say to him:_ “ _Oh hey, Squall, sorry that the first seventeen years of your life sucked so much. How about we just start from scratch?” Yeah, as if that could ever happen.’_

He looked down at his hands, his eyes drawn toward the ring on his left hand.

‘ _Raine…I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You gave me this precious gift, and I screwed everything up. What were you thinking, saying how I could be such a great father?’_

Laguna let out a sigh and slowly ran his hands through his hair. Even though he was still heartsick and at a loss as to what do to, he decided that it was better to not let himself brood.

‘ _Thinking about stuff like this too much always gets me in trouble. I gotta be strong and be here for Squall now. I mean, he’s really close to Rinoa, and she said that even they didn’t get along at first. So maybe it’s just a matter of learning to be his friend and going from there.’_

Laguna nearly jumped up from his chair and stared at the moon that hung full and pale in the sky.

‘ _First things first, I’ve got to get to know him better. Rinoa’s at her father’s house right now, so I can’t talk to her, and I have no idea where that Irvine guy is. So who should I talk to instead? Selphie? Zell? Quistis? Which one of his friends could give me something to work with?’_

“It’s not a good idea for you to be standing next to the window like that.”

Laguna jumped slightly and whirled around to see Squall standing in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Irvine said that these windows are not the best vantage points for a sniper, but that doesn’t mean that a professional couldn’t get lucky,” he continued as he walked over and pulled the curtain cord. “Try to keep them closed whenever you’re in this room.”

“Right,” Laguna nodded. “I’ll make sure to do that.”

Squall nodded as well and then reached for his duffel bag which was lying on the floor, mostly underneath his bed. He grabbed some clothes out of it and headed for the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Laguna sank back down into his chair and scratched his head.

‘ _I didn’t even hear him come in. Do they teach advanced sneaking up techniques at Garden or something? It’s like the kid never shuts that whole SeeD part of himself off.’_

A couple minutes later, Squall emerged, dressed in similar attire to Laguna’s with a black short sleeved shirt over black sweatpants.

“You should probably get some sleep,” Squall said as he sat down on his bed. “There’s going to be a lot happening tomorrow, and all of us will need you to stay alert.”

“Oh yeah, of course,” Laguna said. “But first um, could we….?”

“What is it?” Squall asked, raising an eyebrow. Laguna took a deep breath.

“How about a game?” he said.

“Laguna….”

“Oh come on,” Laguna said. “This is driving me crazy, not being able to go anywhere or do anything. I’m _so_ bored. I need to do something or I’ll never get any sleep tonight.”

 “All right, fine,” Squall said with a sigh. “Triple Triad then?”

“Sure,” Laguna grinned. “I’d love to add another victim to my tally. What rules?”

“One for trading,” Squall replied. “All of them except Open for playing.”

“All of them?” Laguna said, surprised. “Oh, ok then.”

Squall got up from the bed and dug out a sizable card deck from his bag while Laguna fetched his along with a small device shaped like a square box. They sat down at the table at the side of the room.

“You don’t have a playing mat?” Squall said as he started to get back up. “We can use mine.”

“Hold on,” Laguna grinned, holding up his hand. “That’s why I got this thing. Check it out.”

Laguna sat the tiny box on the edge of the table and pushed a button at the top of it. A series of light beams spread out over the table’s surface and crossed to form a grid. Squall leaned forward to examine it.

“Wow,” he breathed. Laguna grinned even more.

“Like it?” he said. “It’s the latest thing for gaming in Esthar. I saw a bunch of kids using one once while I was visiting the schools in the capital city, and Kiros bought me one the next day.”

“Knowing, of course, that you are still a kid yourself,” Squall said. Laguna blinked at the comment and was about to say something when he noticed a slight smirk on Squall’s lips.

‘ _Am I totally delusional or did he just make a joke?’_ he thought to himself. ‘ _It certainly sounded like something Kiros or Ward would say.’_

_‘Maybe this is progress.’_

“Yeah, well you’ll stop laughing when I do this,” Laguna said, hitting a red button on the side of the box. Squall watched as small, animated icons appeared on a couple of the squares near the edge of the playing grid.

“You said you wanted all the rules,” Laguna continued. “This grid not only randomly assigns elemental attributes to the squares, it process the cards in play. So all you have to do is lay the cards down, and the grid will project the resulting card victories.” Squall examined the laser-generated board for a minute more before looking up at Laguna’s smiling face.

“Ok, I’ll admit it,” Squall said. “It is pretty cool.”

“Glad you like it,” Laguna said. “Hey, if you want, I’ll get you one and send it to you. No problem.”

 “Thanks,” Squall shrugged. The two of them shuffled their card decks and sat them down on the table. Because the Random rule would be included too, each of them reached over and pulled out five cards from each other’s decks and placed them face-down in front of their owner. Laguna scooped up his cards and began to thumb through them.

‘ _All right! Looks like I got all good ones,’_ he mused gleefully. ‘ _There’s nothing here below Level Seven, Squall won’t know what….’_

Laguna’s inner celebration abruptly stopped when he reached the last card and saw Squall’s face staring back at him. Ever since Ellone gave it to him, Laguna had refused to use this card in a game, fearful that he could lose it. But he had also neglected to take it out of his deck partially because he enjoyed pulling it out and looking at it once in a while.

‘ _Dammit, I can’t lose this card,’_ Laguna said, gripping the cards tightly in his hands. ‘ _It’s the only picture I have of him. I have to make sure to win.’_

“Shall we see who’s going first?” Squall asked. Startled, Laguna looked up and nodded his head with a little too much vigor to be natural.

“Sure,” he said, pushing another button and watching a tiny yellow triangle spin back and forth between them. ‘ _If I go first, I’ll have to play all my cards. Squall will find out that I’m carrying a card of him. What would he think of that? Would he think it’s weird or creepy or…or what? Please don’t let me be first. Please, oh please, please….’_

The triangle stopped and pointed at Squall, and Laguna was not able to hide his elation.

“Yes!” he said, hopping in his chair.

“Whatever,” Squall said, rolling his eyes. He then put down his first card, Gilgamesh.

‘ _Hmmm, looks like he’s got good cards too,’_ Laguna thought. ‘ _Or maybe he’s just trying to make me think he does. And with those Same and Plus rules, you don’t always need the best cards. Hmmm, I need to be careful….’_

“You said you wanted to talk?”

Laguna nearly jumped again and looked up to see Squall staring at him.

“Huh?” he said. Squall let out a sigh and leaned back in his chair while glancing at his cards.

“Earlier you said that you wanted to either get a drink and talk or play a game and talk,” Squall said. “Do you still want to do that?”

“Yes, yes I do,” Laguna said, bolting upright in his chair. “So um, tell me about yourself.”

“’Tell me about yourself’?” Squall echoed. “Where exactly should I start?”

“Anywhere, anything,” Laguna said. “I know it sounds corny, but I want to know all about you. You’re my son, but it’s like you’re a stranger to me, and I don’t want that. I really don’t. So please, whatever you feel like telling me…whatever you’re comfortable with sharing, I’ll listen.”

Squall let out another sigh and flipped through the cards in his hands. At first, Laguna thought that he was going to remain impassive and silent, but then Squall sat up and put his elbows onto the edge of the table.

“All right,” he said. “Um, I went to Garden when I was five and they put me into their academic program right away. They kept saying I had ‘potential’ whatever that means….”

Squall continued to talk as they slowly continued to play. He talked about his studies and his training to become a SeeD. Laguna listened eagerly to every detail, but he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about how Squall sounded so…detached when talking about himself.

‘ _It’s like he’s reading from a manual or something,’_ Laguna pondered. ‘ _I know he’s supposed to be super-guarded, but still, it’s like he’s not really interested in stuff that actually happened to him. Or he doesn’t care…’_

_‘Does he…does he care so little about his own life?’_

That thought produced a tight, cold ball of worry inside Laguna. He hated to think that Squall held only a passing interest in himself, and Laguna wished that he could convey just how much he appreciated Squall telling him all this.

Squall put down another card, and Laguna shifted his focus back on the game. He smiled when he saw that the card in question had Selphie’s face on it.

‘ _He’s got cards of his friends. That’s great…and very cool. I wonder if they know about this or about how Squall feels about them. I mean, they are strong cards, but I don’t know…I think there’s another reason why he’s got cards like this….’_

“What about you?” Squall suddenly asked. Laguna slapped down another card and blinked in surprise.

“Me?”

“Yeah, I told you about me,” Squall said. “Are you going to do the same?”

“Oh sure, of course,” Laguna said. “Go ahead, ask me anything.”

“All right,” Squall said, fixing his gaze firmly at him. “Tell me about Raine. Tell me about…my mother.”

Laguna felt a vise grip his heart. It was unexpected, but not unreasonable. Of course he’d want to know about his mother. That’s a normal sort of thing for any child to want. And yet, as he tried to open his mouth to form words, Laguna felt his heart constrict even more painfully.

‘ _I have to do this. He took the first step with me. I can’t deny this request.’_

Laguna tried to force those ideas into his mind and heart, hoping they would drown all the hesitation and give him a release from the old wounds that never healed. But after several moments of silence, he was faced with one unavoidable fact: he wasn’t ready.

“I…I’m sorry, Squall,” he stammered out. “I can’t…Not right now. Maybe some other time.”

Laguna watched as Squall narrowed his eyes, the defenses rising again, and settle back into his chair. He knew that he had blown it, and Laguna wished that he could take it back, but he knew that there was no way that that could happen.

“You lose, Laguna,” Squall said.

‘ _What?’_

Squall sat down his last card, and Laguna watched in horror as a Plus combo was triggered. In a matter of seconds, most of the cards were flipped about, and Laguna realized that he had just lost the game.

“Line up your cards,” Squall told him. “I need to pick out one for trade.”

Laguna nodded mutely and carefully put all his cards in a row. He hesitated for one last second, but then placed his last card, the one with Squall on it, down at the end. Upon seeing it, Squall’s eyebrows shot up and his mouth opened slightly.

“Elle had a friend who made it for me,” Laguna said. “Well made it for her, actually, and she gave it to me...on the day that she told me about you and all.”

“It’s a strong card,” Squall said, his tone neutral.

“It is,” Laguna said. “It’s…it’s a great card.”

“Then I think I’ll take it,” Squall said, snatching it up.

“Sure,” Laguna said quietly. “It’s yours. After all…you won the game.”

Squall looked at him for one more moment before standing up and walking back to his bed.

“I’m tired,” he said as he sat down. “We really should get some sleep now.”

“All right, sure,” Laguna said. “Good night, Squall.”

“Good night,” Squall grunted before rolling over to his side toward the window. Laguna turned off all the lights and threw himself down on his bed. He yanked the sheets over his head and squeezed his eyes shut.

‘ _This is so hard. Is it ever going to get any easier?’_

_‘Or…is this how it’s going to be forever?’_

Laguna gasped as he tried to relax and slow down his breathing. He knew that Squall was right and that he should get some rest.

But Laguna was certain that sleep would not be awaiting him for most of the night.


	8. Chapter 8

“Laguna? Laguna, wake up.”

Laguna groaned and rolled over, refusing to open his eyes.

“Come on, Mom,” he mumbled drowsily. “Just five more minutes.”

“Just for that, you’re only getting five more seconds before I get the ice bucket.”

Laguna groaned again and yanked the sheets back over his head. It had taken a moment, but he finally recognized the voice nagging at him and it certainly was not his mother.

“Leave me alone, Kiros,” he said. “It’s too early.” Laguna tried to curl himself into a ball and shut out Kiros’ voice, but suddenly the sheets were pulled away from him. He flipped onto his back to see Kiros and Ward staring down at him with barely hidden amusement.

“It’s never too early for the president to get ready for his talk on Estharian tapestries,” Kiros said with far too much cheer.

“….”

“Very funny,” Laguna said, shooting Ward a dirty look. “You’re the one who picked out that topic.”

“Only because you fell asleep during all the other introduction lectures from the art academy representatives,” Kiros said. “’Tapestries, that sounds cool’. I distinctly remember you saying that.”

“All right, all right,” Laguna said as he sat up and stretched. “I’m up. Can’t I at least have a shower and a cup of coffee before I get started on that drudgery?” Both Kiros and Ward nodded and waved their hands at the bathroom door while Laguna got up and stretched again.

“Gee thanks,” he grumbled as he marched past them and entered the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

A few minutes later, after a shower and a shave, Laguna came out of the bathroom, shaking his hair. He was about to remind Kiros about the coffee when he saw Quistis, Squall, Kiros and Ward seated in a group, peering at laptop in the middle of the table.

“Oh hey, good morning, Squall, Quistis,” he said as he walked over to join them. “What’s up?”

“Quistis has been examining the files Kiros gave us about those attacks in Esthar,” Squall said. “We were just going over her findings.”

“Ok, cool,” Laguna said as he leaned against the couch nearby. “Anything come up?”

“Unfortunately, it looks like the Esthar authorities weren’t able to find any evidence at the scenes of the attacks on the other council members or from your lift accident.”

“Probably because they weren’t looking for anything,” Squall said.  “Especially if they thought that they were just random accidents.”

“That’s what I think too,” Quistis nodded. “But I did do some checking on the messages that were posted on those forums. They were very good at hiding their tracks, but I was able to trace a couple of them to a server in Dollet.”

“Dollet?” Laguna said. “Why would someone in Dollet want to post stuff on a public forum for government issues in Esthar?”

“I can’t answer that,” Quistis said, shrugging her shoulders. “But while it is not conclusive, I am almost positive that all the messages were put out by the same server that is also used by a small company that operates out of Dollet: Sloclum Incorporated. It appears to be a privately owned company that offers online support to businesses who need to keep their digital records secure.”

“Sloclum, hmmm,” Laguna said, putting his hand to his chin. “That name sounds familiar somehow.”

“Now that you mention it, it does,” Kiros said, frowning.

“….”

“Oh yeah, that’s right,” Laguna said, snapping his fingers.

“What is it?” Squall asked.

“Ward said that there was a Doctor Sloclum who used to work with Doctor Odine in Esthar,” Kiros explained. “I remember it now too. Doctor Eldridge Sloclum. He was Odine’s favorite colleague.”

“Favorite?” Quistis said.

“Yes,” Kiros nodded. “Not only was Sloclum brilliant, almost on par with Odine, but he cared even more about his research and even less about the rest of the world than Odine, even though I know that doesn’t seem possible.”

“Yeah, Sloclum had a lot of…what do you call it?” Laguna said. “Grand pianos of delusion.”

“You mean, delusions of grandeur?” Squall said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yeah, those,” Laguna said, a hard glint appearing in his green eyes.”He was actually happy with the way things were with Adel in charge. Kept saying that Adel was going to make him a member of her ‘court’. And he didn’t care how many people would end up suffering in the process. A real bastard.”

Both Squall and Quistis raised their eyebrows in surprise. They were accustomed to Laguna being energetic, playful and congenial, even within his position as the president of Esthar at all times, and it was a shock to see this other, darker side of him emerge.

“After Adel was defeated, Sloclum tried to gather up support to have her freed,” Kiros added. “The resistance found out about it, of course, and it was immediately stopped.”

“Could this Sloclum be the one behind these attacks?” Squall asked.

“No, not possible,” Laguna said, turning away from the rest of them.

“Why not?” Quistis said. “It sounds like he would have an excellent motive for revenge against you.”

“Laguna is right, it’s not possible,” Kiros said. “We captured, tried and then exiled the entire group, including Sloclum. Shortly afterwards, he was killed during an unsuccessful attempt to bomb the Lunar Base.”

“Do you know for sure that he was killed?” Squall asked. “If Sloclum was that intelligent and resourceful; he might have been able to get away without anyone knowing for sure if he was killed or not.”

 “No, it’s not him,” Kiros said, shaking his head.

“How can you be so sure?” Squall asked.

“Because I was the one who killed him,” Laguna said, his back still facing them.

“You?” Squall said. Laguna let out a short laugh and shook his head. He then moved over to stand near the edge of the window.

“Yeah, not what you expected to hear, right?” he said. “But, you know, I used to be a soldier.” Laguna ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath.

“We had heard rumors that Sloclum was still trying to get back into Esthar,” he continued. “But we didn’t know anything definite. So in between all those meetings and stuff where we were trying to figure out what to do with Esthar now that Adel was gone, I kept patrolling around all the outlying places like Tears Point and the Lunar Base. Just trying to see if I could figure out what he might do next. Anyway, I happened to run into him just as he was getting ready to activate a bomb in one of the service hallways of the Lunar Base.”

Laguna slumped against the wall, and Squall noted that his father’s hands were balling into fists.

“I tried to reason with him,” Laguna said. “Tried to get him to give up, tried to explain how useless this was, tried get him to understand why Adel couldn’t be allowed to remain on this planet, but he wouldn’t listen to any of it. He just kept going on and on about how important his research was and how people like me were the reason why Esthar lost its chance for greatness and supremacy and all that. Then he said that he was going to set the bomb off anyway, even though he knew that it wouldn’t stop Adel from being sent into space. He did not care at all that a bunch of people would get hurt or maybe even killed for absolutely no reason. So…I shot him before he could activate the bomb.”

“Ward and I showed up shortly thereafter,” Kiros said. “We found Laguna standing over Sloclum’s body and we confirmed that he was dead.”

“So you see, there’s no way that it’s him,” Laguna said. “There just isn’t.”

“What about his co-conspirators?” Quistis asked. “Or his family?”

“We kept tabs on them after they were exiled,” Kiros said. “All the people who were part of Sloclum’s faction have either died or are currently in prison for other crimes. As for Sloclum’s family, his wife and his son were killed in a car accident almost two years after his death.”

 “I see,” Quistis said. “I suppose it is just a coincidence then. And that means we have nothing.”

“No,” Squall frowned. “I don’t buy it. It’s still too much of a coincidence to not mean anything.”

“But Squall, you heard what Kiros said,” Quistis replied. “Everyone involved with that whole thing is either imprisoned or dead.”

“I know,” Squall said. “But something tells me that there is some kind of connection, something that might have been missed back then. Even though we’ll have to look into other leads, I still think we should check into this.”

“I don’t know what we’ll find, but I think you’re right,” Quistis said. “I’ll do some more checking on this after I process a couple of other leads I found.”

“Good, let’s get going,” Squall said as he and Quistis got up from the seats and headed for the door.

“Oh hey, wait, Squall,” Laguna said, turning around. “We’ve got a couple hours before I have to be at the conference. How about we get some breakfast or….”

“I already ate,” Squall said. “And I need to check over the building with Zell and Selphie before you go. I’ll come back later and meet you here when it’s time for you to leave.”

Squall and Quistis exited the room, and Laguna’s shoulders slumped down again.

“….”

“I agree,” Kiros nodded.

“Agree with what?” Laguna said.

“Ward said that you shouldn’t take things like that so hard,” Kiros said. “Squall is very dedicated to his work as a SeeD, and right now he’s on a mission. You’re not going to be able to spend leisurely time with him whenever you want.”

“I know, I know that,” Laguna sighed. “But it’s just…it’s so hard.” Laguna plopped down onto the couch and slouched into the cushions.

“Raine knew that I wanted to be a father,” he said quietly. “A couple nights after I had proposed to her, we went out to that one hill on the edge of town and watched the night sky together. We were sitting under the stars, talking, and she asked me if I was sure that I could be happy living a quiet life with her in Winhill. I kept telling her that there was nowhere else I’d rather be than with her and Elle, but she kept asking me if I was sure that there wasn’t something else that I wanted. So, I told her that the only other thing I wanted was a child of my own. Sure, Elle was like a daughter to me and she still is, but I…I don’t know, I just wanted to have a child with my wife too. I told her how what I really wanted a son, and I…I told her that if we could have a son together, there wouldn’t be anything else that I could possibly want.”

Kiros nodded and sat on the arm of the couch while Ward leaned against the wall nearby.

“You know Raine,” Laguna said with a wistful smile. “You know how whenever she made up her mind about something, she made it happen. She looked at me and told me that we would have a son. Just like that. No doubt in her mind. And you know, I believed her. I believed her because she promised me, because she….”

“Laguna….” Kiros said placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t you see? She kept her promise,” Laguna said. “She knew how much it meant to me, and so she…she…And I wasn’t even there for her. She gave me a son, something I had wished for so much, and yet, I let her die alone, even after I had promised her more than once that I would never leave her. And then, after everything she did for me, I didn’t even take care of our son, a son she sacrificed everything for to bring into this world.”

“You didn’t know,” Kiros reminded him. “Laguna, Ward and I know what kind of person you are, and we know that you would have never abandoned your son if you had known. Even though things did not happen the way they should have, you have to keep that in mind.”

“Maybe, but that doesn’t change the way things are now,” Laguna said. “It doesn’t change how Squall doesn’t want anything to do with me. I keep trying, but I never get anywhere….”

“You knew that it wasn’t going to happen overnight,” Kiros said. “It’s going to take time.”

“Again, I know,” Laguna said, frustration seeping into his tone. “But we’ve already lost so much time. All those years that he was growing and learning and becoming who he is today…I missed all of them. And I keep wondering how many more years am I going to have to miss because he won’t let me in.”

Laguna waved a hand and lowered his gaze to the floor.

“The thing is, though, I can’t really blame him,” Laguna mumbled. “I mean, I was absent for pretty much his whole life, so there’s no reason for him to feel any kind of attachment to me, right? And besides, I’m not the type of guy he’d even want to be around. He’s only eighteen years old, but he’s an elite SeeD. And not just a SeeD, but the commander of Balamb Garden too. He’s way smarter, tougher and faster than I ever was. To him, I’m just a silly ex-soldier who blundered his way through life and who just happened to become the president of Esthar. I’m sure it was a big disappointment for him, finding out that I’m his dad.”

“Laguna, stop that,” Kiros snapped at him. Kiros’ harsh tone made Laguna look up and he saw that Ward had moved to stand next to Kiros. Both of them were staring at him with stern expressions on their faces.

“Is that how you see yourself: as nothing more than an idiot to be indulged? Is that how you think we all see you?” Kiros said, narrowing his eyes at him. “Do you really believe that Ward and I would put ourselves through everything we did in order to stand by you if you were just some silly fool who fell into one situation after another? And do you actually think that Raine would have married you if that’s all there was to you just because you happened to show up in Winhill the way you did?”

“Enough, Kiros,” Laguna retorted.

“No, not enough,” Kiros shot back. “You need to hear this. The fact is, me, Ward, Raine, all of us, we did what we did because we believe in you, Laguna Loire. And the same goes for the people of Esthar. Or do you think they just let you remain president because you’re fun to have around? No, the reason you’re still their president, their leader, after all these years is because they believe in you too.”

Laguna shook his head and went back to staring at the floor. Kiros then moved to sit beside him, his expression softening.

“Ward and I know that there is no way we could ever understand what you’re going through right now,” he said. “But the fact is, even in the best of situations, parenthood is never easy. Sometimes things go badly, and sometimes, parents and children don’t get along. That’s life. The only thing you can do is continue to love your son and do the best you can at everything else. Maybe it won’t work out or maybe it will, but no matter what happens, at least you will have owned up to your responsibility as a father. You may not like it or want to hear it, but the rest of it is simply out of your hands.”

“….”

“And Ward said that you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and man up,” Kiros added. “And I, for one, agree with him.”

“Yeah, yeah I suppose you’re right,” Laguna said, running his hand through his hair. “Sorry. I’ve been kind of a pain, haven’t I?”

“No more than usual,” Kiros smirked at him.

“Ha ha very funny,” Laguna said. “Ah…I guess I should get started with work. But I could still use that coffee.

“Stay here. Ward and I will get it for you along with some breakfast,” Kiros said. “You just get to work on memorizing that outline I gave you.”

“Yeah, Estharian curtains,” Laguna grumbled. “Not nearly as exciting as it sounded before.”

“It’s _tapestries_ ,” Kiros said. “And don’t you dare make that mistake during your speech or else.”

“Yeah, I know, Ward will harpoon me or something, I get it,” Laguna said with a yawn. He proceeded to tie his hair back into a loose ponytail while Kiros and Ward stepped over to their room, motioning for a pair of Esthar guards to stay outside Laguna’s door. They then walked down to the lobby.

“….”

“Yeah,” Kiros said. “But you know as well as I do that he hasn’t been himself for a while now.”   

Ward nodded and they became silent as they walked down the hall. Over the past couple of years, they had noticed subtle changes in Laguna’s demeanor, even though Laguna made sure to hide it as much as possible. Despite his efforts though, both Ward and Kiros had witnessed an increasing number of times when Laguna was moody, distant and uncommunicative. They had tried a couple times to confront Laguna about it, but their concerns were always brushed aside by a sudden wave of forced cheer that would inevitably lead into an abrupt change of subject.

They arrived at the lobby and Ward studied a menu, checking off items that the three of them would want with a pencil so he could give their order to one of the staff, while Kiros watched the people around them. Kiros thought back to the day that Laguna had told them about Squall. Even though both he and Ward were shocked, they were genuinely happy that Laguna had found some family and hoped that it would be the start of a new direction in his life.

After moving to Esthar and Raine’s death, Laguna had lived a mostly solitary existence. Granted, he was often surrounded by people as part of his official duties and was friendly with them and his staff, but when it came to his personal life, Laguna did not allow anyone to get close to him other than Kiros and Ward. Thus, even though both Kiros and Ward had settled down and had begun to form their own families, Laguna continued to remain locked in his own world of wistful memories and dedication to his service of the people of Esthar. For many years, Laguna seemed content with living this way, but recently, Kiros and Ward began to think that all that time spent alone was finally catching up with him.

Ward turned in the menu, and Kiros nodded at him before heading to a small counter at the corner of the lobby for a large cup of coffee for Laguna.  It saddened both of them to see someone as warm-hearted and generous as Laguna shut himself away from the world, and they wished that there was something they could do to ease his troubled mind and heart. But even though Laguna still seemed to gain some solace from his closest friends, they knew that he needed something more to help him break free of this melancholy, and they had hoped that Squall would be the catalyst to make that happen.

‘ _We should have known that it wouldn’t be that easy,’_ Kiros thought as they headed back to Laguna’s room. ‘ _Family issues are always a little complicated and this one is even more so than most.’_

_‘Squall…he seems like a good person. Sure, he’s introverted, taciturn and often serious, the total opposite of Laguna really, but he seems to have a good, strong heart underneath it all, just like his father. If only he could try to move on from the past.’_

Kiros shook his head as he and Ward got closer to Laguna’s door. It occurred to him that a similar thing could be said about Laguna, and in that moment, he realized that, until Laguna was willing to let the past go and forgive himself for it, his wounded heart would never have a chance to heal.

‘ _And maybe, that’s true for both of them,’_ Kiros mused. ‘ _Maybe Squall needs this just as much as Laguna does. In some ways, they really are so much alike.’_

_‘I just wish the two of them could figure this out.’_

* * *

 

Five hours later, Laguna was wrapping up his discussion to multiple waves of applause. The talk had been well attended with many people being entertained by the president of Esthar teaching them about the “really cool rugs” that comprised traditional Estharian tapestry arts. While it was hard to say if the crowd was more amused by the subject matter or by Laguna’s unique delivery, it was impossible to deny that it had been a huge success.

After he was done, Laguna got off the stage and marched over to Ward and Kiros with a triumphant grin on his face.

“See, what did I tell you?” he said. “Piece of cookie.”

“It’s cake,” Kiros corrected him. “And since when did Esthar have ‘rolling white hills of silken gossamer that rhythmically dance in the moonlight the eve before harvesting’?”

“Ok, so maybe that’s not exactly what those scholars told me, but who cares?” Laguna huffed. “I got the spirit of the events right. You can’t say that those people aren’t dying to learn more about Esthar’s tapestries.”

“No, I suppose not,” Kiros said, shaking his head. “But I wonder what will happen when they actually pick up a book about the subject. It might not live up to the loftiness of your speech.”

“….”

“And Ward said that that collector back in Esthar is going to want to kill you if he finds out that you used one of his prized tapestries as a cape in the finale,” Kiros added.

“Well then, it’s your job to make sure that he doesn’t find out,” Laguna said with a wave of his hand. “I mean, that’s why you guys are my advisors, right?”

 Kiros and Ward shook their heads and followed Laguna while he looked for Squall and his team. After almost a minute of searching, Laguna discovered that Squall was standing in a corner of the room, talking to his friends while also keeping a close eye on his surroundings.

‘ _He never misses a thing,’_ Laguna thought to himself. ‘ _I bet that’s part of the reason why his friends made him the leader….I wonder if he watched my speech. He probably did since he’s the one who’s supposed to be guarding me specifically. Did he like it? Should I ask him? Maybe I should ask him to lunch. Elle said something about meeting today….’_

Thoughts continued to swirl in Laguna’s head as he watched Squall listen to his team give reports and hand out instructions. He agreed with Kiros and Ward that he needed to be more relaxed and proactive when dealing with Squall, but after talking with his friends that morning, Laguna began to realize that he had spent most of this time focused on his own feelings and desires. He then wondered if perhaps the real problem was that he was being selfish by trying so hard to force his way into his son’s life.

‘ _He’s got friends, someone he loves, and a productive, purposeful life as the leader of Balamb Garden,’_ he mused. ‘ _Does he really need to have a long-absent father thrown into all that? Maybe it would be best to just let him be. Sure, if he actually needed or wanted my support, I would be there, but maybe it’d be better for us to just be pleasant and civil to each other for the rest of this conference and then just go back to the way things were.’_

Laguna continue to watch Squall with a trace of a smile on his face, and he shook his head. Even though she wasn’t there, he was sure that Raine would be scolding him right about now if she could.

‘ _No, no, even if I have to keep my distance and wait around forever, I can’t give up on being his father. I’ll just have to keep trying, like Kiros said. Raine always did tell me that I was better off listening to my heart than my brain anyway, so I suppose I should just keep doing that.’_

Laguna took a deep breath and decided to go ask Squall if he wanted to get something to eat when a cry of surprise suddenly broke out in the middle of the room. Laguna whirled around and saw a man wielding a gunblade heading straight for him.

“Laguna!” Kiros shouted. “Look out!”

Less than a second after Kiros said this, Laguna jumped to the side and dodged the man just as he was about to strike. Many of the people in the crowd scrambled toward the exits, and even though Kiros and Ward fought against the crowd, they were blocked by the frantic tide. Laguna’s darted around, looking for a way out or a weapon, but he couldn’t find either.

“You,” the man said, waving his blade at him. “Get out of my way or I’ll give you the same thing I will give the rest of them. The people’s cry for liberation will be heard.”

The man raised his gunblade high, and Laguna crouched down into a defensive position, bracing himself for the attack. Before either of them could react however, Squall leapt between them, the blade of the Lionheart slicing through the air and down onto the assailant’s arm.  The man howled in pain and grabbed at his arm, but did not let go of his weapon. Squall then glanced back at Laguna.

“Laguna,” Squall yelled. “Get out of here while I take care of this guy.”

“Squall, watch out!”

Squall turned to face his opponent again, but the man managed to wildly swing his blade and graze Squall’s arm near his shoulder before Squall could dodge him. Squall grunted and staggered, but still managed to thrust upward and knock the gunblade out of the man’s hands while shoving him onto the floor.

“Don’t move,” Squall growled at him as he stood over the man and pointed his gunblade at the middle of his chest. The man ground his teeth, enraged, but he remained still. Seconds later, Zell, Selphie and Quistis showed up along with several Esthar soldiers.

“Squall! Are you all right?” Quistis asked as she walked over and examined his wound.

“I’m fine, just a scratch,” Squall said with a grimace.

“Take this man into custody,” Kiros ordered the soldiers as he appeared behind them. “I will interrogate him myself later.”

“You’re from Esthar, aren’t you? Well, I am a citizen of Galbadia,” the man spat. “You have no right to hold me.”

Kiros glared at him for a second before letting one of his katal blades slip out from underneath the sleeve of his robe while Ward yanked the man to his feet and held him in place. He pressed the blade to the man’s throat and leaned close.

“You just tried to assassinate the president of Esthar,” Kiros said, his tone venomous. “Trust me, whether or not we can arrest you is the very last thing you should be worried about right now.”

The man’s eyes grew wide with fear and he let out a short whimper as Kiros moved his blade and pushed him away.

“Get him out of here,” Kiros said.

“Yes sir,” the soldiers said before grabbing the man by his arms and shoving him along with their weapons firmly pressed against his back. Kiros put his katal away, and he and Ward turned toward Laguna.

“Laguna…?” he said.

“I’m all right,” Laguna said softly. “That guy didn’t even touch me.”

“That’s because he was an amateur, at best,” Squall said with a scowl.

“Squall, we really should do something about that,” Selphie said, pointing at his arm. “You’re bleeding kind of badly here.” Squall mumbled out a curse and put his gunblade away.

“Ok fine,” he said. “Zell, you and Selphie stay with Laguna. Quistis, could you….”

“Of course,” Quistis said. “It’s pretty superficial, so I should be able to heal it without any problems. But we probably should put something over it because it will still be tender for a couple days.”

“Ward and I are going to have a talk with our ‘friend’,” Kiros said, his expression grim. “We’ll see what he knows about these other attempts and threats.”

“Fine, I will catch up with you later,” Squall said as he and Quistis walked away. Kiros and Ward nodded and went off in the direction of the Esthar soldiers while Zell and Selphie moved to stand on either side of Laguna, who had become unusually quiet.

“Come on, Sir Laguna,” Selphie said. “Let’s go back to the hotel. I’d love to hear some more about those Estharian tapestries. Or maybe you could play cards with Zell again.”

“Uh, I think I’ll skip that,” Zell said, scratching the back of his head. “I don’t think I can afford to lose any more cards to him.”

“Oh, don’t be such a baby,” Selphie said. “Anyway, let’s go.”

Selphie and Zell guided Laguna to the rental car, and they started to drive back to the hotel. As he rode with them, Laguna could only think about one thing: the wound Squall had gotten on his arm.

‘ _Squall was hurt…no, my son was hurt…because he was trying to protect me,’_ he thought. ‘ _Maybe this time, it was nothing major, but…what if whoever is behind this tries again? What if Squall has to protect me again? He could get seriously injured or…or he could….’_

Laguna leaned forward and put his head in his hands.

‘ _It wasn’t supposed to be this way. This was just supposed to be a chance to spend some time together. Oh sure, there was those stupid threats, but I figured that that wouldn’t be a problem with SeeD on the job. Especially these guys. They saved the world from an evil, time-traveling, body-possessing sorceress, for Hyne’s sake. Some measly radical group should nothing compared to that. But now….’_

Laguna clenched his hands against the sides of his head and hunched down even more. Even though this had been a minor incident, something in his heart told him that things were starting spiral out of control.

Even worse, Laguna found that he was at a loss as to how he could stop it from getting worse.

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

After Quistis had taken care of his wound, Squall checked on the situation at the pavilion and had a brief conversation with Irvine before meeting with the captain of the Esthar security force, who reported that neither they nor any of the other security groups who had accompanied representatives from their countries had found anyone else infiltrating the conference.

“Looks like this nutjob was acting on his own,” he told Squall. “We’re still trying to piece together how he got in.”

“It might look like he was acting alone, but we don’t know for sure yet,” Squall replied. “Until then, you should increase your patrols and security checks.”

“We were planning on that already,” the soldier nodded. “But I should tell you that this thing has a lot of people feeling pretty antsy around here. It wasn’t easy getting the other security groups to talk to us.”

“That could be just what this guy wanted,” Squall said. “To stir things up so that people could take advantage of the confusion. Or it could be an attempt to create tension between various countries.”

“If that’s what they were wanting, it just might work,” the solder said. “There are a lot of people around here trying to find someone to blame. There’s even tension among my men.  I don’t mind tell you that just about all of us would love a chance to spend some time alone with that scum for a ‘private conversation’, if you get my meaning.”

“I thought Kiros was handling the interrogation,” Squall said, his tone neutral. The captain let out a snort and shook his head.

“Look, maybe you can’t understand this, what with you being a paid mercenary and all,” he said. “But me and my men have pledged our lives to Esthar and to President Loire. Most of us remember what it was like when Adel was in power: how she would amuse herself by tormenting and then slaughtering our friends and neighbors, how we had to serve her without question while living in constant fear, and how her evil seemed to spread all around us. We also remember how, for the longest time, no one had to courage to even consider opposing her.”

The soldier gripped his weapon tightly and turned his face away from Squall.

“No one except President Loire,” he continued. “He isn’t even from Esthar, and yet he chose to stand up and fight for us and our cause. He was willing to stand face-to-face with Adel, a sorceress who had the power to eliminate people with a snap of her fingers. He fought her and won, freeing us from her tyranny. And even though he could have easily walked away after that, he chose to stay and guide us back to peace and prosperity. Then, just recently, when the Lunar Cry plunged us into hell again, he fought right alongside us. I saw him put himself between a group of women and kids and a Behemoth and try to fight it alone. He could have easily been killed, but he still did it without the slightest hesitation. Fortunately, Ministers Seagill and Zabac soon showed up and were able to help him hold it off until we could help him kill the thing. But the point of all this is, he continues to give everything he has to Esthar and its people.”

The captain took a deep breath, his posture finally relaxing, before meeting Squall’s gaze.

“Trust me, there is not a single one of us here who would not be willing to give up his life to save President Loire’s,” he said. “To us, attacking him is no different than attacking Esthar as a whole. So maybe now you can understand why we’d like to make this guy pay for what he did.”

“I understand,” Squall said, holding out his hand. “And I apologize if I seemed glib before.”    

“It’s fine,” the soldier grunted. “I guess I can’t expect you to appreciate how it is for us anyway. You just be sure to do your job and keep him safe.”

“I will,” Squall said, his tone serious.

“Yeah, you know, I think I actually believe you,” the captain nodded. “Oh and don’t worry about me and my men getting out of hand. We know that that guy isn’t getting off easy with Minister Seagill interrogating him.”

“You think Kiros will be able to find out something?” Squall asked.

“Trust me, if that guy knows anything, Minister Seagill will find out about it,” the soldier said with a laugh. “I know he seems friendly and laid back most of the time, but the people in Esthar know that he becomes a very different person when President Loire is in danger…I should go. I’ll talk to you later.”

As he watched the soldier leave, Squall thought about what he had said. He had known that, despite occasional criticisms and voices of dissension, the vast majority of the citizens of Esthar were completely loyal to Laguna. It wasn’t until this moment, however, that he had fully grasped just how fervent that loyalty was or how the people of Esthar perceived him.

‘ _To them, Laguna is a hero: a good, brave man, who saved them from unimaginable horrors,’_ he thought. ‘ _And he didn’t do it because he had to or for some kind of reward: he did it simply because it was right…even though it ended up costing him so much.’_

Squall frowned and looked up at the sky. After seeing so much of Laguna’s life the way he did, it felt strange to think of him as heroic, and yet, he had to admit that there was no other way to describe the things Laguna did to save Ellone and to free Esthar from Adel’s cruelty. It was then that he began to feel uneasy about how he had characterized Laguna in the past.

‘ _No…maybe he did do a lot for Esthar, but that doesn’t change the fact that he wasn’t there for Sis, for Raine, or for me. Besides, they don’t know that he did what he did back then partially because he didn’t think things through like he should have…just like so many other things in his life.’_

Squall balled his hands into fists and fought the urge to hit a wall. For a moment, he couldn’t understand why he couldn’t accept what was right in front of him or why he was trying so hard to judge Laguna as harshly as he could, but then he realized that it was a reflex response to something he was all too familiar with: fear, more specifically, the fear of losing someone important to him.

He couldn’t really discern at what point Laguna had become important to him, or why it had happened. All Squall knew for sure was that when he saw that man rush toward Laguna, his gunblade poised to strike, he had felt an unexpected rush of panic that Laguna could get hurt or worse. Even now, after it was all over, when Squall thought about what could have happened, he was filled with an unshakable anxiety.

Squall relaxed his hands, but continued to scowl. He hated this fear. It was far easier before to keep people from getting too close to him and to convince himself that they didn’t matter to him in a personal way than to risk this loss. Now that he had finally allowed himself to care about Rinoa and his friends and to let them in, Squall found that one of the few ways he could still guard his heart from the world was to make himself believe that he didn’t need or want other people in his life…and that included Laguna. They were too different, too much time had passed, there were too many potential political issues; if he could believe all that, Squall figured he could easily let things remain as they were and not have to deal with or worry about Laguna.

The more he thought about it though, the more Squall realized that it wasn’t going to be that easy. Even though he still thought that time, their differences and their situations in life created a barrier, he was forced to admit that none of that was enough to stop him from feeling…something about Laguna. Some sense of camaraderie, a reluctant move toward respect, distant stirrings of something familial; Squall could not figure out for sure what it was, but he couldn’t deny that it was something and that these feelings were growing.   

 ‘ _This isn’t how it was supposed to be,’_ Squall told himself. ‘ _This was just supposed to be a routine mission: escort the president to the conference, watch over him for a couple days and then go home and move on. At most, it was our chance to clear the air and admit that this whole family thing isn’t going to work for us.’_

_‘But now….’_

Squall let out a sigh and walked back toward the hotel. Whenever his thoughts and feelings started to become too overwhelming, he discovered that the best thing to do is keep working and let everything else stay in the background.

He just wished that his work was not so closely tied to the very things he was trying to avoid.

* * *

 

Squall met with Zell in the lobby and Zell reported that it had been quiet at the hotel.

“Guess a lot of the delegates and whatnot are too nervous to do anything other than stay in their rooms,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “This has got them spooked.”

“More like they’re wondering how to spin this in a way that benefits them,” Squall mumbled. “What about Laguna?”

“Selphie’s with him now,” Zell said. “He’s been pretty quiet too. Hardly said a word since we’ve been back.”

‘ _Good, maybe now he’s starting to realize how serious our mission is,’_ Squall thought to himself.

“Any word from Quistis?” Zell asked.

“No, she’s still trying to see if there’s any connection between what happened in Esthar and stuff happening here,” Squall said. “She said she’d drop by Laguna’s room later to let me know about her progress.”

“Cool, hopefully she’ll find something,” Zell said, stretching. “’Cause I’m getting tired of all this waiting around and wondering what we should do next.”

“You and me both,” Squall said with a sigh. “Come on. Kiros also said that he’d go to Laguna’s room later with Ward after they had had a chance to interrogate the prisoner, so we might as well wait there.”

Zell nodded and the two of them went upstairs to Laguna’s room. There were a pair of guards standing in front of the door, but they moved aside as Squall and Zell approached and opened the door.

“Come on, Sir Laguna, please. I know you have more than one copy of _The Sorceress and the Knight_ in your vault at the Presidential Palace. Please let me have one. It would be the perfect addition to my website.”

“Um, Selphie, there is a reason why I stuck every copy I could find into that vault….”

‘ _Sounds like Selphie has been keeping him busy,’_ Squall thought to himself as he walked into the room. He then saw Selphie standing next to Laguna, who was sitting on his bed and staring at the curtains. As soon as she noticed that Squall was in the room, she ran over to him and clasped her hands together in a pleading gesture.

“Hey Squall, could you please talk Sir Laguna into giving me a copy of the movie he was in?” she pleaded. “I’m sure that if you were to ask him for it, he’d give it to you. So come on, please?”

“Maybe later,” Squall sighed. “Right now we need to focus on making sure that what happened today doesn’t happen again.”

“I’ve already started on that,” Selphie beamed at him. “Guess what I found while I was checking the room again.” She thrust her hand into a pocket in her dress and then held out her palm toward him.

“Listening devices?” Squall said, taking one of the round, coin-sized objects from her hand.

“Yep,” she chirped. “After I found a couple of these in here, Zell and I went searching and found some more of them in all our rooms.”

“So this guy might not be working alone after all,” Squall said as he held one up between his fingertips. “But if they had planned far enough ahead to do something like this, why would they try to take Laguna out with such sloppy tactics like the ones used this afternoon?”

“Because we are dealing with two different adversaries.”

Squall, Zell and Selphie turned to see Kiros and Ward standing the doorway.

“Two adversaries?!” Zell echoed.

“Yes,” Kiros replied. “Ward and I had a long talk with our prisoner, and while he won’t give out the names of his co-conspirators, we did find out that he belongs to a ragtag protest group who like to think they are bettering the world through petty terrorist attacks on government officials.”

Kiros tilted his head at Laguna and then walked over to lean against a wall near the bed.

“And as it turns out, that idiot didn’t even realize who Laguna was when he targeted him,” he continued, crossing his arms over his chest. “For once, the fact that Laguna never looks like an important public figure turned out to be to his advantage. If that guy had known, he probably would have tried to hurt him right away.”

“So was he the one who put these things in our rooms?” Squall said, holding one of the devices up.

“It wasn’t him or his group,” Kiros said.

“How certain are you of that?” Squall asked. Kiros looked up and narrowed his eyes at him.

“Very certain,” he replied. “I don’t know who his friends are…yet…but I do know that he had nothing to do with that.”

Squall nodded, the look in Kiros’ eyes telling him that the matter was settled and that it was better to let it go for now. He then watched as the expression on Kiros’ face softened and he walked over to sit next to Laguna on the bed.

“Laguna, are you sure that you are all right?” he asked. Laguna shook his head and looked over at him with a lopsided smile.

“I’m fine,” he said. “Go on with what you were saying.” Kiros patted his shoulder, and Squall raised an eyebrow.

‘ _He was a soldier, and he’s been the president of Esthar for almost twenty years,’_ he thought. ‘ _I’m sure his life has been threatened more than once…so why is this bothering him so much?’_

“We know his friends are thinking about another assault,” Kiros continued. “But we weren’t able to get their location out of him.”

“I think I can help with that.”

Everyone turned to see Quistis walk into the room with a satisfied smile on her face.

“After Kiros gave me this guy’s identity, I was able to track down some arrest records,” she added. “It seems that our friend has done even stupider things in the past and he and his ‘comrades’ weren’t all that careful.  Galbadian authorities have a file on this so-called, Dragon Knights of the Crystal Dynasty Revolution, and….”

“Wait a minute, ‘Dragon Knights of the Crystal Dynasty Revolution’?” Squall said, incredulous. “Is that really what they call themselves?”

“That can’t be for real,” Zell chimed in. “How could they expect anybody take them seriously with a name like that?”

“Oh it is real, and you should see their website if you think that is ridiculous,” Quistis said, smiling. “General Caraway sent some men to arrest them, and the rest of this guy’s group has already been taken into custody.”

“Which means we won’t have to worry about them anymore,” Zell said.

“True, we won’t,” Quistis nodded. “The general has also been considerate enough to disclose everything he could about this group and the arrests to every available media outlet.”

“What, so he can brag about what a good job Galbadia is doing to keep the peace?” Zell snorted.

“More like to make sure that no one will try to place the blame for this incident on Galbadia,” Squall said. “I’m pretty sure General Caraway is determined to ensure that this conference will continue, not only because he wants Galbadia to look good, but also because he does not want another war to start up: a war where Galbadia might be hard-pressed to find allies.”

“I completely agree,” Kiros said. “We’ve had our eye on the Galbadian government for some time now, and while General Caraway can be ruthless and cunning, he is not power-hungry or oblivious.”

“So we took care of these weirdoes, but what now?” Selphie said. “We still don’t know who planted those bugs or if they’re going to try anything else.”

“Well in a perverse sort of way, this does work to our advantage,” Quistis said.

“What do you mean?” Zell asked.

“She means that this attack is going to put all the security forces on an even more active alert,” Squall said. “And that’s going to make it a lot harder for whoever is doing this to go through with their plans. I think the best thing we can do is let the Esthar and Galbadian security forces take the lead on making sure things run smoothly during the conference while we focus our attention on finding whoever was responsible for bugging our rooms. I am certain now that this will lead us to the person in charge of all this.”

“What about this Danior guy that Irvine was talking about?” Selphie asked, twisting her fingers about nervously. “Haven’t we got something on him yet?”

“Yeah and where is Irvine anyway?” Zell asked. “None of us have seen him since yesterday.”

 “I spoke to him not long after the incident this afternoon,” Squall said. “Not in person though because he’s still trying to find out where Danior and his men are holed up in the city. But he did tell me that he’s going make sure to be close by for the rest of the conference.”

“That idiot,” Selphie said, turning away and kicking at the carpet. “Still trying to act so cool.” 

“Squall, what would you like the rest of us to do?” Quistis asked.

“You and Zell keep investigating,” Squall said. “Find out what you can about those bugs, about Danior, and about that stuff about Sloclum we discussed earlier. I still have a feeling that there is something there worth checking out. Selphie and I will watch over things here at the hotel.”

“We’re on it,” Zell said. “We’ll see you in the morning and let you know what we got.” He and Quistis then left the room.

“I’m going to do some more checking around the hotel,” Selphie said. “Good night, Sir Laguna, and please, please reconsider your answer.” She skipped out of the room, and Ward and Kiros looked over at Laguna with bemused expressions.

“….”

“I’d like to know that too,” Kiros nodded. “Just what exactly _did_ she ask you for?”

“Never mind,” Laguna grumbled.

“Were you able to find out anything else useful from the prisoner?” Squall asked Kiros. “Like any other groups that could be vying for a chance to try something at the conference?”

“He did mention a few others who might think about some kind of protest,” Kiros replied. “But they’re even less notable than his little faction, and the stuff they go for is minor: picket lines outside, leaflets thrown at the pavilion, things like that. It’s doubtful that we’ll see any of that now that security is being tightened so much.”

“Still, you might want to give Quistis a list of those groups,” Squall said. “Just in case one of them happens to have members that are a bit more radical than the norm.”

“Already done,” Kiros nodded. “Ward and I plan on checking on everything that guy said and maybe even having another talk with him before tomorrow.”

“Just out of curiosity, what are you going to do with him after you’re finished with him?” Squall said. A shadow of anger briefly crossed Kiros’ features as he stood back up.

“That depends on how much he cooperates,” he said. “We got rid of a lot of unduly punitive laws after Adel was removed, but there still are very severe penalties for trying to assassinate the president. Galbadian authorities have given us the option of taking him back to Esthar for prosecution or handing him over to be dealt with along with the rest of his group, who are facing far less serious charges. We’ve made sure to inform our ‘friend’ of this option and it’s proven to be very useful in getting him to answer our questions.”

Squall nodded and contemplated how he was starting to understand what the captain was talking about when he implied being interrogated by Kiros would not be a pleasant experience. Squall continued to consider the dichotomy between the two sides of Kiros’ personality he had seen when he watched him put his hand back on Laguna’s shoulder.

“If you need anything, let us know,” Kiros told him.

“….”

“Except that of course,” Kiros said with a smirk. “Ward and I were serious when we said that there would be no more action-movie themed drinking games.”

“Kiros, I’m fine, really,” Laguna said. “And I can’t believe you’re still holding a grudge over that. One little mishap with a security force cruiser and you act as if it’s the end of the world.”

“Let’s just say that Ward and I are grateful that alcohol eventually puts you to sleep,” Kiros said. “I had more than enough headaches from dealing with the paperwork from that incident.”

Squall thought about asking what Kiros meant by all that for a second before deciding that he didn’t really want to know. Instead, he watched silently as Kiros and Ward hovered about Laguna for a few more moments before finally leaving. As soon as they were gone, Laguna went back to staring at the curtains.

“We should get some sleep,” Squall said. “There’s going to be a lot of tension at the conference tomorrow and the last thing either one of us need is to be too tired to deal with it.”

“Sure,” Laguna said softly, his position not changing in the least. Squall put his hand to his face.

‘ _What is with him? Was he this susceptible when he was in the military? How in the world did he make it as a soldier, let alone gain any sort of rank? And for that matter, why did he join in the first place?’_

Squall ran his hand down his face and shook his head. He didn’t know why Laguna was acting this way, and he doubted that there was much of anything he could do to make him stop it.

‘ _Might as well get some rest after I look over the latest reports,’_ he told himself. ‘ _Laguna will probably get the hint to get some sleep after I go to bed and turn off the lights. And if not…well I’m sure he’s learned to deal with not always having an optimal amount of rest by now.’_

Squall grabbed his things out of his duffel bag and went into the bathroom to change. A twinge of guilt had wormed its way inside him, but he was able to push it away by reminding himself that he simply was no good at handling other people’s problems, and that was enough to keep him focused on his work until he went to bed.

* * *

 

It was that dream again.

Ever since he and his friends had defeated Ultimecia months ago, Squall had been plagued by a recurring dream. He didn’t dream it every night and as time went by, he had the dream less and less often.

But it never went away either.

It always started the same way. Squall was falling and then floating through time, caught in an endless stream of people, places and events as time was compressed. This time though, he did not have his friends or Rinoa with him. This time he was alone as he struggled to find any sort of meaning to the things his senses perceived.

‘ _Where is everyone? They were supposed to be here with me...No, no they were here with me. So why can’t I hear them or see them?’_

At the end of it, instead of ending up near a giant fortress suspended by chains, Squall found that he was back on that bleak, barren island, surrounding by nothingness. He opened his mouth to call out to the others, but stopped when he heard Ultimecia’s laughter all around him.

“ _Fool. Did you think I would let you enter my realm and interfere with my plans? No, I will now punish you for your continued meddling. Here I have banished you and here you will remain forever, a death beyond death.”_

“No!” Squall shouted. “This isn’t what happened. We defeated you. Rinoa! Zell, Quistis!”

“ _Ha ha, go ahead, call out to your precious friends, beg for them to help you, keep imagining that this is just a dream…It will accomplish nothing. No one has ever defeated me and no one ever will, especially not a pathetic boy like you.”_

“Rinoa! Selphie, Irvine…where are you?”

“ _Suffer. Suffer and know that it was I who banished you here. Suffer and know that you will always be alone.”_

Ultimecia’s laughter rang out again and then faded away. Squall yelled for Rinoa and the others a couple more times, but there was nothing but an empty silence.

‘ _Is this a dream? Or…was all the rest of it the dream: defeating Ultimecia, finding my friends…? Was that the dream and is this the reality?’_

Squall tried to search for an answer, some way to discern the truth from the lies, but an intense fear was washing over him, blotting away rational thought.

‘ _I’m…alone?’_

_‘No…no I’m not alone. I have my friends: Quistis, Zell, Selphie and Irvine. I have Rinoa. I’m not alone again. I’m not.’_

_‘…Am I?’_

Squall took a step forward, but the ground dissolved under his feet, and he was falling again into an ink-black void. He tried to scream, but all that came out was a strangled cry.

‘ _Please…please someone…don’t let me be alone….’_

Suddenly, Squall heard a voice. It was faint and he couldn’t make out what it was saying, but he immediately reached out for it.

“Rinoa?  Zell? Please…help me….”

“Squall? Squall, I’m here. Open your eyes.”

Squall fought against the darkness, but continued to feel himself being pulled into its depths. The voice was familiar and comforting in a way he could not fathom, and he was frustrated when he could not quite place it.

“Rinoa…please….”

“Squall, listen, it’s just a dream. Come on and wake up. Squall.”

Squall did not know where that voice came from, but right now it was his lifeline out of this horror. He felt the warm flutter of fingertips brushing his hand, and he grabbed at the source.

* * *

 

Squall’s eyes shot open, and he was startled to discover emerald eyes filled with concern staring down at him.

“Squall? Squall, are you all right?” Laguna asked him.

Squall sat up and leaned forward to take some deep breaths. As he did, he realized that Laguna had been the voice in his dream and that it was his father’s hand that he had reached for…and that he was still holding onto.

“I’m fine,” Squall said, yanking his hand away and brushing a few damp strands of hair off his face. “It was just a stupid dream.”

“Sounded more like a nightmare to me,” Laguna said. “You kept calling out for your friends. You want to talk about it?”

Squall let out a huff and stared down at his sheets. He was embarrassed that Laguna had seen this, and there was nothing he wanted more in this moment than to avoid spending even one more second with this subject.

“Sorry I woke you up,” Squall said.

“Honestly, I wasn’t really asleep….”

“In that case we should both try to get some rest,” Squall interrupted. “As I said before, it is going to be a long day tomorrow.”

“Squall, are you really going to be able to sleep after that?” Laguna asked.

‘ _No…but that doesn’t mean that I want to talk to you about it.’_

 _“_ I’ll be fine,” Squall insisted. “It was just a dream.”

“Didn’t sound like a dream,” Laguna said. “It actually sounded more like….”

“A nightmare,” Squall cut in. “You already said that.”

“No,” Laguna replied. “What I was going to say was that it sounded more like a memory than just a dream. I think dreams, even nightmares, are easier to overcome and shake off. Whereas memories…they stick with you, waking up doesn’t really help.”

‘ _And talking about it does?’_ Squall thought as he turned his head and crossed his arms over his chest. ‘ _I doubt it.’_

“Like you said, we both need to rest, but I don’t think that’s happening for you until you find a way to put this memory aside,” Laguna said, sitting down at the foot of the bed. “So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m here to listen.”

  Squall scowled and continued to stare at his lap. He had told Rinoa about this dream and while she had been able to comfort him, it didn’t lessen the dream’s impact. He couldn’t see how talking to Laguna would make any difference, and he surprised himself when he started to speak.

“It…it was during the battle with Ultimecia,” he said. “Well more like right after it. We had defeated her, and we were all trying to get back to our own time. Everyone else made it back to Edea’s house just fine. But I…I got lost.”

Laguna nodded and put his hand to his chin, his expression thoughtful. Squall let out another sigh and rubbed his eyes.

“I fell into some kind of void in time, at least, I think that’s what it could have been,” he continued. “I’m not really sure what it was. All I know was that it was like…like being in a desert, a desert with no light or life anywhere. I looked for a way out, for anyone or anything, but there was nothing. Just me and that cold emptiness.”

“You were alone,” Laguna said quietly. “But you’re here now. You must have made it out.”

“I did,” Squall said, raising his head and looking at the wall. “…But not before that void almost killed me. If it hadn’t been for Rinoa, I would have….Anyway, in this dream, she doesn’t find me. No one does. It’s just darkness and there’s no way out.”

Squall stopped and let out a sigh while he waited for inevitable hollow words of consolation from him: it’s all ok now, it’s just a dream, you don’t have to let it control you. Squall knew what was coming, but he wished that there was a way he could take back everything he had just said so he didn’t have to listen to any of those meaningless words.

“I think I understand.”

Squall looked over at Laguna, his eyebrows rising in surprise. Of all the things Laguna could have said, this was not one Squall was expecting.

“Sure, I didn’t go through a weird, time-warp thingy, like you did,” Laguna added. “But, I, I do know a little about getting lost and being all alone.”

Laguna scratched the back of his head and took a deep breath before continuing.

“I think you heard Raine mention something about how I was brought to Winhill, you know after the Crystal Pillar thing with me, and Kiros and Ward,” he said. “I remember listening to her one time while you were in my head. I know she said that I was crying like a baby when I was carried to the village, and part of that was because of my injuries. I mean, it really did seem like everything was broken inside me. To this day, I don’t know how I survived that fall. But…what she didn’t know, at least at the time I think you saw her, was that my wounds were not the only reason why I was crying.”

Squall blinked hard, but said nothing. He was still astonished that Laguna was being so open about something that was clearly a painful memory for him.

“I saw Kiros and Ward make it to one of those ships, after we escaped off that cliff from the Crystal Pillar,” Laguna said. “Even though I was in agony, a part of me was happy that it looked like they would make it. But, then I was swept out to sea. It was so cold, but after a while it did numb some of the pain, at least enough so I could tread water until I reached land again. Once I made it to the shore though, that was it. There was no way I could have gone any farther on my own. I looked up at the sky and I…I tried to prepare myself to die.”

“I’m not entirely sure how long I was laying there. It had to have been more than a day though because I remember the sun appearing and then disappearing at least once during those rare times when I was conscious and aware enough to take in my surroundings. But I do remember how every time I woke up there was nothing but more pain and the realization that I was going to die alone without anyone ever knowing what happened to me. I guess, after a while, I just couldn’t take it anymore, couldn’t take watching and waiting for my own death, and so, I, I started to cry.”

Laguna stopped and rubbed his leg, and Squall suspected that the intensity of the memory was starting to get to him. He was about to tell Laguna that he didn’t need to say anything else, but then his father started speaking again.

“You know what the funny thing is though? My crying was what saved my life,” Laguna said. “A couple of the villagers from Winhill happened to be walking by, and they heard me and that’s how they were able to find me. They tried to ask me questions, but I was so far gone by that point, all I could do was keep bawling, from the pain and from gratitude that someone had found me before I died, so I wouldn’t be alone when it happened. Truthfully, it wasn’t until they brought me to Raine and she spent all that time talking to me, trying to reassure me with the sound of her voice that I was able to stop.”

Laguna closed his eyes and shook his head. Squall tried to think of something to say, but could not find any words that didn’t seem trite or inappropriate for a response to everything he had just heard. Fortunately, Laguna did not remain silent for long and soon opened his eyes, a slight smile returning to his lips.

“But I guess that just shows that many times, we aren’t alone as we think we are,” he said. “That often, someone is just around the corner and it’s only a matter of holding on until we reach it. And that’s like you and this dream, right? You were alone at first, but then Rinoa was there and then I’m sure the rest of your friends were too. You just had to hold on until they found you. So…maybe you just need to keep that in mind that whenever you have this dream: remember that someone who will be there for you is as close as opening your eyes.”

Squall stared at Laguna, flabbergasted. Not only had he been shocked at how somber and serious Laguna had been while he told him this, but his words actually made sense. It was then that he started to wonder if perhaps there was far more to Laguna than what was obvious on the surface.

“Hey, you know what we both could use right now?” Laguna said. Squall shook his head, and Laguna grinned while holding out his arms.

“What are you doing?” Squall asked.

“What does it look like?” Laguna asked. “I’m offering you a hug. So, how about it?”

“You can’t be serious,” Squall said, frowning.

“Why not?” Laguna asked. “I’m your father. It’s normal for fathers to hug their sons during moments like this. Come on, it will do us both some good. And I’ll have you know that more than one person has told me that I’m a pretty good hugger. Even Kiros.”

Squall was certain that Kiros would not want Laguna to tell him exactly why he had said that and he found himself desperate to get Laguna to give up on this.

“I’m tired,” he said. “I really think we should try to get some more rest now.” Laguna let his arms drop, and he stood up and stretched.

“Oh, ok, I guess you’re right,” he said with a yawn. “I am pretty tired now too.”

Squall nodded and laid back down, letting his eyes slide shut. He was about to reach for his blankets when he felt them moving on their own. He then looked up to see Laguna carefully pulling his blankets up to his shoulders.

“Laguna?”

“Remember what I said,” Laguna told him as he gently pressed the sheets against his shoulders. “No matter what tricks your memories play on you while you’re asleep, you won’t be alone. I promise. I’ll be close by, so there’s no reason to worry about that anymore tonight.” Laguna then gave him another warm smile and patted his shoulders before going back to his own bed.

“Good night, Squall,” he said as he laid down. “Sweet dreams.” Laguna then turned off the lights and rolled himself up into his sheets.

Squall glanced over at him, still stunned at what had happened. A part of him was still somewhat uncomfortable with how he had told Laguna something so personal, while another part was confused over how he felt about his father being so…paternal with him.

The strongest feeling, however, was a growing sense of peace and comfort. Laguna’s words and actions hadn’t erased all of the gloom from his mind and heart, but it had been enough to get rid of the loneliness he usually felt after that dream. Squall then pondered how Laguna continued to slowly work his way through his normal defenses, and he wasn’t sure if he liked the idea at all.

A snore from the bed across from him interrupted those thoughts, however, and Squall smirked and settled into his bed.

‘ _Good night, Laguna. Sleep well.’_  

 


	10. Chapter 10

The next morning, Squall left his room early and sent Selphie to keep an eye on Laguna so he could check in with the rest of his team at the pavilion. He started to head downstairs when a voice in the hallway stopped him.

“Squall.”

Squall looked up to see Rinoa walking up the stairwell toward him. She studied him for one more moment before rushing to close the distance between them and throwing her arms around him. He grunted, his shoulder still stiff and sore from yesterday, but then he closed his eyes and slipped his arms around her.

“Quistis told me that you had gotten hurt yesterday,” she whispered as she buried her face against his chest. Squall moved one hand to stroke her hair.

“It was a minor injury,” he said. “The moron who gave it to me did not know the first thing about handling a gunblade.”

“And yet, he still got you,” Rinoa said as she turned her face upward. Squall let out a sigh and opened his eyes.

“He got lucky,” Squall frowned.

“Is that all it was? Luck?” Rinoa said. “Are you sure it wasn’t something else?”

 _‘What is she talking about?’_ Squall asked himself. ‘ _The guy was a complete amateur. How else could he have gotten me if it wasn’t luck?’_ Rinoa squeezed him one last time before letting go and stepping back.

“Laguna is ok too, right?” she said.

“He’s fine,” Squall replied. “He was able to dodge the guy until I got to him.”

“Was it really that close?” Rinoa said, hugging her arms close to her.

“It wasn’t anything Laguna couldn’t handle,” Squall said. “He might not have been much of a soldier, but he is competent enough to take care of himself against a weak opponent like that.”

“But he wasn’t armed, was he?” Rinoa asked. “If that guy hadn’t been as hopeless as you say he is, Laguna could have gotten hurt, right?”

“What are you implying?” Squall said. “Are you saying that we need to improve our tactics?” Rinoa held up a palm and waved it at him.

“No, no, I’m sure you guys did everything correctly,” she said. “You’re probably right that it was just luck that that guy got so close to Laguna.” Squall reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

‘ _If that’s what she thinks, then why is she dwelling on this? What exactly is she looking for here?’_

“Rinoa, I’m fine, Laguna is fine,” he said, moving his hand from his face. “Selphie and Zell have secured the hotel, and Quistis and Irvine are doing their parts to make sure the pavilion is safe. And on top of that, both Esthar and Galbadia have heightened their security measures. Plus, we are looking into the fact that our rooms were bugged.”

“It sounds like you have everything covered,” Rinoa nodded.

“We do,” Squall said.

“I knew you would. It’s just….”

‘ _What?’_

“Aren’t you scared?” Rinoa asked, leaning toward him.

“Why would I be?” Squall replied. “We’ve both faced far more dangerous battles than this.”

“I know you are trying to make this just another mission,” Rinoa continued, seemingly oblivious of his comment. “But that’s not how it can be, can’t you see that?  Squall, this is your father’s life we are talking about. Aren’t you even the least bit worried that something could happen to him? Why does it seem like I’m more worried about him than you are?” Squall put a hand to his face.

“Rinoa,” he said through his fingers. “Nothing will happen to Laguna if we all do our jobs.”

“All of you were doing your jobs, and yet someone still almost got to him,” she said. “Doesn’t that mean anything to you?” Squall let his hand slide away from his face.

“Listen,” he said. “The fact that there are people who are serious about eliminating Laguna is precisely the reason why this has to be just another routine mission. We can’t afford to let anything cloud our judgment or interfere with our ability to think or act strategically and quickly. Do you see what I am saying?”

“I get what you are saying. I do,” Rinoa said, tracing a circle on the floor with her foot.  “But even though I get your reasons, I just don’t know if I can believe that it can be that way. Can you?”

‘ _What is this?’_ Squall wondered. ‘ _She says that she understands why it has to be this way, and yet it’s like she’s trying to make it into something else, something personal. Is she worried because she thought that nothing would happen on this mission…or did she not even realize how it would be from the beginning?’_

_‘Doesn’t she realize that this is how it is in the field?’_

_‘Is she ever going to be ready to handle this kind of work?’_

“Squall?” Rinoa said. “Squall, you know that I can’t read your mind. Please tell me what you’re thinking.” Squall drew her close and held her again, draping his arms over her shoulder and waist.

“Don’t worry,” he told her. “Nothing truly hazardous has happened so far, and even if anything else does happen, chances are, it won’t be anything we can’t take care of. In a couple days, we’ll be sending Laguna, Kiros and Ward back to Esthar and we’ll be heading back to Garden where the worst thing I’ll have to deal with is the usual mountain of paperwork.”

“Which I know you loathe,” Rinoa giggled.

“Who in their right mind wouldn’t loathe it?” Squall asked. “I still don’t see why Cid can’t assign most of that to someone else. Someone who actually likes administrative work.”

“Somehow, I think Cid would be hard-pressed to find someone like that at Garden,” Rinoa said, smiling up at him. “SeeDs aren’t exactly known for their paper-pushing skills.”

“Thankfully,” Squall said with a huff. Rinoa giggled again and moved closer to embrace him.

“And you’re right,” she said. “About what you were saying before. I guess it would be hard to make snap decisions during a battle if you had to think too much about all the implications of each mission. I’m sure it will all work out though, just like you said.”

The two of them held each other for a moment more before Squall let out another sigh and lowered his arms.

“We need to get going,” he said. “Selphie’s going to accompany Laguna to the pavilion, but we need to get there to meet with the others before that so we can be ready when he arrives.”

“Oh of course,” Rinoa said, letting him go. “I’m ready to leave if you are.” Squall nodded and they headed down the steps toward the lobby.

“I had a talk with my father,” Rinoa said as they walked. Squall nodded but said nothing.

“It wasn’t what I was expecting,” Rinoa continued. “But it was good. I think it was anyway. I made plans with him to come back in a couple months. You know, I can honestly say that I didn’t see myself doing that until it actually happened.”

“So it went well?” Squall said.   

“I guess you can say it did,” Rinoa replied. “That is, until he ran off to take over the arrest of the members of the Dragon Knights Crystal Revolution or whatever it is that they call themselves. Seriously, when I heard about that, I thought it was a joke. But of course, it wasn’t a joke to that man. He just had to get involved.”

“Actually, General Caraway’s actions turned out to be beneficial to us,” Squall said. “Not only did he help get rid of some people who would have hindered our efforts to protect Laguna, he also made sure that there wouldn’t be too much tension among the other delegates.”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Rinoa said. “I suppose that there could be a lot of things that I haven’t really been thinking about in relation to my father….So what about you? How has it been with you and Laguna?”

“It’s fine,” Squall shrugged. “Other than that bit yesterday, the conference is going smoothly, and for the most part, Laguna is complying with the security measures we’ve set up.”

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it,” Rinoa said, frowning at him. “I mean how has it been between you two? You guys have talked, right? How did that go?” Squall scowled and turned his face toward the floor.

“We talked,” he said.

“And?”

“And what?”

“Come on,” Rinoa said, playfully punching his uninjured arm. You know what I’m asking.”

‘ _Actually, I don’t. Well maybe I have a vague idea, but there is no way I could really answer your question….’_

“I told him about myself. He chose to keep quiet about his past,” Squall said. “There’s not much else to say.”

“I see,” Rinoa said, nodding thoughtfully. “But you know, Squall, there might be a reason why it’s difficult for him to talk about the past. Maybe there’s just too much pain there.”

“Whatever,” he said. “Let’s talk about something else. I should fill you in on everything we’ve discovered while you were at your father’s.”

“It’s ok, Quistis already told me,” Rinoa said. “Oh and she did want me to tell you that she is looking into a new lead. Something about how there’s been reports of suspicious para-magic activity on the outskirts of Deling just recently. Quistis didn’t think it was much, but she was going to check on it anyway.”

“Good idea,” Squall nodded.

The two of them walked outside and got on a transport that was waiting there and silently rode to the pavilion. Rinoa spent her time looking out the window at the people on the sidewalks while Squall crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in his seat.

Even though he tried to focus on the information Rinoa had just told him, Squall’s mind kept returning to the night before and what had happened. After his talk with Laguna, he had managed to fall back asleep swiftly and his dreams were peaceful for the rest of the night, something he had not experienced before after he started having that dream. He figured that that was the sort of thing that Rinoa was asking about, but he wasn’t sure how to tell her about it partially because he still did not know how he felt about it himself.

_‘Last night, he acted like he wants to be here for me, be a part of my life. I’m sure he meant it…but I’m also sure that he made a promise exactly like that to Raine….’_

Squall frowned and lowered his head even more. Even though he didn’t doubt Laguna’s sincerity, the fact remained that Laguna did not have the best track record when it came to being there for the people he professed to love and care for. Squall no longer felt as much bitterness over this point, but it was still enough to make him wary of forming any kind of attachment.

‘ _I don’t want to end up like Ra…my mother, pining away for someone who won’t be there. I don’t want to go back to how it was at the orphanage, alone and trying to recover from a hole gouged into my life.’_

But even as Squall contemplated this, the meaning of Rinoa’s words earlier came back to him, and their meaning suddenly became clear to him.

_“I know you are trying to make this just another mission…But that’s not how it can be, can’t you see that?”_

_“All of you were doing your jobs, and yet someone still almost got to him…Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”_

He hadn’t wanted to admit it, but in that moment, Squall realized that she was right: no matter how much he tried to tell himself that this was like any other job, he simply could not see it that way. It was too personal, the stakes were too high.

‘ _What will happen if I can’t stay focused and objective? Mistakes could start happening…mistakes like what happened yesterday.’_

_‘Mistakes with far more serious outcomes.’_

Squall let his hands fall into his lap. Mistakes were unacceptable during a mission. It was something Squall had had drilled into him ever since he had started his SeeD training. Mistakes could lead to failure to fulfill a contract; mistakes could lead to harsh disciplinary measures.

Mistakes could get someone killed.

‘ _Accepting this mission was the biggest mistake of all,’_ Squall told himself. ‘ _I should have known that it wouldn’t be so simple. I should have insisted that someone else go in my place. And I…I should not have allowed myself to think that things could work between me and Laguna. It’s too late now. Laguna is just going to have to realize that.’_

Squall lifted his head and began to form a list in his mind about the things he wanted to go over with his team when he arrived at the conference. A part of him was sorry that it wouldn’t work out with his father, but Squall was certain that, in the end, it was better for both of them to put a halt to this attempt to build a bond between them.

‘ _There won’t be any more mistakes,’_ he thought. ‘ _We will protect the president and find the people who are after him. We are SeeDs. SeeDs do not fail in their missions.’_

_‘And I won’t let it happen this time either.’_

* * *

 

“Sir Laguna, I don’t think this is a good idea.”

Laguna crept up to the door in front of them before turning back to flash a grin at Selphie.

“It’ll be fine,” he assured her. “You guys are wanting to find out who is behind all this, right?” Selphie looked down and shuffled back and forth in place.

“Yeah, but we aren’t supposed to be here,” she said. “What if we get caught?”

“It’s ok,” Laguna assured her. “If someone finds us, I can make sure that neither one of us will get in trouble.”

“But this isn’t part of our established schedule,” Selphie added. “No one knows we’re here, so there won’t be any backup if something happens.”

“That’s why you’re here with me,” Laguna said. “I’m sure if we work together, we can take care of anything that comes up. You’re SeeD, and I’m not completely helpless either.”

“I know, but….”

“Come on, Selphie, don’t worry about it,” Laguna insisted. “Trust me, this will work out. You’ll see.”

“Um, that’s what you’d often say to Kiros and Ward,” she said. “And it didn’t usually end up that way.”

 Laguna scratched the back of his head, but chose not to respond to her comment. He then looked around one more time before pulling a key card out of his pocket.

* * *

 

That morning, Laguna had gotten up early due to a restless and troubled sleep. He had watched Squall slumber for almost an hour while he thought back to the night before.

‘ _He shouldn’t have to endure nightmares like that. Nightmares where he’s lost in space in time. He’s only eighteen for Hyne’s sake. That’s not the kind of stuff eighteen-year-olds should have to think about.’_

Laguna shook his head and carefully placed a hand near Squall’s head. He knew that it wasn’t just the fact that Squall was so young that was upsetting him; it was also the fact that he was his son, his only child and his sole remaining tie to Raine.

‘ _Rinoa was right. He’s so scared of being left alone….And it started with me. I was the first person who left him. It’s my fault that he has this fear.’_

_‘No wonder he’s so reluctant to let me in.’_

Laguna inched his fingers closer to Squall’s head. His son looked so innocent and relaxed while asleep and it made Laguna wish he could  ruffle his hair in affection, but he was certain that Squall would hate it and would push him away. Even though he still felt a strong, lingering guilt over the source of his son’s nightmares, Laguna believed that last night was at least a minor breakthrough: they had talked, Squall had listened, and by the end of it, his son seemed glad to have him there. It was a lot more than Laguna had expected so soon, and he couldn’t help but feel happy and hopeful that the worst of all this tension and awkwardness was over.

One last thought, however, continued to cast a shadow on this happiness: the fact that Squall could still get hurt while trying to protect him. It was what had kept Laguna from enjoying a truly restful sleep and it was still on his mind as he watched over Squall now. But time and a chance to reflect had given Laguna an inspiration on how to solve this.

‘ _If we find out who is behind all this, Squall and his team can take them out. Then there wouldn’t be any threat, and we can stop worrying about this and move on to the important stuff. So instead of sitting around here waiting, I should try to figure this out too. But, what can I do that SeeD can’t do themselves?’_

_‘Wait…of course….the Deling City security systems. I remember learning about them while I was still a soldier. They’ve got monitors throughout the city, a lot of them hidden. If we could access the information stored on those monitors, we might be able to catch these guys in the act of doing something: bugging the hotel, sneaking into the pavilion, something. And hey, I remember that one really boring secretary guy telling me about how there is an access panel at the pavilion.’_

_‘Problem is, only top level military and government personnel have complete access to that information. They probably wouldn’t give it to SeeD.’_

_‘But…it might be accessible to the president of Esthar. Yeah, I remember, when those scientists came to Esthar recently from Galbadia, they presented me with a special access key as a gesture of good will from the government. Granted, Kiros said that it was a token gesture and that it wouldn’t make any really sensitive stuff available, but I’m sure that this wouldn’t be considered too classified for me to look at. I might be able to give Squall all kinds of useful information that he could use to wrap this up in no time.’_

Laguna nodded as he began to formulate a plan for when he got to the pavilion. He then glanced down again at Squall and smiled as he gingerly brushed a few strands of his hair that were laying on the pillow.

‘ _It’s not going to be like last time, with Ultimecia. I’m not going to leave everything to you and hope that it turns out for the best. This time I’m going to stand with you and do everything I can to keep you out of the front lines.’_

* * *

 

Laguna swiped the card through the card slot next to the door and grinned when a soft beep and click let him know that the door was unlocked. After arriving at the pavilion with Selphie he had told her about his plan and pleaded and cajoled until she agreed to go along with it. He then found one of the Galbadian security guards he had become friendly with over the past couple of days and managed to talk him into giving him a spare key card to access the security corridors of the pavilion. 

They crept into the room with Selphie keeping an eye on the corridor and then carefully closing and locking the door behind them. Once they were sure that they were alone, Laguna sat down in front of the main console while Selphie continued to watch the door while making sure to occasionally glance around the room.

“Hmm, let’s see,” Laguna said as he studied the monitor in front of him. “From what that guy told me, what I’m looking for would probably be under this menu here.”

“Sir Laguna, do you know what you’re doing?” Selphie asked him.

“More or less,” Laguna said as he tapped at the keyboard. “This doesn’t look too hard to figure out.”

“We don’t have a whole lot of time,” Selphie whined. “If we don’t get back to the conference area soon….”

“Yeah, I know, something could happen,” Laguna said. “Or, even worse, Squall could find out and then we’ll both be dead for sure. Don’t worry; I think I’ve got this now.”

A prompt for a security code flashed on the screen, and Laguna pulled out the access key he had been given and jammed it into the keyhole near the screen. He then typed in his name and waited to see what would happen.

‘ _Oh Hyne, don’t tell me that this isn’t going to work. Come on! What good is this key for if I can’t even….’_

“Security code accepted,” a digitized voice from the monitor droned. “Welcome, President Loire. Please choose the menu you wish to access.”

“Yes!” Laguna said, pumping his fist in the air. “I’ve got access. Now, I just need to download some stuff into this thing Kiros showed me how to use.”

Laguna pulled out a tiny metallic square out of his pocket and slipped it into the nearest open port on the computer. He then watched as the menu he had called up started to copy file after file into its memory. As the files were brought up, images from the various security cameras rapidly replayed on the screen with one in particular catching his eye.

‘ _Looks like one of the side alleys near the pavilion,’_ he mused. ‘ _There’s one of our guards on patrol.’_ He continued to watch as the guard moved into an area that was out of sight of the cameras and then return a short time later.

‘ _Wait…something’s wrong….something wasn’t right about that. What was it?’_

Laguna wanted to replay the footage again, but he knew that he would have to wait until the device he had plugged into the computer was finished with its work and they had a chance to upload it elsewhere.

“Are you almost done?” Selphie asked.

“Almost done,” Laguna replied. “I just need another minute or two at the most.”

Selphie had opened her mouth to reply, but she stopped when a loud thud reverberated above them. They both looked up to the ceiling, and Selphie whipped out her nunchaku.

“We need to get out of here,” Selphie said, her eyes still fixed on the ceiling. “You go first, and I will cover you.”

“No, I won’t leave you alone,” Laguna said. “We’ll get out of here together.”

He reached out his hand to snatch the device from the computer drive when several of the ceiling tiles crashed down onto the floor. He whirled around to see a pair of men dressed entirely in black with masks obscuring their faces jump down into the room in front of Selphie.

“Sir Laguna, run!” Selphie yelled as she swung her weapon toward her nearest opponent. The man was able to dodge the first blow, but was caught by the momentum of her return swing. But even as she quickly dispatched one of them, three more dropped into the room.

Laguna gritted his teeth and reached for the console again, but one of the men pulled out a machine gun and blasted away at the computers. Laguna had barely had time to dodge the bullets and roll along the floor to the safety of some steel cabinets near a corner of the room.

“Hey watch it!  You’ll pay for that. Time to taste ten-thousand needles of pain.”

Laguna could hear Selphie still fending off her attackers, and he tried frantically to think of a way he could help her. Suddenly, one of the men leapt out in front of him and aimed his gunblade at him.

“Die,” the same said, his voice low and muffled by the mask. Before he could pull the trigger, however, Laguna grabbed a trashcan sitting next to him and threw it directly at the man’s head, hitting him square in the face. He then kicked out his legs and struck his assailant’s knees, causing him to stagger and fall, the gunblade sailing out of his hands. Laguna took advantage of his opponent’s position and brought the same trashcan down against the man’s head, knocking him unconscious.

‘ _Guess no one ever taught him the first rule of combat,’_ Laguna thought as he scrambled to his feet. ‘ _Always be on the lookout for an opportunity.’_ He looked over to see that Selphie was surrounded and was about to try something else when the sound of footsteps outside the room caught his attention.

“Someone’s coming,” one of the men said. “We need to leave now.”

The men who were still standing rushed over to the hole in the ceiling, and one by one they jumped up toward the opening and pulled themselves up into the room above them. Laguna turned toward the door when he heard someone try to turn the knob.

“Laguna! Laguna are you in here?”

“Kiros?” he said, moving toward the door. He was about to unlock the door when he felt hands grab him from behind. Laguna wrenched his head to the side to see that the man he had fought with earlier had regained his senses and was now wrapping one arm around his neck while pressing a short blade to his throat with his other hand. Laguna clawed and squirmed, but the man was significantly larger and more powerful than him.

“Sir Laguna!” Selphie cried as she rushed over toward him. The man tightened his grip and pressed the blade closer, causing a tiny trickle of blood to form. Just then, the door flew open, and Kiros ran in. His eyes then narrowed at the man in front of him and he let both of his katal slide out.

“Let him go,” Kiros growled at the man holding Laguna. “Now.” The man snorted and tightened his arm around Laguna’s throat.

“Move out of my way,” the man ordered. “And maybe I’ll let your precious president live a few minutes longer.”

“If you hurt him, you will be the one who will not have much longer to live,” Kiros said, his tone cold and forceful. “Look around, you have no way out of here. So, let him go now, and you may be lucky enough to spend the rest of your life in prison.” The man laughed again and continued to increase the pressure on Laguna’s neck.

“Prison? Forget that,” he said. “There’s no way I’m going to prison. I’d rather die that go back there…but I won’t go out alone. I’ll be sure to take him with me.”

Kiros grimaced as he watched Laguna continued to struggle to take in air, his face turning red and his eyes becoming unfocused. The man then dropped the blade and reached down into his pocket, pulling out a small ball-shaped device. Kiros heard the sound of a button being pushed and a series of sharp ticks, and his eyes widened as he realized what the man had just done.

“I’m not leaving this room,” the man said, holding up the bomb in his hand. “But neither is he. So you and the girl over there better leave unless you want to be blown to pieces too.”

“Kiros,” Laguna croaked out. “Selphie…go….”

“No, stop it,” Selphie said, her hands rising to cast another spell.

“Hey! They’re down here!”

The sound of voices in the hallway and feet stomping toward them caused the man to turn his attention away from Kiros, and that was the opening Kiros was looking for. He suddenly rushed at his opponent, one of his katal slashing across the arm that was holding Laguna. The man screamed in pain and released his hold. Laguna violently gasped and started to sink to the floor, but Kiros managed to yank him up and shove him toward Selphie.

“Get him out of here!” Kiros yelled before propelled himself against the man in front of him. Laguna collided with Selphie and they both fell to the floor just as a bright blue ball of light erupted from her hands.

“Protect!” she yelled as she landed on the carpet. Less than a second after the word left her lips, the bomb exploded, blasting a hole into the wall and filling the room with smoke and bits of debris. Selphie laid still for several moments and listened to Laguna wheeze as he tried to take a full breath.

“Selphie? Laguna? Are you all right?”

The sound of Zell’s voice brought Selphie back to her senses, and she sat up and leaned toward Laguna, who was still lying face down on the floor.

“Sir Laguna, are you hurt?” she asked, putting her hands on his back and shoulder. Laguna slowly pulled himself up into a sitting position and shook his head. Selphie continued to watch him while Zell, Quistis, Squall, Rinoa, and Ward ran into the room.

“What happened?” Zell said as he waved at the smoke that lingered around them. Rinoa knelt down beside Selphie and began to check her for any injuries while Ward crouched down in front of Laguna and grabbed his arms.

“…!”

“I’m ok,” Laguna said between coughs. “Just…just really dizzy.” Laguna tried to rise to his feet, but immediately stumbled back downward. Ward caught him, however, and securely held him upright until he was able to stand on his own.

“….”

“I…I don’t know,” Laguna said. “He was just here a moment ago. Kiros? Kiros, where are you? Are you ok?”   

Squall and Quistis carefully made their way through the room, their vision impaired by the smoke. They separated, and after a minute more of searching, Squall grunted and turned back toward the doorway.

“I think I found one of the assassins...what’s left of him, anyway,” he said.

“There’s some more bodies over here,” Quistis said, her tone grim. Zell brushed his hand through the smoke one more time before joining them, and after walking only a couple steps his foot came into contact with something, and he crouched down to see what it was.

“Guys….” he said, his voice unusually quiet and somber.

Something in his tone created a tight ball of fear inside Laguna, and he walked over to see what Zell was looking at. What he saw was Kiros laying on the ground, his body limp and still, his face covered with blood.

“Kiros!”


	11. Chapter 11

After securing the area around the explosion, Selphie, and Quistis accompanied Laguna back to the hotel, along with a most of the soldiers from Esthar’s security detail, despite numerous adamant and loud protests from Laguna, who insisted on going with Kiros. Once Irvine showed up, he and Ward took a couple of the remaining soldiers with them to the hospital where Kiros had been rushed to. The staff had been able to find a private area for Ward and Irvine to wait in and they settled in.

Irvine leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms behind his head while lowering the brim on his hat. He had heard the explosion, despite the fact that he had been outside, hidden within the grounds outside the pavilion. By the time he joined the others, he was stunned to see Squall and Quistis standing among several corpses, and Laguna and Ward huddled down on the floor, anxiously watching medics tend to Kiros.  Squall asked that he keep an eye on Ward, and Irvine immediately agreed, figuring that what he was working on could easily be put aside for now.

Irvine glanced over at Ward, who was standing near one of the windows, silently staring outside. He thought about trying to talk to him a couple of times, but then he remembered how Ward was mute and would not be able to answer back.

‘ _I wonder how Laguna and Kiros are able to understand him so easily,’_ Irvine thought. ‘ _Guess it’s not that hard when you’ve been close friends for over twenty years.’_

Irvine tilted his hat back up a little and glanced at the grey, textured walls. He pondered how he hadn’t even existed for twenty years, and he couldn’t help but marvel at the idea of maintaining any sort of relationship for that long without some kind of blood tie being involved. Not unlike Squall, Irvine often saw his relationships with others as temporary, and while he didn’t shy away from them to protect himself like Squall did, Irvine did find it hard to invest himself too deeply in any of them.

‘ _What will we be like in twenty years?’_ he asked himself. ‘ _Will we all still be friends with each other or will we drift apart? Will we still be SeeDs, or would we move on to other things? Would I still be with Selphie? Would I still have these same feelings for her, or would they disappear or become something else? Would she still be willing to put up with me for that long?’_

Minutes turned into hours with still no word from anyone, and Irvine grew restless. Ward still hadn’t moved from his position near the window, and the silence was becoming intolerable. Irvine stretched, stood up and strolled over to stand next to Ward.

“Listen, Ward,” Irvine said. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry that this happened. I know that probably doesn’t mean much right now, but…it’s how I feel. I know we don’t really know each other beyond what we experienced in the ‘dream world’ of your guys’ past that Ellone sent us to, but I can honestly say that I’d consider all of you friends, and I hope that Kiros pulls through.” Ward let out a sigh and turned to face him.

“….”

“Sorry,” Irvine said, fiddling with his hat. “I’m not really sure of what you’re trying to tell me.”

“….”

Irvine thought about apologizing again, but then he hesitated and studied Ward quietly instead. He noted the intense look in Ward’s eyes and then the softer flicker that appeared when Ward looked at him directly. Irvine focused on that flicker, turning his attention to it much like how he did when he was lining up a target in the scope of his rifle. After a few more seconds of contemplation, an idea suddenly struck him.

“You’re…thanking me, aren’t you?” Irvine asked. Ward nodded. “And, and you’re worried about Kiros too.” Another nod, albeit it a briefer one. Irvine put a hand to his chin.

“No…you’re not just worried about Kiros,” he said. “You’re also worried about Laguna, about how he’s taking this.” Ward nodded again, this time with more emphasis while making sure to look Irvine in the eye, and in that moment, Irvine felt as if he was starting to grasp how Kiros and Laguna communicated with him.

“Excuse me, Minister Zabac?”

Ward and Irvine walked over to see a tall, gaunt man with salt-and-pepper hair and a white coat staring at them near the doorway of the waiting area. The two of them walked over, and Irvine did not like the solemn expression on the doctor’s face.

“Hey, Doctor,” Irvine said, breaking the silence. “What can you tell us? How is Kiros doing?” The doctor coughed looked down at the clipboard in his hands.

“I’m, I’m sorry,” he said. “I regret to inform you that Minister Seagill died within minutes of arrival.” Ward started violently, taking a couple steps back while Irvine’s jaw dropped in shock.

“What?!”  Irvine gasped. “But, but when the medics were treating him at the pavilion, they didn’t act like it was that serious. How can he be…?”

“I’m afraid his injuries were far graver than they might have appeared on the surface,” the doctor said, still keeping his gaze on the papers in front of him. “The force of the blast caused numerous internal injuries including a fatal brain hemorrhage. There was simply wasn’t time to repair all the damage in order to save his life. I am sorry.”

Ward staggered back again, and slumped down toward the floor for almost a full minute before standing back up and approaching the doctor with a stern expression.

“….”

“Excuse me?” the doctor said, finally looking up from his clipboard.

“….”

“I…I think he’s trying to say that he wants to see Ki—Minister Seagill with his own eyes,” Irvine said hesitantly.

“I understand,” the doctor said. “Right now, they are preparing his body so he can be transported, but I could let you see him after that. While you are waiting, I will need you to fill out some paperwork…or would it be better to send these papers to President Loire?”

“Trust me, Doctor, it’d better if you let Minister Zabac here take care of it,” Irvine said. One glance back at Ward was enough for Irvine to know that he had made the right call in that answer.

“All right, if you will just follow me,” the doctor said, holding out a hand. “This should not take too long.”

Ward nodded and slowly plodded after the doctor. Irvine followed them part of the way before stopping and ducking into one of the side corridors.

He went to a window and leaned against the sill. Watching Ward process the loss of one of his oldest friends had planted a seed of grief in his own heart, and he was not looking forward to seeing how Laguna would react once he found out as well.

‘ _Damn,’_ Irvine thought with a grimace. ‘ _It just seems so…wrong, Kiros dying like this. Weren’t we supposed to prevent this from happening?’_

_‘Danior…I know that is was his men behind this. It’s exactly his style: assaults on all sides when he can’t get a direct line on his target. I’m sure the loss of his men means nothing to him in now that he can claim Kiros as another one of his ‘trophies’.’_

Irvine gripped the edges of the sill, his jaw tightening. Instead of being intimidated by this attack, he found himself even more determined to win the duel between him and Danior.

‘ _No good standing around here brooding,’_ he said to himself. ‘ _We still have a job to do. And there’s no time like the present to get back to work. First though, I better try to get a hold of Squall and let him know what’s happened.’_

“Irvine Kinneas.”

Irvine started and whirled around toward the sound. He then detected a slight flutter of movement from a darkened corner of the hallway. His muscles tense and preparing for an attack, he crept closer to the figure wrapped in shadows, his eyes widening as he approached.

“W-wait,” Irvine stuttered. “You’re….” A hand was raised toward him.

“No, not here. Let’s go into this side room. We need to talk.”

“What do you mean?” Irvine said. “What is going on?”

“What’s going on is that I need your help, Irvine. Now hurry, we have a lot to discuss and very little time to discuss it.”

* * *

 

Meanwhile, Squall, Zell and Rinoa were left with the unenviable task of dealing with the Galbadian military. While everyone was glad that President Loire was unharmed in the attack, there were many uncomfortable questions about what he was doing there in the first place and what SeeD’s actual role was in this affair. Eventually, General Caraway intervened in the discussion, and for once, Rinoa was grateful that he did. Squall met with Caraway and explained everything to him, including the reason why they had come to Esthar and what Selphie was able to tell him about Laguna’s actions. Once Squall was done, Caraway stood up to lean against a nearby desk and nodded his head.

“I see,” he said. “So, you think that whoever had threatened President Loire in Esthar is behind this attack.”

“Correct,” Squall nodded. “Our mission is to protect President Loire and his staff while they were here in Deling and to neutralize the threat against him.”

“Why hire SeeD?” Caraway asked. “It’s been my experience that the elite among Esthar soldiers are some of the best in the world. And why did he try to access our security systems?”

“It was my understanding that he wanted to keep Esthar’s military presence minimal as a show of good will,” Squall replied. “As to his actions tonight, I cannot say for sure what his motives were. From what my team has told me, President Loire was hoping to hasten the progress in our investigation in order to ensure his safety and the safety of his staff.”

“Perhaps,” Caraway said, his tone guarded. “But I think I can safely infer what President Loire’s true motivation was, and I am certain that it wasn’t himself or his staff that he was so concerned about.” He then turned his gaze toward Rinoa. “It is, after all, a motivation I understand completely.”

Squall followed Caraway’s line of sight, his mind quickly drawing together the implications behind the general’s words. He then looked over to see Caraway studying him again.

“Father…” Rinoa started.

“It’s all right, Commander Leonhart,” Caraway said with a wave of his hand. “As I have already explained to my daughter, I am willing to remain discreet about your connection with President Loire.” The general shifted his position, moving both of his arms out in front of him.

“The problem is, while I might be able to understand a father’s desire to protect his child, others within positions of power in Galbadia might not be as solicitous,” Caraway continued. “It’s true that we gave President Loire that access key as a way to demonstrate our gratitude for Esthar’s willingness to share some of its technological advances with us, but some might take his activities tonight as an abuse of our good will.”

“He was just trying to help,” Zell said, pounding his fists against his sides. “You make it sound like he’s a criminal or something.”

“Zell…” Squall said.

“And besides, what have you guys accomplished?” Zell added. “All you did was round up those Crystal Dragon whatever idiots and make a bunch of statements to the press. You probably wouldn’t have even gotten that if it weren’t for Kiros helping you out.” Caraway stared at him for a moment before standing up and walking over to him.

“Dincht,” he said. “Perhaps what you and the rest of your team should be asking yourselves is why SeeD is relying on the people they were hired to protect to help them carry out their mission instead of focusing on our alleged shortcomings.”

Zell balled his hands up into fists, but said nothing while Caraway walked off to the side to face all of them.

“As for the rest of it, it may be difficult to smooth everything over, but it’s not hopeless,” he said. “President Loire may be the intended target, but that does not mean that the other delegates are safe. I am sure that everyone involved can be convinced that Esthar was acting in a proactive manner by trying to assist in the apprehension of these assassins. Although, it might be prudent to avoid disclosing details like the fact that their sole objective is to eliminate President Loire.”

“You mean lie?” Rinoa said with a scowl.

“Not lie,” Caraway responded. “Just keep certain pieces of information on a need-to-know basis. Only a fool would blurt out everything he knows freely. I’m sure Commander Leonhart can appreciate what I am saying given his work with SeeD.”

“I can,” Squall said, putting a hand to his hip. “To an extent. But I wonder how far this policy can go. What happens when we catch the people involved? The rest of the truth might come out then.”

“Again, perhaps,” Caraway nodded. “But I suspect that Esthar will be quite eager to make sure that this remains an internal affair and will find a way to ensure that the more damaging facts are never made available to the public…or to the wrong people within the Galbadian government. From what little we have learned in the last year, issues like that are usually handled very efficiently by Minister Seagill. I certainly hope that he recovers soon. Men like him are the reason why Galbadia has faith in Esthar’s peaceful stability.”

“General Caraway, they are waiting for you.”

Everyone turned to see a Galbadian soldier standing near the door, saluting the general. Caraway nodded.

“Tell them I will be in there shortly with a representative from SeeD,” he said. The soldier saluted again and walked out of the room. “I’ve managed to bring together the most influential delegates to share our findings with them. Commander Leonhart, will you accompany me?”

“No wait, I’ll go,” Rinoa said, stepping forward.

“Rinoa….” Squall said.

“You said that you were bringing a representative from SeeD to this meeting, right?” Rinoa said, walking over to Caraway. “Well I can do that. I know everything Squall does about this mission and what’s happened so far.”

“This meeting may become rather intense at times,” Caraway said. “There are bound to be some people who will be looking to vilify SeeD and their actions. Are you sure about this?”

“You’ll be there, right?” she said. Caraway nodded. “Then it will be fine. I know that you’re used to dealing with the jerks who are in charge around here, so you can take over if things will get out of hand. Trust me, I can do this.”

“Rinoa,” Squall repeated. “I should be the one going in there.”

“No Squall, let me do this,” she said, turning toward him. “You should go back to the hotel and stay with Laguna. He needs you right now.”

“Quistis and Selphie are there. They can make sure that he is….”

“Ugh, Squall, don’t you get it?” Rinoa said, placing the heel of her hand against her forehead.  “It has to be you. Especially now with what’s happened. So let me take care of this and you go and take care of Laguna, please.”

Squall frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. He thought about arguing against this decision, but he also figured that if Caraway supported this idea, it would be counterproductive to try to change his mind.

“Fine,” Squall said. “Zell will stay until you are done and see what he can find out from the security here and then both of you can report back to me at the hotel.”

“No problem,” Zell said. “Just leave this to us.”

Squall nodded and walked out of the room. Zell started to follow him, but paused just as he reached the doorway and looked over his shoulder at Caraway.

“You’re wrong about SeeD,” he said. “We can handle anything these guys throw at us. You’ll see.” Zell then walked out with a huff, and the corners of Caraway’s mouth turned slightly upward.

“I actually think he’ll be proven right,” he said. “He may be tactless, but he certainly has spirit and determination. That kind of energy is not always easy to find.”

“Yeah, so maybe you shouldn’t be so rough on him,” Rinoa said, putting her hands on her hips.

“Boys like him need someone to be a little rough on them so that they’ll think carefully about their mistakes and learn how to be better men,” Caraway replied. “I’ve seen it firsthand in my own regiments. It’s part of the reason why I am pleased that Commander Leonhart has remained in his position even after the battle with Ultimecia: because I believe that he is able to discern things like this as well.”

 Caraway sighed and moved to stand next to his daughter.

“Although, it does appear as if he has about as much success as I’ve had in reasoning with you,” he said. “Rinoa, I want you to be sure of what you’re doing. I know that you tend to let your heart guide you, but that is not always wise in situations like this. So tell me honestly, are you sure that you want to be involved in this kind of thing?”

Rinoa tensed up, a thousand sharp retorts on the tip of her tongue, but she managed to keep her cool.

“Of course I don’t want to be involved,” she said. “But that doesn’t mean that I can avoid it. I…I have to be able to take on this responsibility. If I can’t do something like this, how am I going to be able to handle the bigger stuff like dealing with my sorceress powers? How will I be able to stay with Squall and my friends if I can’t do my part?”

“Impressive,” Caraway said with a smile. “Even when you’re being grown up and responsible, you are living through your heart. Just like your mother.”

Caraway walked over to the door and opened it, holding out a hand toward the hallway.

“Let’s get this over with,” he said. “The sooner we can straighten things out around here, the sooner we can return our focus to more important matters.”

* * *

 

Once Squall made it back to the hotel, he immediately went to his room to check on Laguna. He opened the door and saw Selphie sitting next to him on the couch, her hand on his arm while Quistis sat at one of the tables, typing away on her laptop. As soon as they heard Squall enter, they all stood up to greet him.

“Squall,” Laguna said, rushing toward him. “Have you heard any news on Kiros? Is he….?”

“Irvine and Ward are at the hospital,” Squall said. “And no, I haven’t heard anything from them yet.”

“I can’t take this,” Laguna said, wringing his hands. “I can’t take not knowing. Squall, we should go there too.”

“No,” Squall said. “We only have a couple of soldiers stationed there and there are too many ways someone could sneak in for another attack. It’s safer for us to wait here until Irvine and Ward come back.”

“But I have to go,” Laguna insisted. “I have to know if he’s all right. And I should be there for Ward too.”

Squall turned his head and gritted his teeth. He tried to remember that Laguna had a valid reason to be worried and upset, and he tried to remember what Rinoa had told him about his father needing him right now. But in that moment, the only things he could focus on were the frustration and anxiety he felt over everything that had happened, and Laguna’s pleas only pushed those feelings closer to the surface.

“Why?” he answered. “So you can put Ward in danger too?” Laguna recoiled as if he had been slapped in the face.

“Squall, what are you….?”

“Haven’t you figured it out yet?” Squall snapped. “The reason Kiros is in the hospital is because you decided to ignore our instructions and act on your own. These people are serious about killing you, and they have no problems with taking out anyone who tries to stand in their way. That is why we are taking the precautions that we are, but you just keep brushing them aside, not caring how difficult that makes things for us”

“I…I was just trying to….”

“To help?” Squall interrupted. “You could have helped us by informing all of us of what you were planning and working with us to carry it out. Instead, you put yourself and one of my team in greater danger. Do you even realize how many problems this could create for Garden, not to mention Esthar? Or are you expecting your advisors and ministers to clean up any diplomatic messes for you? Is that how you normally handle things as president?”

“Squall!” Quistis said, crossing her arms over her stomach. “That’s too much.”

“It’s ok, Quistis” Laguna said, holding up a hand while taking another step toward Squall. “And I…I’m sorry Squall. You know me, I didn’t think things through. But please believe me, all I wanted was to keep you safe.” Laguna then placed his hand on Squall’s arm, but Squall shrugged his hand away and crossed his arms over his chest.

“How did you think it was going to be when you hired us, Laguna?” he said.  “We agreed to protect the president of Esthar at all costs, and that means putting our lives at risk if necessary. How do you think it makes us feel when you act like a bumbling idiot and make those risks even greater?”

“Enough!” Laguna said, his green eyes glittering with anger. “Maybe my plan didn’t work, but that doesn’t make me an idiot, and it doesn’t give you the right to talk to me that way. Like it or not, I’m still your father.” Squall met Laguna’s hostile glare with one of his own.

“Don’t,” Squall growled at him. “Don’t say that. You weren’t my father for seventeen years. You can’t just suddenly decide to be my father now. Besides, how much of this is really about being my father and not about your guilt over leaving Raine behind? Just because I might look like her doesn’t mean you can make things up to her through me.”

As soon as he said the words, Squall suspected that he had gone too far, and that was confirmed by the look of barely suppressed rage in Laguna’s features.

“How dare you?” Laguna said, his voice low and trembling with emotion. “How dare you make this about her? I have _never_ confused you with her. Not once. Raine had the wisdom to see people for who they really were and the heart to forgive them for their mistakes…unlike you.”

This time it was Squall’s turn to be shocked at both the fury in Laguna’s demeanor and at the words his father had just said to him. He took a step back unable to say anything as those words sank in. Suddenly, Selphie walked over and tried to put herself between them.

“Please, stop this,” Selphie begged. “Sir Laguna, I’m sure Squall didn’t mean….”

“Um, guys.”

Everyone turned their attention to the door to see a somber Irvine walking into the room with an even more distressed-looking Ward walking close behind him. Upon seeing them, Laguna immediately dashed over to Ward.

“Ward, what’s going on?” he asked. “How’s Kiros? Is he…?”

Ward looked away from Laguna for a moment, unable to face the pleading that was apparent in his old friend’s eyes. He then took a breath and finally turned his face toward him while placing a hand on his shoulder.

“….”

“No,” Laguna breathed. “That…that can’t be right. It’s a mistake.”

“….”

“I don’t believe it,” Laguna said. “And I won’t. Not until I see him myself. Take me to him.” Ward put his hands on Laguna’s upper arms and shook his head.

“….”

“No,” Laguna repeated. “I can’t…he can’t….”

Laguna staggered backwards, eventually collapsing onto one of the beds and putting his head into his hands. Ward walked over and sat down beside him, and Quistis motioned toward the door.

“I think we should leave,” she whispered. Everyone else nodded and filed out into the hallway with Quistis shutting the door behind her.

“Irvine,” Selphie said, her eyes growing wet. “It’s not true, is it? Is Kiros really gone?” Irvine shook his head and looked down at the carpet.

“I saw him,” he said. “I was there with Ward when they showed him the body. They acted like it was a miracle that he survived as long as he did, given his injuries.”

Selphie sniffled and Irvine pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her while Quistis and Squall bowed their heads. Irvine then guided Selphie away so they could be alone and Squall was about to head downstairs when a hand on his arm stopped him.

“Quistis?”

“Are you satisfied?” she asked. “It wasn’t enough for you that Laguna already felt terrible about what happened to Kiros, you had to make it worse. You had to remind him of the woman he loved and then lost, and as if that wasn’t enough, you had to take away one of the few things he has left: the hope that he could get a second chance with his son. Tell me, Squall, how much will be enough for you before he’s finally paid the price you’ve set on those years when he wasn’t there through no fault of his own?”

Squall frowned, but did not say anything in response. He knew that he probably deserved that after what he had just done. For a moment, he thought about going back to Laguna and telling him that he was sorry and asking if there was anything he could do. But then he thought about Kiros and realized that there was something far more important to him right now than winning his father’s forgiveness.

And that was saving his life.

“I’m going back to the pavilion,” he said. “Caraway said that Galbadian technicians were trying to piece the files Laguna was accessing back together, and I’m going to see if they’ve turned up anything.”

“Understood,” Quistis said, turning away from him. “I’ll continue to look into those para-magic reports. It’s possible that it might have something to do with our opponent’s next move. Especially since I found out that Sloclum Incorporated used to dabble in para-magic research on the side. It looks like you might be onto something with this lead.”

“Quistis….”

“Squall,” Quistis said, her posture stiffening. “I think you were right. I think we should just focus on the mission at hand and leave everything else for some other time. I…I’m not angry at you. I just don’t want to be around you right now.”

Quistis walked away, and Squall paused only for a moment before resuming his own path toward the pavilion. All of his instincts as a SeeD told him that he was doing the right thing by keeping a distance between himself and the person he was hired to protect.

But that was not enough to stop the small, nagging doubt inside him that insisted that he was making one of the worst mistakes of his life.

* * *

 

Back inside the hotel room, Ward found himself at a loss to know what to do next.

He watched Laguna’s shoulders hitch as he moved closer and closer to tears, and Ward could relate to the feeling. As soldiers, the three of them had always had the possibility that they could be separated by death at the back of their minds, but as the years wore on, that possibility had seemed like an increasingly remote one. Their lives in Esthar had made this seem even more unlikely, despite the fact that both he and Kiros had made the decision to guard Laguna with their lives after he became president.

Now that it was a reality, however, Ward found that being aware of this possibility for so many years had provided absolutely no comfort whatsoever.

Ward put a hand on Laguna’s shoulder, and Laguna leaned into the touch, but remained silent. He tried to think about what he could say to Laguna to help him through this, but nothing came to him, so he simply squeezed Laguna’s shoulder gently and brooded along with him.

He then thought about Kiros was usually the one who handled things like this. It was Kiros who had been able to get Laguna to start talking again after Raine died, and it was Kiros who was always there with just the right word or gesture after Laguna found out about Squall and struggled to deal with the rift between them. Ward considered Kiros and Laguna to be his closest friends in the world, and he knew that they felt the same about him, but he was also aware that what Kiros and Laguna shared went far beyond friendship and into brotherhood. The fact that they were not even remotely related by blood seemed trivial in the face of the bond between them.

“Mara needs to know,” Laguna croaked as he looked up at him. “Someone, someone has to tell her….”

‘ _It’s already done,’_ Ward silently communicated to Laguna. ‘ _I contacted her from the hospital.’_

“Oh, all right,” Laguna said, twisting his fingers in his lap. “I…I should have been the one to tell her, though. Even though I was the one who….”

‘ _Mara doesn’t blame you. You should know better than that by now.’_

“But she should,” Laguna insisted. “It’s my fault that her husband is dead. If…if it hadn’t been for me….”

Ward squeezed his shoulder again and shook his head, his expression stern. Both he and Kiros had often remarked to each other that they were lucky to find women who understood their friendship and their duty to Laguna and who were patient enough to endure all that that entailed. Ward also knew that his own wife, Temira, would not have blamed Laguna either if it had been him instead. He was grateful for that, because while he missed his friend, Ward had understood why Kiros did what he did perfectly because he knew that he would have done the exact same thing.  

‘ _I’ve already cancelled your speeches for tomorrow. You’ll have to show up, but that’s all you will have to do.’_

“Why do I have to show up at all?” Laguna asked him. “Why can’t I just….?”

‘ _You know why you have to go. And you know that Kiros would have agreed with me.’_

“Yeah,” Laguna said with a weak laugh. “He’d be kicking my butt if I didn’t go tomorrow. Seriously, he can be really annoying at times.”

Laguna looked like he was about to laugh again, but then he swallowed hard and drooped down toward the carpet.

“Ward,” he said, his voice watery. “I…I just want to be alone. Please.”

Ward nodded and patted his shoulder before standing up and walking to the door.

‘ _If you need anything….’_

“Yeah, I know you’re here,” Laguna said. “Thank you.”

Ward nodded again and slowly walked out of the room. He thought about going to the bar and getting drunk, but then he decided what he needed more was to contact Temira and hear her voice.

* * *

 

After Ward left, Laguna laid down on the bed and curled up into a ball. He wished that he could just close his eyes and then wake up with everything as it was before. Kiros would be there, chiding him for sleeping in, and Ward would threaten to dump a pile of paperwork on his head. He even wished that he could go back to when Squall was merely formal and awkward with him and that he could freeze everything thing to that point, so that time couldn’t change anything and he could be with his friends and hold onto the hope that he could work things out with his son.

Laguna’s vision wavered as the tears finally leaked out of his eyes. He knew that all the wishing in the world could not change the way things were now: his best friend was dead and his son despised him. If it seemed difficult to mend things with Squall before, it looked to be impossible now given what he had just said to his son in the heat of anger.

‘ _Raine, I wish you were here,’_ he thought mournfully. ‘ _You always knew what to say. You’d be able to fix things with him, I just know it.’_

Laguna buried his face against the sheets and began to weep even harder.

‘ _I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Kiros. Please come back. I can’t do this president thing without you, don’t you know that? Who’s going to help me keep track of all those council meetings? Who’s going to make sure I don’t forget all those appointments? Who’s going to be there to support me when it all gets too overwhelming?’_

_‘My son hates me…who’s going to help me learn to deal with that?’_

Laguna twisted his fingers into the sheets, bunching the fabric into his fists. He didn’t want to think about tomorrow or any other day.

All he had now was sorrow and that would be the only thing he would have for the rest of the night.

* * *

 

Sloclum laughed as he read the report for perhaps the umpteenth time. He had been disappointed that Danior’s men had not been able to take out Laguna, but the news of Kiros’ death had not been unwelcome.

‘ _Maybe this is even better,’_ he thought to himself. ‘ _Now Loire is starting to know what it’s like to lose the people closest to you. The fact that he will suffer this way before he dies will make his death all that much sweeter when it finally does happen.’_

“Sir.” Sloclum looked up to see Danior walking into his room.

“I see that your latest plan failed,” Sloclum said, pointing at the computer screen on the table in front of him.

“Unfortunately, but it couldn’t be helped,” Danior said. “Those idiots from that so-called resistance group have made it so that security has increased exponentially from where it was. Plus, I’m having to deal with an all-too-persistent Irvine Kinneas on my trail. I had to improvise and luckily for me, Loire is making it easy for me to do so.”

“It’s all right,” Sloclum said. “Getting rid of Seagill is a nice consolation prize in my book. That man has been a serious obstacle to my plans for a while now. Still, I am concerned about the fate of our main objective.”

“All is not lost,” Danior replied. “They still have not found out about the man I’ve replaced in Esthar’s security detail, and while they were able to find most of the listening devices I had planted, a couple of them eluded their search.”

“Have you gotten anything useful out of your surveillance?” Sloclum asked. Danior smiled and held up a transponder.

“There is one thing I think you might find interesting,” he said. Sloclum nodded and Danior pushed a button on the device which started a playback of various conversations within the hotel. Sloclum listened for several minutes and soon the grin returned to his face.

“So, Loire has a son,” he said. “A SeeD, no less. And he actually hired him to protect him at this conference.”

“That’s quite a piece of work,” Danior said. “Hiring your own son to take a bullet for you. Not to mention having your best friends act as bodyguards. I had no idea that the president of Esthar was such a coward.”

“I knew he was a coward the day he shot my father in the back,” Sloclum said, his features darkening for a moment. He then leaned back in his chair and tapped his fingertips together a few times before sitting back up.

“Danior, it’s time for us to change our strategy,” he said.

“Sir?”

“I now have far bigger plans for Loire than just killing him,” he said. “Also, I have a new target for you.”

“You don’t want me to eliminate Loire?” Danior asked, his brow furrowing. Sloclum laughed and waved his hand.

“Don’t worry, Loire’s time will come eventually,” he said. “I will see to that. And don’t look so disappointed. Maybe you won’t be able to take out the president of Esthar, but I am sure that killing the SeeD commander of Balamb Garden will be a worthy enough pursuit for you.”

Danior smiled again and Sloclum laughed again as he clicked a couple of keys on his computer and began to study the latest results from his experiment on the outskirts of Deling.

‘ _Loire, I am far from finished with you. By the end of this, you’ll be begging me to let you die. But who knows if I will be that merciful.’_

 _‘Maybe this is just the beginning….’_      


	12. Chapter 12

When he woke up the next morning, Squall was surprised at how quiet everything was, and he found the silence soothing as he sat up and ran a hand through his hair.

He had gone back to the pavilion and spent hours going over everything the techs were able to find from the obliterated hard drives from the security computers Laguna had accessed. Squall had hoped that if he could access the same information Laguna had, he might be able to find a reason why Danior’s men had made sure to destroy the computers when they attacked him.

‘ _If it was just about killing Laguna, they wouldn’t have wasted their time on that. But Laguna mentioned that they seemed pretty intent on making sure that he didn’t get a chance to make a copy of whatever it was he was downloading at the time. So what was so important about it?’_

Squall rubbed his eyes and yawned. The techs were able to figure out that Laguna had accessed the city-wide security system and had focused on the area around the pavilion. Squall suspected that his father had tried to get footage from the days right before and during the conference, but most of that information had been destroyed. The techs also mentioned that there were other copies, but access to them was limited and would take special authorization in order for them to be made available to SeeD.

‘ _If Galbadia is anything like Esthar or even Garden, getting the paperwork through for that will take days…days we don’t have,’_ Squall told himself. ‘ _If only Laguna had managed to save that storage device….’_

Squall frowned and flopped back against the couch. After arguing with Laguna and talking to Quistis, he decided to keep working on this assignment, partially to try to solve this mystery but also so he could avoid another confrontation with his father. At one point, Rinoa stopped by, and he told her about what happened to Kiros, but then brushed off the rest of her questions with the excuse that he needed to work. She had voiced plenty of concerns with more than a little disappointment in her tone, but she eventually gave him his space and went back to the hotel while Squall ended up spending the rest of the night at the pavilion and sleeping on a couch in the security break room.

He glanced up at the clock and saw that he had a couple more hours before the closing ceremonies were to due to start. General Caraway had been successful in convincing the people in charge of the conference that it was important to show solidarity and strength so as to demonstrate to the world that minor terrorist attacks like the ones that had happened thus far would have no sway over the burgeoning alliances that were forming between the countries that were represented at this event. Some of the more frivolous activities, including President Loire’s talk on the future of Esthar’s cultural outreach program, were cancelled today out of respect for the loss the Esthar delegation had suffered. Instead, there was to be a more informal gathering in the main hall along with the scheduled closing ceremony which would include a moment of silence for Minister Seagill.

Squall figured that he had enough time to run back to the hotel so he could freshen up and change before coming back here to get the team ready to guard Laguna and Ward at the conference until it was time to escort them back to Esthar. Even though it hadn’t been expressly stated yet, Squall suspected that SeeD would be asked to continue their investigation into the people who had killed Kiros and who had tried to kill Laguna, and that they would quickly come to terms on an expansion of their contract with Esthar.

‘ _But this time I should stay out of the investigation,’_ Squall thought to himself. ‘ _Laguna is probably going to be the one to hire us for this, and there’s no way that things could remain strictly professional between us in that situation.’_

Squall sighed and leaned forward, putting his head in his hands. Despite his determination to focus on the investigation last night, he hadn’t been able to erase the memory of the anger in Laguna’s eyes during their argument or of the anguish on his father’s face when he heard about Kiros. They were a like a lead ball sinking into him and weighing him down.

_“How much will be enough for you before he’s finally paid the price you’ve set on those years when he wasn’t there through no fault of his own?”_

_‘Is that what I’ve been doing?’_ Squall asked himself. _‘Setting a price for Laguna to pay for my childhood? How much is a life spent without parents or anyone to rely on worth?’_

_‘How much is enough to pay for something like that?’_

Squall moved his hands from his head and drew his arms close to his body. He remembered Rinoa, Ellone and Kiros all asking him to give Laguna a chance and how he had agreed to do it, but now he wondered if he had ever intended to follow through with those promises or if he was already drawing up this bill for Laguna in the back of his mind. He then mulled over how much his father had had to endure in his own life.

 _‘Laguna…he lost his wife and the child he had practically adopted in one swoop,’_ Squall pondered. _‘He was alone, like me. And then, years later, he finds out that he had also lost the child he had had with Raine. What kind of price could someone put on something like that?’_

Squall sighed again and sat back up, his arms still curled protectively around his chest. At that moment, he wasn’t sure which was worse: growing up without a family at all or building a family only to have it ripped away. Squall could remember bits and pieces of how he dealt with not having a family as a child and how it slowly changed him, and he wondered how Laguna had been able to cope with it while still remaining the same as he had been before, at least on the surface anyway.

_“But I guess that just shows that many times, we aren’t alone as we think we are….That often, someone is just around the corner and it’s only a matter of holding on until we reach it.”_

_‘Is that how Laguna thinks? Does he live his life thinking that someone will always be there and that things will get better eventually, no matter how horrible life becomes?’_

Squall frowned and let his arms fall to his sides. He was pretty sure that he couldn’t take such a rigorously optimistic stance all the time the way Laguna did, but he couldn’t deny that there was a lot of wisdom behind his father’s words, and he felt another pang of regret over how he had kept referring to him as an idiot and a fool.

‘ _He’s clumsy and overenthusiastic at times….but he probably was never stupid,’_ Squall told himself. ‘ _He held rank in the Galbadian army, organized a successful rebellion against Adel, and ran an entire country for years. Sure, he probably had a lot of help, but he would have had to do a lot of this stuff on his own too.’_

_‘Was I really that determined to see the worst in him? Was it worth it just to keep him from getting too close?’_

Squall knew the answer to that question as soon as it appeared in his mind, and he decided that he had made far too many mistakes ever since he got involved with this mission, and not the ones he had originally thought he had. He then decided that, as soon as this was over, and if Laguna was willing, the two of them would sit down for one last talk. He would tell his father that he was sorry for everything he said and give him his condolences for Kiros. He would then let Laguna know that he was willing to let go of the past and forgive him for it. Squall was certain that it would not be enough to even begin to make up for all the hurt and sorrow that Laguna was grappling with right now, but he hoped that it would give him some comfort to know that his son would not spend the rest of his days resenting him.

 The only question that remained was would Laguna even want to speak to him again after last night.

_“Raine had the wisdom to see people for who they really were and the heart to forgive them for their mistakes…unlike you.”_

Squall winced as those words echoed in his mind. Normally, he did his best to remain indifferent when people accused him of being cold, unfeeling or some other related idea. It was often a convenient way to avoid interacting with people any more than he needed to, and he made sure to take advantage of it. Still, Squall couldn’t help but feel an ache in his heart at the idea that Laguna thought things like that about him. At first, he tried to rationalize that it was that same part of himself that he always hated that worried too much about what others thought of him. But something about those words coming from Laguna made them far more hurtful than they should have been.

It was then that Squall realized what his heart had tried to warn him last night: that he was about to lose something, something unfamiliar and indefinable, but still precious to him all the same. He curled one hand into a fist and pounded it against the cushions.

‘ _It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t,’_ he told himself. ‘ _I learned to live without parents before, and I can do it now. Especially now because I’m not a child anymore.’_

Squall pounded his fist down again. It was easy to rely on these tired ideas and to try to make this about him and how he felt. Far easier than to admit that he was starting to believe that Laguna would have been far better off if he had never found out about him, if he still believed that Ellone was the only chance to be a parent that he would ever have.

Squall took a deep breath and relaxed his hands before standing up. He knew he would have to move quickly if he wanted to have time to visit the hotel before coming back here and he figured that now was just as good as time as any to begin facing the day ahead of him.

* * *

 

A short time later, Danior smiled as he approached the pavilion. He continued to marvel at how the Esthar soldiers had overlooked his presence, but he also knew that they were distracted right now. There had been two attempts on their beloved president over the last two days and now one of their top ministers was dead. It made the men hyper-vigilant and aggressive, but it also made them jumpy, irritable and had lowered their morale.

‘ _The elite of Esthar,’_ Danior snorted to himself. ‘ _Once the world feared you. But after hiding under your rock and letting a soft, cowardly, fool like Loire lead you for so long, you’ve become just like him: soft and foolish.’_

Danior adjusted the helmet on his head and watched as the soldiers were assigned to their various posts in and around the building. He remembered what Sloclum had told him about their new game-plan, and while he didn’t get why Sloclum wanted to go through with such an elaborate plot, he had to admit that he was looking forward to the challenge and to seeing the look on Laguna’s face once his part was completed.

Danior was so busy going over the plan and reveling in what appeared to be his inevitable triumph, he did not notice a tall figure standing a few feet away from him, his appearance completely hidden by the long, black cloak that covered him. The figure remained still and silent and waited until Danior had gone into the pavilion before shuffling away at a steady, but labored pace.

* * *

 

Inside the pavilion, Laguna sat in a corner of the main hall, tugging at the sleeves of his suit jacket and struggling against the torpor that he was currently mired in.

When he had first arrived, many of the delegates immediately approached him to offer their condolences for the loss of his close aide. Laguna made sure to accept these gestures of sympathy with as much grace as he could, but secretly he hated how shallow their words were and wished that they would stop reminding him of what had happened. After that ordeal was over, he tried to look for Ellone, but Ward told him that she had been sent to Garden, which was still on the outskirts of Deling, as a precautionary measure and that she would be waiting there to meet with him after the conference was over so they could both return to Esthar together.

The one greeting he had been happy to receive had been from Rinoa, Quistis, Zell, and Selphie. All of them had showed up at the hotel to accompany him to the pavilion and had spent several minutes with him alone to express their sorrow over Kiros’ death and to offer their support if he needed anything. Laguna could tell that their sentiments were genuine and he was grateful that he had gotten a chance to get to know them as friends over these past few days.

Laguna couldn’t help but notice, however, two people who were missing from their group and had asked Selphie about it.

“Squall contacted us this morning and said that he’d meet us there,” she informed him. “And Irvine is still off doing Hyne knows what. All I can say is he better not finish Danior off by himself, because I want a piece of him too.”

Laguna tried to smile, inwardly shuddering at the possibilities Selphie could have in mind if she did manage to catch up with the man. But then he remembered how Danior was probably responsible for Kiros’ death and his expression darkened.

“I wouldn’t mind meeting up with him myself,” he muttered, clenching his hands. Selphie noticed the gesture and put her hand on his arm.

“Sir Laguna, we will get him, I promise,” she assured him. “We won’t let him get away with what he did. Just leave it to us.” Laguna let out a sigh and put one of his hands over hers.

“Thank you, Selphie,” he said. “All of you…you’ve been great throughout this whole thing. I wish I could do more to thank you besides just paying your fee.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Selphie said with a grin. “We’re friends, right? Friends help each other out. Although…if you would _really_ like to do _me_ a favor….”  Laguna scratched the back of his head.

“Oh, ok,” he said. “I might be able to arrange it so you can at least see the movie. But, I am still serious about letting those copies rot away in that vault.”

“Yay, thanks,” Selphie said, clapping her hands. “This will be the best movie night ever. Irvine will love it.”

“W-wait,” Laguna stuttered. “I thought it was just going to be you watching it.”

“Of course it won’t be just me, Sir Laguna,” Selphie said. “Movies are always more fun if you have someone to watch them with. I’ll be sure to bring the popcorn.”

Laguna held out a hand and watched her skip away to another part of the main hall. He was about to go after her when he felt another hand on his arm, and he turned to see that it was Rinoa.

“Laguna,” she said softly. “Quistis told me about last night, about what happened between you and Squall.” Laguna looked down at the floor.

“It’s nothing, really,” he said. “I should have known that it wouldn’t work out. I just hope that I get a chance to apologize before we go back to….”

“You shouldn’t apologize to him,” Rinoa said as she put her hands on her hips and scowled. “Squall was being a big meanie. He should be the one saying sorry to you.” Laguna opened his mouth to argue, but stopped when Rinoa put her hand back on his arm.

“Please don’t give up,” she insisted. “I know that Squall can be harsh and distant, but he only pushes that hard when he’s scared. I’m sure that he cares about you; it’s just, it’s so difficult for him to deal with feelings like that. And he probably won’t ever say it, but, truthfully, he needs you.”

“Rinoa, thank you,” Laguna said with a weak smile. “For listening to me and for all of your kind words. But to be honest, I don’t think Squall really needs anyone. Especially not a sorry excuse for a father like me. I think it would be better if I just go back to Esthar after this is over and leave him alone from now on.”

“Laguna, don’t say that. Please, if you just give him one more chance, I know he will….”

“I, I’m sorry, Rinoa,” Laguna said, turning away from her. “I just…I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

“Laguna….”

“Please,” Laguna murmured before walking away. “Please take care of my son.”  

* * *

 

Three hours later, Laguna continued to listlessly watch the people milling around him. Even though Caraway had been able to convince most of the delegates to attend the closing ceremonies, many of the people who showed up were accompanied by either bodyguards or soldiers, and the tension surrounding them was more than slightly palpable. Ordinarily, Laguna would have tried to do something to alleviate this tension, but right now he was too lethargic to do much of anything.

 After a night spent in mourning, it had taken almost all of his strength to get up the next day and prepare himself to make his final appearance at the conference. He briefly thought about throwing on another tee shirt and a pair of jeans, but then decided on the black suit he had worn to the ball.

‘ _Kiros was always after me to try to dress like a president once in a while. The least I can do is put forth the effort today. He…he would have appreciated it.’_

As he put the suit on, he tried to not think about the fact that the real reason he chose it was because the black color was a perfect match for the way he felt inside right now. Once he was done, he had studied himself in the mirror. A large part of him wanted to crawl back into bed and weep some more, but instead he reached up to tug at his tie.

‘ _I can’t just pull a blanket over my head and hide forever. I still have this job to do, so I better keep on doing the best I can. I owe Kiros that much anyway.’_

As the day wore on, however, Laguna found it increasingly hard to maintain his usual congenial demeanor, especially when he started to think about what would happen once the conference was over. He would return to Esthar with Ward and would have to arrange for Kiros’ funeral. That meant facing Kiros’ wife, Mara, and being confronted yet again with his own loss and the guilt he  carried over being the cause of his dear friend’s death.

Even worse than any of that though was the fact that, once all of this was over, life would have to go on. He would still have to continue his work as the president of Esthar and find a way to make it through each day, but now he would be even more alone than he was before.

Laguna felt a hand squeeze his shoulder, and he looked up to see Ward gazing down at him, concern evident in every line of his expression. Laguna gave him a small smile in return. He pondered how Ward was the only reason he was able to keep this up, and he started to wonder how he had earned such a loyal friend. He started to turn his face back toward the crowd, but Ward tapped his shoulder, causing him to look back up at him.

“….”

“No, you go,” Laguna replied. “I’m not really that hungry right now.”

“….”

“Ok, I’ll make sure to have something later, all right?” Laguna sighed. “Maybe when I meet up with Elle.”

“….”

“Don’t worry,” Laguna said. “Quistis and Selphie are only a few feet away, and Squall is watching me from behind that pillar. I’ll be fine.” 

Ward gave him one last stern nod before heading over toward the bar to get himself a drink and a snack. After he left, Laguna glanced over to see Squall scrutinizing the people around him, his expression cool and stoic.

‘ _He didn’t come back to the hotel room last night. But then again, after what I said to him, who could blame him? I pretty much called him a heartless jerk. That’s not something a father should say to his own son. Especially after all the trouble and pain I caused him in the past…and keep causing him now.’_

Laguna ran a hand down his face and wished that he had told Ward to get him a drink from the bar. He knew that Ward would have probably refused, given his well-established intolerance for alcohol, but Laguna longed for some way to escape the emptiness that he had been fighting for months and that now threatened to swallow him whole.

Suddenly, a flash of movement caught his eye, and Laguna cocked his head to watch a man dressed in a uniform hastily move past the entrance with a box wrapped in brown paper. Ordinarily, a deliveryman weaving through a crowd of people would not garner much notice, but for some reason his instincts as a soldier, which were never completely dormant, started to stir. As he tried to pinpoint the source of his apprehension, it suddenly occurred to Laguna that the man was not heading down the service corridors, like he normally would.

Squall had apparently had the same apprehensions because he immediately marched over to Laguna while motioning at Quistis and Selphie with his hands.  Laguna stood up, and Squall grabbed his arm.

“Stay behind me,” he hissed as he yanked Laguna closer to him. Squall then moved to stand in front of Laguna and reached for his gunblade. Laguna was about to protest, when suddenly the deliveryman lunged toward the center of the room and threw the box in his hands. Less than a second after it hit the floor, there was a flash of light and an explosion.

The people closest to the explosion were flung a couple feet away while Squall and Laguna were thrown off their feet and onto the ground, the Lionheart sailing out of Squall’s hands and clattering along the floor. Many other people yelled and screamed and ran for the entrance, only to run into a mixture of bodyguards and soldiers that had accompanied the delegates to the pavilion. As a result, people swarmed about in all directions with no one really knowing where to go.

Laguna groaned as he sat up and put a hand to his head. He glanced over to see Squall do almost the same exact thing. He then crawled closer to Squall and put his hand on his son’s shoulder.

“Squall….”

“Laguna,” Squall said, shaking his hand away and swiveling toward him. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” Laguna said. “Just a little shook up. I think it was just a flash bomb.”

“It was,” Squall frowned. “But why?”

Laguna shrugged his shoulders, his head snapping back up as the sound of people yelling and scrambling about continued to fill the air. He saw Quistis and Selphie chase after the guy who had brought the bomb into the pavilion, and he wondered where Ward was.

“Mr. President, are you all right?”

Squall and Laguna looked over to see a pair of Esthar soldiers rushing toward them. Laguna was about to answer when, suddenly, something clicked in his mind. He thought back to the security footage he had seen the previous night and he finally realized what had bothered him about it. In the video, he had seen one of the guards go down an alley and when he reappeared he had somehow grown several inches from a few minutes prior.

Laguna’s eyes widened as he also realized that that same soldier was heading toward him now.

“Squall!” Laguna said, reaching over to grab his shoulder. “That soldier….”

Laguna never had a chance to finish his sentence. The taller soldier turned and shot the other one and then discarded the Estharian riffle he had been carrying. The sound of the shot increased the intensity of the chaos in the room and neither Squall nor Laguna could see any familiar faces around them. The man then pulled off his helmet and pulled out a gunblade of his own, grinning as he pointed it at Squall.

“You’re Danior, aren’t you?” Squall growled at him.

“I’m honored,” Danior said, his grin growing. “I don’t often get to meet my targets in person, but I’m flattered that the SeeD commander of Balamb Garden knows who I am…not that it will matter to you for much longer.”

Squall reached down for his weapon, his eyes registering confusion for only a second before glancing behind him and then regaining their stony impassiveness as he turned back toward Danior.

“Too bad, I would have liked to have had a duel with you,” Danior snickered. “But don’t worry about your gunblade. I’ll be sure to keep it as a souvenir after I kill you.”

Laguna’s eyes widened in horror as he watched this scene play out in front of him. When he saw Danior pull out his gunblade, he tensed up and tried to think of a way to get out of the line of fire. But as soon he saw Danior turn his blade toward Squall, Laguna was convinced that his son was the actual target.

He then watched as Squall held out one of his hands back behind him, still motioning for him to stay back. Laguna saw the way that Squall was shifting his position, and he could guess what Squall was thinking.

‘ _He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know that he is Danior’s target this time. He’s still trying to protect me, and now he’s going to try to take Danior unarmed so that I’ll have a chance to get away. He’s going to sacrifice himself for me because that’s his job.’_

Laguna felt his throat become dry and tight, the pounding of his heart roaring in his ears.

‘ _No…no, he may be fulfilling his duty as a SeeD, but he is still my son. No matter what he thinks of me, no matter what he says, he is still my child.’_

_‘And I am still his father.’_

_‘I can’t let him do this.’_

Squall was just about to tackle Danior when Laguna suddenly sprang forward and shoved him to the side. In that same moment, Danior pulled the trigger of his gunblade three times.

It had only taken seconds, but for Squall, it seemed like time stood still as he watched the bullets slam into Laguna’s body and his father was sent sprawling onto the floor. Laguna convulsed as he fell onto his back, but once he hit the ground, he was still.

‘ _No!’_ Squall’s mind screamed at him. ‘ _No…he can’t….he can’t….’_

 _‘…Dad!’_      


	13. Chapter 13

Squall trembled, his lips parting with only a soft, strangled cry coming out. He slid over across the floor toward Laguna and was about to reach for him when Danior’s laughter, loud and mocking, rang in his ears. Squall spun back around to see Danior aiming his weapon at him.

“How touching,” he snickered. “The great president of Esthar sacrificing himself for his long-lost son. My orders were to kill you and take Loire alive, but honestly, I think this will be a much more satisfying outcome.”

Squall glared at him, determined not to show the slightest bit of fear or sorrow that would only feed into his opponent’s feelings of triumph. Danior’s finger moved back onto the trigger, and Squall readied himself to try and dodge.

Just as he was about to pull the trigger, there was a muffled boom, and Squall heard the wall next to him crack. Danior’s entire body shuddered, his mouth opening wide with no sound coming out. Squall watched as a red bloom appeared on Danior’s chest where his heart should be. Danior then dropped his gunblade and fell to his knees before landing face-first onto the floor. Squall looked up to the balconies above and caught a glimpse of a rifle being pulled back and figure wearing a black hat and a long tan coat retreating into the shadows.

‘ _Irvine….’_

* * *

 

Up in the balconies, Irvine ran, anger contorting his features. He had gotten the tip to look for a suspicious Esthar soldier and was able to position himself so that the entire main hall was open to him, but the people running about made it impossible for him to get a clear shot at his target before Danior had already had a chance to act.

‘ _Dammit, I wasn’t fast enough. I should have gotten Danior before he shot Laguna. It’s my fault if he dies.’_

Irvine clenched his hands tightly as he ran. He knew that there was nothing else he could do here, and so he decided to follow through with the next part of his plan.

‘ _Time to find Sloclum…I just hope my “partner” is as right about this as he was about Danior….’_

* * *

 

A soft gasp beside him prompted Squall to turn his attention back to his father. He looked down to see that Laguna’s eyes were open and that he was shivering violently, his blood beginning to pool on the floor underneath him. Squall ripped Laguna’s jacket and shirt open and was horrified to see more than one bullet wound in his father’s abdomen. Laguna started to cough, blood dribbling out of his mouth, and Squall pulled off his tie and bunched into a makeshift compress. He pressed down onto Laguna’s chest, and his father groaned and started to squirm away from him.

“Laguna, hold still,” Squall ordered. “I know it hurts, but I have to try to stop this bleeding.”

“S’alright,” Laguna moaned. “My fault…did what you could….”

Squall gritted his teeth and pushed down harder. He wanted to argue with Laguna, remind him that it was his mission to keep him safe and that he had failed to do so. But then he realized that none of that mattered. It did not change the fact that his father was dying from bullets that were meant for him.

“I need a medic,” Squall yelled some soldiers who were rushing past him. “He’s been shot.” He then heard his father cough and moan again, and he noted that Laguna’s struggles against his grip were weakening.

“Squall….” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Don’t talk,” Squall barked at him. “Just concentrate on breathing.”

“C-can’t,” Laguna stuttered out. “Hurts…Hyne, it hurts….”

Squall pushed down even more, but he knew that he was fighting a losing battle. Blood oozed out between his fingers, and he could feel the shivers of shock dissolve away as Laguna lost the strength to move.

“Somebody help, please,” Squall yelled again, his voice starting to lose its steady tone. He saw a pair of Esthar soldiers appeared in front of him for a moment before running off, supposedly to call for a transport to the hospital.

‘ _Why?’_ Squall thought, his eyes filling with a burning wetness. ‘ _Why didn’t he listen to me? Why didn’t he stay behind me?’_

 “Squall,” Laguna murmured again. “I’m…sorry…for everything….”

“I said, don’t talk,” Squall roared with more anger than he had intended. He looked away from Laguna’s face and scanned the crowd frantically. Where were the medics? Why wasn’t anyone trying to help him? Didn’t anyone care that Laguna Loire, the president of Esthar and one of the most powerful men in the world, was dying in the middle of the room?

“Really are…so much like her….” Squall looked back down to see Laguna cough and then smile at him.

“What?” Squall said, his voice cracking slightly. Laguna groaned and reached for Squall’s hands.

“Like Raine,” he whispered. “So…like her…..” The light was starting to fade in Laguna’s eyes, and Squall knew that he was losing him.

“Laguna, hold on,” Squall insisted. “Help is coming.” Laguna tried to cough again, but choked and clutched at Squall’s wrist. More blood flowed out from his lips.

“Sq-Squall,” he gasped. “I…I…lo-lov-….”

Laguna make a faint gargling sound before his eyes rolled back and slid shut, his head flopping to the side. Squall’s mouth fell open, and he shook Laguna while still holding a hand over the wounds.

“Laguna! Laguna, wake up,” he nearly shouted. “Open your eyes. Laguna!”

“Squall!”

Squall looked up to see Rinoa rushing toward him. As soon as she saw Laguna, her hand went to her mouth and she dropped down to kneel beside him.

“Rinoa,” Squall said. “Please, bring him back. Help me save him.”

“So much blood,” she whispered, tears in her eyes. “Squall, I…I don’t know if I can….”

“Try, please try,” Squall begged. Rinoa looked into his eyes and swallowed hard before moving the hand from her face, her own eyes shining with determination behind the tears.

“All right,” she said. She nudged Squall’s hands away cupped her fingers above the wounds in Laguna’s chest. Soon, a soft blue light began to glow near her palms, the light spreading onto the body below her. Squall stared at Laguna, his vision growing increasingly distorted from the moisture flooding his eyes. He looked for any sign of life or movement, but found none.

“Rinoa,” he breathed. “Please….”

The light around Rinoa’s hands intensified, turning from blue to white, and Squall could feel the warmth emanating from it. He watched as the streaks in her hair grew lighter and her eyes lit up with an ocean-blue light that engulfed the pupil and iris. Squall saw a pair of white feathers flutter down and looked to see the light pulse onto Laguna’s chest and the wounds shrivel and close. The light then faded around them, and Squall nearly fell over when he saw Laguna’s chest start to rise and fall, short, weak breaths fighting their way out of his mouth.

“Laguna,” Squall murmured, placing his hand onto Laguna’s arm. Rinoa spread her hands out, the light dissipating and disappearing with a few more feathers floating around her, and then she slumped down. Squall let go of Laguna and grabbed her arms.

“Rinoa, are you all right?” Rinoa let out a sigh and raised her head, her eyes and hair back to normal.

“I...I think so, yes,” she said. “Squall, that…that was….”

“You did it,” he said, his hold relaxing. “He’s breathing.”

“Oh, thank Hyne,” she said, a pair of tears sliding out of her eyes. “Squall, I could feel it. I could feel how close he was to death.”

“But you brought him back, right?” Squall asked her.

“Yes, but just barely,” she answered. “He’s still lost a lot of blood, and he’s very weak. He needs more medical attention or he still might die. Squall, where….?”

The sound of a guttural roar and additional screams interrupted her, and Squall and Rinoa looked up to see the crowd fleeing from the entrance. They soon realized why when a pack of wendigos burst into the room. The soldiers scattered about immediately opened fire on them, but their efforts were hindered by the speed at which they moved and by the other people who ran into them in a desperate effort to get away.

Squall reached down again for his gunblade and then remembered that it was about three feet away from him. The wendigos turned their focus toward them and roared again while shaking their massive arms about.

“Rinoa! Squall yelled as he made a leap for his weapon. Rinoa put up her hands and instantly a ball of light appeared in front of her.

“Protect,” she shouted, a blue concave shield of light appearing in front of her. One of the wendigos beat its large green fists against it and roared in frustration when it made contact with the spell.

Squall grabbed his gunblade and jumped to his feet to charge them when one of the wendigos dashed over to snatch up Laguna from the floor and throw him over its shoulder. The wendigo then ran off with two more following close behind while the rest of them blocked Squall’s path. Rinoa released a series of meltdown spells while Squall cast aura on himself and leapt into the air to use his Fated Circle attack on them. The grey circle of light wiped out the rest of the monsters, and Squall ran after the wendigos that had fled, but they swiftly retreated out the door and into the alleyways near the pavilion before disappearing from sight.  

Squall ran out into the middle of the courtyard in front of the pavilion and whirled around, his gunblade still drawn. He panted as he searched the area for any sign of the wendigos, but saw nothing that indicated where they went.

Squall!”

Squall turned back toward the building to see Zell, Quistis and Rinoa running up to him.

“Selphie and I got the bomber,” Quistis said. “She’s got him custody now.”

“Ward’s safe too,” Zell reported. “I was able to get him out of harm’s way as soon as it all went down.”

“Squall, where’s Laguna?” Quistis asked. Rinoa put her hands to her mouth, her eyes downcast.

“Squall?” Zell said, confused by the anxious, frustrated expression on Squall’s face. Squall turned back out at the city skyline, one hand balling into a fist while the other hand gripped the hilt of his gunblade so tightly, Rinoa thought it might crack.

“They’ve got him,” Squall said quietly. “Whoever is behind all this…they have Laguna now.”

* * *

 

A short while later, Squall, Rinoa, Quistis, Selphie, Zell and Ward were holed up in one of the conference rooms at the pavilion, studying Quistis’ laptop.

“We weren’t able to get anything useful out of the guy we captured,” Quistis reported. “Apparently, he was just one of Danior’s lackeys, and a low-level one at that. He didn’t even know who had hired Danior.”

“I still say we should have pulled out Ifrit on him,” Selphie pouted, kicking at the carpet. “Just to make sure he didn’t know anything else.”

“What about those wendigos?” Zell said. “I’ve seen plenty of ‘em in the field and they’re never that organized. They’re usually out to tear you apart.”

“That is odd,” Quistis said, folding her arms over her chest. “I’ve not heard about anyone actually training monsters to act with such precision.”

“What about in Esthar?” Rinoa asked. “Ward, you’ve got some of the best scientists in the world there, including Dr. Odine. Have any of them been involved in something like that?”

Ward reached over and typed onto a keypad that displayed his words on a monitor on the wall.

“ _Not Odine. He usually wasn’t interested in monsters. But there have been others who have been involved in research like that.”_

 _“_ What about Sloclum?” Squall asked. “Was this his area of interest?”

“ _I’m not sure,”_ Ward typed. “ _That is the kind of thing Kiros usually kept track of. It would probably be in his files.”_

“Can you access them on our computer?” Quistis asked, pushing her laptop toward him. Ward nodded and positioned the keyboard in front of him. He tapped away at the keys until finally the screen was filled with the crest of the Presidential Palace of Esthar. Suddenly a box popped up.

“A password,” Quistis said.

“Do you know it, Ward?” Selphie asked.

“ _I think so,”_ Ward typed on the keypad. “ _Kiros gave me a hint to it so I could figure it out in case of an emergency. It took me a while, but I think I solved it.”_

Ward paused, his hands hovering over the keyboard for a moment before he began typing again. After a few key strokes, the box was filled in.

“ _Contiami?”_ Squall read on the screen. “What does that mean?” Ward fidgeted and averted his eyes back at the screen as he hit the enter key.

“ _It’s an old word from the native language of Kiros’ people,”_ Ward replied. “ _As for what it means…you’ll have to ask Laguna about that. It’s kind of personal, so I don’t think it’s my place to tell you.”_

A second later, a cluster of file folders appeared on the screen. Ward scanned the titles before clicking on one of them. He then passed the laptop back to Quistis and she started to open up various documents.

“It doesn’t look like Sloclum was involved in monster research,” she said as she read. “But, there are references here to other scientists who worked with Odine who were given private grants to look into monster behavior with emphasis on modification.”

“So maybe one of them is working with this Sloclum guy,” Zell said.

“Maybe,” Quistis shrugged. “Although it looks like Sloclum’s primary research interest was in para-magic and dimensional portals, like the ones GFs often use to enter our world and help us fight.”

“Hey, wait a minute,” Rinoa said. “Didn’t you say that there had been some reports of para-magic activity in town? Maybe that could give us an idea of where they are hiding out.”

“Good idea,” Quistis nodded. “Let me pull up those reports and see what locations were involved.”

Quistis started to type some more, and Selphie, Zell and Ward watched the results crop up. Meanwhile, Squall walked off to the side of the room and stared out the window. Rinoa took notice and walked over to join him.

“Squall?” she said. “What is it? Are you thinking about Laguna?” Squall let out a long sign and curled his hands tight.

“I don’t understand,” he said. “He hired us to protect him at this conference, and yet he…. He’s the president of Esthar. He has responsibilities as a result of his position. So why wouldn’t he let me protect him?”

“I think you already know the answer to that, Squall,” Rinoa said, curling her arms around one of his. “So there’s no point in fighting it.” Squall’s shoulders slumped down and he leaned against the window frame.

“What, just because he’s my father?” he said. “But that doesn’t make any sense either. He didn’t even know of my existence a year ago, and now he’s…he let himself get…. And for what? It’s not like I was close to him. I wasn’t even really that nice to him. Are you saying that he put himself between me and Danior just because we happen to share some biological ties?”

“I don’t think it’s really a matter of choice,” Rinoa said softly, caressing Squall’s arm even tighter. “I think some parents simply love their children because it’s in their nature. It’s not a case of choosing to love them for one reason or another. It’s more like the love comes first and then the reasons follow…And I think that’s especially true for someone like Laguna.”

‘ _Someone like Laguna.’_ Squall didn’t have to ask what she meant by that because he already knew. He had seen it in every glimpse that he had gotten of Laguna’s past and had observed it during these last few days he had spent with his father. No matter what life threw at him, no matter how others treated him, Laguna always seemed to maintain his positive disposition and was willing to forgive the people around him. It was then that Squall finally understood what it was that drew people to Laguna, as a friend, as a leader and, in the case of both his and Rinoa’s mother, as a lover. It wasn’t just his cheery optimism or his acts of bravery. It was because of his heart, a heart that was filled with seemingly infinite amounts of compassion and love, a heart that was big enough to give him the strength to bear the weight of responsibility for so many other people’s happiness and wellbeing.

Squall also knew now that this was why Laguna’s words the night before had hurt so much. The idea that someone like Laguna, who was so generous and slow to anger, could think those things about him was painful to consider. The fact that Laguna was his father only intensified that hurt. Squall knew that, if he was being honest with himself, he would have to admit that he had actually been afraid to face his father for that one last conversation after the conference: afraid that Laguna would still refuse to forgive him and afraid of the rejection he would feel.

‘ _Like I rejected him?’_ Squall asked himself. ‘ _Like how I refused to forgive him for everything that happened in the past? Why should Laguna be willing to do for me what I couldn’t bring myself to do for him?’_

It was this fear that had made him even more distant from Laguna earlier that day, and the more he thought about it, the more Squall had wondered if he had finally managed to push his way out of Laguna’s heart for good. Laguna’s acts today, however, were definitive proof that his father still cared about him and loved him, and Squall’s heart ached at the possibility that he might never have a chance to apologize for how he had acted and to make his peace with him.

“Do you…do you think he’s all right?” Rinoa whispered. “Do you think they….?”

“No, I don’t think they’ll kill him,” Squall answered. “At least, not right away. Danior said specifically that his orders were to take Laguna alive, so I doubt that whoever this is would instruct Danior and a bunch of specially conditioned wendigos to kidnap Laguna if they were just going to kill him on the spot.”

Rinoa nodded, seemingly satisfied with that answer, although Squall found himself wondering if he had said that to comfort her or himself.

“Ok, so from what I’ve seen, there are three possible locations we should look at,” Quistis said, looking up from her screen. Squall and Rinoa turned away from the window and rejoined the group.

“That’s too many places for us to check out,” Selphie said. “We’d have to split up and that’s probably not a good idea. There might be a bunch more henchmen or monsters at their hideout.”

“She’s right,” Squall said. “We need to find a way to narrow it down even more.”

“I think I can help with that.”

Everyone looked over to see Irvine walk into the room. Selphie immediately dashed over and poked him hard in the chest.

“Ouch, Selphie’s what’s with the….”

“What have you been doing?” Selphie demanded. “You were supposed to meet back up with us. I thought…I mean we thought that you might have….” Irvine grinned at her and held out his hands.

“I’m fine, Selphie, really,” he said. “I just had some checking around to do, and now it’s finally paid off.”

Irvine marched over to the table where Quistis’ laptop was setting and scanned the screen for a moment before pointing at one of the locations that had been highlighted on the map.

“There,” he said. “That’s the place we should focus on.”

“Hmm, that spot did have a marginally higher number of reports of para-magic use,” Quistis said. “And there is a direct route to it from the pavilion.”

“I don’t know,” Zell said, scratching the back of his head. “Isn’t it kind of risky to bet everything on that one spot? What do you think, Squall?”

“What made you choose that location?” Squall asked him. Irvine fiddled with his hand and looked away for a moment before returning his focus to the screen.

“The sources I’ve been talking to mention seeing some monsters and someone who looks like Sloclum hanging around that area,” he said. “That along with the reports of para-magic use…Trust me guys, that is the place we should be looking at.”

“Squall?” Rinoa said, placing a hand on his arm. Squall stared at the screen for a long minute before looking over at Ward. Ward nodded silently at him and Squall took a deep breath.

“All right, we’re going there,” he said. “All of you make sure to have your GFs and junctions set.”

Everyone else nodded, and Ward stood up from the table and started to walk over to them, but Squall held up a hand.

“No, you can’t come with us,” he said. “I’m sorry.” Ward’s features immediately darkened.

“….”

“I think he’s saying that he has to go,” Irvine replied. “Because it’s Laguna and because of what happened to Kiros.”

“I understand,” Squall said. “But right now, you’re the highest ranking member of the Esthar government in Deling. If anything happens, we need you here to take care of any problems. Besides, these people are apparently relying extensively on para-magic, and that’s something as SeeDs we’re trained to handle.”

“….”

Irvine was about to try to interpret again when a group of Esthar soldiers burst into the room. They lined up in front of the door and the captain of the squad pushed his way forward.

“Please move out of our way,” Squall said, narrowing his eyes at them. “We’re leaving to get Laguna back.”

“That’s President Loire to you,” the captain snapped at him. “And we’re going to be the ones to rescue him. You just tell us where you were planning on going.”

“Hey, we don’t have time for this,” Selphie said, throwing her hands up. “We need to get going before something happens to Sir Laguna.”

“Yeah,” Zell said, raising a fist. “This is our job. So move it.”

“Your job was to protect the president,” the soldier retorted. “And you couldn’t even do that. You let Minister Seagill die, but we’re not letting the same thing happen to President Loire.” Another one of the soldiers stepped forward.

“Yeah, we’re not going to put his life into the hands of a bunch of mercenaries who only care about getting paid,” the man sneered. “You’re probably not even worried if he dies or not, as long as you get your fee.” The captain nodded, stepping even closer to Squall.

“I should have known that we couldn’t rely on you,” he said. “You couldn’t possibly know how much our president’s life means to us.”

“Hey, it’s not like you guys are so perfect,” Zell said, stepping forward, his fists raised. “That Danior guy was able to sneak in with your security detail, and you didn’t even notice. Just how long was he hanging around you guys anyway?” Squall squared his shoulders and took a step toward the captain.

“We’re going,” he said. “So move out of our way….”

“Or what?” the captain scoffed.

“Or we will move you,” Squall said, his tone crisp and even. The captain crouched into a fighting stance with the other soldiers following suit.

“Like hell,” he growled at Squall. Squall put his hand on his gunblade, but was stopped when Ward stepped forward and put himself between him and the Esthar soldiers. Ward turned toward the captain and waved him aside.

“….”

“But…but Minster Zabac,” the captain said. “You can’t rely on these guys to save President Loire.”

“….”

“Sir, I know that we have made mistakes, but believe me, we have no intention of letting these guys harm the president,” the captain said. “Even if it means our lives.” Ward nodded, his features stern, but he did not move and waved them aside again.

“….”

“Understood sir,” the captain said, bowing his head. “Stand down men.”

The solders parted away from the door and filed out of the room with the captain looking back one more time before leaving. Ward then turned back toward Squall and patted his shoulder.

“….”

“I’m pretty sure that he’s trying to say good luck,” Irvine said. “And to be careful.”

“We will,” Squall nodded at him. “Thank you.”

“Ward, how about you wait for us at Garden?” Rinoa asked. “I’m sure Ellone could use the company. We’ll meet you there…with Laguna, I promise.”

Ward smiled at her and nodded. Squall, Rinoa, Zell, Quistis, and Selphie then walked out of the room with Irvine following them. Just as Irvine was about to leave, Ward put a hand on his shoulder and tilted his head at him.

“….”

“Um, I think you want to know what’s going on, and how I know so much,” Irvine said. Ward nodded. “But I can’t tell you that. Not right now. Not until this is over. But…just know that, everything I’m doing has to do with saving Laguna’s life.”

Ward studied him for a second before moving his hand and nodding again. Irvine then left with the others, while Ward walked over to the window where Squall had been and looked out at the skyline, lost in his own thoughts and worries over his friend.

* * *

 

After a short drive from the pavilion, Squall and his team arrived at the place indicated on Quistis’ map. They parked and walked around, their eyes inspecting every space and niche in the area. 

“I don’t see anything,” Selphie said. “Other than a bunch of run-down buildings.”

“It is an ideal place for them to hide,” Quistis nodded. “It’s isolated, and not too far from the business district, so they could easily sneak away to get any supplies they might need.”

“Which one should we look in first?” Zell said, scratching his head.

Squall wished he had an answer, but right now, he couldn’t see how any one building would be a better place to start than another. Still, he knew that he had to choose simply because there was no way to know how much longer Laguna would be spared by the people who abducted him.

“Wait,” Rinoa said, holding up her hand. “Guys, there’s something here. Something…off.”

“What do you mean?” Squall asked. Rinoa shook her head.

“I don’t know how to say it,” she said. “I just…something is reacting with my magic. That’s the only way I can explain it.”

Squall was about to ask her to try to elaborate when something at the corner of his eye caught his attention. He walked over toward a swatch of color on the ground and knelt down to examine it.

“Squall, what is it?” Quistis asked. Squall picked up the object he found and held it in his hand.

“It’s Laguna’s tie,” he answered. “I was using it to try to staunch the bleeding after he….”

Squall tried to say more, but shook his head instead. Selphie then squealed and pointed while hopping in place.

“Hey, what’s that?” she asked.

All of them looked up in the direction she was pointing to see a faint whirl of dark purple floating a couple feet off the ground in front of them. They walked over to look at it, and Rinoa held out her hand toward it.

“I think this is what I was sensing before,” she said.

“What is it?” Selphie asked, crouching down beside it.

“It almost looks like the portal that opened up the first time when we used that lamp Headmaster Cid,” Squall said. “The one that led to Diablos.”

“Yeah, yeah it does,” Zell nodded. “I remember it showing up and we walked in and Diablos was there, waiting to fight us.”

“That probably means that Sloclum is behind this after all,” Quistis said. “This sort of thing was the focus of his research.”

“But how can that be?” Selphie asked. “Sir Laguna said that he killed Sloclum a long time ago, and Kiros said that everyone who knew him was dead or locked up.”

“Right now, that doesn’t matter,” Squall said. “What matters is that this is probably where they took Laguna. Rinoa, do you think you can open it up so we can go in?”

“Squall, are you actually thinking of entering that portal?” Quistis said. “We don’t even know where it goes or how stable it is.”

“I’m betting that it’s stable enough for Sloclum or whoever this is to use it as his hiding place,” Squall said. “And that is good enough for me. So I’m going.”

“I’m going too,” Zell said, punching his fist into his palm.

“Yeah, we have to go,” Selphie said. “We have to save Sir Laguna.”

“It’s crazy,” Quistis said, shaking her head. “But I suppose I will be going too.”

“Thank you,” Squall said quietly. “Rinoa, can you….?”

Before Squall could finish that sentence, the portal suddenly lit up and widened the swirls of purple stretching and growing until they were tall enough for a person to step through.

“Rinoa, did you do that?” Quistis asked.

“No, at least not intentionally,” Rinoa said. “I think it just reacted because we got close to it.”

“Wait, one of us should stay here,” Quistis said. “Just in case something tries to follow us or to warn us if the portal starts to close.”

“I’ll stay,” Irvine said, stepping forward. “I’ll keep watch so that nothing else goes through, and if it looks like it’s about to collapse or something, I’ll make sure to send you guys some kind of signal.”

“All right,” Squall nodded. “Irvine, you wait here. We’ll be back soon.”

Irvine nodded back and watched as the rest of them slowly and cautiously stepped into the portal and disappeared. Once they were all gone, the portal constricted again to its original shape. Irvine pulled out his rifle and moved to lean against a nearby wall, obscuring him from plain view. He glanced around and was about to focus his attention on the portal again when he caught a glimpse of movement a few feet away. He tensed up for a second until he saw that the movement came from a silent figure draped in black. Irvine watched for a couple of minutes as the figure quietly shuffled along before turning back toward the portal and resting his arms on his chest.

 ‘ _Looks like he’s still searching,’_ Irvine thought to himself. ‘ _So I guess all that’s left to do is wait.’_

  

 


	14. Chapter 14

Sloclum looked up the dark grey sky above him and smiled before glancing over at the body lying on the stone alter in front of him.

When he was a child, he hadn’t planned on continuing his father’s research. He had the usual boyhood fantasies of being a hero or an adventurer. The science and quiet study of his father’s world seemed staid in comparison, even though he respected the diligence and the passion his father had for his work.

It wasn’t until he found out about his father’s death and he watched his mother wither away that he was drawn to his father’s work. As he enmeshed himself in it, Andreian found it fascinating, but even more important than that was the fact that following his father’s research was a way to return to the past: a past when they lived happily in Esthar, a past when their family was respected and even a little feared, a past that seemed to open up to a boundless future.

Andreian heard the growl of monsters behind him, and he frowned. He did not like to rely on monsters to carry out his plans, preferring to partner with people like Danior who could think and yet follow orders, but with Danior gone, Sloclum knew that he had little choice. Still, he was wary. Even though he had been thoroughly instructed on how to manipulate the monsters to carry out his instructions, he couldn’t shake the sense that the control he had over them could disappear at any moment.

“ _That will never happen. Just do as I tell you and you will have your revenge against Loire.”_

Sloclum snorted and tapped his fingers on the armrest of the chair he sat in. He could hear his mentor’s voice in his head as sure as if he was right there with him. At first, he had disagreed with his mentor’s recent insistence to capture Laguna alive rather than just kill him, but after listening to his plans for Laguna, Andreian had to admit that his ideas suited him even better.

Andreian stood up and walked over to the altar where Laguna was lying, unconscious and still. He had been angry at Danior for nearly killing Laguna and possibly ruining his mentor’s plans, but now that Laguna was here and Danior was dead, Sloclum admitted to himself that he would miss having Danior around do carry out his plots.

Laguna was starting to stir slightly, and Andreian frowned again. He put his hand in his pocket and felt the smooth, cool crystals his mentor had given him and recited the instructions for their use in his head several more times.

‘ _Any time now, Loire,’_ he thought to himself. ‘ _When you wake up…that is when my revenge will truly begin….’_

* * *

 

The first thing Laguna could perceive as he woke up was how cold he was.

He could vaguely remember being shot and the unimaginable pain he felt as a result. He remembered the sensation of his blood flowing out of his wounds, and how that sensation chilled him just as much as the massive blood loss itself did.

He also remembered seeing Squall’s face hovering above him. Laguna was certain that he didn’t have much time, so he saw no reason to hesitate to tell his son everything he wanted to say before. Laguna wished that he could have told Squall more, but he tried to be content with having apologized to his son and with telling him that he loved him. In Laguna’s mind, those were the only things that truly mattered anyway.

Laguna shivered and he wondered why he was so cold. He wasn’t sure what to expect when it came to the afterlife, but he did not think it would be cold…nor did he think that he would still be able to feel pain. It was then that he was starting to wonder if maybe somehow he had miraculously survived.

He moaned and slowly blinked his eyes open. He reached for his chest and was surprised to feel no wounds there, only bare skin and dried blood. He blinked a few more times and ran his hand along his chest.

‘ _How can this be? I know Danior shot me more than once. So how come there’s no wounds? Maybe I am dead after all…’_

Laguna tried to sit up, but ended up falling back down onto his side and groaning. He looked down to see that his suit had been ripped apart and that there was blood all over it.

‘ _There’s no way I’m salvaging this one. Darn, and I sort of liked this suit.’_

Laguna tried again to push himself up with his hands pressed against the slab he was lying on, but he was too weak to do more than lift himself up a couple inches before collapsing back down. The impact slammed against his chest, which was still very tender and sore, and Laguna let out another moan of pain.

“So, I see you’re awake at last, Loire.”

Laguna did not recognize the voice that had spoken, and he started to turn toward it when he felt a hand grab him by the hair and yank him around. He started when he looked up and saw what he thought was Eldridge Sloclum staring down at him.

‘ _No…no that’s not right. I killed him a long time ago. So how could he be here if I’m not really dead? Wait…is it him….?’_

“Do you know who I am?” Sloclum said with a smirk. “I certainly hope you do.”

“You’re…you’re not Doctor Sloclum,” Laguna rasped out. “Are you?”

“You’re right, I’m not,” Sloclum nodded. “Let me introduce myself. I’m Andreian Sloclum. Doctor Eldridge Sloclum was my father.”

“His son,” Laguna said. “But I thought….you were….”

“Dead too?” Sloclum said. “The car crash, right? I figured that you might have heard about that. I guess you could say that the authorities in that horrid town my mother and I had to flee to were not all that thorough. It is true that my mother was killed in that crash, but it wasn’t me who was with her. It was our house servant who we took with us from Esthar. It was sad. I truly did love my mother and Avel had been a loyal member of our household for years. But when I found out that I had been declared dead, I realized that I had stumbled into a unique opportunity. No longer did I have to worry about Esthar keeping track of me. I could work freely, albeit quietly, on getting my revenge for what you did to Esthar and to my family.”

“What I did to Esthar?” Laguna echoed. “What I did was get rid of an evil, selfish sorceress who was discarding people’s lives the way other people discard used tissues.” Sloclum glared at him for a second before striking him across the face.

“What you did was take away Esthar’s rightful place as the sovereign state of the world,” he yelled at Laguna. “All those other countries are nothing compared to the might of Esthar’s superior scientific knowledge and para-magic advances and it was our destiny to wipe away the filth infecting those slums. With Adel in power, we were so close to realizing our destiny, but then you came along. An empty-headed fool and a pathetic excuse for a soldier, and yet you were able to destroy our chance to take what should have been ours.”

Andreian hit Laguna again, the blows wild and striking him randomly all over his body. Pain exploded everywhere as wounds that had barely had a chance to begin to heal were assaulted and nearly torn open again. Laguna tried to curl his body away from the blows, but he was too weak to do little more than attempt to deflect a couple of the punches. Eventually, Sloclum stopped, but by then Laguna found himself in excruciating pain and was barely able to remain conscious.

Sloclum twisted his fingers in Laguna’s hair again and forced him to look at his face. The edges of his vision had grown dark and spots floated in front of Laguna’s eyes making it difficult to see. 

“When I heard that they had made you the new ruler of Esthar, it made me sick,” he spat at him. “To think that the once mighty Esthar had been reduced to such a mockery. You took the jewel of the entire world and hid it away because you are nothing more than a coward.”

Sloclum let go of Laguna’s hair and let his head drop back down onto the altar. Laguna coughed and shivered before finally turning his face back toward Sloclum.

“I am sorry about your father,” Laguna said, biting back another moan. “But people like him, people like Adel, they were not building Esthar into a mighty kingdom. They were destroying it. Can’t you see that? They were killing your fellow countrymen.”

“And that gave you the right to execute my father?” Sloclum shot back. “I know for a fact that Odine is still in Esthar. Do you have any idea how many of these precious countrymen he has destroyed as a result of his research and experiments? And yet you continue to let him live and work. Why did you spare him and not my father?”

Laguna pressed his lips into a thin line. He thought about trying to answer Andreian’s question, but he knew that it was useless. The man had spent too many years hating him to see reason.

Besides that, Laguna could not deny that a part of him thought that perhaps he should stop being so lenient with Odine. He knew that Kiros had been investigating him for a while and had made sure to keep a close eye on the doctor while choosing to not tell him about what he had found out thus far. Laguna did not resent him for that though. He knew that Kiros remembered how badly he had reacted as more and more details of Adel’s cruelty came to light after he became president, and he was certain that this was Kiros’ way of trying to shield his heart as much as he could. Despite this precaution, however, Laguna had still been able to find out about more than one of Odine’s experiments in the past and he wondered how much longer he could rationalize allowing the doctor to continue working under the premise that the benefits outweighed the costs.

“It won’t work,” Laguna slurred out, the pain from his injuries making it difficult to talk. “Even if you kill me, Esthar will continue on as it is now. It will not go back to how it was when Adel was in power.”

“Don’t be so sure of that,” Sloclum said. “Just because I haven’t lived in Esthar for years does not mean I do not know what is going on within the government. The truth is, there are people within the ruling council who are looking for a reason to retaliate against Galbadia to prevent them from trying again to conquer the world. Your influence is the only thing keeping those ideas in check, especially now with what has happened to some of the more moderate members of the council. Your death would bring a swift end to that stability. Esthar will have a chance to rise to power again.”

“So Kiros was right,” Laguna replied. “There was someone behind those ‘accidents’ in Esthar: you.”

“Indeed,” Sloclum laughed. “I had known for years that Seagill was an intelligent man, so it doesn’t surprise me that he figured this out. I am very glad that I will no longer have to deal with him. Tell me, how does it feel to know that you are responsible for his death?”

Laguna did not want to respond to that. He did not want to give Sloclum the satisfaction of seeing how much Kiros’ death had affected him. But none of that was enough to stop him from narrowing his eyes and gathering all of his remaining strength to lunge at Sloclum, his fist making contact with Sloclum’s cheek.  Sloclum shoved Laguna back down onto the altar and wiped the blood away from his lip.

“Still have a little fight in you, Loire?” Andreian chuckled. “Too bad you’re too weak to act on it. That sorceress who works for SeeD might have been able to save your life, but even she couldn’t completely heal you from your injuries.”

‘ _Sorceress?’_ Laguna thought to himself. ‘ _Rinoa…That must be why I survived. She saved me….’_

 “You should know that Danior wasn’t supposed to shoot you,” Sloclum continued. “I wanted him to kill that SeeD who was guarding you. And yes, I know that he is your son.”

Andreian watched as Laguna’s eyes widened and then rolled about in his head, and he slapped Laguna’s cheek in an effort to force him to remain conscious.

“After what you did to my father and mother, I felt that it was only appropriate that you watch your son die right in front of you,” Sloclum continued. “But then you had to go and wreck my plans. I will say this though; I didn’t think you had it in you to deliberately step in front of a bullet. I do wonder, however, why you did it. By now, you might have guessed that I managed to keep surveillance on you. So I know that he doesn’t even like you and considers you a burden and an idiot. So why? Why did you try to sacrifice yourself for a son who hates you?”

Laguna continued to shake, his vision growing even dimmer. He swallowed hard and turned to look at Andreian, blinking hard to focus his eyes.

“If…if you have to ask that question, then nothing I say will make any sense to you,” Laguna managed to croak out. Sloclum frowned and thrust his hands into his pockets.

“Fool,” he muttered. “Well it hardly matters now. Soon you will forget all about your son and about everything in your miserable life.”

Sloclum took the crystals out of his pocket and carefully inserted them into a series of slots that circled the surface of the altar. He then pulled out a small remote out of his pocket and pushed a series of buttons which caused the crystals to begin to glow. Laguna tried to inch away from them, but quickly discovered that he couldn’t move.

“What…what…are you…?” he gasped.

“What am I doing to you?” Sloclum replied. “It’s quite interesting really. I know someone, someone else who isn’t happy with what you did to Esthar, who has amassed a great deal of knowledge from various scientists who have worked for him in the past. Apparently, one of these scientists was studying the effects from combining various support magics with more arcane forbidden magic, and he happened to stumble upon a method of mind control.” Sloclum laughed and walked closer to the altar.

“Actually, mind control doesn’t truly convey the extent of what happens,” he continued. “This enchantment seizes the mind and wipes away both memories and any shred of what you might call humanity or morality. Granted, the intellect stays intact, but the will is completely subjugated to whoever controls these crystals. The first tests were done on monsters, and as you can see from the monsters lurking around here, it works quite well. Recently, I got to see a demonstration performed on human subjects, and it was fascinating. My mentor was able to take a man, who had been considered benevolent by his peers, and completely erase any memory of his life and turn him into a cruel, emotionless shell. It was quite amusing to see him torture and kill one of his fellow prisoners without any remorse. Unfortunately, his mind was too weak to handle the enchantment, and he soon went mad and had to be destroyed, but I have seen other more successful trials.”

Sloclum leaned close to Laguna and grinned.

“I originally wanted to kill you, but now I think it will be far more fun to watch you turn into a mindless drone, a twisted parody of the man you were before,” he said. “You will be a useful servant for my mentor’s plans to reclaim Esthar and return it to its former glory.”

Andreian stood back up and pushed a couple more buttons on the remote and then walked over to a monitor next to the chair he was sitting in to watch the results. Laguna sensed an icy darkness beginning to overtake him, and he trembled as he tried to free himself from the invisible restraints that were holding him to the altar.

“It is useless to resist and will be more painful for you if you try,” Sloclum said, his eyes still fixed on the monitor. “But feel free to do so if you wish. It’s not as if I would hate to see you suffer some more. Quite the opposite, really.”

Laguna did not hear him as the darkness filled his vision and seemed to suffocate him. Soon he was surrounded by a black void, and he felt as if he was falling into an endless space. He tried to speak, but could only let out a soft whimper before falling unconscious.

* * *

 

" _Laguna? Laguna, what are you doing?”_

_Laguna blinked his eyes open to see Raine standing in front of him._

_“What are you hiding behind your back?” she asked him, her expression stern. Laguna scratched the back of his head and tried to ignore the cramp that was sneaking into his leg._

_“Nothing,” he said. “Just some, um….”_

_“What?” she said. Laguna smiled and moved his hands toward her to offer her a large bouquet of flowers._

_“Laguna, why…?”_

_“Happy birthday, Raine,” he said. “Aren’t they pretty? They’re almost as pretty as the ones in your garden.”_

_“That’s not where you got them from, is it?” she said, arching an eyebrow._

_“Of course not,” Laguna insisted, shaking his head. “It took a lot of work, but I was able to convince that old lady from the flower shop to send away for these. Oh and I got you some seedlings of these flowers to go with this so you can grow some of your own.” Raine smiled and took the flowers from his hands, holding them close to her face so she could take in their scent._

_“Thank you,” she said. “They are lovely.” Laguna grinned and walked over to put his arms around her waist._

_“Now, how about you go relax, and I’ll make you a bunch of my Galbadian Griddle Cakes for lunch,” he said. “Elle should be back with Kiros by then and we can….”_

_“Laguna…do you remember me telling you about my birthday coming up last week?” Raine asked him. Laguna sensed something behind her question and his leg started to ache again._

_“Um yes,” he said. “Sort of.” Raine let out a sigh and shook her head._

_“Then you remember that my birthday was yesterday, not today, right?” she asked. Laguna blanched and let go of Raine so he could clutch his leg._

_“Yesterday?” he stammered. “But I, I could have sworn that it was today. I wrote it down and everything. Granted, I lost that piece of paper, but still, I was sure that I memorized it.”_

_Laguna began to hobble away and Raine placed the flowers onto the bar and followed him._

_“Laguna?”_

_“I…I’m sorry,” he mumbled as he limped away from her. “I should get out there and start working. It’s not like those monsters are going to kill themselves. ”_

_“Wait,” Raine insisted. “Don’t go.” Laguna stopped, but would not turn around to look at her._

_“Dammit, I…I just wanted it to be perfect,” he mumbled as he stooped down to grab at his leg again. He bowed his head and winced as the pain increased, but then he suddenly felt a pair of small, soft hands brush his hands aside and gently massage his calf. He dropped down the rest of the way to the floor and found Raine kneeling down beside him._

_“It is a day late, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t be perfect,” she smiled at him. She continued to rub his leg, easing away all the tension in his muscles. “After all, aren’t you the one who said that the heart can make anything perfect?”_

_“I said that?” Laguna responded._

_“You told Ellone that just last week,” Raine said. “When she was so upset about that picture she tried to paint for you.”_

_“Oh yeah, that’s right,” Laguna nodded, putting a hand to his chin. “I told her that right after I mentioned that she probably shouldn’t use the couch upstairs for an art table.”_

_“Maybe, but that still didn’t stop you from spilling paint on my rug, did it?” Raine said. “You still owe me an hour of weeding for that one, Loire.”_

_“I haven’t forgotten,” Laguna said, wincing. Raine then smiled at him again and placed one of her hands onto his._

_“Anyway, I am sure that Ellone hasn’t forgotten what you said,” she added. “And I doubt that I will either.”_

_“Raine….”_

_Laguna reached out to place his palm against her cheek, and Raine responded by tilting her head and leaning closer so they could kiss. After it was over, she smirked at him and got back onto her feet._

_“I’m going to go find a vase for these and put them in our room,” she said. “Meanwhile, you can get started on those griddle cakes. I expect an extra fluffy batch for being a day late for my birthday.”_

* * *

 

Laguna tried opening his eyes, but he couldn’t tell if he had been successful or not because the darkness around him made it impossible to see anything. After a moment of debating whether or not his eyes were open, Laguna began to detect slight movements around him as shadows seemed to slither toward him. He then felt his breaths shorten and his heart begin to race, even though he wasn’t entire sure why he suddenly felt so afraid. 

It was then that he felt the shadows try to enter his mind.

Laguna shuddered, tears sliding down the sides of his face as he tried to shut out the cold, black nothingness from penetrating his mind and heart. The fear inside him grew and every nerve in his body cried out against numbing cold that assaulted it.

Suddenly, he saw a white flower petal float down and brush his cheek as it landed beside him. Laguna then focused all of his energy on that petal, desperate for anything to help him stay sane in the face of the horror that had enveloped him.

‘ _This flower…Could it be….?’_

A faint but sweet fragrance rose up from the petal, and Laguna closed his eyes. Even though he continued to be immersed in wave after wave of darkness and pain, he was comforted by the idea that soon, he would probably be released from this agony and be reunited with his best friend and the love of his life.

_‘Kiros…Raine…please wait for me. I’ll be along soon...I promise….’_


	15. Chapter 15

It did not take long for Squall and his team to realize that there were probably on the right track.

When they first entered the portal, they were dismayed to see nothing but a vast empty space with only raised slopes in the land and a lighter grey sky above them giving any sort of definite features to the place. The slopes were not uniform, however, which reassured Squall that there was some kind of layout to the place that they just needed to figure out.

Thinking that it would be easy for them to get lost in a place like this, they decided that it would be better to explore the area together instead of splitting up. As an added precaution, Quistis left behind a small beacon near the gateway back before they walked away. They walked for almost a mile and Zell started to ask Squall if perhaps they should try a different route when they saw a gathering of Forbiddens running toward them. Their swords were held aloft and the red scraps of cloth that clung to them were flapping about as they charged.

Rinoa and Selphie immediately started to cast an assortment of support spells like Shell and Protect while Quistis summoned Cerberus to make spell casting more efficient. Meanwhile Squall cast Aura on himself, and Zell summoned Ifrit to begin the first wave of damage. Ifrit’s Hellfire blasted several of the Forbiddens, their bodies scattering into shards, which cleared a path for Squall to release the charge from his Blasting Zone attack into the hoard. The air was soon filled with the clatter of bones and a haze of ashes as fire from Ifrit and from Quistis’ Fire Breath swept away any of the monsters that Squall’s attacks did not obliterate. It took several minutes of fighting before all of the monsters were finally eliminated, and by the time they were done, most of them were ready for a hi-potion.

“Looks like we’re heading the right way after all,” Zell huffed. “Seeing as they sent out their welcoming committee.”

“I’ve never seen so many Forbidden outside of Centra,” Quistis said as she finished the last of her hi-potion. “How was Sloclum or whoever this is able to gather up so many of these monsters?”

“I don’t know,” Squall frowned. “But whoever this is, he is not acting alone. I’m almost certain of it.”

“No point in hanging around here and trying to figure it out,” Zell shrugged. “Let’s get going.”

The rest of them nodded in agreement, and they managed to walk almost another mile before they were met with a wave of Wendigos, much like the ones that had attacked the pavilion in Deling.

“Something tells me we’re going to be fighting every step of the way,” Squall muttered as he unsheathed his Lionheart again.

“Fine by me,” Zell said, punching his fist into his other palm.

“Yeah,” Selphie cheered, her eyes shining with excitement. “Bring it on.”

* * *

 

Sloclum heard a roar in the distance, but paid it little mind. He was far too engrossed by what he was seeing on the monitor in front of him.

Every time he watched this experiment being performed, it had taken only a few minutes for the dark energy from the crystals to alter the subjects’ minds and eradicate any trace of their former personality. Once this happened, there was a predicable spike in the energy readout that indicated that the magic had completely invaded the brain and was resonating with the crystals. It had been almost an hour, however, and there was still no sign of the expected energy surge from the crystals surrounding Laguna, and Sloclum wondered what could be wrong.

‘ _Has he really been able to resist their power for all this time?’_ he asked himself. ‘ _Surely not. There’s no way he could be that strong. Maybe it has something to do with the injuries he received earlier. Perhaps there’s not enough vitality left to activate the magics infecting his mind.’_

Andreian frowned and walked over to the altar. A black mist had settled over Laguna’s body, and Sloclum could feel an icy draft emanating from it. He picked up a pair of long, black insulated gloves and slipped them over his hands and forearms. He then reached down and checked Laguna’s vitals.

‘ _Pulse is weak, but still there and he is breathing albeit sluggishly. Strange.’_

Sloclum leaned down as close as he would dare toward Laguna, careful not to come in contact with the fog surrounding the altar, and peeled back one of Laguna’s eyelids.

‘ _His eyes are still reacting to light…but there seems to be no trace of consciousness there.’_

Andreian moved his fingers and watched as Laguna’s eye closed. He noticed traces of tears on Laguna’s cheeks and he scoffed and backed away.

‘ _Pitiful. His mind probably couldn’t handle the magics and cracked under the stress. Or the injuries Danior gave him were simply too severe for even that sorceress to fix. Either way, it looks like he is dying.’_

Sloclum yanked the gloves off his hands and let out a frustrated huff. He knew that his mentor would be displeased by this turn of events, and he couldn’t deny that he was also somewhat disappointed. Still, he was able to console himself with the idea that Laguna would soon be dead and that his death would not have been a peaceful one.

‘ _This will be a setback to be sure, but the groundwork has definitely been laid down,’_ he told himself. ‘ _Loire’s death will surely trigger a response from Esthar…and then the real work will begin.’_

Andreian finally managed to smile. Despite all the changes and complications to his plans, he was certain now that his dreams would eventually come to fruition. His mentor might not be happy at first, but Sloclum was confident that a man of his intelligence and cunning would find a way to improvise and yet still stay on course.

There was another loud roar, and Sloclum’s smile faded when he realized that the sound was much closer this time and that there were other noises that he couldn’t identify mixed in with it.

‘ _What is going on?’_ he thought. ‘ _I was told that the crystals would keep those creatures in line even in this place. So why are they rampaging like that?’_

Andreian moved back closer to his chair and turned it toward the console next to the monitor for the crystals. Sensing something amiss, he started to activate the security devices surrounding him. His suspicions were quickly confirmed when he spied vague forms running toward his location. He settled back in his chair and smirked as those forms turned into five people racing toward him.

“Ah welcome,” Sloclum called out to them as they slowed down and walked closer to him. “You must be the SeeDs Loire hired to protect him.” Andreian stood up and centered his gaze on Squall, his smirk growing.

“And you,” he said, pointing. “You must be Loire’s son. I can’t say that I see much of a resemblance. I do congratulate you, however, on finding me here. I honestly did not think you would.”

“I take it you’re Sloclum,” Squall said, scowling, his gunblade still drawn.

“Andreian Sloclum, at your service,” Sloclum said with a toss of his head. “As I already explained to Loire, the reports of my death were completely erroneous. Again, I am impressed that you were able to find me out, but as you can see, you are too late. It won’t be much longer before Loire is dead and I have my revenge.”

“Sir Laguna!” Selphie cried as she rushed over toward the altar. She started to reach down to shake his shoulder, but before she could, Rinoa dashed over and grabbed her wrist.

“No, don’t!” Rinoa shouted. “Don’t touch him. There’s something wrong, something about that mist around him. I can’t explain it, but something tells me that it would be dangerous to touch it.”

“Very astute, young sorceress,” Sloclum laughed. “I see that you are already starting to master your senses in regards to magic. It’s too bad that you couldn’t be more like Adel. You inherited her powers, did you not?”

Rinoa narrowed her eyes at him, and Selphie drew her hand back while Quistis, Zell and Squall moved over to stand next to the altar.

“What is this stuff?” Zell asked. He held his hand over it and quickly pulled back, shaking his entire arm. “It’s freezing, whatever it is.”

Squall studied the altar and Laguna’s still form for a moment more before looking up to glare at Sloclum.

“What are you doing to him?” he growled.

“Why do you care?” Sloclum retorted. “I know for a fact that you can’t stand Loire either.”

“Answer my question,” Squall said, taking slow, deliberate steps toward Sloclum, his grip on the hilt of his gunblade tightening. Andreian sniffed and slouched down into his chair.

“If you must know, I was attempting to make him more…manageable,” Sloclum responded.

“Mind control?” Squall said.

“In a manner of speaking,” Sloclum nodded. “Although, mind erasure would be more accurate. In essence, it would have made him the perfect subordinate: emotionless, totally devoid of humanity, and yet completely subservient to my control, just like the monsters I have guarding this place. But it looks like the wounds he got protecting you from Danior were too debilitating for him to be able to handle the treatment. Pity. I would have enjoyed using him against you. I wonder how it would feel to be killed by your own father…or to have to kill him.”

“Let him go,” Squall ordered, his tone venomous. “Now.”

“Or what?” Sloclum shot back. “You’ll do something about it? What would the point of that be? If Loire isn’t already dead, he will be any time now. And quite frankly, that is more than he deserves. He killed my father. He robbed Esthar of its greatness. The world will be much better off without him around to ruin things.”

Squall raised his hand and began to chant another Aura spell while Rinoa, Selphie, Zell and Quistis stepped forward and began their own preparations for battle.

“What you are doing?” Sloclum said. “You should know that those crystals surrounding Loire are highly reactive to magic. Just try casting combat spells or summoning guardians and see what happens to him.” A golden light surrounded Squall giving his skin a luminous glow.

“Then I will take care of you myself,” Squall said, holding his gunblade aloft.

“You? You must be joking,” Sloclum replied. “Do you honestly think you can defeat my security systems with just a gunblade? These systems have been refined to resist most forms of para-magic. So what could you possibly hope to accomplish?”

Sloclum laughed again, but Squall barely heard him. His mind kept going back to everything that had happened to him this past year: his battle with Ultimecia, meeting Rinoa, reuniting with his friends from the orphanage, and learning about and getting to know his father. In just one year, his existence had been transformed from a solitary and tightly controlled struggle to survive to a world of new discoveries, new possibilities, and new emotions that he wouldn’t have dared to let in before. He then focused on these past few days with Laguna and all of the conflict he felt as he tried to work out what exactly he felt about Laguna and what he wanted their relationship to be.

It was only a matter of seconds, but in that short time, Squall realized that he no longer wanted the power to just survive and to remain distant from the people he cared about. Now he wanted the power to live and to keep those people close to him.

A bolt of light sparked along the blade of the Lionheart and Squall swung it back in preparation to attack. He could feel a surge of emotion rush through him, but instead of clouding his mind, it gave him clarity. Every nerve, every muscle in his body was energized and focused on this single moment, this single offensive strike.

Squall leapt up into the air and brought his gunblade down again and again, swinging away at the force fields that Sloclum hid behind.  Every thrust was a release of emotion, every blow was a declaration that he would fight to protect the ones he loved. Over and over he struck his gunblade against the protective shields, and even after he broke through, he did not stop. He continued to smash and slice through the machinery surrounding Sloclum, shattering it into bits. Squall then paused as one last burst of energy pulsed along the light blue blade of the Lionheart, and once it reached its pinnacle, he swung hard and leapt to the side, destroying all that was left of the devices that Sloclum had been using.

A small explosion was triggered in the wake of Squall’s attack, and Andreian screamed as he was thrown back through the remains of his machines and out of sight. Squall landed next to the altar, and the others ran up to him.

They then watched as the crystals in the altar pulsed erratically for several seconds before cracking and splintering into pieces. Their light faded and the black mist surrounding Laguna fizzled away. As soon as it was gone, Squall put his Lionheart back into its sheath and reached down to lift Laguna off the altar with Zell helping him less than a second later. The two of them moved Laguna a few feet away and gently placed him onto the ground with all them crouching down to examine him. Squall knelt down and propped Laguna’s head and upper body onto his lap.

“Sir Laguna,” Selphie said, tears making her voice shake. “Please wake up.”

“Man, he doesn’t look good at all,” Zell said. “Is he still…you know…?” Quistis reached one hand down to his chest while a pair of fingers from her other hand went to press against his neck.

“He’s alive, but barely,” she said. “Squall, we need to get him some treatment as soon as possible.”

Squall silently agreed, but he could not stop himself from wondering if they were already too late. Laguna’s skin had a pale grey cast to it and was cold to the touch with the only other color being from the dried blood on his torso. His body was limp, his features completely slack. His breaths were shallow and slow, but if it weren’t for those breaths, Squall was sure that he would question Quistis’ assertion that Laguna was still alive.

“Zell,” he said as he rose up. “Could you…?” Zell jumped to his feet and nodded.

“Of course,” Zell said, reaching down to grab Laguna’s legs and help hoist him up. They got to their feet and adjusted their holds so they could carry Laguna while jostling him as little as possible. Quistis, Rinoa and Selphie stood back up, and Quistis gathered up a few of the crystal shards on the altar.

“We might need these,” she said as she placed them in her pocket. “Maybe we could give them to Doctor Odine, and he could tell us something about what they are and how they were being used on Laguna.”

Squall nodded in agreement, and they all started to walk away when the snarls of monsters in the distance caught their attention.

“Looks like we’ll have to deal with them on the way out,” Squall grimaced. “Rinoa, Quistis, Selphie….”

“We know,” Quistis said. “And don’t worry. We’ll cover you guys. You and Zell just concentrate on getting Laguna out of here.”

Squall and Zell nodded, and then they took off together, making sure to remain in a tight formation as they ran so as to ensure that the monsters would not be able to sneak up on any of them.

Minutes after they left, Sloclum dragged himself over to the altar and used it to pull himself up to his feet. He leaned heavily against it, his breaths ragged, and gritted his teeth as he watched them disappear.

‘ _No! I can’t let them leave. I can’t let them save Loire. I can’t let them ruin everything I’ve worked all these years for.’_

Andreian fell against the altar and reached a trembling hand into his pocket. He pulled out a glass vial and stared at the scarlet liquid inside.

‘ _I am not going to let those SeeDs destroy my chance for revenge and our plan to return Esthar to glory…even if I have to sacrifice myself to do it.’_

Sloclum pushed his thumbnail into the ridge under the cap and flicked the top off the tube. He then took a deep breath and brought the vial to his lips, swallowing its contents in one long gulp. Once he was finished, he let the vial drop to the ground and rested his head against the cool stone surface of the altar.

He did not have to wait long for the potion to take effect. Almost as soon as he felt it reach his stomach, Andreian felt his skin become hot and prickly, and he looked down to see that it was taking on an increasingly red hue. Sweat dripped down his face, and he soon felt the pain from his injuries disappear. He stood up straight and flexed his muscles, feeling them throb with a strength he had never felt before. Andreian grinned, a thin trickle of saliva running down his chin.  It was a struggle to keep his thoughts coherent and purposeful, but his determination gave him the strength he needed to do it.

Andreian stepped away from the altar and followed them, his strides growing faster as he went. Even though he was able to keep his mind mostly intact, there was a rising tide inside him that screamed for blood, for killing and Andreian was eager to satisfy it. Eventually, he found a sword that had been discarded by one of the Forbidden that were wandering around the place, and he picked it up, swinging it about several times before resuming his mad pursuit.

‘ _They’ll die. They’ll all die for interfering…and I’ll start with Loire’s son….’_

* * *

 

Squall huffed as he ran, Laguna’s body feeling heavier by the second. As he had anticipated, they had run into more monsters as they headed back toward the beacon Quistis had left, but he also noted that the groups were not as large and that they seemed less organized than they were before.

‘ _Sloclum must not be able to control them anymore,’_ he thought. ‘ _Probably had something to do with me destroying all those machines. They were probably what held them in line.’_

Even though they did not have to face massive armies of monsters, Squall and his teammates were still kept busy by numerous smaller swarms. Rinoa, Selphie and Quistis frequently had to cast many high-level spells to eliminate them quickly so they could continue to rush toward the exit. Soon, they could see the yellow blinking light of the beacon and they knew that they were getting closer.

“Squall!” Zell yelled. “We’ve got company.”

Squall glanced back to see what Zell was talking about and there was a sharp intake of breath when he saw what looked like Sloclum racing after them. His clothes were tattered and splattered with blood and he held a sword in one of his hands. What caught Squall’s attention the most, however, was the maniacal grin that was on his face. 

“Squall?” Rinoa said, her voice registering her apprehension once she saw that Sloclum was gaining on them.

“Keep moving!” Squall barked. Squall tightened his grip on Laguna, and all of them increased their speed.

“You won’t get away!” Sloclum screamed at them. “I’m going to kill all of you! I won’t let you take Loire away from us.”

Squall grunted; his heart pounding and his lungs burning. Throughout all of this, Laguna had not moved or made a sound and the fear he felt as a result of that was far more taxing than the physical exertion he was currently under.

 “There!” Quistis shouted. “There’s the doorway.” Squall looked up to see the whirl of purple suspended in the air a few feet ahead of them, and he willed himself to pick up speed. Despite this, he could sense Sloclum coming even closer, his sword swishing through the air around them.

“Dive!” he yelled as they reached the gateway, and it swelled open to receive them. Squall and Zell tucked Laguna closer to them and leapt through the opening, falling to the ground on the other side and rolling over while making sure to shield Laguna from the impact. A second later, Rinoa, Quistis, and Selphie jumped through. All of them looked over to see Irvine standing next to the gateway with a figure cloaked in black, but before any of them could ask who other person was, they heard Sloclum bellow incoherently as he approached the opening which caused all of them to shift their focus back to him.

“Now Irvine,” the figure ordered. Irvine nodded and raised a hand toward Sloclum.

“Float!” he yelled. A pair of white, transparent wings appeared on Sloclum’s back for a second before disappearing, and Sloclum was lifted off the ground. Andreian tried to move, but was suspended in the air right near the entrance, his arms and legs flailing wildly as he attempted to free himself.

The person draped in black stepped forward and stood in front of Sloclum. He regarded him silently for a moment before speaking.

“Andreian Sloclum, I presume,” the man said in a low voice. Squall raised an eyebrow. He thought that he recognized the voice, but he could not place it.

“Who are you?” Sloclum shrieked. “Get out of the way before I tear you apart too.”

At first, the figure showed no reaction to Sloclum’s threat, but then he reached into the folds of his cloak. He pulled out an object and held it up toward Sloclum. Squall studied it and swiftly realized that it looked very similar to the lamp that Cid had given him to open the portal to Diablos’ realm. As soon as Sloclum saw it, his eyes widened and his features turned several shades paler.

“Y-you…that lamp….” Sloclum spluttered. “How did you….?” Andreian then gulped loudly and held out his hands.

“You’re one of Danior’s men, aren’t you?” he said, his voice softer with an undercurrent of forced amiability. “He told me that he still had a couple of his people here and you were waiting to back him up if needed. Listen, Danior might be dead, but I am still willing to honor my part of his contract with you. I’ll even pay you everything I had promised him if you’ll give me that lamp. Just name your price, and I’ll pay it.”

The figure said nothing as he took a couple more steps toward Danior, his fingers curling around the lamp.

“Please,” Sloclum pleaded, hysteria bleeding into his voice. “Just tell me what you want.”

“What I want?” the figure echoed. “There is only one thing I want…and that is for you to pay for your actions.”

The man then yanked the shroud covering him away. Sloclum’s eyes bulged and his mouth fell open in shock as the cloak fell to the ground, and Kiros Seagill appeared in front of him.

“Seagill?! You…you….” Sloclum stuttered. “No…you can’t be here. You’re dead! We killed you.” 

Kiros said nothing as he continued to glare at Sloclum, his eyes nearly black with barely suppressed rage while the rest of his features were eerily impassive. He carefully sat the lamp onto the ground and pulled out one of his katal from its sheath near his thigh. He then knelt down and held it over the lamp, glancing back over at Sloclum to make sure he understood what was coming.

“No!” Sloclum screamed as he thrashed about in the air. “Don’t do that! Seagill, stop! No!”

Kiros did not respond and looked back down to aim his katal for a second before bringing it down as hard as he could onto the lamp, slicing it nearly in two.

There was a burst of light, and Sloclum screamed as the portal wavered and began to collapse onto itself. Andreian’s form was twisted back and forth into an almost unrecognizable shape before disappearing along with any trace of the gateway. Everyone stared at the spot where the portal was for almost a full minute, stunned at what had just transpired.

Their focus was then riveted to Kiros who was slowly and carefully trying to rise to his feet. He had shed his Esthar robes and was dressed in his native attire that Squall remembered him wearing during one of his trips to Laguna’s past. There was a large bandage that encircled his head which had a patch of red on one side and the stiff, measured way Kiros moved and held himself as he stood indicated to Squall that there were probably other injuries that he was trying to ignore.

“Kiros,” Rinoa gasped, breaking the silence. “What happened? I thought…we all thought that you had died.”

“I know,” Kiros said shuffling toward them. “That was what I needed everyone to think.”

“The hell?” Zell said. “What are you talking about?”

“Wait a minute,” Selphie said, narrowing her eyes at Irvine. “You. You don’t seem surprised at all. Did you know about this?” Irvine rubbed the back of his head near his ponytail.

“Selphie, I um,” he stammered. “I mean….”

“Do not blame Irvine,” Kiros said as he dropped down to kneel in front of Squall. “I needed his help, and so I asked him to not reveal that I was still alive.” Kiros reached down and placed his hand onto Laguna’s forehead, worry creasing his brow.

“I still don’t understand,” Zell said. “How can you be here? Even if Irvine was in on it, how were you able to fool Ward and the doctors at the hospital? And what was going on with you two anyway? What happened just now?” Kiros continued to stare at Laguna as his hand moved from Laguna’s head to clasp one of his hands in his.

“Laguna,” Kiros murmured, ignoring Zell’s questions. “Laguna, listen to me: it’s over. It’s all over and you are safe now. Just hold on while we get you some help, all right?”

Kiros let go of Laguna’s hand and wrapped his arms around his waist while he leaned forward and groaned.

“Kiros, are you all right?” Quistis asked him. Kiros shook his head vigorously.

“I’m fine,” he said, his voice tight and strained. “Don’t worry about me. We need to get Laguna to a hospital now before it’s too late.”

The others nodded and Squall and Zell stood up before gingerly lifting Laguna back up into their arms. Irvine helped Kiros to his feet, and all of them rushed over to the transport parked nearby. After guiding Kiros into the car, Irvine jumped into the driver’s seat. Once everyone was inside, he turned the ignition on and sped off down the streets of Deling.  

Squall sat next to Kiros with Laguna lying across their laps and Kiros going back to holding Laguna’s hand. Neither of them said anything, the both of them too caught up in their own thoughts and worries. As the lights of the city zoomed by his window and he silently watched Laguna, Squall found that he had a lot of questions, many which were identical to the ones Zell asked a few minutes ago. He hoped that he could get some answers soon.

But he also wondered if any of those answers would mean much of anything to him if they weren’t able to save his father.

 

          


	16. Chapter 16

Three minutes after Irvine took off down the street, Kiros suggested that Irvine head back to Garden instead of staying in Deling.

 _“Whatever this is, it’s probably beyond the capabilities of the doctors in Galbadia,”_ Kiros had argued. “ _As much as I hate to admit it, we will probably need Odine and his expertise in this area. If we take Laguna to Garden, he can be stabilized there while we transport him back to Esthar.”_

Squall agreed, and Irvine broke numerous traffic laws to get Laguna out of the city and to Balamb Garden in about as much time as it would have taken him to get to the nearest hospital in Deling. Once they arrived, Squall and Zell carried Laguna inside, with Squall calling for a gurney to transport his father to the infirmary. Soon, Laguna was rushed to Doctor Kadowaki, who immediately shooed everyone out of the way so she could work. Only Kiros was hesitant to leave. One of Kadowaki’s nurses was about to try to push him out the door when Kiros suddenly collapsed unconscious onto the infirmary floor.

“Move him to one of the beds,” Kadowaki had ordered her nurses. “I will tend to him as soon as I stabilize President Loire.”

After that, everyone left into the main hallways of Garden which were practically empty at this time of night. They gathered around one of the benches, and Squall sat down and leaned forward, his face pointed toward the floor.

“What do we do now?” Selphie asked nervously. Squall sighed and shook his head.

“Quistis, you and Zell go back to the hotel and gather our things, and after that, inform the Esthar security force that we are returning to the Presidential Palace,” he said without looking up. “You will be returning with them. Also make sure to let General Caraway know what the situation is. It’d probably be better to let him handle things in Deling right now. Selphie, tell Nida to head for Fisherman’s Horizon. We’ll dock there and take the Ragnarok the rest of the way. You and Irvine will pilot the Ragnarok and meet us there.”

Zell, Quistis, Selphie and Irvine nodded and saluted Squall before running off to attend to their assigned duties. Rinoa sat down beside Squall and put her arm around his shoulders.

“What would you like me to do, Squall?” she murmured. Squall sighed again and shook his head. 

“I don’t know,” he said. “I have to report to Cid and Edea. But beyond that….”

Squall hunched down even more and buried his face in his hands. Rinoa quietly rubbed his back for several moments before speaking again.

“Ward and Ellone are still here,” she said. “We should probably tell them about what’s going on.” Squall nodded, but said nothing in response, and Rinoa clasped his shoulder.

“Squall?”

“Why, Rinoa?” Squall said, still staring at the floor. “Why were you trying so hard to get me to work things out with Laguna?”

“Why?” Rinoa replied. “I don’t understand.”  Squall moved his hands away from his face and waved them at the ground.

“Why did it mean so much to you?” Squall continued. “To you and to Ellone and to Kiros? Why were all of you so determined to throw me together with him?”

“Squall,” Rinoa said, putting her hand on his arm. “Don’t you understand? We did it to help you, to help both of you. We wanted you to have a chance to have a family.”

Squall finally raised his head, and Rinoa flinched at the angry looked in his eyes.

“For what?” he retorted, his voice tightly controlled. “So I could lose it all? Is that what you all wanted? For me to get close to him, to start wondering what it would be like to have a father and start thinking that maybe it could happen and then have him taken away?”

Squall’s breaths came out in short stutters, and he looked back down at the floor.

“I spent my life without parents,” he said. “I’d see other kids play and laugh with their parents or I’d watch their parents hug and kiss them and I’d wonder why I couldn’t have any of those things. For years, I did not remember much about the orphanage, but I never forgot how other kids would get adopted, and I never was, and I kept asking myself why no one wanted me.”

Squall then gripped the sides of his head and huddled downward.

“Eventually, I told myself that I would never have a family,” he said. “And that maybe I didn’t deserve one. So, I tried to stop thinking about it. All those years, I kept trying to make myself stop wishing that I had a mother and father. It was so hard, so hard to force myself give that up, but I finally did it.”

He then let his hands fall limp, and Rinoa took one of them in hers, squeezing gently. Squall, however, did not even seem to notice the gesture.

“But then _he_ had to come along,” Squall added. _“_ He had to make it so I had a father in my life. He had to push to be a part of my world. He had to keep trying so hard, no matter what I did to get somewhere with me…and for what? For nothing. I couldn’t give him what he was looking for. I…I don’t think I could have, even if I wanted to. And now…and now he’s thrown everything away, and I….”

Squall swallowed hard, trying to work the lump in his throat down. He hadn’t wanted to say so much and he was grateful that he seemed to lose the ability to speak. Instead he closed his eyes and tried to find some corner of his mind where he could seal these feelings away and stop thinking about them.

He then felt Rinoa twine her fingers in between his and pull his hand closer to her.

“Squall, listen to me,” she said. “I know you’re scared, but it’s going to be all right. You’ll see. Laguna is a strong man, and I’m sure that he can make it through this.”

“Didn’t you see him, Rinoa?” Squall said, shaking his head. “You’re the one who tried to bring him back after Danior….And you saw what Sloclum was doing to him. Do you honestly think that he’ll survive all of that?”

“Honestly? I don’t know,” Rinoa replied. “I don’t know for certain if he will live, but I do know that you can’t say for certain that he won’t either. All we can do is take care of him as best we can and hope.”

Rinoa let go of his hand and wrapped her arms around his waist. Squall responded by putting an arm around her and pulling her close while resting his head against her shoulder. He knew that she was right. Whether Laguna lived or died was out of his hands now. This was reality, but it was a reality that Squall hated. Years of training to be a SeeD had given him the expectation that actions would produce results and that goals could be met if he worked hard enough. It had not prepared him for the times when things would be completely out of his control, and especially not when those things were what mattered to him the most.

Squall turned his face in toward her neck and put his other arm around her, clutching her closer to him, as if to make sure she couldn’t disappear.

* * *

 

Three hours later, Squall and Rinoa sat in the waiting area of the infirmary. Squall had reported everything that had happened in Deling to Cid and Edea, and they had told him to go ahead and wait until later to write out any official reports before dismissing him. He then met back up with Rinoa, who told her that Kadowaki was still with Laguna and that Kiros was also still in the infirmary, resting in his own room. They then went back to entrance of the infirmary and decided to wait there. After sitting together in complete silence for several minutes, Rinoa let out a sigh and stretched her legs out in front of her.

“I talked to Ward,” she said. “It was a pretty big shock for him when I told him about Kiros, but I’m pretty sure that he was really happy too. It was nice to have some good news for a change. He’s with Kiros now.”

“That’s good,” Squall said dully.

“Oh, and I also talked to Ellone,” Rinoa continued. “She was happy about Kiros too, but she’s really worried about Laguna. She told me that she wanted some time alone, so I took her to the terrace on the second floor so she could watch the sky.”

“Sorry,” Squall said, running a hand over his face. “I should have been the one to do that. I should have told Sis about Laguna.”

“It’s all right,” Rinoa interrupted. “She understands. She told me so. She wanted you to know that she’s here if you need anything.”

“Thank you,” Squall said, not knowing what else to say.

Rinoa nodded and lapsed back into silence with him. Squall thought about trying to ask one of the nurses about Kadowaki’s progress, when the doctor herself walked into the room. Squall and Rinoa stood up to meet her.

“Doctor,” Squall said. “How is he?” Kadowaki shook her head.

“Squall, Rinoa, I think you should sit back down,” she said. The three of them settled into chairs and Kadowaki glanced through a file in her hands before sitting it on her desk and taking a deep breath.

“President Loire is alive, but he is in critical condition,” she said. “Rinoa’s intervention did make it so that his bullet wounds were not fatal, but I still had to go in and remove some shrapnel and there was still some trauma to the surrounding tissues. Also, he had some bruising and a hairline fracture to his collarbone both of which were probably the result of blows to his abdomen. Fortunately, they did not aggravate his other injuries too much. However, his body temperature had also been lowered to a dangerous level, and we ended up having to resuscitate him at one point when he stopped breathing while we tried to get it back to normal.”  

 There was a sharp intake of breath from Squall, and Rinoa put her hands to her mouth. Kadowaki sighed and closed her eyes for a moment before continuing.

“I know that all sounds bad, and it was serious when he was first brought in,” she said. “But actually, we were able to stabilize him without much in the way of difficulty or complications. If it was just a matter of these issues, I probably would not be so concerned.”

Kadowaki paused and took another deep breath while Rinoa and Squall leaned a little closer to her.

“What I am worried about is this coma he has fallen into,” she said. “There doesn’t seem to be any physical cause for it. It’s as if his mind is no longer connected to his body. All of his reflexes are still there, and he is responding to treatment, but there is no trace of any conscious awareness. I can only hope that Doctor Odine can find something that I might have missed.”

“Can we see him?” Rinoa asked through her fingers.

“Soon,” Kadowaki replied. “One of my nurses is preparing him so he can be transferred to the Ragnarok and then to Esthar’s facilities.”

Rinoa glanced over at Squall, but Squall crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at the floor, refusing to let anyone see what he was thinking or feeling right now.

“Doctor, what about Kiros?” Rinoa asked. “Is he really all right?”

“Minister Seagill will be fine if he chooses to stop ignoring his injuries and give himself time to recover,” Kadowaki said with a frustrated sigh. “He has a lot of deep-muscle bruising, some lacerations, and several cracked ribs. I also suspect that he still getting over a moderate concussion. Of course, the fact that he has not gotten anywhere near sufficient sleep or nourishment over the last day or so is not helping things. Right now, it’s just a matter of making sure that he rests so his body can heal.”

Kadowaki stood up and headed back toward the surgical suite.

“It will be a few more minutes,” she said. “You are welcome to visit Minister Seagill if you wish. It’s the first room down the hall.”

“Thank you,” Squall muttered. Kadowaki left, and Rinoa stood up from her chair and put her hand on Squall’s arm.

“I think I’ll go check on Ellone,” she said. “Why don’t you go see Kiros? Maybe you can get some answers.”

Rinoa gently stroked his arm for a moment before walking out, and Squall sat up and ran his hands through his hair. Truthfully, he was looking for anything to distract him from what he had just heard, and getting some information that he would eventually need for his reports seemed like a perfect opportunity to focus on something else for a while.

Squall pushed himself up and headed over to the in-patient rooms. As he walked over to the room that Kadowaki had indicated, he could hear the sound of someone talking which was interrupted by a sharp, annoyed groan of pain.

“Ward, how many more times are you going to do that?”

Despite the turmoil inside him, Squall couldn’t help but let out a tiny smile. Kiros and Ward had come to have that effect on him.

He walked in to see Ward sitting next to Kiros, who was sitting up in bed.  Ward glared at Kiros and his arms were crossed over his massive frame.

“….”

“I know, I know,” Kiros said, contrite. “And I am truly sorry. Please believe me that I only did it as a last resort.”

Ward frowned at him and delivered a blow to Kiros’ arm, although Squall could tell that the big man was definitely holding back a lot. For his part, Kiros simply rubbed his arm and showed no other sign of distress.

“….”

“I suppose I deserved that one too,” Kiros said ruefully. “But I hope that you weren’t serious about what you said about the Anacondaurs. Isn’t it enough that I will have to face Mara when we get back to Esthar?”

Squall cleared his throat, and both Kiros and Ward turned their heads to face them.

“Squall,” Kiros said. “Have you heard anything more about Laguna?” Squall shook his head and pulled up a chair to sit on the side of the bed opposite of Ward.

“Doctor Kadowaki said that he is in a coma and in critical condition,” Squall said as he sat down. Kiros and Ward lowered their heads.

“Yes, one of the nurses told us about that,” Kiros said quietly. “Hopefully, Doctor Odine can do something. The man is despicable, but he is a genius at this sort of thing.”

“What about you?” Squall asked, eager to change the subject. “Zell asked some questions earlier, and quite frankly, I would like to know the answers to most of them myself.”

Kiros let out a sigh and laid down onto his back, closing his eyes. Ward looked down at him, his expression softening with concern, and placed a hand on Kiros’ shoulder.

“….”

“No, it’s all right,” Kiros said as he opened his eyes. “I’m just tired is all.” Kiros turned his head toward Squall.

“To be honest, I am certain that no one was more surprised than me that I actually survived that explosion in the security room,” Kiros said. “I was determined to get that bomb away from Laguna, so I tried rushing the guy so I could propel him away from Laguna and Selphie and maybe get him to drop the bomb. It worked…at least partially. I don’t remember what happened after that, but from what Irvine told me, I figure that I must have been able to dive behind one of the steel cabinets in the room right before the bomb went off and that’s what spared me from the lethal force from the blast. Still…you could say that I was still pretty banged up. When I woke up at the hospital, I felt as if a Ruby Dragon had fallen on me.”

Kiros rubbed his eyes and turned his face up toward the ceiling.

“Fortunately, the doctor who was treating me was alone when I woke up,” Kiros continued. “And as it turned out, he and his wife are expatriates who had escaped Esthar toward the beginning of Adel’s rule. Their families still live in Esthar, however, and thus, the both of them have a strong sense of loyalty for Laguna because of what he has done over the years.”

Kiros started to shift his eyes back and forth between Squall and Ward while still keeping his face turned upward.

“When I woke up, all I could think about was Laguna’s face while that guy was choking him and how close he had been to dying,” he said, his tone soft and somber. “I immediately asked the doctor if he was all right, and he told me that Laguna had not been admitted. I was relieved, but while the doctor was treating me, I still kept thinking about how Danior clearly had an edge on us and that we needed to find a way to eliminate it. It was then that I decided that drastic measures would be needed.”

“Measures like making everyone believe that you were dead,” Squall said.

“Correct,” Kiros said, turning his head slightly to face him. “At first the doctor was reluctant to go along with it, but after I explained to him that this involved saving the life of the president of Esthar, he relented. He patched me up as best he could and then gave me an injection that would slow down my vital signs for a few hours so he could pass me off as deceased to the attending nurses and anyone who might come to claim my body. He then made sure to delay the paperwork that would have me returned to Esthar so that I could leave the hospital with no one the wiser for the next couple days. I could work on finding the culprit and protecting Laguna while still staying outside of Danior’s watch.”

“What about Irvine?” Squall asked. “How did he get involved?”

“Even though my injuries were not as bad as they could have been, I knew that I was too incapacitated to work without help,” Kiros answered. “Plus, I needed to have a way to continue to monitor Laguna and to know what you and your team were doing on your end. The doctor mentioned that a SeeD was with Ward in the waiting room, so I asked the doctor to stall for me so I could approach whoever it was. I explained the situation to Irvine, and he agreed to go along with my plan.”

“Without informing me,” Squall said, scowling. Kiros shook his head and sighed again.

“I know that that was breaking protocol, but you need to understand my perspective during that time,” he said. “We already knew that Danior had had our hotel bugged, and after the incident at the pavilion, I suspected that our security detail had been infiltrated as well. I knew that, in order for my plans to work, I needed to have as few people as possible know that I was still alive. After I explained things to him, he agreed with me that it would be better to keep this quiet, just in case Danior still had a way to listen in on your guys’ conversations and find out about your plans.”

Squall continued to scowl, but he was soon met with an equally strong glare from Kiros.

“Don’t forget, Squall, technically, I was your client,” Kiros said. “And I know for a fact that SeeDs are supposed to follow the requests of the client as laid out in the contract we agreed upon. I had my reasons for making Irvine remain silent about his role in my plans, and I expect you to not reprimand him for complying with my wishes.”

Squall let out a huff and crossed his arms over his chest, but did not respond. Kiros was right, of course, and it suddenly occurred to Squall that this firm resolve and logical mindset was probably one of the many reasons why Kiros was Laguna’s closest advisor.

“SeeDs are not reprimanded for carrying out the requests of the client,” Squall replied. “Besides, I understand now why you both did what you did, and I can’t find any fault with your strategy. It was the most advantageous approach in that situation.”

Kiros nodded, his glare disappearing as he blinked his eyes and shifted his position in the bed slightly.

“Irvine kept me informed about your activities and about the results of your investigations, including Quistis’ findings about Sloclum and the para-magic reports while I worked independently,” he continued. “I remembered Doctor Sloclum’s research, and I concluded that either he or someone involved with him who we had missed was behind all this. I checked out all the sites that had been mentioned in connection to para-magic usage and happened to stumble upon the portal that Sloclum had set up. I told Irvine about it, and he mentioned Diablos and the lamp you had received from Headmaster Cid. I did some additional research and discovered that that lamp is not the sole existing artifact that contains a GF within a separate dimension.”

 “So that is why you were there,” Squall said. “You were looking for the artifact that held the dimension that Sloclum was hiding in.”

“Yes,” Kiros nodded. “After I found out about those artifacts, I went back to the pavilion to keep an eye out for Irvine so I could tell him about what I had discovered and to work out a plan of action with him. While I was waiting, I kept an eye on the security division to look for anything suspicious and discovered that Danior was disguising himself as an Esthar soldier. I told Irvine about it before I went back to search for the artifact.”

Kiros paused, his hands clenching into fists and his eyes lighting up with anger, although this time, Squall guessed that it was not aimed at either him or Ward.

“I saw those Wendigos carry Laguna into the gateway,” Kiros said, his voice tight.  “I desperately wanted to follow them. Every instinct I have was shrieking at me to do so. But I also knew that it was hopeless to pursue them alone. Instead, I waited until I met with Irvine again, and then resumed my search. And…well, you know first-hand that I was successful.

“Yes,” Squall said. “I know exactly what you mean.” Kiros studied him for a second, uncertain of Squall’s tone.

“While it is true that I have numerous duties as the Head Attendant and Minister to the President of Esthar, my primary duty is to protect Laguna,” he responded, his tone cool and indomitable. “Taking Sloclum alive so he could be tried in Esthar was a risk I was not willing to entertain, given the situation. Besides, Sloclum’s crimes would have led to only one sentence had he been tried. I simply used the powers I have been granted to carry out the inevitable.”

Squall nodded and held out his hands in a placating gesture to show that he understood. While he was still trying to get used to this more serious, intense side of Kiros’ personality, Squall found that he could understand his drive to safeguard Laguna at any cost because it reminded him a lot of his role as Rinoa’s knight and the need he had to protect her.

“Kiros, I don’t think Sloclum was working alone,” Squall said. “I think there is another person working behind the scenes.” Kiros nodded, his eyelids drooping and his hands and posture relaxing.

“I think so too,” he slurred. “This isn’t over…I…I will need to….”

Kiros’ head lolled to the side, and Ward stood up to gingerly pull the blankets up to his shoulders, tucking him in.

“Ward,” Kiros murmured as his eyes slid shut. “Take care of Laguna.”

Seconds later, Kiros’ breathing became even and slow and it was clear that he had fallen asleep. Ward placed his hand back onto Kiros’ shoulder, and Squall caught a glimpse of unshed tears in his eyes.

“Squall, Minister Zabac.”

Squall and Ward looked over at the doorway to see Kadowaki standing there.

“You can visit President Loire now if you would like,” she said. “But I ask that you keep your visit short. We will have to transfer him soon, and we will need you two to be out of our way when the time comes.”

“We understand,” Squall said while Ward nodded. Ward looked down at Kiros one last time before walking out of the room with Squall.

They followed Kadowaki into another room and she waved her arm inside before nodding at them and walking away. After she left, Squall and Ward silently crept into the room toward Laguna, who was lying motionless in the bed.

As he got closer, Squall felt his insides quake as he realized that his father actually looked worse now than he did before. Laguna’s face was completely devoid of any color, except for light purple circles around his eyes and half of his face was covered with an oxygen mask. Other machines ticked and beeped as they kept track of his father’s vitals and there was an IV line into one of Laguna’s arms.

Once he was next to the bed, Ward reached down and patted Laguna’s hand, the wetness reappearing in his eyes. Staring down at Laguna’s still form, Squall couldn’t stop himself from thinking about how frail and lifeless his father looked which was a far cry from Laguna’s normally energetic and cheerful demeanor. Bitterness welled up inside him when he remembered how often he would be annoyed at Laguna’s goofy antics and thought about how he much he wished that Laguna would open his eyes and go right back to his usual playfulness.  Kadowaki’s comments about how Laguna appeared to be in an irreversible coma suddenly came back to him, and Squall felt sick at the idea that his father might remain in this state indefinitely.

He tried to remind himself that Rinoa was right in saying that there was no way to know for sure if Laguna would live or die, but right now, Squall wondered how much longer he could cling to that idea.


	17. Chapter 17

Three days later, little had changed, and many feared that not much else would.

* * *

As soon as Garden docked with Fishermen’s Horizon, Selphie and Irvine were waiting with the Ragnarok which was parked near the mayor’s house. Mayor Dobe had objected at first to Garden staying there, but Squall explained the situation and assured him that everyone else from Garden would stay onboard and that the Ragnarok was leaving immediately for Esthar. Only then did Dobe relent and express his hope that President Loire would recover soon.

Medical teams were waiting at the Airstation in Esthar to take Laguna back to the Presidential Palace where a treatment room had been set up along with a temporary lab for Odine to work in next to it. Squall, Ellone and Doctor Kadowaki accompanied the emergency team transporting Laguna to the Palace while another team took Kiros back to his own living quarters with Ward accompanying them. Selphie, Irvine, and Rinoa settled in the guest quarters at the Palace and were eventually joined by Quistis and Zell.  

“We explained everything to Caraway,” Quistis said. “Needless to say, he wasn’t thrilled with the situation.”

“Of course not,” Rinoa said. “It’s a political nightmare for him.”

“I suppose it is,” Quistis said. “I imagine there will be some who will try to blame Galbadia even though Sloclum acted as if he was doing all this for Esthar.”

“Yeah, and he made sure to point out that we failed,” Zell huffed, hanging his head. “Thing is, he’s right. We screwed up and now Laguna’s….”

Zell fell silent and slumped down even more. Rinoa put a hand onto his arm.

“That doesn’t mean he had to bring it up,” she said. “He can be so infuriating at times. It’s like he doesn’t know how to turn off that military side of him.”

“Still, I understand how Zell feels,” Quistis said, shaking her head. “We were given a high-priority mission and we failed.”

“That still doesn’t give him the right to make all of us feel as bad as possible about it,” Rinoa said. “Everyone makes mistakes.”

“It’s not that simple, Rinoa,” Quistis sighed. “As SeeDs we can’t afford to make mistakes like this.  We have a reputation to uphold, a reputation that is vital to our livelihood. But even more importantly, when we make mistakes, it costs people their lives.”

“But we saved the world a few months ago,” Rinoa retorted. “Doesn’t that mean anything?”

“It does,” Quistis nodded. “But the fact remains that public perception of us is usually about what we’ve done lately, not what we’ve done in the past. That’s simply how it is for us.”

“I get it,” Rinoa said. “But it still doesn’t seem fair somehow.”

Quistis nodded again and fell silent as did everyone else for several minutes until Selphie cleared her throat.

“Hey, has anyone talked to Squall lately?” she asked. “With all the stuff that Garden’s going to have deal with and the fact that it’s his father…I’m sure it’s a lot for him.”

“It is,” Rinoa said quietly. “After all of you left Garden, I talked to him. He won’t say it directly, but he’s so scared. I can’t imagine what this is like for him.”

“But Sir Laguna is going to get better, right?” Selphie said, her tone pleading. “He can’t die. He just can’t. It wouldn’t be right.”

She then sniffled and rubbed her eyes while Irvine put his arms around her and held her close. No one else said it out loud, but all of them were sure that the others were thinking the same thing.

* * *

 

“This iz a fascinating case,” Odine said as he peered at the monitors surrounding Laguna. “I remember Doctor Kakone had a theory zat para-magic could be blended and put to practical use, but I never knew zat he had made so much progress in his work.”

“Doesn’t he still work with you?” Squall asked him. “According to Ward, all of the top scientists in Esthar are a part of your lab complex.”

“That iz true,” Odine nodded.  “But there were several scientists who left Esthar in ze years following Sorceress Adel’s defeat. Kakone vas one of them.”

“Why were they leaving?” Squall inquired. “I would think that they would be happy that they didn’t have to worry about Adel.”

“Eeegh, most of them left because they were convinced vat Laguna would put too many restrictions on their research,” Odine replied. “Adel usually let us work freely, and as long as we got results, we did not have to answer to anyone.”

Squall was certain that there was a wistful look in Odine’s eyes as he said this, but chose to ignore it.

“I heard that someone was funding several of your scientists privately,” Squall said instead. “Could some of them have left to work for whoever this was?”

“Ahhh, I didn’t keep track of such things,” Odine said, waving his hand about impatiently. “Ze financial dealings of ze other scientists were not my concern.”

Squall nodded and decided to forgo this line of questions, figuring that Odine was probably being truthful about his indifference. He watched as the little scientist paced about the room.

“Anyway, I am sure zat Kakone iz ze one who developed this process of infusing crystals with magic,” Odine continued. “I have analyzed ze crystal shards zat you have brought me and found traces of several arcane forbidden magics along with more modern support spells. I suspect zat they are ze cause of Laguna’s current condition.”

“Sloclum said that he was trying to brainwash Laguna,” Squall said. “Is it possible that something went wrong?”

“Perhaps,” Odine said. “It iz hard to say at this point. I have never seen magics used in this way. I will need to run more tests before I can say anything for sure. But I do have a theory. Do you vant to hear it?”

Squall nodded and Odine walked around and glanced at all the monitors again before stopping to stand in front of Squall and lean toward him.

“I believe vat Laguna is in this state because ze process was only partially successful,” he said. “If what you say iz correct, ze mind would have to be properly prepared to be altered successfully. Ze consciousness would have to be suppressed and made pliable so ze magics can do their work without interference. Zat is what I think has happened here.”

“Can you reverse it?” Squall asked, starting to lose his patience with the doctor and his caviler attitude toward the situation.

“Again perhaps,” Odine said. “It will depend on how much damage had been done before you interrupted ze process. I must say though vat this iz impressive work. It iz a shame vat Kakone did not choose to stay in Esthar.”

Odine then shifted his gaze over to the side of the room and frowned at Kadowaki who gave him a baleful look in response.

“I might be able to work faster if I did not have to worry about her interference,” he said, distain clearly evident in his voice.  

“Doctor Odine, let me say first that I thoroughly respect your contributions to science,” she replied. “That said, I do get the distinct feeling that you care far more about unraveling the intricacies of the process Sloclum used on President Loire than you do about saving his life. That and the fact that I still consider the president to be my patient are enough for me to insist on staying.”

“Fine, fine,” Odine spat at her while throwing his hands in the air. “Do what you vant. I do not care. Just stay out of my way while I work.”

Odine continued to grumble while he went back to studying the monitors and taking notes.  Kadowaki sighed and silently examined Laguna while making sure to avoid Odine. Squall walked over to the side of the room where Ellone had been watching and listening to the conversation around her.

“He hasn’t changed one bit,” she said quietly as Squall moved to stand next to her. “He’s just like how I remember him when I was a child. He never cared about how I felt while he was doing all his experiments. I think the only thing that kept me sane during that time was the hope that Uncle Laguna would eventually come and rescue me.”

“I’m sorry Sis,” Squall said. “I’m sorry that you had to go through all that. And I…I’m really glad that Laguna was able to get you away from him.”

“Even though it cost you so much?” Ellone said, her eyes shining with tears as she looked at him. Squall bowed his head.

“Yeah,” he said. “I don’t like to think about how it would have been for you if you had had to grow up here. Even though a lot of things went wrong…I’m still glad that Laguna made the decision to save you.”

“Thank you, Squall,” Ellone said, taking his hand into hers. “You have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say that.”

Squall gave her a tiny nod and closed his fingers around her hand. They watched Laguna silently for a moment before Ellone sniffled and wiped at the tears in her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I just…it hurts so much to see him this way. To see him so still and fragile. Every memory I have of Uncle Laguna is of him being so joyful and strong and full of life. Especially all those times when I reached out to him with my mind.”

“What do you mean?” Squall asked her.

“When I was a child, I didn’t have as much control over my special powers,” Ellone said. “Sometimes, while I was sleeping or even while I was awake, I would try to make contact with Uncle Laguna’s consciousness. A couple times, I accidentally sent him into Raine’s past or one of the villagers’ past. I remember the first time it happened. I was so scared that he would freak out and wouldn’t want anything more to do with me. But instead…he was so understanding, so patient. So was Raine. It made me love them even more.”

A few more tears fell down Ellone’s cheeks and she started to have trouble keeping her voice steady.

“After a while, I learned how to sense Uncle Laguna whenever he was close by carefully searching for his consciousness while making sure to not send him to a different time,” she continued. “I could feel his warmth, his generosity, and the love he had for me and Raine. I guess you could say it was like having a security blanket. Even after I was taken away from Winhill to live in the orphanage, I never lost that ability.”

Ellone took a deep breath and swallowed hard while Squall squeezed her hand.

“Sis…?”

“But now, now it’s like he’s barely here,” Ellone interrupted. “I keep reaching out to find him, but all that’s there is this void with just an echo of him. It’s as if everything that made Uncle Laguna who he is inside is missing and all that’s left is this faint trace of life.”

Ellone put her face into her hand and wept while Squall continued to hold her other hand, unsure of what he should say. It didn’t occur to him that Ellone might not need him to say anything at all.

A couple minutes later, she scrubbed at her face with the back of her hand and took some shallow breaths while she tried to get her voice to work again.

“There is one thing,” she finally said. “I don’t think Odine is right. Not entirely. I don’t think Uncle Laguna is like this just because this Sloclum person messed up while he was trying to hurt him. I, I think that Uncle Laguna pulled himself away from his own mind and body so that those magics couldn’t take him over.”

“You think he did this to himself?” Squall asked. “On purpose?”

“In a way, yes,” Ellone said. “He might have lost if he had stayed and tried to fight, so it’s like he decided that it’d be better to go away rather than let himself get turned into a monster. Or…maybe he had help. Maybe someone was trying to protect him. Or maybe it was a little of both. I don’t know.”

Squall knit his eyebrows together and wondered what she meant by that when she let out another soft sob and leaned against him.

“But now it’s like he’s lost and can’t find his way back,” she cried. “Squall, what if they can’t find a way to help him? What if he….?”

Ellone bent her head down to weep again, and Squall let her lean against him. This time, he could think of some words to say, but he couldn’t vocalize them out of fear that he might break down too.

* * *

 

By the next day, Quistis’ concerns over Esthar and Galbadia were proven to be prophetic as the media latched onto rumors that the president and his staff were targeted at the conference. At first, there were no direct allegations, only speculations about how Galbadia might feel threatened by Esthar’s reappearance in the world and by the technology its citizens had been recently exposed to. The fact that no one had seen President Loire or Ministers Seagill or Zabac since returning to Esthar helped to transform those speculations into emotion fueled rumors within a matter of hours. Soon theories of all sorts began to make their way through Esthar: that either Minister Seagill or President Loire were dead or both of them were, that this was part of an elaborate plot and Galbadia was going to attack them now that key members of the government had been taken out, or that perhaps there was another sorceress based in Deling who was planning another assault upon the world.

By nightfall there had been numerous messages and petitions delivered to the Presidential Palace and to the Chambers of the Council demanding that either President Loire make an appearance or that a special meeting of the government be held to discuss plans to respond to Galbadia’s supposed acts of hostility.

These demands reached a fever pitch by the next day, and people began to gather outside the Presidential Palace to voice their insistence that Galbadia be made to answer for its actions.

Just as public pressure was growing close to its zenith, the people were surprised to receive word of a press conference that would be held that evening. Practically all of Esthar was glued to monitors connecting them to various media outlets to see Minister Seagill make an appearance in front of the Presidential Palace to a gathering of the press.

“Citizens of Esthar,” Kiros said. “I know that there have been many rumors and questions ever since the abrupt conclusion of the Cultural Conference in Deling, and I am here to address them.”

Kiros paused and took a couple of measured breaths. Many within the crowd that had shown up to witness this statement noted that the president’s top attendant looked weary and showed signs of having been recently injured.

“First off, let me stress that there has been absolutely no acts of aggression, either direct or covert, from Galbadia these last few days,” he continued. “In fact, Galbadian officials have gone out of their way to assist us in during our time of need. There is no reason to fear Galbadia or to suspect any ill intentions against us or our neighbors.”

Kiros lowered his eyes for a moment and the members of the press leaned forward in unison, anxious to learn more about what was going on.

“However, Esthar has suffered a great blow in the form of an attempt on President Loire’s life which resulted in his being seriously wounded,” he said as he raised his head and opened his eyes. There was a collective gasp from the crowd, and reporters immediately began to shout out questions.

“Minister Seagill, is President Loire still alive?”

“Yes,” Kiros answered. “Currently, the president is recovering within the Palace and is being treated by the best doctors in Esthar, including the esteemed Doctor Odine.”

“Minister Seagill, you said that Galbadia was not responsible for this attack. Then who was it?”

“The attack was perpetrated by an Adel loyalist,” Kiros replied with barely concealed venom. “A traitor who preferred her tyranny to the peace that has existed under President Loire’s administration. More details will be made available as our investigation into this man continues.”

“Minister Seagill, it was our understanding that SeeD was hired to protect the Esthar delegation in Deling, including President Loire. How do you account for their complete and utter failure?”

“I do not see what happened as solely a failure of SeeD,” Kiros responded. “The fact is, I was the one who hired SeeD to protect President Loire as per my job as Head Attendant. I believed it to be the best course of action to ensure the president’s safety while also making sure to express our intentions to not return to the country we were under Sorceress Adel’s rule. The SeeDs assigned to our security detail acted with courage, integrity and acuity and were able to thwart other attempts that had been made on President Loire’s life by this traitor and the assassins he hired to carry out his plot.”

Kiros paused again and took a deep breath and those in the front rows were almost certain that they saw a slight tremor in Kiros’ posture as he continued to speak.

“By now, I am sure that most of you know that I have been at President Loire’s side for many years, proudly serving beside him as a soldier and even more proudly working alongside him to rebuild Esthar after Adel’s rule,” he said, his voice steady and yet tinged with emotion. “And so, I am certain that you can believe me when I say that I, along with Minister Zabac, SeeD and the Esthar security forces, put forth my best efforts to protect the president. The only failure that I see is the failure to fully appreciate the tenacity and cunning of our opponent. We believed, as I am sure the other major world powers believed, without question that we could stamp out any acts of terrorism from ever occurring and we were wrong to do so.”

Kiros stopped for a moment and many assumed that there would be another onslaught of questions and were surprised when there was nothing but silence.       

“Instead of working to assign blame for this incident, I ask that all of you join us in praying for a speedy recovery for our president,” Kiros added. “Your care and support during this dark hour means far more to President Loire and to all of us who serve him than any act of retaliation ever could. Thank you.”

Kiros nodded toward the crowd and then slowly walked back into the Presidential Palace before anyone could respond. There was a clamor for a few moments as various members of the press tried to push for another statement, but soon the crowd dispersed and the mood within Esthar grew quieter and far more somber as they contemplated the possibility that they might lose the person who had guided them to security and prosperity for almost two decades.

* * *

 

Once inside the Palace, Kiros went to one of the side rooms next to the lobby of the Palace and collapsed onto one of the couches there, his injures still making him prone to exhaustion after even minimal physical exertion. He leaned back and closed his eyes for several minutes while he worked to clear his mind.

He hoped that that statement would diffuse the antagonism that had been building toward Galbadia over the last forty-eight hours and that Garden would no longer bear the full brunt of any blame that could be leveled at everyone who had been charged with protecting the president. He was also aware; however, that the people could decide to turn on him instead and that by subtly placing the blame on his own head, he might have obliterated any chance of holding onto his position within the Estharian government. Still, it was a risk that Kiros was more than willing to take.

‘ _Laguna wouldn’t have wanted Squall and his friends to suffer because of what happened to him,’_ he thought to himself. _‘Preventing an assassination was never the primary reason that they accompanied us in the first place.’_

A sigh escaped Kiros’ lips as he remembered how Laguna had cajoled him into hiring SeeD and helping him find some way to make sure that Squall would be assigned to the mission. He knew that even the slightest chance that he could mend things with his son meant the world to Laguna, and Kiros had vehemently hoped that they would be able to reconcile. He had heard from Ward that there had been a lot of tension between Laguna and Squall right before Laguna was injured and captured by Sloclum, but Kiros had also noted that Squall was spending most of his time these days with his father, so Kiros hoped that that was a sign that progress had been made between them. 

Kiros sank down further into the couch and grunted as he realized how uncomfortable it was. He longed to return to his rooms and to rest in his own bed while letting his wife tend to him. Barring that, he wished that he could stop skulking away into drab, isolated corners of the palace just to avoid the other people who lived and worked there.

But going back to his living quarters and to Mara would also mean having to face her continued questioning of why he had avoided visiting Laguna. Wandering around the palace would mean possibly running into Ward and having to further explain why he had chosen to keep his distance. So far, Kiros had been able to dodge their questions by feigning the need to rest and by offering up the excuse that if Laguna were to suddenly wake up, it would be too big of a shock for him to find out that he wasn’t dead after all in his current condition.

Still, Kiros was aware that Ward and Mara knew him well enough to know that his excuse was just that, an excuse. It wouldn’t take long for them to dig down to the real reason why he could not face Laguna: guilt. Guilt for failing to protect his friend and guilt for perpetrating such a cruel deception on him. He knew that Laguna would have taken his death hard, and Kiros felt his heart twist every time he thought about how much pain he had put his friend through. Even though Kiros was certain that he would have made the same decisions if he had had the chance to do it all over again, that did not ease the guilt he felt in the slightest.

Kiros opened his eyes and sat up, his ribs protesting the sudden movement and causing him to groan. He was confident that there would be a lot for him to do in the near future with the situation in Esthar being what it was and with Laguna unable to perform any of his usual duties. He decided that it would be better to go back to his rooms to get something to eat and to try to get some rest before sequestering himself in his office so he could start tackling the mountain of work that was looming.

No matter what he was wrestling with in his soul, he still had a job to do, and Kiros figured that he might as well do it for as long as he still could.

* * *

 

It was during the morning of the third day that Squall decided that he needed to form a plan.

He leaned forward in his chair and rubbed his face several times before looking back up at Laguna’s motionless form. Despite all of Odine’s diligent and enthusiastic study and Kadowaki’s continued care, Laguna seemed no better now than he did when he was first brought to Esthar. He continued to be locked in a coma, his vital signs lethargic and gradually deteriorating.

During this time, there was a steady stream of visitors spending various amounts of time with Laguna, with only Kiros being noticeably absent. He thought about asking him why he hadn’t stopped by, but Squall decided to drop that idea when he realized that Kiros might not be able to explain his absence any more than he could explain his near continuous presence.

Squall wasn’t entirely sure why he spent so much time at his father’s side. At first, he chalked it up to feeling guilty about what he had said to Laguna the last time they talked or over the fact that his father had gotten hurt despite his mission to protect him. He discarded these ideas, however, when he realized that this ran far deeper. That was evidenced by the fact that he hadn’t been able to sleep very well ever since he had arrived in Esthar. He tried to distract himself with reports and other administrative duties from Garden remotely from his room at the palace and spent time with Ellone, Rinoa and his friends as a way to alleviate the stress he felt.

But eventually, he would always be drawn back to this place and into a silent vigil with Laguna. He couldn’t put a finger on it, but this seemed to be one of the few places where he could have a respite from the thoughts and feelings he continued to grapple with.

Seeing Laguna continue to fade away, however, also compelled him to find a way to act. Squall simply could not passively wait for some outside force to intervene one way or the other any longer.

It was while he was thinking back to the last couple of days that Squall finally came up with an idea. He wasn’t sure if it would work, but it was a plan, and that was better than nothing right now. He then sat up to wait for the person he would need to help him carry out this plan, knowing that it was only a matter of time before she showed up.

“Squall?”

Squall glanced over to see Ellone walking into the room. He stood up to meet her, and she responded by taking his hand and pulling him along while she moved toward the bed.

“How is he?” she asked, letting go of his hand and reached down to stroke Laguna’s arm.

“Doctor Kadowaki said that he’s stable overall, but that he is gradually weakening,” Squall said. “Right now, she is working on finding a way to help him regain some of his lost strength.”

“And Odine?” she nearly whispered.

“He’s still at it, but he hasn’t really found out anything useful,” Squall said. “Nothing that will cure this.”

“I wish there was something we could do,” Ellone said, her voice catching.

“Maybe there is,” Squall said. Ellone looked up at him.

“What do you mean?”

“You said that you could only find a trace of Laguna’s consciousness, right?” he continued.

“Yes,” she replied. “I’ve tried more than once, but I can’t communicate with him.”

“Do you think you could still send him into the past?” Squall asked.

“I…I might be able to,” Ellone said. “But why? Squall, you know that, even if I were to send him into the past, the past can’t be changed.”

“I know,” he replied. “I know that we can’t change the past, but maybe it’s like you said before and we can change the present for Laguna at least.”

Ellone tilted her head at him, her expression quizzical while Squall moved to stand in front of her.

“Listen, you said that you thought that maybe Laguna was lost or something and that that might be why he isn’t waking up,” he said. “Well, maybe all he needs is a push.”

“A push?”

“Yes,” Squall nodded. “Send him back to a place that’s comforting and maybe that will give him strength and an incentive to fight his way out of this. At the very least, maybe he’ll realize that he’s out of danger and that it’s safe for him to return.”

“I see,” Ellone said, her expression brightening. “I think you may have something. But…where should I send him?”

“I don’t know,” Squall said, shaking his head. “I was hoping that you could figure that out. After all, you know him better.”

“All right,” she said. “I’ll try. But I’ll need some time alone while I do this.” Squall nodded and backed out of the room.

“I’ll let Kadowaki and Odine know about what you’re doing,” he said before he left. “I should be able to get you a couple of hours.”

“That should be fine,” Ellone said. “And Squall…thank you.”

Squall nodded again and took off down the hallway while Ellone sat down in the chair that Squall was sitting in when she came in. She pulled her shawl up around her shoulders, wrapping it tight against her, and then took one of Laguna’s hands into both of hers.

‘ _Somewhere comforting…something that would inspire him to come back,’_ she mused. Soon, an inspiration struck her and she smiled.

“Uncle Laguna,” she murmured. “I know that you can’t hear me, but I…I just want you to know that I’m doing this because I love you…and because Squall needs you so much.”

Ellone closed her eyes and concentrated. She wasn’t entirely sure if this would work, but she also had a faint, yet horrible premonition that if it didn’t, nothing would.

 


	18. Chapter 18

_The first thing that Laguna noticed was the sweet and somewhat overpowering fragrance of flowers, and he wondered where it was coming from._

_He cracked one eye open and found himself staring at a snow-white flower, its bloom splayed out directly in front of him, and he finally remembered seeing it the last time he dared to open his eyes. Not being able to think of any reason to pull himself out of his languid state, Laguna was about to close his eyes again when a voice, faint and familiar, stopped him._

_‘Laguna….’_

_‘….Raine?’_

_Laguna’s eyes snapped open. He was surprised to discover that he was lying on a bed of white flowers, all of them identical and perfect. He recognized them as the flowers he had given Raine as a birthday present years ago. He shifted his head and blinked as a few more pale petals fluttered down to rest beside him._

_‘Where am I?’ he asked himself. ‘How did I get here?’_

_Laguna blinked again and pulled himself up into a sitting position. He was in a field under a clear sky, surrounded by flowers. It only took him seconds to become conscious of the fact that it looked just like the landscape of Winhill._

_“Raine?” he said, standing up. “Raine, where are you? Are you here?”_

_Laguna looked down at his hands and saw the wedding band on his finger. He then ran his fingers through his hair and realized that it was long and threaded with grey._

_‘What is going on? This isn’t the past. And yet…I…I was so sure that….’_

_‘Laguna….’_

_Laguna spun around wildly, trying to locate the source of the voice he kept hearing. He knew that it was Raine, but he couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. It took him a few more seconds before he finally realized that the voice he was hearing was inside his head._

_It was then that he felt a strange feeling overtake him and his legs begin to wobble. It didn’t take him long to recognize this sensation._

_“Elle? Elle, what are you doing? Where are you sending me?”_

_Laguna thought he could hear Ellone from a distance and strained to listen, but couldn’t make out anything that she said.  Soon, he felt his vision grow dark and he collapsed back onto the flowers._

* * *

 

_(Where am I? The past. But whose past? Mine or…?)_

 “Honestly Laguna, do you always have to leave a mess behind?”

_(Wait...that’s…that’s….)_

Raine Loire put her hands on her hips and huffed at the sight in front of her. She had been trying to do some spring cleaning and had found a stash of old magazines and food wrappers that Laguna had dumped in a corner of the closet. She rolled her eyes and crouched down to pull the pile out so she could throw away the trash and stuff the magazines into a box for safe-keeping. Her movements were hindered, however, by the bulge in her abdomen, the result of being eight months pregnant.

_(Raine…I’m in Raine’s past….)_

_‘I know I told him to straighten his stuff up, and this is what I get?’_ she thought to herself as she worked. _‘Well, I didn’t tell him exactly what I meant by that, so I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.’_

_(Raine, I’m so sorry. You had to put up with so much from me. I wish you knew how sorry I was for all that…and how I love you. Hyne, Raine I love you….)_

 Raine paused just as she picked up the last candy wrapper and put a hand over her heart. She could have sworn that she had just heard Laguna say that he loved her, but she quickly dismissed it as a memory of him playing tricks on her.

_(No Raine, I’m here. I’m right here. If only you could hear me tell you how much I love you…)_

Raine stood back up and walked over to the oval mirror hanging on the opposite wall. After noting that the frame needed dusting, she smiled and moved her hands onto the bump under her sweater.

 _‘Laguna, I wish that you could have come home with Ellone,’_ she thought _. ‘I’ve was hoping that you would be back before this baby arrived, but I don’t think he’s is going to be willing much longer for you to return. When are you coming home?’_

_(I’m sorry that I wasn’t there. I should have come back with Elle. I was so stupid not to.)_

Raine smiled even more and rubbed her belly.

_‘I don’t care what the villagers say; I just know that we’re going to have a boy. I hope he looks like you. Although, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stay sane if he acts like you too.’_

_(He’s nothing like me, Raine. He’s just like you. And that means that he’s far more than I could ever be.)_

_‘I don’t know you’re doing in Esthar, but…you need to hurry up and get back here,’_ Raine mused _. ‘You need to meet your son. And I…I just hope that you like him. I know that I already love him, and I hope that you will love him too.’_

_(I do. I love him so much. I’d give him the world if I could. But I…I screwed up and he doesn’t want anything to do with me.)_

“Raine, what’s wrong? Are yoo all right?”

Raine turned to see Ellone standing in the doorway behind her and she brushed away the tears that she didn’t even notice that she had shed.

“I’m all right,” she said. “I was just…I was just thinking about Laguna and how much I miss him.”

“I miss him too,” Ellone said. “But he said he’d come back soon. He prwomised.”

“I know,” Raine said. “I’m sure he’ll come back. It’s just hard to wait sometimes.” Raine then smiled and knelt down in front of Ellone and embraced her.

“He’s sure going to be surprised when he comes back,” Raine said with a laugh. “I can’t wait to see his face when he finds out that he’s going to be a father. Maybe I’ll finally be able to convince him to stop being such a kid.”

“Nah,” Ellone giggled. “Then he wouldn’t be Uncle Laguna.” Raine laughed even more and held Ellone close to her.

“No, you’re right about that,” she said. “And you know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

_(Raine….)_

_‘I love you, Laguna…and I always will….’_

* * *

 

_When Laguna opened his eyes again, he saw that he was back on the bed of flowers, and he started to weep. Even though he knew that Ellone couldn’t send him into the past permanently, a part of him had hoped that he could stay there with Raine somehow._

_His tears increased when he considered how she had believed until the very end that he would come back for her and how she must have felt as she lie dying, her one fervent wish never fulfilled. He wondered if there could ever be any forgiveness for his actions…or if he would ever feel like he deserved it._

_He then thought about all of the hope that Raine had had for their child, all the dreams and wishes she had for their son’s future that he could see in her mind, and it pained him to think about what lie ahead for Squall._

_Moments later, the darkness descended on him again, and Laguna knew that Ellone was sending him to another point in the past._

_‘Elle…why are you doing this? Where are you….?’_

_‘Laguna…Laguna, you need to go…Please. You need to….’_

_Even as his vision began to fade and he fell backward again, Laguna struggled to hear what Raine was trying to tell him._

_“Raine, what is it? Where do I need to go? What do I need to do? Raine….”_

* * *

 

“Hey, did you hear? There’s some people here and they’re looking for a kid to take home.”

_(Wha…where am I now?)_

A small red-headed child grinned and ran off with another pair of boys while a woman with long hair who was dressed in all black walked into the room.

“Boys, behave yourselves,” she said. “Don’t run inside.”

“We won’t, Matron,” a pair of voices called out. The woman referred to as Matron shook her head.

“Those two are such a handful,” she said. She then smiled gently and knelt down.

“Well Squall, how are you feeling today?”

_(Squall? I’m in Squall’s past? Then this must be the orphanage where he grew up. That’s right, I recognize that woman. Edea Kramer. She and her husband ran this place. I stopped by here when I was looking for Elle….)_

“I’m all right,” Squall mumbled. “Matron, who are those people over there?”

Edea glanced behind her at the couple who walked into the room before placing her hand on his head to stroke his hair.

“Don’t worry,” she said. “They’re nice people. They’re here to find a child to make a member of their family. Would you like to meet them?”

“….” Squall bowed his head and tugged at the corner of his shirt while Edea continued to play with his hair.

_‘I want Sis to come back.’_

_(Sis? He means Elle. Elle must already be gone. Squall….)_

“Matron.”

“What is it?”

“Is it true?” Squall said. “About what you said about how sometimes there are people you can’t see who are watching out for us?” Edea smiled again and gave him a pat on the head.

“Of course,” she said. “Often, there are people who have left this world who still find a way to walk among us. Even if we can’t see them or touch them, they are here, watching over us and caring for us, just the same. Why do you ask?”

“I think they’re here,” Squall replied. “Here with us right now.”

“Squall….”

“Edea. Do you know where I put those forms? I was hoping to get them started on that here in a little bit.”

Edea and Squall looked over to see a man with glasses and a round, sincere-looking face walking toward them. Edea stood up and brushed the folds in her dress away.

“They’re on the top-right hand corner your desk, dear,” she said. “Where you put them this morning.”  

“Oh that’s right,” the man said. He then turned to face the couple who stood near the window. “I’ll just get them ready here. Feel free to wander around and talk to the children.”

_(I remember him. He’s Edea’s husband. Cid, I think)_

“Thank you,” the woman answered as she looped her arm around her husband’s. Cid nodded and dashed away while Edea glanced back down at Squall.

“I need to check on the boys outside,” she said. “I’ll be back soon.”

“Yes, Matron,” Squall said, looking down into his lap.

Edea walked away and exchanged some words with the couple, who were still surveying the children around him. Squall saw out of the corner of his eye that Edea gestured at him a couple times before walking out the door, and soon the man and woman walked over to stand in front of him.

“Hello there,” the woman said with a cheery grin. “Edea tells me that your name is Squall. My name is Beatisa. It’s nice to meet you.”

Squall slowly lifted his head and saw a woman with brown hair, brown eyes and a bright smile.

“….”

“What’s the matter?” the man said. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”

“Dear, Mrs. Kramer did say that the boy is shy,” Beatisa said.

“Shy?” the man said with a snort. “More like rude, if you ask me.”

_(Don’t talk to him that way. He’s just quiet, is all. He doesn’t know you.)_

“Squall, this is my husband, Alisdair,” Beatisa tried again. “Oh, I see that you have a plush Moogle in your lap. Do you like Moogles? Does he have a name?”

Squall continued to stare at Beatisa. He knew that he should probably say something, but something about the way they looked at him, the way they seemed to be inspecting him for flaws, made him unable to form the words.

“This is getting us nowhere,” Alisdair huffed. “Come on, Bea; let’s find some of the other kids.”

“But Alisdair….”

“Forget it,” Alisdair interrupted. “There’s no way I’m taking in a surly, gloomy kid like that. He’s probably better off in a place like this.”

_(How dare you say that to him? I’m glad he’s not going with you. You don’t deserve him.)_

Alisdair stormed off while Beatisa looked down, her eyes sad and sympathetic.

“I’m sorry, Squall,” she said. “I hope you find a home very soon.” She then left to find her husband. Squall hunched down and stared into the smiling face of the toy Moogle in his lap.

_‘I knew they wouldn’t like me. None of the grownups who come here do. That’s why I’m still here. That’s why I’ll never get a home like Sefie or Irvy did.’_

_(Don’t say that, Squall. If they had given you a chance, I’m sure they would have realized that you’re a great kid. That guy was just mean, plain and simple.)_

Squall held the Moogle doll tighter against him, burying his face into its head.

_‘I don’t care. I don’t care if they don’t like me. I don’t need them. I’m going to learn to take care of myself, so that I can see Sis again.’_

_(Squall….)_

Several minutes later, Squall spun toward the wall as he heard footsteps heading toward the room, and he buried his face even deeper into the pink fur, only peeking out occasionally at the scene behind him.

“Well everything seems to be in order,” Cid said as he headed back toward his office.

“When can we take him home?” Beatisa asked.

“This afternoon will be fine,” Cid answered her. “I’m sure he’s looking forward to his new home.”

Cid shuffled away, and Beatisa walked over to the window and clasped her hands together.

“Isn’t this exciting, Alisdair?” she said. “We’re actually going to have a son of our own.”

“I guess,” Alisdair said. “Look Bea, I know I said I’d go along with this, but…Just don’t expect me to get too involved, all right? I’ll make sure you and this kid have everything you need, but he’s going to be your responsibility. You got that?”

Alisdair walked away, and Beatisa frowned for only a moment before looking back at the window with a wistful smile on her face.

“He’ll come around,” she told herself. “I just know he will. That child is so carefree, so full of energy. I’m sure he’ll be a joy to have in our lives…and that one day, he will make us proud.”

“Excuse me,” Edea said as she walked into the room. “Mrs. Dincht. There are a couple more forms that you will need to sign before you can take the boy home.”

“Oh of course,” Beatisa said. “And thank you again. Cute little Zell is going to have a whole new life in Balamb.”

Edea and Beatisa walked out of the room, and Squall closed his eyes.

_‘Where are you, Sis? Why did you leave me alone? I thought you liked me.’_

_(Squall…I….)_

* * *

 

_Laguna’s vision went black again, and the way his head swam told him that Ellone was still moving him through time._

_‘Laguna….’_

_‘Raine? Elle, please stop this. Let me stay with Raine. Don’t send me back again.’_

_‘Laguna…please, you have to….Please take care….’_

_“Raine, I can’t hear you. What is it that you want me to do?”_

* * *

 

“There he is,” one of the boys scoffed. “Look at him. Sitting there, staring at nothing.”

“Yeah, he’s messed up,” another boy said. “Always staring and never saying anything.”

“I don’t like him,” yet another boy replied. “Gives me the creeps.”

_(Where is this place? This isn’t the orphanage. Whose past am I in now?)_

“All right, children, settle down,” a woman said as she entered the room and clapped her hands. “It’s time for today’s lesson. Leonhart, have you brought your homework?”

_(Leonhart? I must still be in Squall’s past. Then this must be Balamb Garden. But why is he here now? Didn’t he ever get adopted? Wait no…he must not have. That’s why he still has Raine’s maiden name. Why didn’t he get my name?)_

Eight-year-old Squall didn’t answer. Instead he silently nodded and handed a small disc over to the instructor. He then returned to his seat at the back of the class and bowed his head down, making sure not to make eye contact with anyone else in the room.

“Creep,” one of the boys whispered to him as he sat down. The other two with him sniggered. Squall refused to respond to their taunts.

_‘Who cares? They’ll just miss the stuff the instructor is saying. They won’t get to be SeeDs because they won’t listen.’_

_(That’s right, Squall. Just ignore them. Don’t let them bully you.)_

The instructor gathered up homework from the other students and then gave a short lecture about the history of guardian forces and how they came to be used by people to enable them to have para-magic abilities. Once she was done, she dismissed the class and the students cheered.

“Yay, it’s time for spring break.”

“I’m going to go see my parents.”

“Mine are waiting for me out in the parking lot. Dad said that he’d take us out on a boat and that we’re all going fishing.”

“Aw man, that sounds like so much fun. Wish my parents were doing that.”

Many of the kids were rushing toward the elevators, scrambling to make it down to the main floor and to the freedom of vacation. Squall ambled along after them. He thought about going to the library or maybe to the training center, but instead, his feet moved of their own accord and took him to the entrance area of Garden.

There he sat down on the ground and watched as students streamed out of Garden while he worked to look bored and impassive about the whole thing. There were numerous adults waiting there, and many of the children ran over to them.

“Mom, I missed you.”

“Dad, can we go to the beach?”

“Mom, Dad, I got a perfect score on my latest exam.”

“Mom, can Isa go with us on our trip?”

“Dad…I love you.”

Squall studied the scene in front of him. As children and adults enjoyed a joyous reunion, he felt something twist inside him, a burning wetness springing to his eyes.

_‘No one’s ever that happy to see me. No one wanted me to be my mom or dad.’_

_(I would have loved to raise you. To have you be a part of my life.)_

The area around Squall soon became quiet as the people filed out toward Balamb and a variety of other destinations. Soon, the only sounds came from Garden staff and a few of the other students. Squall frowned and curled his hand into a fist, punching it against the grass.

_‘Whatever. None of that matters. I can take care of myself. I don’t need parents taking care of me and telling me what to do. I’m doing just fine on my own. I don’t need them.’_

Squall repeated that mantra in his head over and over again, trying his best to sear it into his brain. But even as he did so, he felt his heart grow heavier and heavier and soon he buried his face against his knees.

_‘Why do I care? Why do I care about those other kids having parents? I shouldn’t. It doesn’t have anything to do with me. So why do I keep hoping that maybe…maybe there’s some chance that my mom and dad are…?’_

Squall scrubbed his forearm against his face and lifted his head to stare at the scenery around him.

_'This is stupid. My parents are dead. That’s why I was at that orphanage. Dead people don’t come back, so there’s no point in wishing for something that won’t happen.’_

_(Squall thinks both Raine and I are gone. He probably thought that his whole life. Poor kid. No wonder why it was so tough on him when he found out the truth.)_

Squall got up and brushed the dirt and bits of grass off his clothes. There were no tasks or chores that needed to be done, but Squall was determined to find something to do, some better way to fill his time than to dream about things that could never come true.

_‘I’m going to be a SeeD, and someday I’m going to see Sis again. That’s all that matters.’_

* * *

 

_L_ _aguna barely had time to register that scene in front of him was fading before he realized that he was traveling to yet another point in the past._

_‘Elle, can you hear me? What is going on? Why do you keep doing this?’_

_‘Laguna….’_

_Laguna clamped his hands onto the sides of his head and screwed his eyes shut. He hated feeling so close to Raine while still being too far away from her to know where she was._

_“Raine, I need to find you. Please tell me where you are.”_

_‘Laguna…to go….Please take care of our…..’_

* * *

 

“What’s the matter Squally? You gonna cry now?”

_(What is this? What are you doing to Squall?)_

At thirteen, Squall was already proficient at defending himself in hand-to-hand combat and he was frustrated that he wasn’t able to do more against his opponents. Still, even his skills were not enough to overcome the fact that he was facing a three-on-one fight.

_‘Seifer….’_

_(Seifer? Seifer Almasy? I heard he was trained at Balamb Garden, but I didn’t know that he knew Squall as a kid. Did he torment Squall growing up too?)_

“Hey Rai, Fu, hold him still,” Seifer said with a smirk. “He needs to learn what happens when you cross the Garden Disciplinary Committee.”

Fuijin and Raijin nodded and tightened their hold on Squall’s arms while they dragged him closer to Seifer.

“You’re going to get what’s coming to you, ya know,” Raijin snickered. “Can’t have you mouthing off to the disciplinary committee, ya know.”

“PUNISHMENT,” Fujin added.

Seifer grinned even more and cracked the knuckles in both of his hands before slamming a fist against Squall’s abdomen. Squall grunted and bent forward from the force of the blow, but showed no other reaction.

“Come on, Squally,” Seifer laughed as he punched Squall a couple more times. “I expected more out of you.”

_(Stop it! Let him go. Where are the instructors? Please, somebody help him.)_

He struck Squall’s jaw, causing Squall’s head to snap to the side. Seifer saw blood spurt onto Squall’s lip, and he looked down at his hand to see a few of the scarlet drops on his skin. He flicked them away and grabbed Squall’s hair, yanking it so Squall would be forced to face him.

“You know, you should be thanking me,” Seifer continued. “I’m helping you get ready for the field, ‘cause this is nothing compared to what you’ll get out there. Why, without me around, who would make sure that you learned to stop being a crybaby and keep you on your toes? Well, what have you got to say to me Squall?”

_‘Nothing,’ Squall thought to himself. ‘I don’t care about what you think or what you do. I can take anything you give to me. I just have to block it out and it won’t matter.’_

“Nothing to say, huh?” Seifer said, letting go of Squall’s hair. “Looks like Squally here is a slow learner. Well then, maybe we need to give you a few more lessons.”

Seifer balled up his fist again, and Squall glared at him silently, bracing himself for the impact when a voice from behind caught his attention.

“Seifer, stop this now.”

_(Thank Hyne. Who’s there? An instructor?)_

Everyone turned to see a blond girl in a pink dress running toward them, a stern look on her face. 

“What are you doing, Seifer?” the girl said, putting her hands on her hips. “Fighting again with Squall. It figures. I see that you still can’t fight fair and need your lackeys to back you up.”

“Hey, we’re not just lackeys, ya know,” Raijin protested.

“PARTNERS,” Fujin chimed in.

“Whatever you are, that doesn’t change the fact that Seifer can’t seem fight his own battles,” the girl shot back.

Seifer smirked and snapped his fingers at Fuijin and Raijin, who immediately let go of Squall’s arms. Squall shrugged away from them and walked a couple paces to the side, turning his back on everyone else there.

_(Hey, wait a minute. That girl looks familiar. Isn’t that…?)_

“Are you all right, Squall?” the girl asked. Squall swiped the back of his hand over his mouth, smearing the blood onto his chin.

“…I’m fine,” he mumbled.

“There, you see Quistis,” Seifer snorted. “I was just helping him train. There was no need for you to butt in. Just because everyone says that you’ll be taking the SeeD exam in a couple months doesn’t give you the right to be so bossy.”

_(I thought that was Quistis. At least Squall has his friends here to help him out.)_

“And Garden never made you an instructor or officially sanctioned your ‘disciplinary committee’,” Quistis replied. “So the way I see it, you do not have the authority to conduct any sort of ‘training’. Or should we take this up with the headmaster?” 

“Hmph, this is a waste of time,” Seifer said. “Come on, Rai, Fu, I’m sure we can find something better to do. I’ll be seeing you later, Squally. You can count on it.”

Seifer laughed again as he walked away with Raijin and Fujin following close behind. Once they were gone, Quistis went over to Squall and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” she asked.

_(I don’t care what he says, no he’s not fine. Stay with him. Take him to the infirmary or something.)_

“I said I’m fine,” Squall said, jerking away from her touch. “I’ll just take a potion in my room. I don’t need any help.”

“Oh, ok,” Quistis said hesitantly. “If you’re sure….”

“I am,” Squall cut in.

“All right,” Quistis said, backing away. “Well if you ever do need anything, just ask. I’ll be here.”

Quistis walked away, and Squall slowly trudged back to his room.

_(Wait, don’t leave him alone. Quistis, come back.)_

After arriving at his room in the dormitory, Squall opened a drawer in his bed-stand and rummaged around in it for a moment until he found a pouch containing several, small glass vials. He took the cap off one and gulped down the contents, and moments later, the pain of his injuries faded. He then walked over to the bathroom and washed off his face and put his bloodied shirt in the laundry hamper.

He grabbed another shirt out of his dresser and slipped it on before sitting on his bed and lying down. Squall moved to lay on his side and curled his limbs close to him.

_‘Seifer…why does he keep bothering me? Why won’t Quistis mind her own business? Why do people feel like they have to get involved with my life?’_

_‘I just want them to go away. Why can’t they see that? What do I have to do to get them to leave me alone?’_

Squall closed his eyes and buried his face in his pillow, clutching at the fabric as tears started to leak out of his eyes.

_‘I hate this. I hate feeling this way. Why can’t I stop feeling? Feelings are worthless. They just get in the way and make you weak and helpless. I don’t want to be weak and helpless anymore. They’re just like people: maybe it’s nice to have them around for a while, but then something always goes wrong and then all you’re left with is this open wound.’_

_(Squall, that’s not true. I know it’s tough sometimes, but a life without emotions or other people isn’t really a life at all. It’s just existing, not living.)_

Squall’s breath hitched and he found it hard to swallow as the lump in his throat swelled up even more.

_‘I can’t do this. I have to learn to be alone. I have to stop myself from feeling. I can’t rely on other people. I just can’t.’_

_‘But…but I….’_

_(Squall please. Please don’t cry. I’m here. I swear I won’t leave you alone anymore.)_

_(Wait…no. Elle not yet. Don’t make me leave yet. Squall needs me….)_

* * *

 

_"Elle!”_

_Laguna gasped and fell forward onto the flowers again, his body cushioned by the thick lining of petals. He immediately pushed himself back up into a kneeling position and with his hands pressed against the ground and his arms bracing him as he stared down at the flowers below him. He then took several deep breaths as he tried to reorient his senses after all the interludes into the past Ellone had sent his consciousness on._

_Soon he hung his head and let the tears drip out of his eyes again. Even though he could plainly hear Squall’s mind tell himself over and over again that he didn’t need or want anyone, Laguna could tell that Squall’s heart felt something else, something far different than a desire to be left alone and to banish every emotion from his being._

_“Raine,” Laguna wept. “I’m sorry. I want to stay here with you so badly, but…I have to go back. I know Squall doesn’t want me, but I can’t abandon him. Even if he hates me for the rest of his life and mine, I have to be there for him.”_

_“Laguna.”_

_Soft hands caressed Laguna’s shoulders, and he closed his eyes and sighed. He didn’t have to turn around to know who was touching him._

_“Thank you,” Laguna murmured. “I know that you were the one who saved me from that…whatever it was that Sloclum was trying to do to me.”_

_“You’re welcome,” Raine whispered in his ear. “But you should know by now that I love you and that I’m always with you. You’re never as alone as you might think you are, remember? You’re the one who told me that.”_

_“I guess I did, didn’t I?” Laguna said as he sat up and wiped his eyes. Laguna shifted himself around so he could face her, and he had to stifle a gasp when he looked up at her face._

_“Hyne Raine, you haven’t changed at all,” he breathed. “You’re still so beautiful.” Raine smiled and cupped his face with her hands._

_“Flatterer,” she said. “I see you haven’t changed either.”_

_“I don’t know about that,” Laguna replied. “I’ve gotten old. Look at all these grey hairs.”_

_“Listen to you,” Raine smirked as she ran her fingers along his scalp. “You might have a little silver in your hair, but you are still the same man I remember washing up on the shores near Winhill all those years ago.”_

_Laguna reached up and covered Raine’s hands and wrists with his hands as he stared into her eyes, his gaze imploring._

_“Raine, I do love you. I always will,” he said. “And I am so sorry that I can’t stay. But….” Raine stopped him by putting a hand over his lips._

_“I know,” she said. “Our son needs you. I wish I could go back with you so we could be a family. You, me, Squall and Ellone. But…I can’t. I have to stay here, and you need to go to him. Please Laguna, take care Squall and Ellone.”_

_“I will,” Laguna said as he moved her hand away and kissed her palm. “But Raine, I…I don’t know for sure if I can make it back.”_

_Raine stroked his cheek and then crouched down so she was sitting in front of him. She then held out her arms and Laguna embraced her, holding her as close as he could against him._

_“You can make it back,” she said. “I know you can. You are far stronger than you give yourself credit for, Laguna Loire. And you won’t have to do this alone. Just hold onto me and we will fight for your way back together.”_


	19. Chapter 19

Irvine leaned on the railing on the balcony attached to his room at the Palace. He glanced down at the entrance and saw yet another person placing a bouquet of flowers on the ground. The pathway near the Palace was starting to resemble a garden with numerous people bringing flowers and quietly leaving them, many weeping openly while they did it. The wreaths and bouquets were in surprisingly neat rows and had been fashioned into a separate lane of color, the thought being that no one wanted to disrupt traffic in and out of the Palace just in case their president needed someone to show up quickly to tend to him.

Irvine let out a long sigh and shook his head and he slouched down onto his forearms. It had now been six days since they had arrived in Esthar. There was still little change in Laguna’s condition other than a slight resurgence in his vital signs that was, unfortunately staring to slowly lose ground. Kadowaki had made sure to monitor Laguna constantly while the sophisticated potion distillations that she had access to in Esthar’s medical labs had made it so that Laguna’s wounds had healed with only minimal scarring. In the meantime, Odine continued to analyze and experiment with the shards he had been giving all while complaining that he could learn more if he could run more invasive tests on Laguna or if he had intact crystals instead of the fragments he had been given.

Still, their combined efforts seemed futile as Laguna continued to remain unconscious and unresponsive. Irvine was sure that the doctors and scientists of Esthar would not give up easily on this, but he could still sense a pervasive feeling of defeat whenever he saw them examining Laguna or heard them talk about his case.

“Yo Irvine, what are you doing here?”

Irvine turned at the waist to see Zell walking up to him while waving his hand. Irvine tilted his hat up and went back to studying the city skyline.

“Selphie’s looking for you,” Zell continued as he moved to stand next to him. “She said something about wanting your help to arrange a ‘get-well-get-together’ for Laguna.”

“Get-well-get-together?” Irvine said, disbelief in his tone. Zell shrugged.

“Hey, that’s what she called it,” he said, placing his gloved hands onto the railing. “She said that it would help us get our minds off this whole thing and could send a lot of positive energy to Laguna or something. She said that Laguna would probably be all for it.”

“The thing is, he probably would,” Irvine said with a half-hearted smile. “Although, I don’t know about how I’d feel about trying to get Squall involved in something like that.”

“Yeah, I was thinking about that too,” Zell nodded. “I mean, it’s a good idea and all, but….”

Zell shrugged again as he let his words trail off and Irvine nodded in response. A few seconds later, Irvine stood and arched his back for a moment before slouching against the railing. He looked down again at the line of flowers in front of the Palace. In some ways, they seemed so out of place with the gleaming, futuristic landscape of the city, and yet the vivid hues were accentuated by the way the sunlight bounced off the surfaces of the roads and buildings around them.

“And to be honest,” Irvine finally added. “I don’t feel much like celebrating anything, anyway. I know Selphie means well and is trying to cheer Squall up, but I….”

“He’s not a real ‘party’ type of guy,” Zell finished for him with a grin. “Yeah, he’s been like that for a while. I remember when we passed our SeeD exams and the party after that. He didn’t crack a smile once. I think if he had his way, he would have just spent the evening in his room. Sometimes, it’s hard to believe that he and Laguna are related.”

Zell let out a laugh and pushed himself away from the railing, stretching his arms out as he did it.

“But hey, it’s cool,” he continued. “It’s just part of what makes Squall…Squall, you know. I know everyone thinks that he should be a certain way or should have everything figured out, but…I dunno I guess I think that’s a little weird to expect out of anyone. I know I’m still trying to figure things out for myself and I just kinda imagined that it’s the same for him.”

Zell smiled again and scratched the back of his head before pumping his fist in the air.

“And that’s why he’s lucky to have me around,” he said. “Whenever he has a question about anything on a mission, he’s got Mr-Know-It-All-Zell to give him all the answers.”

Irvine laughed and shook his head. He wasn’t sure if Squall had meant that as a compliment, but he also figured that the fact that Zell decided to take it as one said a lot about him. Zell looked confused for a second before laughing along with him for a couple moments before they both went back to leaning against the railing and staring at the city.

“I really hope Laguna gets better,” Zell said. “He’s a cool guy, and I think Squall would really miss him.”

“And if this flower display out front is any indication, a lot of people in Esthar would miss him too,” Irvine sighed with a wave of his hand. He then ducked his head down even more.

“If he dies,” Irvine said in a near whisper. “It’ll be my fault.” Zell started violently and whirled to face him.

“What?!” Irvine sighed again, his grip on the railing tightening.

“Danior…” he said. “I knew what I was up against with him. I knew that I would only have one chance to shoot him. And I knew that, in a fair fight, there was an excellent chance that he would beat me. So I...I hesitated. I could have fired before I did, but I…I wanted to have the perfect shot, a shot I knew couldn’t fail.”

“I thought you said you couldn’t get a clear shot because of all the people running around,” Zell replied.

“That was only part of it,” Irvine snapped. “Don’t you get it? I choked. Just like before when I was supposed to shoot Matron in Deling, during the whole Ultimecia thing.”

“The hell?” Zell said, punching a fist against the railing. “What are you saying? Are you saying that you wish you had shot Matron?”

“No, of course not,” Irvine replied.

“Then what’s the problem?” Zell huffed.

“The problem is I couldn’t do my job,” Irvine shot back. “I’m a sharpshooter, Zell. I can’t afford to hesitate, to second-guess myself. I let my fears about Danior get in the way which gave Danior the opportunity to shoot Laguna and consequently made it easy for him to get kidnapped by Sloclum. All of this…all of this because I had to have the perfect shot.”

Irvine pulled the brim of his hat down and turned his eyes back toward the street below, determined to not look at Zell. He had surprised himself by saying all this to him. He and Zell were friendly, but Irvine doubted that they could be considered close, and he wasn’t sure if Zell could understand him or how he felt anyway. 

“Tch,” Zell hissed while turning his head to face the skyline. “You’re so full of it, Irvine, you know that? It’s just like Selphie says: you act like you’re this mysterious loner who’s constantly misunderstood. You can’t stand it when someone has you figured out without any help from you.”

Irvine frowned and glanced over at Zell, expecting to see an angry look on his face, but was shocked to see that Zell’s expression was thoughtful instead.

“You know, you’re not the only person who’s made mistakes and had to think about other people paying for his screw-up,” the fighter continued. “And…and I’m sure that nobody who’s still left at Trabia will forget about it either.”

Irvine tilted his head; quizzical for only a moment before he remembered Selphie telling him about how Zell had accidently blurted out that Seifer was from Garden during the attempt to assassinate Vinzer Deling. It was a stupid mistake and all the Gardens could have paid dearly for it. Irvine couldn’t blame him for obsessing over it. He knows that he certainly would have.

“You know Ma—that Ultimecia would have gone after the Gardens eventually anyway, right?” Irvine asked him. “And that what you did probably didn’t really matter in the long run?”

“Yeah, I know that now,” Zell said. “Most of the time, anyway. Still, once in a while, I think that maybe…maybe if I hadn’t shot my mouth off, Trabia and the rest of them could have more time. Time to prepare, time to…I don’t know, time to do something. But yeah…I guess there was no guarantee that Trabia could have made it. Who knows if anyone there knew that it was mobile too….”

“Zell,” Irvine said, looking back down at his hands. “I…thanks.”

“Ah, don’t worry about it,” Zell said. “That’s why I’m here you know. Yeah… Mr-Know-It-All-Zell does it again.”

Zell spread his feet and stretched out his arms into a victory pose. Irvine chuckled again, and for the first time in days it didn’t feel the least bit forced.

* * *

 

Ward Zabac walked down the halls of the Presidential Palace, his pace both deliberate and aimless.

He had just visited Laguna again and had asked Kadowaki for her latest updates. Unfortunately, she did not have anything good to tell him.

“ _I’m sorry Minister Zabac. President Loire’s vitals are stable for the most part, but…I am afraid that the longer he remains in this state, the less likely it is that he will ever come out of it.”_

After conferring with her, Ward had sat at Laguna’s bedside, occasionally rubbing his shoulder and arm to let his friend know that he was there. He didn’t bother with Odine, partially because Odine was frustrating to talk to and partially because he knew that Kiros was making sure to keep Odine focused on trying to find some way to reverse what had been done as opposed to merely satisfying his own curiosity.

Ward shook his head when he thought about Kiros. He knew that Kiros had not stopped by to see Laguna once, even though he had made sure to keep track of every single update on his friend’s condition. One time, Ward had seen him standing in the doorway to Laguna’s room, staring, seemingly hesitant to know what to do next, before walking away, and it angered Ward.  He was still a little angry at Kiros for making him think that he was dead, but he had mostly gotten over that. That didn’t stop him from being even more upset at how he was avoiding Laguna.

_‘He says he doesn’t want to upset or shock Laguna if he wakes up, but that’s crap and he knows it. It’s not about Laguna, it’s about him. His guilt and his not wanting to face Laguna’s feelings about the whole thing.’_

Ward frowned as he turned a corner in the hallway. A part of him wanted to tear into Kiros for acting so selfishly, but he also knew that Kiros was grappling with a lot right now.

Kiros’ speech had not gone unnoticed by certain members of the council, and Ward had heard that there were some who felt that Kiros should be removed from his position for failing to protect the president of Esthar. Ward was also aware that the only reason why no action had been taken so far is because Kiros was shouldering all of Laguna’s normal duties as well as his own, and no one had been able to come up with a suitable successor yet.

_‘And yet these are the same people would have claimed to be completely loyal to Kiros if you had asked them a couple months ago. But what else can you expect from a bunch of career politicians?’_

Ward scowled even more and stopped walking to look outside through a nearby window. Even though he had been deeply involved with the politics of Esthar for years, that aspect of his job was never a comfortable one for him. He preferred the battlefield to government offices, but he understood the importance of what he was doing and wanted to help Laguna with his presidency as much as he could.

‘ _And that’s just what Kiros is trying to do too right now: trying to make sure that everything holds together until Laguna wakes up, trying to do the work of five people when he should be staying in his rooms and letting Mara take care of him so he can recover.’_

Ward took a deep breath and resumed his stroll down the hallway. After all these years, he could still remember the day when Laguna had introduced a seventeen year old Kiros Seagill to him when they were all just starting out in the army. Ward had thought that Kiros seemed pleasant enough and he was impressed by his fighting skills, but he still did not know how to take him at first. Instead he relied on the fact that Laguna, who he was already friendly with, seemed drawn to him, and that Laguna was actually a very good judge of character.

 It didn’t take long, however, for him to realize that Kiros was a complicated person. Easy-going and serious, acerbic wit and caring heart, a seasoned warrior who held fast to honor, loyalty and tradition, and yet still as much of an introspective and intellectual thinker as any scholar…Kiros was a combination of many traits that would normally conflict with each other, and yet somehow they all made sense within the context of his personality. Still, despite the dichotomy on the surface, both Ward and Laguna swiftly grew close to Kiros, and Ward in particular found that he and Kiros could relate to each other in their shared desire to fight alongside Laguna. Soon, they found themselves working as partners to support Laguna, along with making sure to give him some well-deserved ribbing from time to time.

That bond between himself and Kiros grew after they escaped Centra and spent time recovering together at one of the Galabadian military hospitals. During that time, Kiros was often the only one who could reliably translate everything that Ward was trying to say, and Ward continued to be immensely grateful to him for acting as his voice during that time and many other times over the years as well.

Ward walked into Kiros’ office and found him sitting as his desk, his head slowly drooping down and his eyes blinking hard in an effort to stay open. Mara had approached Ward earlier that morning and begged him to keep an eye on her husband while he worked.

“ _When he is home, it is a struggle for him to eat and he cannot sleep,”_ she told him. “ _I have tried to convince him to slow down and take some time to rest, but he refuses to listen. He barely speaks anymore. Please, Ward, I know you have so much to worry about already with Laguna…I worry about him too…but I am afraid for my husband as well.”_

Seeing Kiros in this condition, completely worn out and unapproachable, Ward shared her worries.

It was then that he felt his anger diminish and dissolve to some extent. He remembered how much Kiros agonized over how he had had to abandon a gravely injured Laguna in Centra so they could escape with their lives, even though he never said a word about it. He also remembered how badly he felt about Kiros spending all that time searching for Laguna after he disappeared because, deep down, Ward suspected that Kiros did not expect to ever find Laguna…at least, not alive anyway.  It might have partially been about killing time, but Ward was also aware that it was about not being able to let go.

‘ _But this…this time Kiros has to watch Laguna…be like this. It’s probably tearing him up inside.’_

_'But why is he worrying so much about how Laguna will respond to his still being alive? Doesn’t he realize by now that Laguna will forgive him because that’s just how he is? Laguna is just not the kind of person who would throw away well over twenty years of friendship over some misguided attempt to protect him. Hyne, he can be just as much of an idiot as Laguna sometimes...not to mention twice as stubborn.’_

Tears stung the corners of his eyes, but Ward made sure to hold them in. The lives of his two closest friends in the world were on tenuous ground right now, and he did not know if he would be able to save either one of them.

Ward moved to stand next to Kiros and patted his arm to get his attention. Kiros started but then ran a hand over his face and leaned back in his chair while stretching his arms over his head.

“Sorry,” he said. “I know that this paperwork for the next council meeting needed to be done this morning, but I had a mini-crisis to work out with the city’s security branch. I will try to have it finished before the end of the day.”

‘ _You should go back to your rooms and get some sleep,’_ Ward communicated to him. ‘ _Mara is worried about you, and you have already put her through enough.’_

“Mara knows that Esthar can’t just stop simply because we all could use some more sleep around here,” Kiros said, frowning. “And how we choose to resolve…the rest of it…is none of your business.”

Ward’s scowl returned and he nudged Kiros on the shoulder. Hard.

‘ _You know perfectly well that we’ve got people in place to take care of this stuff just in case we need to step away from it for a while for any reason,’_ he told Kiros silently. ‘ _And what happened to Laguna…and to you…is just the sort of reason why we planned for this.’_

“That’s exactly why I have to keep working,” Kiros said, glaring back at him. “Members of the government are on edge and the people are afraid precisely because of what happened to Laguna and because no one knows for sure if he will….We can’t afford to destabilize things even more by taking time off and letting people who are not anywhere near established enough to handle this. There are too many tensions running high right now.”

 _‘Esthar is not that fragile and we can easily step back in if we need to,’_ Ward countered. ‘ _Why won’t you just admit that this isn’t about Esthar or keeping the government intact?’_

Kiros continued to glower at him, but did not respond as he crossed his arms over his chest. Ward knew that Kiros was able to intimidate a lot of people with that stare, but it wasn’t going to work on him.

‘ _Kiros…I know you feel bad about what happened to Laguna. I do too. I keep asking myself if there was something more I could have done to prevent this and I’m sure that you’ve done the same thing countless times by now. And I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m scared that he won’t get better. But that’s exactly why we should be there for him right now: to let him know that we’re pulling for him.’_

Kiros finally stopped glaring, his expression shifting from confrontational to saddened, and he turned away to stare at his desk.

“He has you,” Kiros murmured. “And Ellone and Squall. He has friends and family and an entire nation pulling for him. What difference does one more person make?”

Ward’s shoulders heaved as he let out a huge sigh. He had learned a long time ago that there was no reasoning with Kiros when he brooded like this. He had seen it before right after the incident at Centra. Barring an intervention from Laguna, which wasn’t possible right now, Kiros would simply have to work this out on his own.

‘ _Make sure to wrap up this paperwork in the next hour,’_ Ward said as he backed away. ‘ _Temira is making all of us dinner and is bringing it over to your place…and you know how annoyed she gets if anyone shows up late.’_

“I’ll be sure to be there,” Kiros said, waving him off. He then went back to poring over the documents in front of him.

Ward’s shoulders slumped as he reluctantly walked away. He wished that there was more that he could do for both of his friends, and he hated feeling so helpless in the face of their distress.

Still, he was determined to be strong for both of them and maybe even knock some sense into their heads at some point if it came to that. For now, that was the best that he could do.

* * *

 

Squall squirmed in the chair next to his father’s bed. He wasn’t used to sitting for such long periods of time, but he was also convinced that this chair was one of the worst ones ever created. It didn’t properly support any part of his body and was about as comfortable as a rock. He strongly suspected that it was an artifact demonstrating the true nature of Adel’s cruel tyranny that they had forgotten to throw away.

He looked down with bleary eyes at Laguna’s face. Even though he had been unconscious ever since he had returned to Esthar and had the best medicines Esthar had to offer pumped into his system, Laguna still looked frail and drawn. His eyes were slightly sunken and his cheeks a touch hollowed due to the weight he had lost. His skin was no longer grey, but it was still pallid. Kadowaki had mentioned wanting to remove the oxygen mask, but had not done it thus far because she was concerned about taxing his system any further.

Squall frowned. She hadn’t wanted to say it to him directly, but he understood the meaning behind her words. It wasn’t a matter of conserving Laguna’s strength. It was an attempt to slow the inevitable.

His father was dying, and the chances of him recovering were extremely slim.

Squall took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes which were red and sore. He hadn’t gotten much sleep during these last six days and exhaustion was settling in. A couple of hours ago, Rinoa had given him a sleeping potion and had begged him to use it tonight so that he could get more than a couple of hours of rest for a change. He promised her that he would with the condition that he would sleep on the cot that Kadowaki had left in the corner of the room so that he or Ellone could stay with Laguna for as long as they wished.

He shook his head when he thought of Rinoa. After his outburst at Garden during their trip to Esthar, Squall had been unable to have anything resembling a real conversation with her. He had thought that she would balk at his reluctance to talk to her, but she had shown an unusual amount of patience with his silence. Instead, she focused on trying to take his mind off his worries by updating him on Garden affairs and with news from her father in Deling. When she wasn’t doing that, she would often hold him and let him know that she loved him. Whenever he chose to sit with Laguna, however, Rinoa made sure to give him his space. Squall thought about trying to find some way to let her know how much her actions over this last couple of weeks had meant to him, but he was discouraged when he realized how inadequate he was at finding the right words. For her part, Rinoa didn’t seem to care and appeared to be more interested in what she could read in his eyes than the words that weren’t coming out of his mouth.

‘ _Still, I know she wants me to talk. She’s always telling me that I need to let her know what’s on my mind or she won’t know what to do or say. I’ve been trying to do that, but….’_

In that moment, it suddenly occurred to Squall that Laguna had requested the same thing, albeit indirectly. His father had wanted an open and honest dialogue with him but was struggling with all the awkwardness and old wounds just like Squall was. The only difference was in how Laguna chose to deal with these complicated feelings while still wearing his heart on his sleeve as opposed to keeping it closely guarded the way Squall needed to.

‘ _Is this what Rinoa and all the rest of them meant when they said that Laguna and I were alike? Maybe…maybe there is something to that after all….’_

Squall scrubbed his eyes again and put his hand onto the bed next to one of Laguna’s hands. Almost everyone around him kept trying to boost his spirits and encourage him to not give up hope, but Squall was convinced that it was stupid and futile to not consider the possibility that Laguna could still die. He tried to prepare himself for that outcome and had grappled with days of anger which usually melded into sorrow eventually.

This morning, however, Squall woke up from another one of his restless naps and realized that he felt something different than anger this time. It was something vague and yet potent and he ended up spending most of the day with Laguna while he tried to figure out what it was.

It wasn’t until late at night that Squall finally understood what it was that he was feeling: acceptance.

Squall felt his eyes water up and he leaned forward while bowing his head. He still hated the idea that he would probably soon become an orphan again, but now he no longer felt angry and remorseful that he had had a chance to learn about Laguna. He thought back to when he was a child and about dreams he used to have about his parents. He had fervently wished for a father who was strong, brave and kind and who would try his hardest to make him happy. It had taken him months to recognize this, but Squall finally grasped that his wish had actually been granted. True, Laguna had his faults, some of which never ceased to grate on him, but ultimately, Squall had finally been given the father he had always wanted.  Granted, it happened years later than he would have liked, but now he felt stupid for acting as if his fondest dreams had an expiration date.

‘ _I spent my whole life wishing for this…and the moment I got it, I immediately rejected him and tried to throw him away.’_

Squall moved trembling hands back onto his face and leaned forward even more, curling his legs up toward his body. He was now certain that he would spend the rest of his life regretting his decision to shut Laguna out, especially if his father never woke up. He recalled how he had once told himself that he never wanted to feel the kind of loss he felt when Ellone left the orphanage, and he wondered for a brief second if getting the chance to know his father was worth all this pain. It had been one of the hardest things he had ever had to grapple with, but Squall now knew that the one thing he did not regret was the brief time he had spent with Laguna. No matter what happened from here, Squall would be able to carry the memory of a father who loved him dearly and unconditionally for the rest of his life.

This acceptance, however, could not begin to take the edge off the pain and sorrow he felt, and Squall found himself silently begging for someone to save Laguna’s life.

Squall lifted his head and wiped the wetness out of his eyes. Yesterday, Ellone had given him a suggestion of something he should do to help himself and Laguna. At the time, Squall had had his doubts about what it would accomplish, but at this point he figured that there was no harm in trying just about anything.

Squall sniffed and was shocked at how watery his voice sounded as he began to speak.

“Laguna,” he said. “I…I just wanted to say…that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I said to you. I…I didn’t really mean it. I was angry. Angry and scared. I was just getting to know you and I, I didn’t want to lose my family again. And…I want to thank you, for being so patient and trying so hard with me. I’ll never forget that…or you.”

Squall gulped and worked hard to breathe around the lump in his throat. He wasn’t sure about what else he should say and considered leaving it at that. Suddenly, his heart ached, and Squall knew that there was one more thing he had to get out.

He carefully placed a hand on Laguna’s forearm and squeezed it gently while he closed his eyes and took another deep breath.

“Dad,” he said. For a moment he paused as he took in how incredibly awkward it was for him to address Laguna…or any other person on the planet...that way.

“Dad,” he repeated. “I…I, um…I just wanted to say that I….” Squall squeezed his father’s arm again and felt his shoulders hitch as he struggled to find the courage to continue.

“Please,” Squall finally choked out. “Please wake up. Please don’t…don’t go….I….”

Unable to finish, Squall fell forward against the edge of the bed and buried his face against his forearm, which was pressed into the mattress, while still maintaining his hold on Laguna’s arm with his other hand. He still didn’t know if what he had done and said had accomplished anything.

But he also didn’t see much of a point to caring one way or the other anymore.

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

‘ _Where…where am I? Why do I feel so strange? What is that sound?  My breathing…. Why does it sound like that when I breathe?’_

_‘It’s dark. Can’t see. Wait…are my eyes open? Yes, maybe I should try that. Hyne, why is it so hard to open my eyes?’_

“Mister President? Mister President, can you hear me?”

Bright green eyes slowly appeared from underneath eyelids that were sticky from too many hours spent closed. Those eyelids almost slammed back shut when the light assaulted them.

‘ _Who’s there? Who’s talking? It’s so bright. I can’t see anything. Just a blur…well and maybe some shapes. The light hurts. Want to close my eyes again. But I, I think someone is talking to me.’_

The lights around him were dimmed and then an unfamiliar, but friendly face appeared in Laguna’s vision. He slowly re-opened his eyes further to focus on this face.

“Mister President, my name is Doctor Kadowaki and you are in my care. We are at the Presidential Palace in Esthar.”

‘ _Esthar? How did I get here? Who are you?’_

“I’m a physician from Balamb Garden and I am assisting Doctor Odine in your treatment.”

‘ _Odine? He’s in charge of my case? Well thank Hyne you’re here then. Wait, Balamb? Then that means that Squall….’_

“If you can hear and understand me, please blink your eyes.”

‘ _Blink my eyes? I guess I can do that. Why am I so tired? Wasn’t I asleep just a moment ago?’_

“Very good, Mister President. Now, I need you to try to follow my finger with your eyes. Just keep watching as I move it back and forth. That’s right. Very good.”

_‘There’s something on my face. It’s warm. Too warm. Something in my nose too. Uncomfortable. I don’t want it there….’_

Laguna reached a hand up to fumble with the oxygen mask on his face and the feeding tube in his nose, his movements clumsy and feeble. Kadowaki moved his hand back onto the bed and held it there while she reached for the mask with her other hand.

“Easy, easy, I’m going to remove your oxygen mask and see how well you can breathe on your own, all right? No, I need you to leave the tube alone for now. Just relax. There.”

The mask was removed and Laguna took in a deep breath, relieved at how much cooler his face felt. He blinked his eyes a few more times and tried to open his mouth to speak, but was only able to let out a dry croak.

 “Here, let me give you some water,” Kadowaki said. “I’m sure you are thirsty.”

The doctor let go of his hand and picked up a cup and pitcher from a stand beside the bed. She filled it half-way and put a straw in it before bringing it closer to his face. Laguna started to sit up toward it, but was too weak to move more than a couple inches. Kadowaki then sat on the edge of the bed and gently put a hand behind his head and lifted his face toward the straw so he could drink. After a few hearty slurps, Laguna pushed the straw out of his mouth and Kadowaki let him settle back into his pillow.

“Thank you,” he mumbled, his voice still distorted by sleepiness and disuse.

“You’re welcome,” Kadowaki smiled at him. “How do you feel?” Laguna blinked a few times and turned his head from side to side.

“Tired,” he said. “Weak. How…how long was I….?”

“You’ve been unconscious for a little over seven days,” Kadowaki answered. “Frankly, Mister President, we were quite worried.”

“Please,” Laguna said, shaking his head slightly. “Just…call me Laguna.”

“All right, Laguna,” Kadowaki smiled at him as she stood up. “Now, I know that you just woke up, but I think we better let you get some more rest. You’re still recovering from your ordeal.”

“Wait,” Laguna said, holding a hand out to her. “Um, is anyone…here?”

“You mean family, friends?” Kadowaki asked. “They are close by. But I think you should rest some more before receiving any visi---“

“Please,” Laguna interrupted, his eyes pleading. “I…I don’t want to be alone.” Kadowaki gave him a sympathetic look and reached down to pat his arm.

“I understand,” she said. “Wait just a moment, and I will send someone in. Just promise me that you will rest after they arrive, all right?”

“I promise,” Laguna mumbled.

Kadowaki nodded and walked out of the room. Once he was alone, Laguna shivered and pulled the blankets closer to him. As he lay there and listened to the ticks and beeps of the monitors near his bed, memories of his assault and abduction came back to him, along with the nightmare that Sloclum had tried to drown him in.

‘ _That…that wasn’t just a dream….that…that really….’_

Laguna trembled and started to close his eyes, but he immediately snapped them back open as darkness encroached on his vision. He did not want to return to that darkness, to that oblivion. He could vaguely remember having to fight his way through a shadowy world just to return to consciousness, and he did not want to fall back asleep alone out of fear that he wouldn’t be able to wake back up.

Suddenly he felt a hand on his arm, and Laguna shuddered and looked over to see Ward sitting next to him. Laguna took a breath to calm his nerves and noted the tears that were starting to leak out of his friend’s eyes.

“Hey Ward,” he said with a small smile. “It’s ok. See, I’m fine.”

Ward put his hands on his shoulders for a moment before lifting Laguna up into a strong hug and then carefully helping him to lie back down.

“….”

“Yeah, I’m really glad to see you too,” Laguna said, feeling his own eyes tear up. “Ward, where is everyone? Where’s Elle? And Squall?”

“….”

“They’re both here?” Laguna replied. “And the rest of Squall’s group? Um, no one got hurt, did they?”

“….”

“Well yeah, besides me,” Laguna shrugged. “I’m glad they’re ok. And uh…do you know…you know, if um Sloclum, if he…?”

“….”

“Oh,” Laguna said. “I see. Then I guess we don’t have to worry about him anymore.”  

“….”

“I’m fine, really,” Laguna insisted. “Just…really…tired.”

Laguna blinked his eyes a few more times, but his eyelids grew increasingly heavy and the pull of sleep was becoming too strong.

“Ward,” he breathed. “Please stay…stay with me while I….”

Before he could finish his sentence, Laguna’s eyes closed completely as he slipped into slumber. A light snoring began and Ward grinned again as he adjusted the blankets on Laguna’s bed and settled back onto his chair.

‘ _Welcome back, Laguna.’_

* * *

 

A few hours later, Laguna woke up with a start from the edge of a nightmare, but he felt much more rested. Kadowaki examined him again and removed the feeding tube and the IV line from his arm. Then Ward helped him get out of bed long enough for Laguna to take a very brief shower, shave and change into his normal pajamas of a tee shirt and lounge pants. By the time he was done, Laguna was exhausted again, but also felt far more human than he did before.

As he settled back into his bed, Kadowaki helped Laguna elevate it so he could recline upright. Once that was done, Ward sat back down in the chair next to the bed and held his hand out to Laguna. In the center of his palm was Laguna’s wedding ring and dog tags.

“Thanks,” Laguna said as he slid the ring back on his finger. He then put the dog tags on the stand next to him and ran his fingers through his hair. He thought about pulling it back into his usual ponytail, but then decided that it wasn’t worth it right now because he would probably be sleeping again before too long.

“I would like to run some more tests later,” Kadowaki said. “Just to be sure that we haven’t missed anything.”

Laguna shrugged his shoulders while Ward looked over at her.

“….”

“Excuse me?” Kadowaki asked.

“He was wondering how long I’ll be here,” Laguna said.

“Honestly, I would like you to take it easy for at least another three to five days,” Kadowaki answered. “Even though we were able to heal your wounds, your body went through a high level of trauma. Plus, there was that coma that you were in for a week that we weren’t able to account for. We still do not completely understand what Sloclum did to you.”

“Managed to stump Odine, huh?” Laguna said, putting a hand to his chin. “That is an accomplishment.”

“So until we know more about what happened and can say for sure that you are recovering as you should, I’d ask that you stay in bed as much as possible,” Kadowaki continued. “I will try to make arrangements for you to get anything you need and….”

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Laguna said with a wave of his hand. “Trust me, I’ve got staff here who can take care of that. Ward, have Brishen stop by and see her at some point.”

Ward nodded and Kadowaki tilted her head questioningly at Laguna.

“Brishen is my personal assistant, and he’s awesome,” Laguna said with a smile. “Anything you need, he can get you. Although...I think I’ll ask him to get me something to eat first. I’m starving.”

“No surprise given how you were out for so long,” Kadowaki said.  “I do ask though that you order something nutritious. You’re going to need it while you’re regaining your strength.”

“….”

“Shut up, Ward,” Laguna pouted. “I do not just eat pizza all the time. But…now that you mention it….”

“….”

“All right, all right,” Laguna sighed. “Could you ask Temira to make that one chicken and rice dish? You know, the one with the mushrooms?”

“….”

“Great, thanks Ward,” Laguna said as he leaned back against his pillow. Kadowaki glanced out in the hallway for a moment before turning back toward Laguna.

“I think I’ll leave now,” she said with a smile. “It appears as though you have some more visitors.”

“Ok, see you later,” Laguna said with a wave as she walked out of the room. Seconds later, Ellone appeared, tears brimming in her eyes despite the look of joy on her face.

“Uncle Laguna!” she cried as she rushed over to him. Laguna held his arms out to her and embraced her as soon as she reached the bed.

“Shh, shh,” Laguna said as he held her. “It’s ok.”

“Uncle Laguna,” she sobbed. “I’m so glad you’re awake. I was so scared. I…we…all of us…we didn’t know if you would ever….”

“Hey Elle, I’m all right,” he said, stroking her hair. “Don’t be scared.”

Ellone buried her face against Laguna’s shoulder and continued to cry while Laguna rubbed her back. Ward stood up and backed up toward the door.

“….”

“Ok, I’ll see you in a little bit,” Laguna said as Ward walked out. He then turned his attention back to Ellone, whose tears were starting to abate. He held her silently for a moment more until she finally lifted her head and moved to sit in the chair that Ward had vacated. She sniffed hard a few times and wiped her eyes.

“Sorry,” Ellone said. I’m just so happy that you came back to us. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Elle,” he said with a warm grin. “And thank you, for what you did.”

“What?” Ellone replied. “What do you mean?”

“You know, when you sent me to the past,” Laguna said. “I couldn’t hear what you were saying, but I knew that it was you. Thank you. If it hadn’t been for you and Raine, I don’t know if I….”

Laguna swallowed hard and Ellone reached for his hand.

“Raine was there too?” she said. Laguna nodded. “Oh of course. Of course she was there. She loved you so much, Uncle Laguna. I’m sure she’s with you all the time.”

“That’s what she said too,” Laguna said, his voice rough. “Elle…about that, the past I mean. Why…why did you…?”

“Why did I send you into Squall’s past?” Ellone said. “Actually, it was his idea. He thought that if I sent you into the past, you might be able to free yourself from whatever it was that had a hold on you. He told me to find a way to encourage you to come back to us.”

“But why him?” Laguna said. “Elle I…. It hurt so much, seeing him like that.”

“I’m sorry,” Ellone said. “I knew that it wouldn’t be easy for you to see Squall’s past. That part was my decision. I decided to send you back to see how it was for him growing up. I had to make you understand why he needs you so much.”

Laguna took a deep breath and fell back against his pillow. He closed his eyes and rubbed them for a moment before speaking again.

“I understand,” he said. “But I’m still not sure about how much good I can do for him now. He can’t stand me, Elle. Truthfully, I think he’d prefer me to stay away from him.”

“That’s not true, Uncle Laguna,” Ellone said. “And I can prove it.”

Laguna watched as Ellone got up from her chair and crept toward a corner of the room which had a curtain draped in front of it. Ellone slowly pulled the curtain aside a little bit, and Laguna peered around it. He was startled to find Squall sleeping on a cot. Even from this distance, Laguna could see the dark circles under Squall’s eyes and lines of exhaustion on his face. Ellone let go of the curtain and walked back toward the bed.

“He’s been sleeping like that for hours now,” Ellone said. “It’s the first real sleep he’s had ever since we came to Esthar seven days ago. Before that, he was only sleeping a couple hours a night and he spent most of his time here in this room. Rinoa actually had to give him a potion to get him to sleep and even then he refused to leave you alone.”

Ellone sat down and patted Laguna’s hand while Laguna simply stared at the curtain, his mouth hanging slightly open in shock over what he had just seen and what he was hearing.

“Don’t you see?” Ellone continued. “He was so worried about you. None of us knew if you were ever going to wake up, and it terrified him. He was so afraid that he was going to lose you, his father, that he couldn’t bear to leave you most of the time.”

Laguna continued to stare at the curtain, stunned. He wasn’t surprised that Squall decided to stay in Esthar until he woke up, but Laguna still could not believe that Squall had acted the way he did while he was unconscious.

“Squall….” he whispered his eyes growing moist.

“He might not say it, but I’m pretty sure he loves you, Uncle Laguna,” Ellone said. “Would you like to talk to him now? I could….” Laguna swallowed hard and shook his head.

“No,” he said. “Let him sleep. He’s really needs it. I can talk to him later. And Elle, thank you again. For what you did for me and for watching out for your brother.”

Ellone beamed and leaned over to hug him again.

“You’re welcome, Uncle Laguna,” she said. “And thank you…for coming back to us.”

* * *

 

An hour later, Ellone left and Ward returned with a small plate of food for Laguna. Almost as soon as he was finished devouring everything on his plate, Kadowaki came back to check on him and to take a blood sample for her to run some tests on.

“Everything looks good so far,” Kadowaki said as she looked at the charts in her hands. “Still, I think you should spend the rest of the day getting some additional rest. You’ve had more than enough activity.”

“….”

“Um…Ward wants to know if I’m stable enough to handle one more visitor,” Laguna said, furrowing his eyebrows. “What’s that supposed to mean? Stable enough?”

Kadowaki was about to ask Ward the same thing when she stopped herself, her eyes lighting up as she realized what it was that he was implying.

“I think it should be ok,” she said with a smile. “I just ask that this be the last visitor he has today…and that this visitor makes sure that Laguna gets some sleep.”

“….”

“He says that that shouldn’t be a problem,” Laguna said. “Ok, what’s the deal, Ward? What aren’t you telling me?”

“I will be back to look in on you tomorrow,” Kadowaki said. “I imagine Odine is going to want to have a talk with you too, so I suggest that you take my recommendation to sleep seriously.”

“Will do,” Laguna said with a shudder. He then wondered if there was any way he could get out of seeing the maniacal little doctor tomorrow morning and decided to try to think of some solutions while he tried to fall asleep.

A couple moments after Kadowaki left, Ward stood up from the chair.

“….”

“Wait, you’re leaving?” Laguna said, slightly panicked. “Don’t leave me alone for this…this…whatever this is that you’ve set up. I….”

Ward halted Laguna’s words by leaning closer and clasping his shoulders. Laguna couldn’t help but notice that Ward’s smile was a strange mix of happy and anxious.

“….”

“Ok, but you better be ready to come right back in here if I ask you to,” Laguna said. Ward laughed and patted Laguna’s shoulders before walking out of the room. Laguna sank into the bed and fidgeted with the edges of his blankets.

‘ _What’s going to happen?’_ he wondered. ‘ _I know Ward wouldn’t let anything really bad happen to me right now, but then why is he being so secretive? Is it something to do with Squall…or Sloclum…or….?’_

Laguna gulped and suddenly felt a need to hide under his blankets. He then frowned and cursed silently at himself for being so childish.

“Laguna.”

Laguna gasped and his face immediately turned two shades paler. There was no one in his line of vision yet, but he didn’t need to see him to know who had just said his name. It was a voice he had known for decades and that he would never forget.

“Kiros?” he whispered. Less than a second later, Kiros appeared in the doorway and Laguna shrank down a little more in his bed.

“I…I …,” he stuttered out, his eyes wide. Kiros shook his head and slowly walked into the room.

“No, you’re not crazy,” Kiros said softly. “And I’m not a ghost. It’s me, Laguna.”

“But…but how?” Laguna spluttered. “You were…I mean, they said you were….”

“Dead. Yes, I know,” Kiros said. “And I am truly sorry for that, Laguna. Please believe me when I say that it was necessary for you and everyone else to think that.”

“What?!” Laguna gasped again. “Why? Why would you do that?”

Kiros let out a long sigh and sat down in the chair beside the bed. Laguna continued to stare at him in disbelief. Soon he noticed the sad look in Kiros’ eyes and the same signs of exhaustion that he had seen in Squall’s features.

He then listened as Kiros explained everything: how he had survived the explosion, how he had fooled Ward and recruited Irvine to help him, and how he had tracked Sloclum down and killed him. Laguna struggled to comprehend everything that Kiros was telling him. His brain was still trying to fully grasp the fact that his best friend, who he had thought was lost forever, was actually alive and talking to him.

“That’s the gist of it anyway,” Kiros said as he finished. “Again, if there was any other way I could have done this without putting you through so much grief, I would have gladly taken it. As it was, this was the best possible way to save your life which is part of my job, my duty, and my commitment to you. Please forgive me.”

Laguna trembled as a bundle of conflicting emotions rose up inside him. He wanted to yell at Kiros, tell him to get out, or maybe even let his fist deliver his response to Kiros’ jaw. He mulled over all of those options for several moments and was shocked when he started to cry instead.

Laguna covered his face with his hands as tears streamed down his cheeks.  Kiros put a hand on his arm.

“Laguna? Are you all right?”

“Kiros,” he said between his tears. “You’re fired.” Kiros nodded and bowed his head as he rose from his chair.

“I understand,” he said quietly. “I’ll send Ward back in here.”

Kiros turned to walk away, but Laguna lunged forward and grabbed his wrist with both hands before he could leave.

“Don’t,” Laguna warbled. Kiros turned back around and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Laguna?”

Laguna let go of Kiros’ wrist and rubbed his face vigorously, trying to stave off his tears, but they continued to flow.

“You’re wondering if I’m mad, right?” Laguna said. “Well I am. I thought you were dead, Kiros. I thought I’d never see you again and that it was all my fault. Do you know how that felt? I don’t think you could. You laid down your life for mine all because I didn’t think before I acted again, and I…I hated myself for it. But now, finding out that it was all a trick….Yeah, I’m angry at you for that.”

Kiros nodded and bowed his head again, but did not reply. He looked as if he might try to leave again, but then Laguna put his hand back on Kiros’ arm.

“But I also remember wishing and praying to Hyne that they were wrong and that you were still alive,” Laguna said. “Even while I mourned you, somewhere in the back of my mind there was this tiny bit of hope that it wasn’t true and that you’d come back. It was such an impossible dream…but it actually came true. And it’d be really stupid and petty of me to push you away just because I’m mad at you right now.”

Kiros lifted his head, his eyes brightening slightly, and he placed his hands on Laguna’s arms.

“Just, just promise me that you won’t ever do that again,” Laguna continued, sniffing hard. “I don’t want you to sacrifice yourself for me.”

Kiros frowned and scooted over closer to Laguna, bending down so that Laguna would look him in the eye.

“You know that I cannot make that promise,” Kiros said, his tone stern, but full of warmth. “But I can promise you that, no matter what happens, I will always fight by your side. Do you understand, Laguna? Even in death, I will not abandon you.”

Kiros rubbed his arms and sat back up. Laguna studied his lap and twisted his fingers about while he worked to regain his composure.

“Um, Kiros…about what I said earlier…you know, about you being fired and all….”

“Don’t worry about it,” Kiros said with a smile and wave of his hand. “I was pretty sure that you didn’t mean it. Not with the budgetary committee coming up here soon.”

“What?” Laguna goggled at him. “Is it almost time to start on all that already?”

“Two more weeks,” Kiros said, nodding. “And you know how the Minister of Finance is. If you are not unconscious or dead, there’s no getting out of it. I’m pretty sure he would be more than willing to go over the budget proposals with you while you’re still recuperating in bed.”

“Yeah, you’re not wrong about that,” Laguna said with a sigh. “Remember how we thought that that one sergeant in Trabia was such a control freak? Man, he wasn’t even in the same league as this guy.”

“Oh I remember and I agree with you completely,” Kiros replied. “That is why I had a feeling that you wouldn’t want to get rid of me any time soon. I know you would rather face a pack of Ruby Dragons than deal with him by yourself.”

“Yeah,” Laguna grumbled. “Remind me again why Ward always manages to get out of those meetings?”

“Because Ward wouldn’t be able to hold back from using his harpoon if he had to attend,” Kiros answered.  “You and I both know that it’s better this way.”

“Yeah, it is,” Laguna smiled. “I guess that’s why I keep you around: to help me figure stuff like that out.”     

Kiros grinned back at him. They both laughed for a couple moments until Laguna blinked hard and yawned which prompted a far more somber expression from Kiros.

“You need to sleep,” he said. “I will go so you can….”

Kiros was about to leave when suddenly Laguna lunged for him again and threw his arms around him. Startled, Kiros remained still for only a second before returning the embrace.

“Kiros,” Laguna said, his voice wobbly. “I…I….”

“I know,” Kiros murmured. “It’s the same for me… _contiami.”_

“It’s been a long time since you called me that,” Laguna laughed quietly, the sound uneven. Kiros frowned and rubbed Laguna’s back.

“Even if I do not always address you with the title, my pledge to you remains the same,” he said. “Never forget that.”

Laguna nodded, but still clung to Kiros as his body continued to tremble with reaction. Coming out of his coma and then dealing with so many intense feelings when he was awake and grappling with memories of what Sloclum did to him when he was asleep had left him emotionally fragile. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was desperately hoping that Kiros would not make him endure this by himself.

“Laguna, I will stay if that’s what you want,” Kiros said. “You don’t have to go through this alone.”

Just like he had countless times in the past, Laguna briefly thought about asking Kiros how he was able to read his mind. But just like he had all those other times, Laguna decided against it. He figured that Kiros would never tell him anyway.

“Please?” he whispered as his eyes slid shut.

“Of course,” Kiros said, patting his back. “Now, I do think though that you should try to….”

He stopped when he heard a tiny snore and looked down to see that Laguna had fallen asleep slumped against his chest, his arms still loosely wrapped around his sides. A melancholic smile appeared on Kiros’ lips and he patted Laguna’s back again. After a few more minutes of letting Laguna sleep that way Kiros gingerly maneuvered Laguna away from him so he could lie back down.

“N-no,” Laguna slurred. Kiros looked down to see that Laguna’s eyes were still closed and that he was limply clutching at Kiros’ robes while still asleep.

“Relax,” Kiros murmured into Laguna’s ear. “I’m not leaving. I promise.”

Laguna’s hands fell away from his robes, and Kiros finished placing him back into the bed and covered him with the blankets. Kiros then moved the chair near the bed over closer and positioned it so that it was against the wall right next to Laguna’s head and shoulders. He sat down and stretched his legs out in front of him. Kiros placed his hand onto Laguna’s arm before leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes.

‘ _Sleep well, contiami and I will watch over you.’_

 


	21. Chapter 21

The next morning, Ward walked into the recovery room and smiled at what he found there.

Laguna was nearly buried under his blankets, but Ward could still tell that his limbs were sprawled out all over the bed. Next to him, Kiros was slumped down in his chair, his arms draped across his chest and his legs curled up close to the chair. Both of them were slumbering heavily. Laguna was also snoring away and would occasionally stir and say something in his sleep.

“Mmm…where did that Moogle go…?” he mumbled.

“Never mind,” Kiros replied, also still asleep. “Leave it alone, Laguna.”

Ward began to laugh. When the three of them were in the army, they often had to camp out during patrols. Laguna and Kiros usually shared a tent while Ward had one of his own. Laguna had a habit of talking in his sleep, and eventually, Kiros began to talk back to him while slumbering as well. Thus, if Ward managed to get up before either of them, he would often be treated to the humorous sight of Laguna and Kiros having absurd conversations with each other all while they were both fast asleep.

‘ _Knowing them, they are probably dreaming about the same things while they’re doing that,’_ he thought to himself. ‘ _It wouldn’t surprise me.’_

 Ward smiled even more while watching them. After Laguna had woken up, Ward had made sure to let Kiros know right away. While Kiros had seemed immensely relieved, he still appeared to be hesitant to visit Laguna. As a result, Ward was surprised when Kiros agreed to go to him yesterday evening. The more he thought about it though, the more Ward realized that it made perfect sense.

‘ _Kiros probably figured that he might as well let Laguna have it out with him…and face what he thought was the inevitable anger and rejection. I’m sure he was fully prepared to leave Esthar if Laguna wanted nothing more to do with him.’_

Ward shook his head. Despite Kiros’ doubts, Ward had always been certain of Laguna’s willingness to forgive him and had been confident that their reunion would go well. Seeing as how Kiros had spent the night watching over him and noting how peacefully both he and Laguna were sleeping, Ward was happy to be proven right.

“Minster Zabac?”

Ward turned around to see Kadowaki and Odine walk into the room. Ward moved over to greet them and pulled out a small electronic tablet out of the pocket in his robes. He used it whenever he needed to have more detailed conversations with people and Kiros or Laguna weren’t around to translate for him.

“ _Good morning Doctor Kadowaki, Odine,”_ he tapped out onto the tablet, a soft electronic voice projecting his words. “ _As you can see, Laguna is still asleep.”_

“Yes, and I’m happy that he was able to get some truly substantive rest,” Kadowaki nodded. “But we will need to wake him up to run some more test, plus Doctor Odine has some things he would like to clear up as well.”

“ _Oh sure,”_ Ward replied. “ _But first, you better….”_

“Vat I vant won’t take long,” Odine said, brushing past them and ignoring the rest of Ward’s statement. “The rest of it can wait until I am done.”

Ward held up a hand to try to stop him, but Odine took no notice and headed straight for the bed. However, just as Odine was about to reach down and tap on Laguna’s shoulder, there was a blurry glint of steel and a whooshing sound as a blade sliced through the air. Ward managed to yank Odine back in time so that only the edge of the elaborate collar on the doctor’s robes was cut off instead of his head.

Odine squawked and trembled as he looked over to see Kiros, who still appeared to be half-asleep, leaning over Laguna in a protective stance. Both of his katal in his hands and one of them was currently embedded in the wall. A few seconds later, Kiros’ eyes blinked a couple times, and he lowered his katal.

“Ward?” he said with a yawn. “What’s going on?”

“Vat…vat….” Odine spluttered.

“What happened there?” Kadowaki said, shock evident in her voice. Ward guided Odine to face him.

“ _I tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen,”_ Ward scolded. “ _Kiros had been trained since childhood to be ready for battle at all times, even while asleep.”_

“But I wasn’t attacking him!” Odine said, shaking his fist.

“ _No, but you tried to go near Laguna while he’s asleep,”_ Ward replied. “ _As Laguna’s bodyguard, Kiros will treat that as a threat and will react even before he’s fully conscious. That’s why it’s always better to wake Kiros first if he’s watching over Laguna and they’re both asleep…preferably from a distance.”_

“Was there something you wanted, Odine?” Kiros scowled at him. Odine fiddled with the damaged part of his collar, his lips curling into a snarl.

“I don’t vant to discuss it now,” he said as he spun on his heel. “I’ll come back later after I go over some more findings in my lab…and maybe then I can get some real work done.”

Odine stomped out of the room and Ward laughed again.

“ _Odine will never admit it, but he’s terrified of Kiros,”_ Ward mentioned to Kadowaki. “ _It’s part of the reason why he wouldn’t dare cross Laguna. Plus, it makes it easy for us to keep him in line overall.”_

“Well someone should put him in his place once in a while,” Kadowaki said with a frown.

Kiros put his katal away and rubbed his eyes. He sank back down onto the chair and yawned again. Ward put the tablet back into his pocket and picked up another chair so he could sit next to Laguna’s bed.

“Minster Seagill, it really would be better for you to get some rest in your quarters rather than in a chair,” Kadowaki said.

“I’m fine,” Kiros replied. “Besides, I need to be here when Laguna wakes up again.”

“Don’t worry,” Kadowaki assured him. “So far, all the tests show that Laguna is recovering as he should. There’s no need to worry about if he will regain consciousness.”

“It’s not his ability to wake up that I’m concerned about,” Kiros frowned.  

Kadowaki was about to ask him what he meant by that when suddenly Laguna stirred even more under the bed sheets, his breathing becoming uneven and shallow.

“No…no don’t,” Laguna moaned. “Please stop…Kiros…Kiros, please help me….”

Kiros shot up from his chair and sat down beside Laguna on the bed. He put his hands on Laguna’s shoulder and back and leaned close.

“Laguna, wake up,” he murmured. “I’m right here. You’re just having a nightmare. Wake up now.”

Laguna’s eyes snapped open and he bolted upright in the bed, almost colliding with Kiros in the process. He then leaned forward, his breaths shaky, while Kiros rubbed his back and arm.

“Kiros,” he gasped. “I…I thought you were…that I was….”

“I know, but it’s all right,” Kiros said. “I’m still here and you’re safe now.”

Laguna shivered and moved closer to embrace Kiros, who wrapped his arms around him. After clinging to him for a long moment, Laguna calmed down and loosened his grip. Kiros let him go and stood up to lean against the wall.

“Sorry,” Laguna said sheepishly as he laid down. “I guess I’m still kind of rattled by everything that happened.”

“Laguna, how often have you been having these nightmares?” Kadowaki asked, concerned. Laguna scratched the side of his head.

“Oh, just a couple times,” he said. “It’s no big deal.” Both Kiros and Ward scowled at him while crossing their arms over their chests.

“….”

“Ward said that you’ve had them almost every time that you’ve fallen asleep,” Kiros said sternly. “And I witnessed you almost having more than one nightmare last night.”

“Ok, so it’s happened a few times,” Laguna said. “But you know, a lot has happened to me, so it’s normal, right?”

“Maybe,” Kadowaki said. “But it could also be a side effect of Sloclum’s attempt to brainwash you. We should probably keep an eye on them just in case.”

Laguna huffed and looked down into his lap while Kadowaki began to examine him again. He remained mostly silent while she did this, and Ward was certain that, just like him, Kiros was wondering why he was acting this way.

“Hey, um, where’s Squall?” Laguna asked as she finished up.

“….”

“Oh, that makes sense,” Laguna said. “He probably wasn’t really that comfortable on that cot. Um, did you tell him that I’m better now?”

“….”

“Ok,” Laguna nodded at Ward. “I guess I can wait a little longer to talk to him.”

“All right, Laguna,” Kadowaki said after writing some things down into the file she was holding. “Everything looks positive. At this rate, we might be able to let you continue your recovery in your own quarters by tomorrow.”

“Thank Hyne for that,” Laguna grumbled. “I’ve slept on dirt floors that were more comfortable than this bed.”

“It couldn’t possibly be as bad as this chair,” Kiros smirked. “If the company that makes them has not already gone out of business, I’d strongly suggest banning their production. The people of Esthar suffered enough under Adel’s rule.”

“I’ll be back in a few hours to check on you,” Kadowaki said, chuckling. “Be sure to let me know if you continue to have these nightmares. It might be nothing, but again, it could be a sign of something we might have missed.”

 “Ok, thanks Doctor,” Laguna said as she left. Laguna then let out a sigh and sat up while Ward adjusted his bed so he could recline upright again.

“Laguna,” Kiros said, his tone somber. “We need to talk.”

“If it’s about what happened, could we just skip it?” Laguna asked. “I don’t want to deal with it right now.”

“….”

“Ward’s right,” Kiros said. “It will only get worse if you try to push it down inside you.”

“Kiros, please,” Laguna pleaded. “It…it’s just so much. I don’t think I can handle any more….”

Laguna put his head in his hands and clamped his eyes shut. Kiros frowned when he saw how Laguna’s hands were trembling. He sat back down on the bed and placed his hand over one of Laguna’s. Laguna look up at him in response.

“All right,” Kiros said gently. “We can put this off for now. You have been under a lot of stress recently and probably need a break.”

“Thank you,” Laguna said quietly. Kiros smiled at him and patted his back. Laguna gave him a weak smile in return and laid down against his bed. The three of them were silent for a minute before Laguna let out a long sigh.

“Are you thinking about Squall?” Kiros asked him. Laguna chuckled and scrubbed at his eyes.

“Don’t you ever get tired of reading my mind?” he asked.

“Trust me, I’m not trying to get inside your head,” Kiros smirked at him. “I can only imagine how chaotic it is in there. I’m not sure how Squall was able to stand it.”

Laguna’s face fell and he went back to staring at his lap. Ward and Kiros looked at each other worriedly. Normally, Laguna brushed off their barbs with ease and would sometimes offer a few of his own back at them. It made them uneasy that he seemed so sensitive to them now.

“Laguna…?”

“Did Elle tell you that she sent me back into Squall’s past?” Laguna replied. “I got to see what it was like for him at the orphanage and growing up at Balamb Garden. Kiros, it was awful. He had to endure so much misery, so much loneliness. And…I don’t know…it was like I was able to feel a lot of what he was feeling back then, and what I felt was so painful. I don’t want to abandon him again, but I don’t know how he could ever forgive me for….”

“You never abandoned him in the first place, Laguna,” Kiros interrupted. “I’m pretty sure Squall realizes that by now. And from what Ward’s told me, I think he’s looking for a chance to start over with you. He wouldn’t do that if he wasn’t able to forgive you.”

“Yeah, that’s what Elle said too,” Laguna said. “I just wish I knew what to say to him. We said some pretty terrible things to each other the last time we talked, and I…I don’t want to screw up again.”

“I suppose I understand that to some extent,” Kiros said. “You do have a tendency to ramble on and on and you don’t listen as much as you should. Plus, you put your foot in your mouth with alarming frequency.”

“….”

“And Ward said that you manage to butcher just about every tired saying you can think of.”

“Thanks a lot you guys,” Laguna grumbled. Kiros laughed and put his hand on Laguna’s shoulder.

“But if there is one thing you are good at, it’s speaking from the heart,” Kiros added. “And I think that’s what important right now. He’s probably not expecting you to have all the answers. He just needs to know how you feel about him. I’m sure that, once you see him, you’ll know what you need to say.”

“You really think so?” Laguna asked. Kiros grinned at him.

“Don’t sell yourself short, Laguna,” he said. “I know from personal experience that you tend to find the right words when it really counts.”

* * *

 

A few hours later, Squall slowly walked toward Laguna’s room.

After spending some more time with his father a couple days ago, he took the sleeping potion Rinoa had given him and had ended up sleeping for almost a day and a half. When he finally did wake up, he noticed that Laguna appeared to be sleeping instead of comatose and saw Kiros sleeping in a chair next to him. He immediately went to Doctor Kadowaki, who confirmed that Laguna had regained consciousness and seemed to be recovering at a good rate.

Then Squall went back to Laguna’s room and watched him rest for a while. He thought about trying to wake him up so he could talk to him. But he quickly decided against it and went back to his own room instead so he could freshen up, change and spend some more time with Rinoa before confronting his father. 

Eventually, he figured that he couldn’t avoid it any longer and left his room to visit Laguna. He hesitated several times along the way, his thoughts racing.

‘ _What if he’s still upset over what I said? True, he did say he was sorry right after he was…. But that doesn’t mean he’s actually forgiven me for all the stuff I said and did to him.’_

Squall then thought about how Ellone confessed to him that she had ended up sending Laguna back to his past and that made him even more anxious.

_‘He got to see what I was like as a kid. What if…what if he was disappointed or even disgusted by what he saw? What if he’s glad now that he didn’t have to raise me?’_

At that moment, Squall wondered if he could actually go through with this. As a child, he had heard numerous adults talk about how moody, difficult and unfriendly he was countless times. He tried to tell himself that he didn’t care about what they thought. But even though he tried to deny it, their words still continued to fester inside him. Thus, he was hardly even aware of it when those words took root and convinced him that it was just as well that no one adopted him because they probably would have regretted it.

It was then that he realized that while he might have gotten the father he had always wanted, there was a good chance that Laguna did not get the son he had hoped for.

Squall swallowed hard and willed himself to keep moving. It was tempting to turn and run the other way, but he continued to remind himself that he owed it to Laguna to meet with him one last time so he could make amends before stepping out of his life.

He walked into the room to see Laguna lightly dozing in bed and Kiros sitting next to him, reading a book. Squall noticed a thin dent in the wall near Laguna’s bed and wondered what it was, but decided that it probably wasn’t important right now.

At the sound of his footsteps, Kiros raised his head and nodded at him. Thinking he should let his father rest, Squall started to back away, but then Kiros stood and held up a hand to stop him.

“Laguna,” Kiros said. “You’ve got a visitor.” Laguna groaned and blinked his eyes open.

“Kiros,” he mumbled rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Wha—.” Then he glanced at the door and immediately started to grin. “Hey Squall, good to see you. Are you feeling better? I heard you were pretty exhausted.”

For a second Squall stood in stunned disbelief. Even though Laguna was the one who had been shot, abducted, afflicted with dark magic and spent a week in a coma, he was still far more concerned about his son’s welfare than his own.

“I’m… fine,” Squall replied. “And I’m glad you’re ok.”

Laguna grinned even more, and Squall wondered how it was possible that his father was still thrilled to see him, despite everything that had passed between them.

“I’ll let you two have some privacy,” Kiros said as he walked toward the doorway. “I’m sure you have a lot to discuss.”

Squall moved to the side to let Kiros pass. Just before Kiros walked out, he gave Squall a reassuring smile and patted his shoulder. Squall was surprised by the gesture, but a part of him wondered if somehow Kiros empathized with how difficult this was for him.

Taking a deep breath, Squall walked over to Laguna. He raised his eyebrow in surprise when he noticed that the chairs near the bed were completely different from the ones that were there before.

“Yeah, Kiros convinced me to get rid of those other chairs,” Laguna chuckled as Squall sat down. “They’re being incinerated as we speak.”

“Good idea,” Squall said, unable to suppress a smirk. “I’m pretty sure that making anyone sit in them could be considered a human rights offense. So that just leaves the question of how they got into the Palace in the first place.”

“To be honest, I have no idea,” Laguna said. “But you want to know what’s funny? Kiros actually tracked down the manufacturer, and it turns out that they had gotten their chair designs from Odine’s labs.”

“It figures,” Squall said. “Sis told me that she thought Odine had nothing but contempt for most of humanity and that just proves it.”

Both of them laughed and for a moment, Squall thought that maybe this wouldn’t be as hard as he thought. However, that idea soon vanished when their laughter died down and Laguna regarded him with a thoughtful look on his face.

“Squall I….”

“Wait, Laguna,” Squall cut in. “I need to say something first.” Squall looked down at the floor for a moment and clasped his hands together before meeting his father’s eyes again.

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for what I said before,” he said. “I know that you loved Ra—my mother and it was wrong for me to say those things to you.”

Squall gulped and clasped his hands even tighter together. Laguna silently looked at him with eyes that shone with gratitude, kindness and sincerity.  Squall soon turned his face away, unable to bear the way his father was so easily accepting his apology.

“And I…I just wanted to say that…I wanted to say that I don’t hate you,” he continued.  “It wasn’t your fault that those people in Winhill lied to you about me. And I…I know that you did everything you could to find Ellone and that you didn’t just forget about her so you could take care of Esthar.”

Even without looking at his face, Squall was certain that Laguna was still watching him intently. He found himself wishing that his father would go back to his usual talkative self. Anything was preferable to this awkward, uncertain silence. Squall bowed his head even more and pulled his hands apart so he could wrap his arms around his abdomen in an attempt to pull away from the world.

“That’s all I wanted to say,” he mumbled. “I should probably leave you alone and….”

However before he could get up from the chair, Laguna grabbed his arm and held it gently yet firmly in his grasp.

“Squall, please wait,” he said. “I need to say some things to you too.”

Squall slowly sat back down, still refusing to look at Laguna’s face. Laguna let go of his arm and he pulled it away and went back to folding his arms close to his chest.

“Squall, please look at me.”

Squall frowned and stared down at his forearms. This conversation had already been uncomfortable enough, and he had a feeling that Laguna was about to make it a whole lot worse. He tried to tell himself that he wanted to leave just because of that, but Squall knew that that was far from the truth. If he was honest with himself, he would have to admit that another reason why he desperately wanted to get away is because he was scared. He was sure that the longer he stayed the more likely it was that he would eventually have to face the moment when Laguna told him that they were too incompatible to have any sort of familial relationship.

“Squall…?”

Squall sighed inwardly. There was an earnest, pleading tone to Laguna’s voice and it made him feel like dirt for ignoring it. As much as he wanted to avoid looking into those gentle and surprising insightful eyes, he knew that it simply could not be avoided. Squall slowly lifted his head, his ice-blue eyes reluctantly meeting his father’s emerald-green ones.

“I’m sorry too,” Laguna said. “About what I said to you. I know I said I was sorry before, but that was in the middle of a heated situation and I didn’t get a chance to explain myself. I should have never imploded that you were such a terrible person.”

Laguna sank back against the bed and twisted his fingers together. For a brief moment, Squall thought about mentioning that the word he probably meant was “implied” not “imploded” but then he figured that it wasn’t that important anyway.

“Besides…you weren’t entirely wrong about what you said about me,” he continued. “Part of me was making this about Raine and not actually about you. I….”

Laguna swallowed hard and looked down for a moment before taking a deep breath and meeting Squall’s gaze again.

“I loved her so much, and yet I still went and made the single biggest blunder of my life when I didn’t go back to Winhill with Elle,” he said. “I have always regretted it and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to stop. Every day, I wish I had been a better husband to her. And I…I guess a part of me wanted to make it up to her somehow by trying to be a better father to you.”

Laguna ran a hand through his hair and as he lowered his hand, he stroked his wedding ring with his thumb.

“I know now that that was stupid and selfish of me," he said. “I wasn’t thinking about how you might feel about suddenly having a father thrust into your life. I was too focused on making things up to Raine and my own feelings and excitement over having a child of my own. And after Elle sent me into your past, I realized just how much I wasn’t considering your perspective.”

Squall’s head immediately drooped down upon hearing those words.

“And now you’re sorry that you told me the truth?” he said in a tiny voice.

“Huh? Sorry? Sorry about what Squall?”  Squall shook his head, but did not look back up.

“You saw my past,” he said. “So now you know that we probably wouldn’t have gotten along even if I had grown up with you. It’s not your fault. I mean, it’s not like you would have been the only one who didn’t want to….”

Squall stopped when he felt Laguna grab his arm again, and he flinched slightly at the movement.

“Squall, is that what you think?” Laguna said. “Do you think that I’m disappointed that you’re my son?”

“Aren’t you?” Squall nearly whispered. “I haven’t exactly been civil to you ever since we met. I can’t be like you, Laguna. I can’t just jump into things and wear my heart on my sleeve like you do. I…I don’t know if I’m cut out for this whole family thing. I…I never had one before and….”

Laguna moved his hand from Squall’s forearm to his hand and squeezed it gingerly.

“I’m not expecting you to be just like me just because you’re my son,” he said. “Heck, it’s probably better that you’re not exactly like me ‘cause I don’t know if Raine and Elle would have been able to stand it. And Squall, looking into your past did not make me regret that you’re my son. It made me wish that I had been a father for you even more.”

Squall ground his jaw but did not respond. As much as he dreaded being rejected by Laguna, he wanted to be pitied even less. Unfortunately, his father’s words seemed to be heading in that direction.

“Squall, there’s simply no way I could ever be disappointed in you,” Laguna continued. “I mean, look at you. You’re only eighteen and you’re already the commander of Balamb Garden and you helped save the world. What father in their right mind could be disappointed in someone like that?”

“I didn’t ask to be commander,” Squall mumbled. “Cid just sort of…pushed me into that position. And it’s not like I acted alone against Ultimecia.”

“You mean, sort of like how I just happened to become the president of Esthar and didn’t take out Adel all by myself,” Laguna said with a soft laugh. “Squall, just because you didn’t have control over every aspect of those events and did not act alone doesn’t diminish your achievements. But just to be clear, all that stuff is not what makes me thrilled to be your father.”

“It’s not?” Squall said, startled, while lifting his head to look at him. Laguna shook his head and placed both of his hands onto Squall’s arms. Then he carefully pulled at him, encouraging Squall to move from the chair to sit next to him on the bed.

“No,” Laguna said. “The reason I’m so happy to have you as my son is because of the person you grew up to be. Despite everything that happened in your life, you managed to become a strong, brave, and righteous young man. I just wish that I could have been a part of it. No matter what though, I can honestly and wholeheartedly say that I’m proud of you.”

Squall gaped at him in shock. This wasn’t the first time someone had told him that they were proud of him. Growing up, he sometimes heard it when he performed exceptionally well on some test or during a battle. But no one had ever said that they were proud of him just because of the person he was. Plus, Squall couldn’t really understand why, but something about the fact that it was his father saying this made it seem different and more…meaningful in some way.

Laguna grinned at him even more and suddenly drew him close to embrace him tightly. Squall gasped and stiffened at the gesture.

“What are you…?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Laguna chuckled. “I’m giving you a hug. Come on, I think even you’d have to admit that we could both use one right now.”

Laguna tightened his grip on him while Squall remained perfectly still. Honestly, he didn’t know what to think or feel about Laguna hugging him like this. Rinoa was the only other person who dared try it and even then, it had taken Squall some time to get used to it. At first, Squall was determined to get this over with as swiftly as he could so he could escape. But as Laguna continued to hold him, a warm sensation overcame him and he found himself reluctant to break the embrace.

Eventually, Squall shocked himself when he slowly moved his arms down to return the hug. Laguna let out a sigh of contentment and stroked his back in response.

Squall closed his eyes and buried his face against Laguna’s shoulder. He thought back to when he had saved Rinoa out in space and they were returning to the planet in the Ragnarok. During the trip home, Rinoa had sat in his lap and held him while mentioning how comforted and secure she felt while being held by her parents when she was a child. At the time, Squall couldn’t really relate to what she said, having no experience with that kind of loving gesture himself. Thus, it had been a struggle for him to understand why Rinoa found so much comfort in just being held by him.

But now, being held in his father’s arms, Squall finally understood what she was talking about. True, this was not the same as what he experienced when Rinoa held him, but Squall was forced to admit that it felt so…good to have his father cradle him this way and for Laguna to be so overt in his love for him.

He was so caught up in his confused emotions, Squall didn’t even realize it when his shoulders started to heave and his breaths came out into short hitches.

“It’s ok, Squall,” Laguna murmured, holding him even closer. “I’m here.”

Squall sniffed hard when he felt a couple tears leak out. He couldn’t understand why he was crying. It didn’t make any sense. Still, he wasn’t able to stop himself and burrowed even more against Laguna’s shoulder, desperate to hide away from everything around him. Laguna was more than willing to oblige as demonstrated by the way he shifted about so that Squall could nestle against him.

For a moment, Squall felt one last surge of anger that he had been cheated out of this kind of comfort growing up, but it quickly dissipated in the wake of the warmth he felt in his heart.

‘ _The past is the past,’_ he told himself. _‘It’s pointless to keep dwelling on it.’_

Squall sniffled again, but was relieved to note that his tears were already starting to dry up. He still wasn’t sure how well this was going to work out between him and Laguna, but now he was certain that he wanted…and needed…to try as hard as he could to learn to be part of a family.

* * *

 

As he continued to hold Squall, Laguna felt his heart swell with love and joy, and it had taken a supreme effort to stop himself from crying from happiness.

When Squall first started to talk to him, Laguna was worried that his son was just trying to fulfill an obligation and get it over with as soon as possible. However, as he listened, it occurred to Laguna that he had been oblivious to one vital point all along: that, in many ways, Squall was still a child. True, he was an adult in the technical and legal sense, and he had numerous adult responsibilities. But that didn’t change the fact that his son was still young and still trying to understand himself and the world. Plus, Laguna had been so worried about how Squall perceived him; he hadn’t even considered the possibility that his son could be just as scared and insecure as him about the whole thing.

‘ _It’s like he said…he’s never had a family before. He’s had no experience with any of this. No wonder why it’s so difficult for him to know what to say or do.’_

Laguna knew that it was a risk to try to embrace his son like this, having learned a while ago that Squall disliked most physical contact. But listening to the hurt, fear and aching loneliness in his son’s voice made it impossible for Laguna to not act. He was relieved when the gamble paid off and hoped that Squall wouldn’t be too upset with him.

Thus, he had been even more surprised when Squall not only accepted the hug but reciprocated it as well.

Laguna smiled as he felt Squall shift into a more comfortable position in his arms. His heart had ached when he felt tears dampen his shirt, and Laguna felt the pangs of guilt overtake him for the umpteenth time for playing a role in generating his son’s tears. It wasn’t easy, but he soon managed to push down those feelings and return his focus to taking care of his son.

‘ _It’s just like Kiros and Ward said. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and make Squall and his wellbeing my priority now. I can’t keep pining over missing out on his childhood. I need to do everything I can to make a better life and a better future for my son.’_

Almost as quickly as it started, Squall’s tears stopped and Laguna was thankful that his son wasn’t suffering anymore. Still, Laguna was aware that there was one more thing he needed to do.

“Squall,” he said softly. “I love you.”

Squall did not say a word, and immediately clung to him even more. Laguna smiled again. He hadn’t really expected Squall to say anything, knowing that expressing his feelings with words was extremely difficult for his son to do. Thus, he was more than satisfied with how Squall had let his actions show his gratitude and affection. Laguna now knew that he had been given another chance with his son, and he was determined to not make the same mistakes he did before.

And that meant making sure to never let his family slip away from him ever again. 


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to everyone who has been following this story for a while now. All of your kudos and comments were lovely. :)

A tall, lean man with long, silver hair stood in front of the windows in his mansion, staring at the waning twilight. The mansion was in a secluded area a few miles from Dollet and had been the perfect residence for many years. Here, he could have meetings with his subordinates, conduct experiments and even “entertain” his guests in complete secrecy. It kept him separate from a world he detested, but he was still close enough to acquire the people he needed to carry out his plans…people like Sloclum.

The man let out a sigh and shook his head. He had had high hopes for Sloclum. When he met him almost twelve years ago, Sloclum was already intelligent and resourceful, but he was also blinded by rage and undisciplined. Years of mentoring made it so that Sloclum learned to harness his gifts to good use and to direct his rage into a single focal point. That focal point being Laguna Loire.

The man flicked a stray lock of hair off his shoulder. From the beginning, he had his own agenda concerning Laguna, but he continued to nurture Sloclum’s hatred of the man, confident that it would give Sloclum the needed determination to continue his father’s work. He worried a little about what would happen when Sloclum realized that he had no intention of killing Laguna, but Sloclum took it surprisingly well when he instructed him to take the president alive and begin the treatment process. Once Sloclum brought Laguna to him, he planned on finally telling his protégé everything about why he had been adamant about keeping the president of Esthar alive.

However, it had been too long since he had heard from Sloclum, and he could sense that things had gone wrong.

The sound of footsteps behind him interrupted his thoughts, but he did not bother to turn his gaze from the window. He knew that it was Erikas, one of his most trusted servants.

“Lord Ciaran…I’m afraid I have unpleasant news….”

“Yes, I know,” Ciaran answered. “Sloclum failed.”

“Yes sir,” his servant said, bowing his head. “I’m afraid those SeeDs and President Loire’s attendant, Seagill, were able to intervene before the plan was completely executed.”

“I figured that they might be a problem and I was afraid that Sloclum would underestimate them,” Ciaran replied with a sigh. “They may be children, but they are extraordinarily skilled, especially Loire’s son, that young commander. Plus, they have the assistance of a sorceress, a sorceress who just happens to be both Sorceress Adel’s and Sorceress Edea’s successor. Then, of course, there is Seagill, who is not only brilliant and resourceful, but who, I am also certain, is Loire’s _cusodi_. And once an Eltarian like him makes that pledge, there is absolutely no way to pry him away from his chosen _contiso_. Seagill will stop at nothing to protect Loire, even if he has to sacrifice himself in the process.”

“My lord, it appears as if capturing President Loire will be quite a difficult endeavor,” Erikas said. Ciaran laughed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Difficulties tend to come with anything truly worth having,” he said. “If it were easy, chances are, there would be little of value. And Loire…he is a valuable prize indeed.”

“Quite true, my lord,” Erikas said with a nod. “President Loire is one of the most powerful men in the world. Having him…and consequently Esthar… under our control would be highly beneficial.”

Ciaran laughed again, a musical and yet predatory sound.

“My dear Erikas, Esthar is simply a welcome side benefit,” he said. “Despite what I initially told Sloclum, I’m not the least bit interested in Loire’s political stature. No…Loire himself is far more important to my plans.”

Erikas tilted his head quizzically, but did not ask his master for an explanation. He had learned a long time ago that any single ambition Ciaran had was part of an intricate plan and that it was better not to ask too many questions.

“My lord, there is more,” Erikas said, continuing his report. “The artifact you gave Sloclum was destroyed by Minster Seagill.”

“An unfortunate waste, but of no major concern to me,” Ciaran replied. “There are others.”

“Also, according to one of our operatives in Esthar, President Loire was afflicted with multiple injuries and an unknown illness,” Erikas added. “From what we could gather, the symptoms are consistent with the beginnings of Kakone’s treatment.” Ciaran whirled around to face him, his silver eyes lit up with excitement.

“So, Sloclum had started the process,” he said with a smile. “He just wasn’t able to complete it.”

“It would appear so, yes,” Erikas nodded. “Apparently Doctor Odine has been assigned to his case, so it’s doubtful that the treatment will….”

“Oh, I’m not worried about that,” Ciaran said, his tone gleeful. “Odine is a genius to be sure, but he lacks imagination or a sense of history. I doubt that he will be able to figure out on his own what he is actually dealing with, and there are no other scientists currently in Esthar who can begin to compare with his capabilities. Loire may recover from the injuries he received from Danior, but those dark magics Sloclum implanted will not wither away so easily. The seed has been planted and will simply need time to grow before we begin our plans anew.”

Ciaran turned back toward the window and lifted his chin so he could gaze at the stars.

“That is all I have to report,” Erikas said. “Is there anything else that my lord requires?”

“That’s all for now, Erikas,” Ciaran said with a wave of his hand.

Erikas bowed slightly before leaving the room. Meanwhile, Ciaran continued to smile as he watched a cloud drift by the moon.

‘ _Yes…it will not be too long before that spark of dark magic will spread. Once that happens, it will be far easier to get a hold of Loire. Granted, Seagill’s presence might complicate things…but the cusodi tradition has almost completed died out among the Eltarians. Chances are, Seagill has had little to no training as to how to carry out his pledge, and as a result, he probably knows nothing of his true role in his contiso’s life. Thus, he will not be able to stop what will inevitably come.’_

_‘And once that happens…my destiny will finally be realized.’_

* * *

 

“I just want to say again how much I appreciated all of your support during this time,” Laguna said, addressing a gathering of representatives from the press who stood in front of the Presidential Palace and the crowd of people who gathered around behind them. “I can’t tell you how much it meant to me to have Esthar stand behind me while I was recovering. I…ah, heck, all of you were pretty awesome.”

A ripple of cheers mixed with laughter went through the crowd. It had now been a week since Laguna had woken up from his coma. Yesterday, Kiros had arranged a press conference so Laguna could address Esthar to help ease the tensions that still lingered. As a result, today the Head Attendant stood a few feet away and watched as his president talked to the public. Laguna had grumbled about it more than once until the moment it began, but Kiros was pleased to see that, once again, the president of Esthar managed to bring a sense of calm and security to the people along with a bit of light-hearted amusement.

“And I’d like to thank General Caraway and all the representatives from Galbadia who stepped up to give us the assistance we needed,” Laguna continued.  “I hope that we can continue to work with them to build a better future for everyone. Well, I guess that’s all I have to say for now, so thanks again. Oh and to the guy who sent me a copy of the Dancing with Moogles finale: you rock.”

There was another round of laughter and applause as Laguna waved a few times before walking back into the Palace. Once there, he plopped down onto a couch in the lobby and massaged his right calf vigorously.

“Geez, I hate giving speeches,” he said. “I always feel like a bug frying in the spotlight.”

Kiros had followed him inside and was currently standing beside the couch next to Ward. He laughed and put a hand on Laguna’s shoulder.

“You did just fine,” he said. “Although, Hyne only knows what the press is going to make of your ‘learning to be more like Bite Bugs’ comment.”

“I was just trying to make a point about being persistent and stuff like that,” Laguna whined. “I mean, wouldn’t you agree that Bite Bugs are the hardest thing in the world to get rid of?”

“I…suppose,” Kiros said. “But I don’t know how the people of Esthar will feel about being compared to large, annoying insects.”

“True,” Laguna said, putting his hand to his chin.

“….”

“Oh and Ward said that you need to let go of the whole ‘a Chocobo and a Geezard walk into a bar…’ story,” Kiros added. “People are going to start to wonder if you really are brain-addled.”

“Some friends you guys are,” Laguna scowled. “You have never appreciated my classic sense of humor.”

Both Kiros and Ward laughed this time and soon Laguna joined in. After a moment of this, Laguna leaned back against the cushions and closed his eyes.

“Maybe you should rest now,” Kiros said. “It’s your first day back to work and it’s already been a long one.”

“No, no, I’m ok,” Laguna said as he sat back up and opened his eyes. “I’m sick of staying in bed. Besides, there’s too much to do right now. Can’t stay away from the office forever.”

“I suppose not,” Kiros said, frowning. “But remember what we told you, Laguna: if you need help with anything or need time to step back….”

“I’ll let you know,” Laguna said with a smile. “Geez Kiros, you’re worse than my mother sometimes, you know that?”

“Your mother had the advantage of looking after you when you were much smaller and not in charge of an entire country,” Kiros smirked. “I have not been so lucky.”

“Whatever man,” Laguna said, sticking his tongue out at him.

“I see it’s business as usual for the government of Esthar.”

Laguna, Kiros and Ward turned to see Squall and his friends walk into the room. Laguna jumped up from the couch to greet them.

“Hey Squall, everyone…are you guys leaving soon?” he asked.

“As much as we have truly enjoyed it here in Esthar, we really do need to get back to Garden and disembark from Fishermans Horizon,” Quistis said.

“Yeah, Mayor Dobe isn’t exactly thrilled with us being there all this time,” Zell said with a shrug. “Besides, I heard that we’ve got some potential contracts lined up so….”

“I understand,” Laguna said. “Trust me, I know first-hand how Dobe is. Good guy, but man he is rigid on that whole ‘no fighting’ thing.”

“Thank you so much for having us here,” Rinoa said. “I hope we can come back to visit soon.”

“Yeah,” Selphie said. “But just so you’ll know, I haven’t forgotten that you still owe me a movie, Sir Laguna.”

“Um I’ll see what I can do, Selphie,” Laguna said, scratching the side of his head. “But really guys, thank you for all your help. If there is ever anything you need from me or from Esthar, just let me know.”

“Thanks Laguna,” Zell said as the others nodded in agreement. Laguna smiled at them and then focused his attention on Squall. He wanted to say something more to his son, but he couldn’t find the right words to say in front of everyone else.

“Laguna, Ward and I are going to our offices to start on the mountain of paperwork that you’ve been neglecting,” Kiros said. “We’ll meet up with you again in a couple hours.”

“Thanks and sorry about that,” Laguna said, watching them walk away. “I’m going to help out. I promise.”

“Oh and we need to get going too,” Quistis said, suddenly. “We have some last minute things we need to do at Garden before we can leave. Right, Irvine?”

“Oh yeah, right,” Irvine said with a wink. “But hey, it’s just routine stuff, so there’s no reason why Squall has to come right away, right Rinoa?” Rinoa stared at Irvine for a second before realization hit her and she smiled.

“You’re right,” she said. “We can take care of all that and Squall can take a transport back to FH in a couple hours. Besides, he might need to make one last report to our clients before leaving.”

Zell opened his mouth to ask what was going on, but Selphie kicked his shin before he could say a word.

“Well then, we should get going,” Quistis said. “We will see you later, Squall.”

“Wait a minute,” Squall said, crossing his arms over his chest. “What are you….?”

Before he could finish his sentence, the rest of his team walked out of the Palace, leaving him alone with Laguna. Squall then scowled and let out a sigh.

“That wasn’t subtle at all,” he scoffed.

“What? You mean them leaving us alone?” Laguna said. “No, I guess it wasn’t, was it? We really do have busybodies for friends. Ah well, it’s ok. You know, they only do that because they care.”

Squall continued to frown while Laguna shuffled over to him.

“So…you want to do something?” he asked. “We’ve both got a little while before we have to get back to the real world.”

The frown on Squall’s face slowly melted away and was replaced by a more thoughtful look. After another long moment of silence, Squall reached into his pocket and pulled out a card deck.

“How about another game of cards?” he asked.

“Oh sure,” Laguna replied, beaming. “I can get my mat generator and….”

“We won’t need it,” Squall interrupted. “I was just thinking of going with only Same for the rules of play and One for trading.”

“Oh,” Laguna said, surprised. “Ok, well…I guess we can play right here then.”

Laguna waved a hand at a nearby coffee table, and they walked over to it. Squall pushed a pair of chairs over to it, and he and Laguna pulled out his deck before sitting down across from him. While he thumbed through his cards to pick out which ones to use, Laguna glanced up to see Squall skimming a few off the top of his deck.

‘ _I wonder why he went with such easy playing rules,’_ Laguna thought to himself. ‘ _Not that it will matter. Squall will probably totally kick my butt anyway with the cards he has. Not to mention how good he is at this.’_

“Let’s flip a Gil coin to see who goes first,” Laguna said. “I’ll take heads.”

 Squall nodded, and Laguna shoved a hand in his jeans pocket and pulled one out. He tossed it into the air and it landed with a sharp ping on the coffee table.

“Ah darn,” Laguna said. “I have to go first. Are you sure you don’t want to go for two out of three?”

“Quit stalling, Laguna,” Squall said with a smirk.

“All right, all right,” Laguna said. “Let me think.”

Squall leaned back in his chair and waited quietly until Laguna finished flipping through his cards a few times and put a Behemoth card down. Without a moment of hesitation, Squall put down his first card: a Bite Bug card.

‘ _Geez, I thought he would have gone with something better than that,’_ Laguna thought. ‘ _It could be a trap though. I better be careful.’_

Laguna scanned his cards again, confident of his next move. He looked back up to see Squall watching him, and he found that he couldn’t bear this silence anymore.

“So…I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed having you here,” Laguna said. “And getting the chance to get to know you. I...I’d like to think that this is the start of something.”

“Something?” Squall said, putting down a Buel card. Laguna shook his head, stunned at how easily he was capturing all of Squall’s cards.

“Yeah,” Laguna said, scratching the side of his head. “I mean…I guess what I’m trying to say is, I don’t want you to just leave and have that be the end of things. I, I know it won’t happen overnight, but I’d like us to try being a family.”

“It won’t be easy,” Squall said with a frown. “You are Esthar’s president and I’m the Commander of Balamb Garden. It’s not as if we can just drop in on each other whenever we feel like it, and there may be many times when we won’t be able to see each other for a while.”

“I know,” Laguna said. “I don’t like it, but I understand why it’ll have to be that way. I’m sure we can learn to adjust.”

“And I can’t promise that we’ll always be able to get along,” Squall said. “I mean, we’re two different people, and I doubt that we will be able to stop ourselves from annoying each other from time to time.”

“Oh sure, but that’s no big deal,” Laguna said. “Heck, I’ve been friends with Kiros and Ward for decades, and there are still times when we get on each other’s nerves. That’s just the way it is with close relationships.”

Squall looked down at his cards and let out a long sigh before meeting Laguna’s gaze again. 

“Laguna, I…I want to try, but I still don’t know if I can do this,” he said. “Like I said before, I’ve never really had a family before, so….”

Squall hesitated and stared at his cards for a long moment before laying down the card with his own portrait on it that he had won from Laguna the other day. Laguna winced as soon as he saw it.

“Look Squall, maybe you don’t have any experience with having a father,” Laguna said. “But you know, that doesn’t really matter because I don’t have any experience at being a father either. So, really we’re in the same boat here. And besides, nothing says that we have to try to be just like everyone else in the way we choose to be a family.”

Laguna studied his hand for a moment and then placed an Ultima Weapon card onto the table. Then he leaned closer to Squall, making sure to look his son in the eye.

“What I’m trying to say is I’m not asking you to live up to some ideal image,” he said. “I understand that we’ll probably both make mistakes and that sometimes things aren’t going to go smoothly between us, but that’s ok. No matter what happens, you’re still my son and I will always love you. And if you’re willing to keep trying, then so am I.”

Squall said nothing and went back to concentrating on the cards in his hand and the ones spread out on the table. Laguna wished that he could know what his son was thinking, but the fact that Squall was not frowning, rolling his eyes, or looking as if he might flee at any moment was an encouraging sign to him.

Squall put down a Geezard card before speaking again.

“All right,” he said softly. “I…I want to try. I do. I….”

“It’s ok, Squall, I understand,” Laguna grinned at him. “Talking about this stuff isn’t your thing. I get that. I’m just thrilled that you’re giving me this chance.”

“Whatever,” Squall said as he put his last card down: another Bite Bug card. Laguna slapped down the final card of the game and his mouth fell open as he surveyed the cards in front of him.

‘ _What is going on?’_ he wondered. ‘ _Other than the card he got from me, Squall used all low-level, pathetic cards that a novice could have beaten. Wait, he still has one in his hand, I wonder if that would have been the one to clinch things.’_

“I guess you won,” Squall said, shrugging his shoulders. “Pick out which card you want.”

Squall scooped up his cards from the table and lined them up in front of Laguna. Then he slowly put down the one card he did not play, and Laguna gasped when he looked down and saw his own face staring back at him on the card. He stared at it for a moment before looking back up at Squall, who blushed a little and turned his face away.

“When I met up with Ellone again at the conference, she…she said she wanted to give me that card as a gift,” Squall said. “I told her that she didn’t have to do that, but she insisted.”

Squall looked down at the floor while Laguna smiled and gazed at the cards in front of him. It was a subtle gesture, but Laguna sensed that Squall had purposely used these cards. His hand reached toward the Squall card, and in that moment, Laguna finally understood the meaning.

Not only was Squall giving him back the card he had lost, he had also wanted him to know that he carried a card with a portrait of his father on it…and that it meant something to him.

“Thank you, Squall,” Laguna said as he picked up the Squall card from the table and held it reverently in his hand.

“You don’t have to thank me,” Squall said. “You won the game.”

“I know,” Laguna said. “But thank you anyway.” A small smile made its way onto Squall’s face.

“You’re welcome,” he said quietly. Laguna grinned again and carefully put the card off to the side.

“Hey, we’ve still got lots of time,” he said. “How about we play another game?”

“Sure,” Squall said, his smile growing. “But I’m warning you now, Laguna, just because won’t be using Random or All for trading, that doesn’t mean I’m going to go easy on you.”

“Fine with me, son,” Laguna said. “I wouldn’t expect any less from you. And hey, while we play, how about I tell you some more about Raine and about Winhill.”

“I’d like that,” Squall said, his eyes conveying his gratitude.

“Ok, then I guess I should start from the beginning,” Laguna said as he gathered up his cards. “I was pretty out of it for days after the villagers found me, so it was a shock when I woke up and found myself in a bed with Raine standing over me. I wanted to tell her that she had beautiful eyes, but she put a stop to that when she proceeded to tell me to quit staring and see if I could lift my arm so she could start changing my bandages. Things seem to go that way between us all the time at first. But…even then, I knew that something in my life had changed for the better.”

Squall smiled again as Laguna told him an assortment of stories from his time at Winhill. Neither of them paid much attention to the game, and as a result, both of them ended up losing more times than they would have liked. Still, that hardly seemed to matter all that much.

The shadows of the past had finally begun to fade, and father and son were finally ready to walk toward the light of the future.

 


End file.
